Hopelessly I'll Love You Endlessly
by x-Jaela-x
Summary: A familiar cold hand grabbed mine and before I knew it I was being pulled into one of the empty classrooms. "I'm sorry," he apologized. "I just needed a little longer with you." He said gently and I could feel his golden smile without even seeing it. RS.
1. Home

**Hopelessly I'll Love You Endlessly**

**AN: **This is like my first ever story and through like weeks - no - months, even, of my best friend telling me that I should write an FF, here it is. So I hope you enjoy and review! This story is a yaoi, and as the infamous line goes: Don't like. Don't read!

**Disclaimer****: **If I owned Kingdom Hearts, all of your innocent little minds would be corrupted with endless amount of crap that it would be oozing out of your system. And seeing as that hasn't happened, me owning _anything _to do with KH (Other than this story) is a no show.

**Chapter One**

**Home**

_Pale hands snaked along my skin, gently caressing the flesh that would of been covered by my shirt, had it not been thrown away only moments ago. His chest was pressed kindly against my back and I could feel his heart beating fast, just in time with mine. My eyes fluttered shut as he continued to touch my bare upper half and started to kiss and lick lazy designs on my neck. I absentmindedly rested my head back onto his shoulder, exposing more flesh for him to claim. Once he was satisfied with his work, he began light butterfly kisses up to my jawbone, he used one of his free hands to stroke the front part of my neck and bring my face up towards him. My half lidded eyes saw him lick his pink lips before crashing our mouths together in a passionate kiss._

_I'd never thought that I could feel like this before, what's more is I never thought that _he_ would be doing this to me. It felt like complete euphoria even though all it was __was__ skin against skin with a few kisses here and there. But it felt great__…_

_It felt right._

_He pulled apart for air, causing me to groan inwardly at the loss of contact. I turned around so that I faced him completely. Lust and something else I couldn't make out filled his teal eyes. Despite the darkness in the room, I could tell he __wanted__ this more than I __did__. I __wrapped__ my arms around his neck and he responded by wrapping his around my waist. He pulled me closer and we both let out a surprised moan when our clothed arousals rubbed together. My hips instantly jerked forward, craving to feel that sensual feeling again but then he placed both soft hands on my hips firmly._

_"Riku...I..." I started but I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to word what I wanted._

_"Shhhh." he silenced me with a kiss, as I pulled away I felt his hands ghost their way to the back of my neck to pull me closer. Our foreheads bumped tenderly together and he moved so that our noses rubbed against one another. His hand, which was currently on my neck, moved its way to my hair which he thread his long fingers through. My eyes fully closed at the sensation and all I could think about was Riku. Riku was doing this to me. "…Sora?" He whispered in my ear before he nipped lightly on the lobe._

_I was too overwhelmed in pleasure to know that he even called my name, let alone respond._

_"Sora," he whispered louder to me. Reluctantly my eyes opened to a devious smirk._

_"You've got to wake up."_

**: :**

As if on cue, the blue covers of my bed went flying into the air as I was not only startled by the awakening sound of my alarm clock, but also the dream that took over my subconscious mind. My blue orbs scanned the remainder of my room to make sure that no one was in whilst I brushed away the sweat from atop my head with my arm.

I don't even remember the last time I spoke to Riku, let alone start having these _dreams_ about him.

The beeping was still emerging from my alarm clock and I practically tossed the device across the room, I guess I was a little frustrated that it woke me up a little earlier than I would have liked to. But as they say: 'duty calls', 'duty' meaning 'school', of course. I reluctantly rose from my bed and noticed my _problem._ Looks like I'll be having a cold shower… again.

Once my shower was over and my teeth were cleaned, I dressed myself in my usual school attire and made my way downstairs. Roxas, my twin, was already eating his cereal by the time I reached the kitchen. He regarded me with a small grunt and I nodded in his direction then made my way to the refrigerator. There was someone missing, and I can only imagine why he's not here. Clinging onto this little bit of hope that I wouldn't get the answer that I knew was coming my way, I asked Roxas "Where's Dad?" as I grabbed the orange juice and sat down on the empty seat next to him. Roxas finished his cereal, let the spoon fall into the empty bowl and relaxed backwards in his chair.

"He left a note on the fridge saying that he had another business trip that he just _had_ to attend to and left about five in the morning." He replied dully.

My dad always does this. He just leaves sometime in the morning or in the middle of the night and doesn't bother tell us where he's going and when he's going to come back. The last time he done this, he was gone for a total of three weeks and Roxas and I had to stay at our older brother, Leon's, house for a while.

That was _not_ happening again.

Roxas and I would just have to try and get by on our own for a while. Being seventeen, I think we're both old enough to look after ourselves and we're hardly in the house as it is. So I think we'll be okay. I have a theory that it has got nothing to do with work and that my dad has a secret girlfriend, Roxas thinks that he just can't stand to be near us. I smiled a little at my brother's pessimistic attitude and began to drink my drink. I notice that Roxas glanced over at the clock before placing his bowl in the dishwasher and made a grab for his schoolbag. At first I looked at the clock, then at my watch to make sure. "Leaving so soon?"

"Yep, I'm going to go to Axel's house then walk him to school."

Axel was the new student to our school. He came to our school two days ago, I've met him once and what he lacks in time being at our school, he _definitely _makes up for with his personality. Roxas and his little gang: Hayner, Pence and Olette, have been asked to take care of him and show him around school. Well really Hayner had been asked to take care of him as punishment for 'arguing with profanity' at one of the teachers at our school. Axel was in the grade above us though; he was in the same year as Wakka and Riku.

"Isn't Hayner supposed to be taking care of him or whatever? Why are you doing it?"

"Because," He started as he adjusted his back pack, "both Hayner and Axel are a bunch of smart asses and when smart asses clash together…" He walked over to me and handed me my cell phone, "Bad things happen and Roxas isn't happy."

"You used my phone?" I asked completely uninterested about his last little remark.

"I had to, mine's dead and I needed to get directions." He replied as he quickly jogged out of the kitchen and made his way to the front door. I didn't even have time to rise from my seat before he cried "Thanks Sora, see ya at school. Bye!" and the front door shut.

If there was anyone I could count on to irritate me and make me laugh at the same time, it was Roxas. Not only is he my twin, but he is also one of my best friend and I don't know what I would do without him. Its kind of weird, despite us being twins and all, Roxas and I are complete opposites. He has always been unenthusiastic and stoic whereas I've always been optimistic (or at least I try to be) and as useful to everyone as I possibly could be. His hair is blonde whereas mine is brunette and much spikier and his eyes are just that tiny shade darker than mine.

After a couple of minutes since Roxas' departure, I was able to have a slice of toast with jam, watch a bit of TV and set off for the tiresome day ahead of me. It's a known fact that I'm quite popular around Destiny Islands and I offered a few waves and smiles to some friendly familiar faces as I walked to school. People often stopped me in my tracks for a conversation about how my brothers and I were doing. The sun was shining as bright as ever and my school clothes didn't help my whole heat situation.

We've had to wear basic school uniform to for three weeks and we've got the rest of next week to go. Usually we would be able to wear what we wanted but seeing as some students decided to graffiti, trash parts of our school and not own up to it, we all are being punished. It hardly seems fair, but I doubt the culprits would own up to it anyway.

Once I reached Destiny High, I didn't have anytime to brace myself for the bone crushing hug that Selphie embraced me in. I managed a small "eek" in surprise before she was pulled away by Wakka. Once I started breathing properly again, Selphie began to speak.

"Sora!" she smiled "Do you know what day it is today?" she asked devilishly as she held her hands behind her and swung from side to side.

"Err… Friday?" I asked cautiously. Wakka stood behind Selphie, bowed his head and slapped his palm to his forehead. Damn. If I didn't think if something fast I would be in it for sure. "I mean, Friday the seventeenth…Erm…" I looked back at Wakka for some guidance, he held up a Blitzball with a purple and silver party hat on top of it with the numbers '17' marked on it. Then it all clicked together. "…Tidus' birthday right? Did you really think I'd forget?" I gave her a cheesy smile, which she easily fell for and Wakka pretended to wipe away fake sweat from his forehead.

Selphie smiled sweetly back at me and before I knew it dragged me and Wakka into the school building. Selphie has always had this secret crush on Tidus, but he's too obsessive over Blitzball to notice. She had been telling Kairi a couple of weeks ago how she's going to make his seventeenth a special one and finally tell him how she feels. Kairi then told me and I told Wakka and once everyone in our little group, apart from Tidus, knew about Selphie's plan, we all decided that we would throw him a surprise birthday party.

Although _this_ surprise party wasn't going to be like balloon animals and corny games that we used to have when we were younger. Tidus has been known for enjoying actual parties when people dance all over the place, pass out and are genuinely having a good time. A couple of months ago when it was Wakka's eighteenth, he threw himself a party when people we didn't even know turned up, got drunk, danced themselves silly. That was probably one of the best parties any of us have ever been to. So we wanted to do the same type of thing for Tidus and give Selphie a chance to tell him the truth. Except I doubt there'll be alcohol, or at least I'm hoping there isn't. Kairi plus alcohol equals a hell lot of trouble for me.

Her green eyes shouted out to me with pure excitement. She wore the biggest smile I have ever seen on her face while she jumped and clapped her hands together. "He'll be here any minute and I don't want either of you two ruining the plan alright?"

"So, where is the little birthday boy anyway? I want to give him my present ya?" Wakka said once we started walking through the hallways and spun the ball on his middle finger.

"Kairi said that she'll walk with him and keep him busy while we finalize things." She replied. We were making our way to the cafeteria where we knew it wouldn't be empty and knew that people would overhear our conversation. That's what we wanted. "So you know the plan right guys?" Selphie asked us a bit too loudly, on purpose, as we entered into the lunch room.

We knew _exactly_ what she was doing.

"I think so; could you just run that past me one more time?" I asked her casually as we took our seats deliberately in front of some seniors.

A fake sigh released itself from her pink lips. "Well first of all, you, Wakka and Kairi are going to act like it's not a big deal that he's turned seventeen. He'll be all upset and I'll take him to the movies, then we'll come back to Wakka's house about ten-ish and then party!"

"Whoa, whoa! I thought that we were having it at your house. We can't do it at mine; Lulu is in for the weekend!"

"We can't do it at mine." Selphie whined. "My mom and dad would kill me if they knew what I get up to." she pouted.

I could see the disappointment written all over Selphie's face. If only I could… "Mine." I interrupted and caused them both to look at me. "We can do it at mine; my dad is out of town for Gods knows how long, so the place will be free."

Selphie clapped her hands together, wore one of the biggest smiles I have ever seen on her, before she practically jumped over the table and gave me a tight hug once again. The pout from earlier had completely banished and I was just glad to wipe it off her face, she has been waiting for this day for a long time, and I couldn't let anything ruin this. I returned the smile and she released me from her death grip.

"Okay so we're all camping at Sora's then? I'll tell Lulu I'm sleeping at Tidus', if she found out that I was staying at yours while your dad was out of town, I'll be a dead man ya?"

"I've already told my parents that I'm spending the whole weekend at Kairi's, Kairi said the same thing to her parents about me."

"Now that leaves only one problem." They both turned to look at me and I notice Selphie's expression dimmer a little. "Tidus. How are we a) going to get him to actually stay the night with us? And b) going to persuade his mom to allow him out all night on his birthday?"

"My dear Sora, what do you take me for? An amateur? Well you know that Blitzball camp Tidus and Wakka are going to when summer vacation starts? Well what they have to do is go to an induction weekend on the seventeenth of this month so that they can be fully accepted." She replied cheerfully, causing me to give a big incredulous look.

"But… If… there's an induction weekend from today…then?" My perplex look was gradually fading away as I pieced together all of what she was saying. She leaned back into her chair coolly as she saw me figure it out. "Selphie you didn't! Are you really that sneaky?"

"Just thank my awesome computer skills, very convincing signatures and literature." She beamed, triggering one from both Wakka and I.

The bell rang triumphantly. Alerting us that first lesson has unwontedly arrived.

Wakka stood first. "I've got gym first with Tidus, so I'll be sure to act _uninterested _around him." Selphie's eyes squinted slightly as she tapped her index finger on the side of her nose whilst Wakka saluted us and jogged off. Selphie and I took our time to out of the cafeteria. We reached the entrance to the lunch room and stopped once we heard a voice from the other side of the room.

"_Dude! Did you hear that? We are so going tonight."_ Selphie smirked as another one of her plans worked, and we set off out of the lunch room and back into the hallways.

"What lesson do you have?" She asked me as we picked up the pace.

"Double science, you?"

"English and then… erm… French." Selphie answered and then stopped in front of her classroom. "I'll see you later Sora, and thanks for the place tonight!" And with that she vanished into her classroom

I looked at my watch and realized Selphie had tricked me to walking her to her classroom as mine was all the way on the other side of the building. I have to hand it to her - the girl was good. I started to jog off in the other direction which soon turned into a full on run. I knew that if I was late to this lesson today Mr. Rime would keep me behind after school, and that just _wasn't_ happening. Not tonight, Selphie would murder me viciously.

Once my classroom was in view, I practically tried to race time and make it before he slammed the door shut and deemed me as 'late'. As I ran, I nearly fell over twice before I made it just that spilt second quicker through the wooden door. As I entered the classroom, near enough everyone's eyes were fixed on my doubled over form as I tried to gather the oxygen around me.

"You're lucky Mr. Leonhart. A second later and you would not have been in my class. Please, take your seat." He commanded and I did as I was told.

I seated myself next to Kairi, at the back of the classroom to draw attention away from myself, who had an amused look on her face. She giggled quietly to herself once she saw my flushed cheeks and look that I gave her. My breathing had just about slowed down to normal, which gave me enough strength to ask "What?" to the wine red head.

"Nothing," she smiled and tucked a lock of hair behind her ear. Mr. Rime had already begun talking to the class about what we were going to be doing in this double period. "So Sora?" Kairi whispered to me, keeping her eyes firmly on all of the stuff he was writing on the board and taking notes.

"Hmm?"

"We still on for tonight right? I was walking with Tidus today, and he doesn't have a clue. Although he was a _bit_ confused when his mom waved him off a 'good weekend' instead of a 'good day at school' but I doubt either of them suspects anything."

"That Selphie can sure work wonders." I muttered pretty loudly and heard Kairi giggle a little. "She's really psyched about this whole thing so we can't screw it up. Oh, and there's been a change of plan, we can't do it at Wakka's because his parents are in, so we're having it at mine."

Kairi turned and gave me her full attention. "Yours? But, like, what about your dad? And remember after school we said that the two of us would go into town and pick up any last minute stuff? How are you going to do that and be back in time to decorate your house for Tidus?"

"Kairi relax. My dad is out of town for… well I don't know how long for and as for the house… lets just _say_ a certain twin owes a certain twin a favor. We can still go into town and everything will be okay. I promise." I took hold of her hand, in which she smiled immediately.

She enclosed her free hand over mind but her gaze didn't avert from me. The look she gave me was of pure joy; I didn't realize that by placing my hand over hers that I would be sending her the wrong signals. In my head _'crap!' _was running on its sixteenth circuit. A sharp clear of the throat ahead of us was enough to divert our gazes from each other to the owner of the rude, yet thankful, interruption. Kairi and I both immediately snatched our hands back and was met with the icy stare from Mr. Rime

"I am glad to see that both you and Miss. Mauve have settled on what ever love plans you have given yourself this Friday afternoon." Kairi blushed at the comment and almost went as red as her hair. If you thought Kairi was bad, you should have seen me. I could just feel the blood rushing to my cheeks.

"Sorry sir." We both said in unison.

Obviously, Mr. Rime wasn't satisfied with our apologies. "I am curious to know why you constantly treat my classroom as a social club. I assure you that we work scientifically in here, not sociably and I think that from our next science lesson, Miss. Mauve and yourself will not be seated together, is that correct?" his piercing green eyes stared deeply at us, making the pair of us feel uneasy.

"Yes sir," we both answered, reluctantly. I noticed one ice blonde brow raise itself in amusement before it went down again and his ever famous stoic expression was back. He turned on his heel and was back at the front of the classroom telling the rest of us what to do. Kairi refused to look at me and kept her gaze downwards.

We remained like that for the whole lesson; neither of us spoke a word to each other.

The bell rang for the second time whilst we were in the classroom, telling us that break was finally here and relieving me from another moment with _that man_! Kairi was the first of us two to depart the classroom in a hurry. All throughout the lesson, we could feel his gaze watching us, just waiting for us to continue talking, as we usually would, without a care. But for some reason, his little outburst to the whole class left Kairi embarrassed. Had he really hit a nerve?

I quickly scrambled all my things together and jogged out of the classroom to catch up with the wine redhead. The halls had soon been empty as the students went elsewhere to have their half hour break before lessons started again. I caught a glimpse of a tartan skirt and red hair before it turned in the other direction. I hurriedly ran to the retreating form and once I got to her, my hand caught hold of her elbow, stopping her instantly. She turned to look at, violet eyes fumed on a whirlwind of emotions.

"What's up Kairi? You could've waited for me you know? I know Vexen was out of order with what he said back there, but that's no reason to shut_ me _out." I told her. She kept her gaze solely on me for a few moments before she sighed.

"I know I'm sorry okay? I just can't stand it when I'm embarrassed, now that sir mention something about _love,_ people are going to talk you know? I can't stand it when people talk about me behind my back. I guess I just panicked…Sorry Sora." She looked down towards the ground until my hand, which was currently on her elbow, found its way to her shoulder where my thumb ran over it absentmindedly. A warm smile plastered itself amongst her equally warm features. "Thanks."

"For what?" I asked

"For always being there, I'm just so glad that we're friends Sora."

I removed my hand from her shoulder and placed it on my hip. "Best friends" I smiled and she linked our arms together. "Now let's go before Selph kills us. I'm already dreading the murderous things she could do to us for not being there to ignore Tidus."

"Let's go," She giggled and we started to jog to the field where the others were sitting.

Once we arrived to the field, we arrived to a pissed off looking Tidus, and an even more pissed off Selphie. With my free hand, I scratched the back of my neck sheepishly before saying, "Sorry we're late guys, Vex kept us behind." When neither of the death glares they sent our way banished, I tried a different approach. "So err, happy birthday Tidus, the big one seven eh?" My award winning cheesy smile was shut down the minute the glower didn't wane.

He "hmphed," and turned away.

"I'm… going to go and get everyone some juice." Kairi stated as she swiftly released her arm from mine, like a snake, and left me to deal with one miserable birthday boy and one hell of an actress. I managed to give her a glare, which she conveniently ignored, and walked on.

Tidus sat with his back leaning against the trunk of the tree whilst his knees were drawn up close to him; he stared out into the horizon looking half perplexed and half mad. Selphie sat to the left of him cross legged; her hands were clasped down together on her skirt so that nothing could be seen. I sat directly in front of her with my legs sprawled out in front of me, the heel of my shoe touching his briefly. Both blonde and brunette hair swung along to the rhythm of the wind, thankful for the shade.

"Tidus," I started, his blue orbs met my own but I could also feel a set of green on me too, "Come on it's your birthday, cheer up already."

The incredulous look he gave me would have been comical if the mood had not been so serious. "Cheer up? _Cheer_ up? For your seventeenth your dad took us to that great ski resort in Hollow Bastion, for Kairi's we went to that Theme Park on the other side of town, and don't _make_ me rant on about how awesome both Wakka's seventeenth _and_ eighteenth was." He argued. I wouldn't be surprised if there was blood and teeth marks from my bottom lip as I had to bite down _so hard_ not to even smile at his little outburst. "All I've gotten is: '_happy birthday Tidus! The big one seven eh?'_" he mimicked my voice from earlier. "Not even my mother said 'happy birthday' to me, _and_ she thought I was going away for the whole weekend. How bizarre is that?"

"Didn't you get any gifts?"

"Besides this stupid ball that I get every year from Wakka?" He pulled out the ball Wakka had earlier and chucked it lightly to me. I nodded my head "Then no."

"Hey! That ball is a token of my friendship!" we hear Wakka defend himself as he now entered in our deformed excuse of a circle and sat in front of Tidus who had resigned to closing his eyes and ignoring his best friends presence. "You get one every year from me, and just because you think its-" he put up his hands and made air quotation marks with his middle and index fingers "- '_stupid,'_ doesn't mean I'm gunna stop, ya? That is my tradition to you."

Kairi returned with the juices, as promised and in the space between Wakka and I. "I do appreciate the gift Wakka, Its just, everyone else here got to do something interesting on their birthdays, and here I am having to sit here in the blazing sun, in these crappy school uniforms, reminiscing about other peoples seventeenth, when I should be doing something for mine.

"Okay that's it!" Selphie said suddenly, finally contributing to the conversation. I almost forgot that she was even here for a while, and this whole thing is her idea. "I say we all go out to the cinema this evening." She turned to look at Tidus face on. "I know it's not ideal, but we're all broke and you're right, we should be celebrating your birthday! Who's with me!?" she raised her own hand high in the air, and Tidus brightened up a little.

"Really Selph?"

"Like I said it's your birthday, we'll watch something that _you_ want to watch and we'll do anything that _you_ say." She beamed and Tidus couldn't help but smile back. After their one second of staring at each other, the brightness on their faces doused as they saw the uncertain looks on all three of our faces.

"What?" they said in unison, although Selphie's sounded more like a whine.

Kairi was the first to speak, "Um, well, tonight I can't." Their faces dropped immediately "My grandmother is coming in from Radiant Garden and I _have_ to see her. My dad is _forcing _me to stay in at the weekend to attend to her every need." She rolled her eyes and drank some juice.

"Sora?" Tidus asked as he turned to look at me, realizing that Kairi was a lost cause. Just saying my name the way he did sounded almost like a plea. I could see the desperation written all over his face, and I felt bad for lying to him, but it would all work out in the end.

"Sorry Tidus, I really am. I have to stay at Leon's, my dad kinda bailed on me and Rox again."

"Come on Wakka, I know you can make it for me. You know, your _best friend_"

"I'm sorry brudda. Chappu is coming home for the weekend and… well; I promised I'll be there for him when he gets home this evening."

"You guys suck" he murmured as he crossed his arms over his chest like and slumped back against the wall like a little child sulking because they didn't get the thing they wanted. "Well at least I have Selphie, a_ real_ friend. Right Selph?"

"Right. We'll get ready at mine after school then go see whatever film you want." She smiled

"Thanks Selph." We didn't hear the bell ring because we were so far out from the school, but once we saw students walking into the campus we followed suit.

**: : **

You would think that the sound of pens clicking constantly, feet tapping to the beat of whatever song is going through bored minds and fingers drumming on the table to match would either annoy you or make you go crazy with anger. But for me, it was a harmonious against the sound of Miss. Runes boring lectures. Her first name is Lulu and we I see a lot of her as she is the current guardian Wakka. She's only twenty one and is currently engaged to Wakka's older brother Chappu. Wakka's parents died a couple of years ago and with Chappu being in the army, he was entrusted in Lulus care. It's just in school I have to call her Miss. Rune and have her for History. It's because she's like super smart and knows a load of stuff about… well everything that she got the job as a teacher so young.

And there was no denying the fact that she was _gifted_ in most areas of her body, which is why there was a large majority of boys taking her class. Every school has a teacher that either the girls deemed as 'hot' or the boys deemed as 'sexy', and in Destiny high, there was Lulu. She usually wore all black, but there were the odd occasions when she would wear grey. Her hair was black and very, very, _very,_ long and the clothes she wore would sometimes be a bit _too revealing_ which only turned the testosterone up a notch in the class.

But what most of the males failed to notice was behind all that gothic type beauty beheld a brain with knowledge like no other. Any other lesson, I would be listening intently to her words and making notes on whatever I could, but this particular lesson, I couldn't.

Riku was sitting in front of me.

Elegant strands of silver danced briefly with the wind that had opportunity to kiss it lightly every now and then. He wore a short sleeve white school shirt, revealing his pale muscles to the rest of the world. I could see his pen in between his index and middle fingers turn quickly, causing the tip of the pen and the back of the pen to swing from one to the other on the table like a see-saw. On an average day, I would of merely acknowledged his presence and gone on with the rest of the day, but the minute I walked through the door and caught a glimpse of those perfect teal eyes, flashes of my dream from earlier came flooding back, causing me to act the way I am now – a daydreaming mess.

I really don't why after all this time, after all these years, I'm having dreams about him _now_. We only see each other at school every now and then, if we're lucky. I don't even remember the last time I _actually_ spoke to him. It's got to be at least three or four years now. There used to be days when we were inseparable; we talked everyday, went with one another everyday and we basically used up all our free and non free time with each other. _Now_ we just don't speak to each other at all. I would give anything for him to just look at me, to at least acknowledge that fact that I still exist after all this time.

It's kind of funny when I think about it. He just stopped. He stopped coming to see me, stopped talking to me and the rest of the group, he just… just stopped. He just stopped being my best friend completely, but I don't hate him. I couldn't even if I wanted to; there has always been something about him that just doesn't put me off anything he does. It's just a shame that the feelings not mutual, I don't even know what I've done to make him hate me. Because I know he does, hate me that is, I just wish I could figure it out and make it up to him.

But that _dream_! It felt so real and so… so right. He seemed like he wanted it more than I did. Or was my subconscious mind playing tricks on me? Fooling me into believing that this – _I'm_ what he wanted. It's just, when I was with Riku, as friends, things seemed so simple, and everything was clean, there were no messy situations and we just allowed the world to do with us what it pleased.

I just wish things would go back to the way they were…

…When Destiny Islands used to feel like a home instead of a house.

"Sora, are you okay?" I heard a female voice ask me suddenly, bringing me out of my daze and thoughts. By now, near enough the whole class was looking at me as Miss. Rune knelt down to my level and was staring at me, concern replaced her usual stoic hazel eyes and I could feel the heat and blood rushing to my cheeks again. "You didn't answer me when I called you the first time and you're looking kind of pale. Would you like to go to the nurse's office?"

"I….Err…" I started then stopped to think about my options. "Sorry Lu- Miss. Rune, I don't feel too good, is it okay if I go to the nurse, please?" I lied. She nodded once then set off to write me a slip. I followed her to her desk, thanked her for the slip and then headed out for to see Nurse Gainsborough.

I don't know what is wrong with me or why I was feeling the way I was. It must be the heat and the unnecessary thick clothing on my skin. Honestly, what was Mr. Wise thinking when he set out our new school clothing rule? He even had the uniform with a note for our parents delivered to our houses and everything.

I walked down the long halls and noticed that Kairi was stuck doing a pop quiz in maths. The poor girl. She noticed my indiscrete chocolate spikes and she smiled a very small, but clear enough for me to see, smile my way. I waved to her and not before long, found myself at the door of everyone's favorite nurse. I didn't even get a chance to answer before the wooden door opened gently and I was met with an equally gentle smile.

"Sora, it's very nice to see you." She said as she saw my presence.

"Same here Aerith." I smiled back. She ruffled my hair a little before releasing a light giggle at the look I gave her and turning on her heel to let me in.

Aerith wasn't like other nurses, not one bit. She actually cared about us and didn't just send us back to our classes in stead of home, when we were genuinely ill. Not that anyone would want to try to pull the wool over her eyes. In fact forget that, not that anyone _could_ try and pull the wool over her eyes. With her natural maternal instincts and health qualifications, Aerith was a master at telling if people were faking their illness or not. Very few people tried, and those who did failed miserably. You would never of thought someone so innocent and forthcoming as Aerith would know how to put you to shame, but oh how she could.

It's the same thing with Selphie, you would of never expect cute little love struck Selphie to be able to trick people into doing what she wanted, and yet, all her plans turn out_ just_ the way she wants it.

The green eyed brunette sat on her side of the desk while I conveniently sat on the other side as she pulled put her medical book and noted my name down. I placed the note Lulu gave me on the desk, she read it then noted it in the book.

"So, what brings you down to my neck of the woods?" she asked me calmly. Her fingers entwined themselves together once she propped her elbows on the desk then rested her hands on the net she had mad with her digits. She cocked her head to the side, "you certainly don't look ill." She lifted her head of her hand and placed the back of it on my forehead. "You _are_ hot but I _know_ you don't have a temperature. So what's the matter?"

I turned my attention away from her and focused on the outside contents of the window behind me. "Well, I don't know. I've just had a lot on my mind lately and I guess it all got a bit too much for me in History. I didn't even realize that I zoned out until Lulu called me." I told her honestly. She nodded as if she understood, and I think that on some level, she did. Whenever you talk to Aerith about anything, she understands immediately and, although it may not always seem that way, always knows what to do. "I guess I just feel like I need some rest or something." She nodded once more.

"Okay, I'll tell you what," She started as she rose from her desk, "You go and lie down in the back room, you could also fall asleep if you wanted to. I'll have someone from your final lesson of the day come and get you for lunch. How does that sound?"

"That sounds… great Aerith, thanks."

"I'll let your teachers know that you won't be returning to lessons anytime soon. You can go back to them, but only when you feel like it okay?" I nodded once and we walked out of her office and into the room next to it. She entered in the pin code to open the door, and after four buttons were pressed, the door opened automatically and I was inside a medium sized room with four beds on one side, and another three opposite them. She walked me to the spare bed that was situated right underneath the window. The cool breeze hit me ever so lightly and cooling me down instantly. I sat down on the bed as Aerith began to leave. "I'll come in and check on you later. Rest well."

"Bye." I called out to her, but by the time I did, she was closing the door behind her, leaving me in the dingy room alone with my thoughts.

In all honesty I didn't even want to fall asleep. I just seriously needed to get away from that classroom, the people…Riku. He's the main reason why I refuse to fall asleep, if I have another one of those dreams with Aerith next door, I don't even want to imagine the look on either of our faces. Life right now sucks, but I need to pull it together. I've got to be there for Selphie, just a little bit of a rest would do.

I looked around the dim room and wondered why we still had it. I think it had something to do with Aerith not wanting children to over do it when we're at school. Professor. Wise wanted to convert this room into an extended office for Aerith, but she refused and said that our health is more important that a little bit more space. The head teacher argued that it was basically giving us a home instead of an education, Aerith obviously won the battle, but they had terms that they had to agree on. Such as, this room was only allowed to be used if students are _severely_ ill or light headed and rest is the only option away from home. Parents hated it when their children got sent home from school because they were ill. Also girls and boys were not allowed to be in here together and unsupervised. Aerith had managed to make this dark room look somewhat nice with the extra flowers and appropriate bed covers, but there was still something about this place that seemed wrong, seemed unclean.

The curtains started to flap violently against the wind, pulling me out of my thoughts. I closed them with ease and slumped back down onto the bed, I really didn't want to fall asleep, but I _was_ really tired, and the effects were showing. The more I tried not thinking about sleep, the more I was being lured to it by the second, until my tired body finally gave in, and I was drowning in my dreams.

**: : **

"_Can I just wait in the back room? I really can't be bothered to go back to class. _"

"_Yes, but there is another student in there…_"

"_Don't worry, I'll be quiet. Thanks again Aerith._"

**: :**

I didn't sleep for long. I think it was the constant paranoia that kept building up in me that allowed me just over an hours sleep. I woke up with languid eyes darting straight to my watch, I've missed just over twenty minutes of my fourth lesson: English. I yawned quite loudly and stretched my limbs out in all places, until I heard a shuffling noise from across the room, that is. I froze immediately; the noise came from the beds opposite me and to the left. Am I really that much of a heavy sleeper that I didn't hear anyone come in? I was just so damned grateful that I didn't have one of _those_ dreams again. The only reason why I hadn't actually looked at the person ahead of me was purely because I was lying down and the fact that I knew I had been snoring in my sleep. Aerith just _had_ to send someone in while _I_ was sleeping, didn't she?

"Sora, you awake?" A male voice whispered to me. Well obviously this person knew who _I_ was, but I couldn't place a face to the voice.

After a couple of moments of trying to think of who it was, I replied. "Yeah, have you come to take me back to class?" I asked and yawned at the same time,

There was a light chuckle, "Not exactly."

My eyebrows drew together in consternation and I leaned up on trembling elbows to see who this person was.

Son of a –

"Riku?" He was leaned up against the side of the bed with his arms folded gracefully over his pale muscles - Wait, why wasn't he wearing a shirt? Can this day get any worse? Here I am, looking like a mess, while he's over there looking quite hot, with his perfect upper body revealed to the world. Are the Gods out for me today or something? Riku is the main reason why I couldn't stay in History, so how is putting me in a room full of beds going to help? He kept his teal eyes fixed solely on my azure, probably waiting to see what my reaction to his presence would be. Mentally I was freaking out, but I couldn't let him know that. "What are you doing here? Are you sick?" I tried so hard to keep my voice from shaking, to keep it from wavering.

"No, five minutes into science and your brother had to break up a fight between Hayner and that new guy with red hair in my grade. I just about managed to step through the door before one of them accidentally punched my nose and made it bleed. It got all over my school shirt, so Aerith is looking into getting me a new clean one to wear."

"For Gods sake Roxas," I murmured under my breath. No doubt he's in trouble with the rest of the two. I bet he's sitting outside of the Professors office right now. Oh well, I'm sure he'll get out of it, he usually does. "I'm so sorry Riku, are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fine So." How long has it been since I heard my childhood nickname? He drummed his fingers along his arms and chest and turned his gaze away from me, creating an awkward silence in its wake. I was sick of this. Sick of the silence and sick of him not talking to me. Just what was his problem? He can't even be bothered to have a conversation with me and it was killing me. He may be able to forget about the friendship we once had, but I won't. I just have to think of a good enough way to get him to talk. _Now_ what would Selphie do? Then it hit me.

"Did Roxas even apologize to you?" I asked him. He shook his head but still avoided eye contact. "I'll make him apologize to you. Don't worry."

"No, Sora, Its okay. I don't even think it was Roxas, I think it was that new Axel guy anyways."

"All the more reason for you to get an apology." I told him firmly. "I'm going to go back to English now okay?" I didn't wait for a response and instead made my way to the door. The door isn't locked inside so I opened the door with ease and stopped through the frame, "Look, we're having a surprise party for Tidus today at my house; if you want to come it starts about nine-ish. You could get your apology then."

"Sora-"

"We miss you Riku." I cut in and walked off back to Aerith's office. I could hear the door slam shut behind me and I could only hope that it added to the affect that I was going for, the whole 'guilt trip' thing. Hopefully he'll turn up.

Hopefully.

**: : **

**AN;** Wow. Well there you have it. This is my fist fic so pleeease R&R! I didn't really have time to go over it, so if there are any mistakes please don't hesitate to tell me XD. Also, I have no set plan for this story, so all suggestions are welcome XD. Cookies and love go out to whoever can tell me where I got the name for my title.


	2. Open Hearts

**Hopelessly I'll Love You Endlessly**

**Chapter Two**

**Open Hearts**

After school, Kairi and I went into town.

Our main objective was to get decorations and such for the party this evening. I already spoke to Roxas at school and forced him to get the house sorted out for tonight alongside with his little gang, Wakka and most likely Axel. He had explained the whole situation about the fight to me when I saw him at lunch, and it appears that Axel and Hayner have set aside their differences for one night. I didn't tell the blonde about me speaking to Riku, in fact, I haven't told any one. Probably because I _know_ that if I get my hopes up too much and start talking to everyone about it, I'll be let down and it would get the best of me.

After all, it wouldn't be the first time.

It was just after six pm and I was waiting for Kairi in one of the small café's. We split up earlier so that we could get a variety of things and keep to time. Because of my incapability to ever buy a decent gift for anyone, Kairi decided that that would be her job whilst I got the decorations, food and plastic cups and plates. Even though I _knew_ that no one was going to use them, but alas, Kairi has her persuasive ways. I told the wine redhead to make sure that she gets two separate gifts so that it looks like we got him one each. Selphie had made it very clear what time we were meant to be back by, and what time the two would be arriving. My fingers tapped impatiently on the side of my coffee cup, just where was that girl?

Kairi did say that she has another surprise for us when Tidus arrives, but she wouldn't even let _me_ know what it was. I'm pretty sure it's something good though, if it's taking her _this _long, it better be worth it. Whilst waiting for her, I couldn't help but think about what would happen if my dad turned up. Knowing me, I would probably try and sugar coat the whole party situation with some bogus stories about time travel and aliens, whereas Roxas would tell the truth and get into an argument with my dad about responsibilities and what not. Sometimes I envy Roxas, he doesn't care what anyone thinks and if he has an opinion he _will_ tell you to your face, and he _won't _hold back. I could never be so bold and dominant with my thoughts and judgment, although in some scenarios, I wish I was. I guess that if I was like that, it would take away the beauty of our differences.

Kairi arrived at the café at about half past six, I had been waiting since quarter to and Selphie had warned us to be back at my house ready for seven.

Girls really are a chore. This is the last time I go shopping with just a female.

Kairi held about four bags on each wrist, definitely putting me to shame with only three. The wine redhead was struggling to get through the narrow door and I instinctively rose from my seat to help her. She looked worn out of her face and I couldn't help but wonder what it was that she brought. I grabbed two bags from each hand, leaving us with a fair amount to carry back to our table. Once we were seated I ordered a bottle of water for Kairi to drink while we walked back towards the cab station, but as usual, the wine red head had other plans. Kairi was slacked backwards in her chair, bags surrounding our whole table and made it an obstacle for me to get through to be seated. I settled the plain drink in front of her. "Come on Kairi, you can rest once we get back to my place." I told her as I made an attempt to pick the bags that were closest to me.

She sighed deeply. "Look, we don't _have_ to be there at _precisely_ seven do we? We'll just say that we got caught in traffic or something." Kairi didn't move from her slackened position, and I knew that it was going to take some real motivation to get her moving.

"Yeah you're right. I mean, if its coming up to seven now, and people will be arriving by about nine, that gives you plenty of time to do your hair, make-up, sort out what your wearing, make sure that everything matches, make-"

"Okay, okay, let's get going." She said as she gathered all her bags again, grabbed her drink and walked out of the café; I followed right behind her to make sure she wouldn't fall over with that entire extra luggage.

By the time we got in the taxi, it was already quarter to seven. We had fifteen minutes to get back to my house and it was a twenty five minute drive away. Great.

Kairi and I sat in the back surrounded by bags. "So, Kairi what did you actually buy? I mean, surely we didn't get eight different presents and a poster for Tidus now did we?"

"Sora sweetie, the first thing you should know when going shopping with a female then leaving her to do it by herself: she will never, I repeat _never_, buy only what she was meant to."

"I'll commit it to memory." I told her dully. My hand found its way to one of the bag in between my feet. "So, what _did_ you say you brought again?"

"I didn't." she slapped my hand away and looked at me smugly. "But seeing as you're just _dying_ to know, I got him two separate gifts from both me and you, I brought myself a new outfit for this party, there was these cute nail varnishes and matching eyeliners on sale so I just _had _to get them and they'll go with what Selphie is wearing tonight.-"

"You know what Selphie's wearing?"

"Well obviously! We _are_ girls and girls tell each other everything. Besides, not even Selphie knows what she's wearing; I picked her outfit out when I went shopping."

"I see. Oh and what is this surprise birthday present you brought but you couldn't tell me about because you forgot but you're ready to now?" I finished with a cheesy smile, hoping that she didn't piece together my words and pick up on what I wanted to hear. She gave me an incredulous look, evidently not falling for my pathetic endeavour.

"Nice try. You're going to have to wait." She stated and that was the end of our conversation. We spent the rest of the journey lost in our own thoughts with the taxi's radio soothingly playing in the background. It wasn't an awkward silence we were submitted to, but more of a thoughtful one. I, for one, was excited for this party. I could just imagine the look on Tidus' face when he saw everyone there. Tonight was going to be a good night, I could just tell.

Soon after, we were parked outside my house and Kairi was racing into my house, leaving me to pay the driver. She's been hanging around with Selphie _way_ too much. I paid the man with a tip and was, too, running to my house. "I call shower!" Kairi's voice cut through the mild silence in the house as she raced herself upstairs. She had taken all eight bags with her whilst mine stayed lonely at the bottom of the stairs.

"I'll just work then shall I?" I shouted. I knew she heard me once I heard her infamous giggle, then the bathroom door shut.

Sighing in defeat, I made my way to the living room where Roxas' friends, Hayner and Olette, were talking. Well judging by the raise in their voices, I would say that they were arguing, but it all seemed to cease the minute I walked through the door. I felt kind of rude interrupting their little conversation, but I needed them at the moment. "Err, hey guys." I rubbed the back of my neck sheepishly; they both gave me hard stares. I guess they _were_ arguing. "We got the stuff to decorate the house with. Would guys be able to help me out with them?" Olette gave Hayner a harsh glare before turning back to me with a fake smile.

"Sure. I'll be glad to." She walked past me and went to the bags, leaving me alone in the room with Hayner. Hayner looked pissed off to say the least, I'm guessing today isn't his day.

"Hayner, would you be able to sort out the food please? I brought snacks and stuff; they're all in the blue bags by the stairs." He stood from the couch and walked straight past me, hopefully he'll do it. But I'm not holding my breath. On the way to the kitchen, I heard a mixture of voices coming from my dad's office. Curiously I opened the unlocked door, only to be met with Roxas sitting on my dad's chair with his back leaning against one arm of the chair and his legs dangling over the opposite one, whilst Axel was rummaging around my dads CD collection at the back of the room... They hadn't seen me yet

"There's no point in looking at those, you're not going to find anything interesting. My dad's music is all crap and backdated."

"There's gotta be must be _something _decent enough to play."

"Good luck looking." He sighed. "We'll just wait for Pence to come around with his equipment and stuff."

"Can you really see Pence being a DJ?" Axel asked him incredulously, causing my brother to chuckle lightly.

Its kind of weird, after the two days Roxas has been with Axel they seem really close. So I can see why he and Hayner haven't exactly been seeing eye to eye. I wonder if Roxas knows that Hayner is feeling neglected a little, with any luck he does and they can sort this whole mess out. I would hate to have to see them two break up after being best friends for so long.

"Come on," Roxas said as he arose from my dad's chair, "Sora'll kill me if he thought-"

"-That you were being a lazy ass?" I interjected, causing both pair of blue and green to my direction. Roxas stared at me with wide eyes while Axel wore a smug grin as he wrapped an arm around my brother's shoulders and pulled him close to him.

It wasn't until now that I actually realized how much taller Axel was to Roxas. The flamboyant red head wore a black T-shirt, with tight black trousers, ringed and looped by a belt that was almost as bright as his hair. Almost. The pair of red and black chequered Vans complimented his outfit tremendously and I couldn't help but wonder if he had dressed this way on purpose. Instead of covering himself with luminous colours to get himself recognized more, he wore mainly black with the small amount of red being shown every now and then and because he's a new student, it creates a type of mysterious look with an edge. Well for the girls it does anyway.

Roxas, who struggled to get out of the redheads hold, was dressed in a baby blue button up shirt. Naturally, he left the first couple of buttons from atop undone, revealing a white undershirt. Accompanied with the tops was a pair of navy blue jeans and white converses. I, on the other hand no clue what I was wearing, but all I knew was that Kairi better get out of the shower soon, I will not be killed by Selphie because I didn't make this party for Tidus perfect.

"I was _not_ lazing about," Roxas defended as he started walking over to me, "I merely got distracted by this thing." He pointed over at Axel who in return mocked a sad look on his face and walked over to Roxas and I, "and he obviously misplaced my priorities elsewhere."

"You cut me deep Roxy." Axel stated and placed a hand over his heart.

A chocolate brow rose in amusement "Roxy?" I asked, completely ignoring the glare that Roxas sent both myself and Axel.

"I told you not to call me that." He poked Axel playfully before turning his attention back to me. "And don't even _think_ about adopting that name either. I know how you are with nicknames." He warned

I laughed, "It's not my fault!" I defended, "and besides I think 'Roxy' is a cute name" I smiled broadly.

"See Roxy," Axel said as he put his lean arms around his shoulder again, only this time Roxas didn't try to pull away, "Even your brother likes the name." he winked at me before squeezing one of Roxas' cheeks between his index finger and thumb, "And I think its adorable" he said mock – baby voice. Roxas immediately batted his hands away; his cheeks flushed a deep red. It looked like he was blushing at Axels words, but it could just of been the intrusion of Axels slender fingers grip on his cheeks.

"So, was there something you wanted Sora?" The blonde asked me, trying to avoid anymore of our torment against him.

"Yeah actually, Olette needs help with hanging decorations and Hayner needs help with the food." I noticed that Axel and Roxas exchanged looks between each other.

Roxas sighed, "I'll help out with the food, I am _not_ breaking up another fight and I guess I kinda need to speak to Hayner anyways." he suggested and walked out of the room.

"So you'll help out with the decorations right? Olette may not be tall enough to reach all the high places, so it's a good thing that you have height." I smiled warmly and Axel returned the gesture with his own. I nodded and was about to walk off before his voice stopped me in my tracks.

"Sora?" I turned around to look at him, his olive eyes seemed different this time… they looked concerned. "Sora, I know it's only been two days or whatever, but I don't want you to think that I'm dangerous around your brother or anything."

I waved my hands frantically at him, "Don't worry Axel, I don't think that at all. I know Hayner can be a hard ass at times, and I guess it ain't easy when you've got to go to a new school and everything." Axel chuckled lightly. "If you don't mind me asking Axel, why _have_ you come to Destiny High? You've only got two more weeks left at school."

Axel looked hesitant for a moment; his eyes briefly flickered around the room as he scratched the back of neck sheepishly. "Erm…Well…"

"You don't have to tell me, you know, I shouldn't have pried."

"No its okay," he sighed. "It's just… okay, when I was living in Radiant Garden, I got in some trouble. Quite a lot of trouble actually, and it eventually got me kicked out of school. Things weren't going great at home either and my best friend decided that it was time for me to change and begin a new. So I came here."

I nodded as I slowly took in Axel's words. "Does Roxas know this?" I asked him quietly, just in case someone was listening on the other side and Axel didn't want anyone to hear.

The redhead pushed himself forward from the side of my dad's desk and stretched. "Nooope," he half said half yawned then walked past me. "And I don't think he should, not yet anyways." He patted my shoulder then walked out of room.

Truth be told, I really didn't mind Axel. Sure he looked somewhat edgy and daring, with those tattoo's plastered on his face and an attitude like fire – untameable, but he genuinely did seem like a good guy, at least he was to Roxas anyways. To me, that was the most important thing, as long as Roxas was happy with him, which he obviously was, then I'm happy with him.

"Sora you lazy bum!"

I turned around, only to be met with sparkling violet eyes and gleaming white teeth as I did so. Kairi stood leaning against the door. The wine redhead was wearing a silky baby pink dress with a stretchy black belt wrapped around her thin abdomen. To accompany her belt, she wore black tights and a pair of bright red shoes. Kairi looked utterly amazing, despite not having done her make-up yet. "Kairi, you look great." I told her.

She blushed at my words and held a hand over her mouth as she giggled, "Thanks, I would say the same thing about you but…" she trailed off as eyed me up and down.

Right. I was still in my school uniform.

"Now that miss 'even-though-I-don't-live-here-I'm-still-going-to-steal-your-bathroom' has finally exited herself out of _my_ shower, I think I'll finally go and get ready for this party." I smiled broadly at her and waited for her to stop her fit of giggles.

Once she finally regained composure, she spoke. "Remember Sora," she stated as she pointed and shook a finger at me, "friends always ask before they use something of one another's." I rolled my eyes; I've heard this expression so many times from this girl. "But-"

"Best friends do it without asking." I said in unison with Kairi as she giggled again.

"And don't you forget it." She smiled

"Don't worry, I won't." I left the room and Kairi followed suit. "Not that I could anyway." I mumbled incoherently

"What was that?" she asked me, her voice sounded amused. I think she heard me.

"Nothing, nothing at all." I smiled cheekily and continued to walk on. I made my way to the stairs with absolutely no hassle; no one called me and summoned me for anything. I turned around to see that Kairi was still looking and following me. "Where's Wakka?" I asked her, hopefully making her want to turn into the other direction.

"He's helping Pence bring all the music and lights equipment over. Well that's what Hayner told me anyway."

I looked at my watch, pretending to read the time. "Could you do me a really big fav Kai?" I didn't wait for a reply, "Would you be able to call Pence for me and tell him that he has to be in less than twenty minutes. Or it will be _he_ who gets castrated please?"

"Sure can do." She held her thumbs up at me and turned on her heel; I did the same and went for my shower.

**: :**

After my refreshing shower, (a hot one this time) I dressed myself in a short sleeved blue t-shirt and a pair of black trousers to match. Unlike some people, I couldn't care less about what I wore to the party. I didn't get downstairs until quarter to nine and already the place looked different. It looked ready for a party. There was confetti on the floor leading from the hallway to every other room downstairs. Decorations hung from walls to walls and ceilings to ceilings. I made my way to the dinner room, where our oversized family table was filled with sandwiches, crisps, snacks and fizzy drinks.

As much as I didn't want to face the truth, there was going to be alcohol. Somehow, someone always manages to bring the drunken goodness to these kinds of parties and the next thing you know, everyone's making out with each other and dancing like no ones watching. Now I'm not going to lie and say that I don't drink when I'm at a party or anything, because I do, it's just when _Kairi _drinks I have to be wary about how much I do.

Kairi has a tendency to act a bit crazy once she's had a few. Last time, she nearly got in a fight with a man with blue hair who was almost twice our age and height. Fortunately for her, someone safely took her back to the party, though who he was we do not know. She was too drunk to remember and I was no where in sight at the time. Tidus and Wakka can handle their drinks carefully but Selphie can be a hyper harmless mess.

Everyone was in the living room, with a few extra people than before. Axel was helping Pence sort out all of his music equipment. Pence has been always up-to-date with anything electrical and a mastermind with computers, but his main passion had always been photography. I noticed a couple of disposable cameras seated on the couch next to Hayner, and two digital cameras around Pence's neck.

Something vibrated in my back pocket; I picked out my phone, and read the text that Selphie had sent me.

_We've just left the movies and are on our way to get something to eat._

_There's been a delay at the train station so that should give u an xtra 20 mins._

_I'll text you when we're on the street to your house._

_Don't let me down Sora! D_

_Selphie x_

"Okay guys, Selph said that they are going to be late and back here just after ten." I announced. "People will start arriving soon, so Pence how is that music coming along?"

"Almost there, I just need to plug in this extension cord in to my laptop, and then we are good to go." He called back to me.

"Roxas, is everything valuable hidden?" he nodded his answer and held his thumb up to me. "Kairi, are the presents wrapped?" I asked her.

"Well, I thought that you might want to wrap them with me, I left them on the small table in the kitchen." She got up from being seated between Hayner and Roxas and made her way into the kitchen. I heard that annoying whistle sound someone does when they think someone's 'hot' and immediately assumed it was Axel, though there was noting I could do as I was being forced into another room.

Kairi had wrapping paper, bows, tape, scissors and two presents splayed out on the kitchen table. "Kairi, you know I'm not good at these sorts of things, I'll end up cutting into the gift and my own fingers if you had left it up to me."

She rolled her eyes. "That's why I'm not." I looked her in bewilderment, causing the auburn haired teen to roll her eyes once more. "I just wanted to talk and spend some time with you before the party, that's all." She smiled warmly at me before she made an attempt with wrapping up the first gift. I didn't say anything to her and I waited for her to start up a conversation. "Do you think…" she started "…That it's going to be weird that our group now has a couple?"

Her gaze kept solely on the task at hand, and I pulled up a stool in front of her, knowing that this was going to be one of those 'I'm-trying-to-drop-hints-that-I-like-you-' conversations. I've known for a while now that Kairi likes me more than a friend, I just never actually done anything about it. Don't get me wrong, I love Kairi to bits, we've been best friends ever since we six years old and rarely ever argue. _But _there's also this feeling I have for her, a feeling that screams to me that we are best friends… and that's all and nothing more. The more I listen to this feeling, the more I come to terms with the fact that I love her as a sister. I'm mostly afraid that I'll break her heart, Kairi has had a few boyfriends in the past, and they have either been jerks, or she deemed them as not right for her. I didn't want to be any of them; I just wanted to be friends.

"Sora?" she called out to me softly, her voice hinting concern like Lulu's did earlier.

"Sorry, I just got caught up in my thoughts." I answered truthfully.

"Well?"

"It's kind of weird when I think about it, but I know Selphie and Tidus won't do anything to make us feel uncomfortable or anything."

"What about Wakka? He and Tidus are like stuck together like glue."

"Well," I tapped my chin thoughtfully, "I think Wakka understands that his best friend needs to move on. I know that when Tidus gets a girlfriend, he usually blows 'em off for Wakka, but I think that for this relationship things will be different."

"They sure will," she said sadly as she as the final touches to the first beautifully wrapped present.

"Something wrong?"

"It's just… Wakka leaves in a couple of weeks for college, Tidus and Selphie are getting together, and you and I…" she paused as I cocked my head to the side, then a stressed sigh released from her lips. "It's just that things are changing pretty fast, and I'm scared..." another pause "I'm scared that I'll get left behind."

Not once has she looked at me since we entered the kitchen, but I could tell she was hurting and genuinely concerned. This has probably been bugging her for months and she's only decided now to tell me. "Kairi," I called to her, and when the wine redhead showed no sign of looking at me, I walked around the table to the opposite side where the sad teenager stood. "Kai?" I tried again, this time I got a glimpse of those sad violet orbs before they landed back onto the second wrapped gift. I sighed. "Look, I know that things are changing and people are moving on, but, I assure you Kairi, I won't." I grabbed hold of both of her soft hands, causing her to look me in the eyes. "I promise." I stared at her firmly, letting her know that I was serious.

Even though I knew it was only seconds, it felt like an eternity and a day at how long our gazes remained fixated on another's. I only managed to blink once, before I felt a pair of lustrous lips peck mine for a whole four seconds, then one on my cheek that lasted only a second, before I was being pulled into a reassuring embrace with her arms around my neck. "Thank you Sora." She said breathily on my neck

Shocked doesn't even come close to what I was feeling.

I was too surprised to reply or _do_ anything. I knew Kairi could feel my tension, and as she pulled back a little to look at me, I wrapped my arms around her waist. I couldn't look into her eyes, I was too afraid at what I would see reflecting back at me. I felt her relax backwards into the hug.

If there was anytime a cliché moment should appear, it should be now. I wish that someone, would knock on the door, or someone (like Axel) would rudely interrupt this awkward moment with a sly comment: anything to get some distance from this emotional teenager right now. Once I realized that I wasn't going to get it, I had to make my own way out. "Kairi? I have to make one quick phone call, but I'll be back soon kay?"

She pulled away from me, albeit reluctantly, and allowed me to go. I tried not to, but I couldn't help but jog out of the room, not waiting for a response from the wine redhead or even a glimpse. I know she probably feels rejected right now, but I'm too nervous to speak to her. Great, the one day I didn't want Kairi to drink too much alcohol and I freaking go and do the one thing that'll probably tip her over the edge.

Just freaking perfect.

I ran upstairs to my dad's room, glad and mad to find it was unlocked. I was glad because I knew it was most likely the one room in the house that no one would go looking for me in, and mad because I told Roxas to lock it. I mean come on, in a matter of minutes our house is going to be filled with horny teenagers – no scratch that – horny _drunk_ teenagers, and if an available queen size bed all the way upstairs doesn't sound doesn't sound tempting to them, then I don't know what does. I plopped down on the bed and screamed lightly into one of my dads cushiony pillows.

After letting it all out, I turned around so that I was lying on my back and facing the ceiling. Why do things have to be so complicated? Why cant things ever be normal for me? I feel like I'm the star of my own high school drama. Sadly this is not some TV programme, this is my life, and everyone around me are not actors but people. People who I have grown to love, people I have grown to trust, and people whose heart I may break if I slip up and tell them the truth. But doesn't Kairi deserve the truth? How will I come out and say it? '

Hey Kairi, sorry I can't be with you but it's only because I love you like a sister – oh and I'm having these sexual dreams about me and Riku. You know Riku who is a guy and someone we haven't spoken to in years. Yeah, that one.

I can't even begin to tell you how much I have thought about him today. It's been like this since he spoke to me earlier today. It's like every second that someone's not talking directly at me; he's talking to me in my head with that deep, smooth sexy – NO! I will not start thinking about him now. I can't, I have to help everyone sort out the party. The second my feet touched the smooth cream coloured carpet, I could feel base vibrating from the ceilings downstairs to the floorboards upstairs. _Finally_ some music, now it felt like this could finally start being a party.

There are four bathrooms in our house, three upstairs (We all have our own bathroom) and one downstairs. I made it very clear that every room upstairs should be locked, especially the bathrooms. People have a tendency to throw up and write a whole bunch of crap on our walls and mirrors. You don't even want to _know_ the state of Wakka's bathrooms when he had his party. I made sure that every single door was locked before I made my way downstairs, where there were even more people than last time I checked. I estimated that in total so far, there must at least be seventeen people, probably more.

**: :**

By half past nine, the party was in full motion. As I expected, people none of us knew showed up, looking to get drunk out of their faces and dance themselves silly. Music was blasting itself the living room, to every other room in the house. It's times like this when I'm grateful that we live in a detached house and away from other residents. I don't even want to imagine what would happen if they decided to come knocking. There were people flirting with each other through all the hallways while others danced themselves in the living and dinner room. Hardly anyone had touched the food, but I could see that all the drinks had been devoured and consumed by the hyper teenagers.

I tried to avoid Kairi as much as possible. She was in the living room dancing with one of her friends, Naminé, so I decided to stay with my friend, a sugar cane, in the kitchen. A few people came up and spoke to me, telling me that they love what I have done with the place, and asking me where the bathroom is. I hadn't encountered anyone who was drunk yet, but I knew that I would soon.

Hayner came in a few moments later, looking a lot happier than he had done recently. He walked over to me with a huge grin plastered on his face. "Great party!" he shouted over the music, "You doing okay? You seem a little bummed out."

I smiled. "No, I'm fine. Just having a little female trouble, that's all."

He rolled his eyes. "Tell me about it. Ever since Axel came into the picture, all and Olette and I do is argue. And it's only been two days." He took a sip of his drink. "I don't know what it is, but whenever I'm around him, or see them two together, I get all mad and stuff."

"Who… Olette and Axel? Or Roxas and Axel because you seem to be…?"

"The latter." I nodded in understanding and rolled my hand at him, prompting him to go on. "It's like, I know its only been two days and all, but Axel has this factor about him that really ticks me off, and whenever Roxas is around him, its like, he's leaving me for him and we're the ones who are supposed to best friends ya know? Not them two." He finished his drink in one pig gulp and I couldn't help but wonder what was actually in that little red cup.

"So it's jealousy." I couldn't read the expression that one his face once I said that, but I continued on none the less. "You're jealous because you think your best friend doesn't love you anymore, so you're lashing out and being grumpy at anyone who comes your way."

He looked at me; I could see bewilderment and shock lingering in his eyes. "How do you know-?"

I cut him of by waving my hand dismissively at him. "Trust me, I speak from experience." He handed me a drink and I gulped the goodness down. Coke and Rum, great, I'm already having a drink and the guest of honour isn't even here yet. "The only difference is _your_ best friend will stick with you no matter what." I finished and braced myself for the unfamiliar taste.

Hayner looked like he was about to say something, but stopped the minute a slender hand gently tapped his shoulder behind him. It was Olette. She whispered something in his ear before smiling at me softly and turned back on her heel. "Sorry Sora, Gotta go." He stated as he arose from the stool he was sitting on. "And thanks." Before I could even form a reply he was worming his way through a sea of people to the direction Olette previously went to.

I finished the rest of my drink, and went into the back garden to cool down a bit, and hopefully get some of that peace and silence I have been craving for all day. Unfortunately that wasn't going to happen, I could tell, as I walked in on a couple making out with each other. The girl, who was currently pinned against the wall, opened her brown eyes and saw my retreating form. She quickly slapped the guy who was kissing her and made her way back inside the house. The guy still had his back towards me, but I could tell he was confused, quickly went after the girl, leaving me alone in the silence of the outdoors.

There's no point denying the fact that my family is rich, so it should hardly surprise you when I say that from my back yard I get a clear view of the beach. My dad is a lawyer, and just like most lawyers from our side of town, he advertises himself in places that actually have a lot of crime such as Traverse Town and Hollow Bastion. It used to bother me that I couldn't see my dad as much as I would have liked to, but I guess that now that I'm older, it could work to my advantage. Such as today, It couldn't of been more of a perfect timing for him to go away and attend to what ever 'business' he has to.

I stared out at the ocean, though it was not completely visible due to the dark of the night. If I was on the balcony from Roxas' room I would be able to see it more clearly and also get a fantastic view of the islands that we used to play on when we were younger. Though, I still go there sometimes on my own for sentimental reasons. Those were days when everything was near enough to perfect. Then things had to… things had to change. I guess this is what part of growing up is all about.

It sucks.

I could have stared out into the glistening ocean all day if it wasn't for the annoying vibrating feeling coming from the back pocket of my jeans. Great, a new text from Selphie, and three missed anonymous calls.

_Why do you never answer my calls?_

_We're about two minutes away from your house_

_So make sure everything's perfect_

_Selphie x_

I practically sprinted back inside the house and into the living room. I took the headphones from atop Pence's ears and halted the music completely, there were two microphones and I grabbed one of them and began to speak. A loud mumble of groans rose from the house once the music stopped, but this was _way_ more important. "Everyone who doesn't know, this is a surprise birthday party, and the guy is like literally a minute away. Everyone needs to get inside, be quiet and turn all the lights off." I announced.

In a matter of seconds, all the lights were switched off in the house and people were crouching down on the ground so that they did not cast any shadows, or because they were drunk and thought that this was some type of game. I asked Pence to quickly go and make sure that there was no evidence of a party on my front lawn. He returned moments later and gave me the 'a-okay' sign.

In all this time, I wondered what Selphie had said to Tidus to make him actually get to my door. I told him that I was staying with Leon, so what possible reason could she have to come to my house. Then I realized this was Selphie we are talking about, she could make you believe that bread was fish cakes if she wanted to. I remained crouched down by my front door; there was still a mass of mumbling going on so I had to force a loud "sssshhhh!" to exit my mouth. Then I heard Tidus' whiney voice.

"_Why do we even have to be here? I thought he said that he had to go to Leon's." _He asked her.

"_I've told you already, he came back quickly to give me the keys in person, just to make sure the house was okay whilst he's gone."_

Like I said, the girl is good.

"_Yeah well, I'm not going to be happy with him, so don't expect me to be." _He stated, Selphie sighed.

There was a knock on my door; naturally, I waited a couple of second before I opened it.

"Hey Selph, Tidus, thanks so much for doing this for me, you have no idea how grateful I am for this."

Selphie smiled. "No problemo!"

"You okay Tidus? You seem a bit -"

"I'm fine," he cut me off. "Can we just hurry this up? I haven't even spoken to my mom to tell her I'll be out."

I had to try so hard not to laugh. It's very rare when we see Tidus pissed off at something, and whenever he is, it's like the funniest thing in the world. "Sure," I scratched the back of my neck nervously, "It's just this way into the living room." I turned around and began to walk into that direction, with the two following suit.

Because there was no actual door for the living room, the second I was in between the frame that separates it from the hallway, I cleared my throat to indicate that this was the room we were coming into. Selphie pulled Tidus back briefly to tell him to "be nice," giving me time to stand with my back flushed against the wall where the light switch was so that they he could enter and see everything with ease.

I could hear their footsteps, slowly approaching the room I was waiting in. The house was surprisingly completely silent and the I only thing I could hear was my own heart beating with anticipation, and how many steps it would take before they actually reached here.

_Three… two……two and a half…one-_

I flicked on the lights the minute I saw his and Selphie's bodies enter in the room.

On cue with the lights a mixture of "TIDUS, SURPRISE, CONGRATULATIONS, HAPPY BIRTHDAY and FINALLY!" erupted from my house, and killed the deafening silence.

The look on Tidus was absolutely comical. It was like he was trying to mix excitement, happiness, surprise and general overwhelmness (if that's even a word) in one big facial expression. Luckily for me and everyone else, it's a sight none of us will be forgetting, with the flashing of cameras angling themselves at his direction.

Pence cued on the music, and we saw Tidus give Selphie a sweet kiss on the lips before pulling her into a tight embrace. Out of nowhere, Wakka erupted from the crowd and joined into the hug, prompting Kairi and myself to as well. Once we pulled apart for air, and decided that we had crushed Tidus enough, his broad smiled triggered one from all of us. "You did this for me?"

"Selphie nodded, we wanted you to have a great seventeenth, we've all been planning this for weeks." She smiled and he kissed her again. Kairi squeed and dragged her upstairs for them to finalize each other for this fantastic night.

Because that's what today was going to be, Riku or not, this night is about Tidus and I plan for us all to enjoy it.


	3. Piece Of Pie

**Hopelessly I'll Love You Endlessly**

**AN:**I promised myself that I wouldn't dwell too long for the party, so I plan to get that all finished in this chapter. In all honesty, I wanted to get it finished last chapter, but by the time I was still writing the end part, I realised that it was twelve pages already and that they needed to be posted then before I made one chapter seem like a weeks worth of pages all strewn together.

**Chapter Three**

**Piece of Pie**

I think… I think I might be drunk.

It was bordering one in the morning, and people were still dancing, including myself, like there was no tomorrow. I felt the need to grab a drink either every time Kairi made an attempt to talk to me, or when I kept thinking about Riku. Not all the drinks I had were alcoholic, although, the majority of them were.

To satisfy the vast mainstream of people's cravings, we played all sorts of music. There were slow songs, fast songs, rock songs, rap songs etc and I danced to them all. I couldn't help it, it was like I was the puppet and the music was my master, using its strings of alcohol to force me to dance and nearly lose all rational thought. I wasn't drunk, not yet, but who knows what would happen if I saw the wine redhead or thought about teal eyes.

This is his entire fault when I think about it. If it wasn't him for being in my dream _then _out of sheer dumb luck appearing in the same room I just so happened to be in, then he wouldn't be consuming the space I reserved for thoughts in my head. I would be able to help Kairi, congratulate Selphie and Tidus and celebrate with Wakka, speaking of which, I haven't seen any of them for a little while now. I shrugged it off, deciding that they were all probably having fun somewhere else.

Dance music has always been the floor filler no matter what, so it was only natural for people to start swarming in once some song about the 80's by some guy called Calvin Harris entered the scene. That's when I finally decided that it was all too hot for dancing, and felt as though I was going to hurl. There are two entrances to the living room, one was through the hallway, and the other was through the dinner room, and seeing as the latter was the closest to me, it was the one I pushed past several teenagers to get through to quickly. From then on, I ran past the dinner room to the kitchen and was just about ready to hurl my contents into the sink, but thankfully that it was nothing more than a gag reflex.

I splashed some water on my face to cool me down, and surprisingly enough it did, but I still felt like I needed to get out, I needed to get away from people. I was dreading going outside only to be met with more couples making out and what not, so I decided to go to my dad's office to calm myself a little bit. As I walked though the hallways, people were already falling asleep and passing out, nearly blocking my path completely. They're going to have one killer hangover in the morning, that's for sure. As soon as I reached the office, I could hear an assortment of shuffling and muffled voices.

'_Not again.' _I thought as I reached the door handle. I think we've established that I'm not as straight forward as I would like to be, so I opened the creaking (although it couldn't be heard over the music) door slowly, hoping that whoever was in there would see the door open and stop their antics before my eyes saw them.

Unfortunately they didn't and that didn't surprise me. Though, what _did_ surprise me was _who_ was in the office and _what _they were doing. I could feel my pupils dilate tenfold in shock as my eyes widened at the sight.

A-Axel and Roxas…Together… and were…mak- making out!

Roxas was pushed backwards onto my dad's desk with his fingers running through that red mane of spikes with one hand, whist the other was wrapped securely around Axel's slender waist. The blonde's eyes were shut and I was just so glad he couldn't see me. Axel had both his arms wrapped tightly around Roxas, neither one of them pulling apart for air.

It made me feel sick. Not because he was making out with a guy, but because he was my brother, and I _never_ need to see my brother like that again. Perhaps they're more wasted then I think _I_ am, they must be, since they've only known each other for two days, well three now, and are already making out with each other. But I _know_ Roxas; he would never do something like this so voluntarily. Not unless he was under the influence of alcohol.

I quickly closed the door and just as quickly walked in the other direction. Too many things have happened to me today, and I guess it's all finally catching up with me. I needed to get out, I needed to get now! The front door was the not only the closest form of exit, but the easiest as there was hardly anyone strolling about. Nobody saw me exit, thankfully, and I started walking off in a direction that seemed almost foreign to me due to the lack of light and concentration on my feet.

Okay, so maybe it wasn't one of my best choices to walk outside in the night with a little bit of alcohol in my system, but I have very good reasons to, and I needed somewhere I could go to think properly, well as proper as I could.

I allowed my feet to lead the way and not before long, I found myself situated with the smooth rough texture of the sand gently caressing the heel of my feet whereas the moist texture of the sea was gently pushing forwards to stroke my toes, and then pulling back again to repeat the same action. The air seemed chilly and solemn, too different from what it's usually like in the mornings or when there is a group of us hanging around. But it's not different in a bad way I guess; it's quite soothing.

Minutes passed and were soon replaced with hours with the amount of time I stayed on the beach. The sky turned from a midnight blue to a blood struck red as the time went on. I stared mostly at the separate Islands where we used to play when we were younger. Wakka and Tidus would always play Blitzball from morning to night; Selphie would sometimes cheer them on or sit by herself and write poetry on the edge of the bridge. Kairi would occasionally sit and stay with Selphie and they would talk about… whatever it is girls talk about, or she would try her damned hardest to get either mine or Riku's attention. Rarely did she succeed as we were too fast for her to catch up, and because we were born on the islands, we knew all the best hiding places, much to her dismay. I sure do miss those days, but I know that there is no point in dwelling in the past when I've got the future to look out for. In a couple of weeks we'll be leaving that solemn school and reuniting with our best friend: the summer vacation.

This year's summer vacation was going to be different though.

Tidus and Wakka are going to this Blitzball camp for four of the six week vacation. That leaves me with two females, one of which will be lamenting the fact that her boyfriend is gone for the majority of the vacation whilst the other will be trying to claim me. Great, this is just great. What's more, by the end of vacation Wakka would be leaving us to attend college at his birth place: Besaid. Wakka came to Destiny islands with Lulu when he was six and we were five. Some girls were picking on Selphie, at the time, and Wakka stood up for her, instantly gaining our friendship in return. You mess with one; you have to deal with us all.

It's going to be weird without Wakka, but we all knew that this fateful day was going to come; I guess we just didn't anticipate that it would happen this quickly. With only three more weeks at school, we better make them the best damned three weeks. There's no way Wakka is leaving here with morose memories and a boring time. I wonder if Roxas would be devastated once Axel goes. Okay maybe not _devastated_, but something along those lines. Like I've said, I know it's only been two to three days, but already they seem to be really close, and I'm not just judging on what I saw earlier; the two seem to have a special connection.

Drowning in my thoughts, I'm not quite sure how but I found myself leaning against the coarse surface of huge rocks and allowed the morning wind to lure me softly into sleepy state.

: :

_Riku. _

_Riku stood on our old time __favorite Papou tree, his back was turned towards me as I stood on the rickety bridge that led me to him. "Riku?" I whispered. It was supposed to come out as a shout, or a call, but all I could manage was a whisper. My vision was vaguely blurry and no matter how hard my hand tried to clear my sight, nothing worked. I could see a huge dark cloud arriving; bringing its thunder and rain as __it__ rapidly approached us. "Riku!" I tried again, but this time nothing came out._

_I could hear the storm just waiting to pour its injudicious contents around us and only then decided to run for Riku, alerting him of what was to come. I decided that it was futile to try and shout so I gave up on that focused all my attention on the oblivious silverette. Once I reached the land where Riku was, I called out his name. "Riku, what are you doing here? Can't you see that there's a st-"_

"_What is it that you want Sora?" he cut me off, though his voice didn't sound irritated or uncouth, it sounded…lustful._

_Almost immediately shock and hope shaped together as one big emotion and took form inside me. Just what was Riku trying to achieve? "Riku…I…" I stopped the second he turned around. Aquamarine eyes locked onto mine, I could just see the desire that filled them._

"_Well Sora?" Although we were at a distance, I could see that smirk, which used to be reserved for me, on his porcelain visage. He had one silver brow raised and his eyes seemed daring. He wore nothing but a long black leather coat and black trousers. The zip of the coat was undone, divulging his pale skin yet brawny torso to the hostile harsh weather._

_I took a step forward and he jumped backwards of the tree, his continuous gaze never leaving mine as he did so. As soon as his bare feet touched the ground the rest of the islands disappeared into darkness and the blurriness was being deteriorated by the shadows. Our __favorite __Papou__ tree dispersed with the rest of the world and all there was left was me and Riku. He folded his leather-clad arms over his chest, and turned his face away from mine. "So, I guess you don't want me then?" he asked, breaking the silence. Not only did he sound sad, but a little bit playful as well._

_I tried to move, I tried to speak, all to no avail. The force of this dark surrounding was pulling me closer underneath to its murky abyss and there was nothing I could do. It was cold and scorching my legs until everything from my waist down felt numb and was forced to join the rising shadows. My eyes shut tightly in fear as I struggled to free myself from its grip. They only opened once my body felt free from its confinements and I was finally available to breathe. _

_My back was pressed down against the black sand and my blue orbs scanned helplessly around the twilight ridden sky. There were no clouds, no moon and no stars, it was as though everything had been deprived of light and eternal darkness was forced to take over. Even the air smelt and tasted like tainted innocence, and it was obligatory to take it all in. I rose from the ground, my hands and feet __molding the sand as I did so. I could hear myself breathing heavily and the evidence was shown as grey fogs releasing itself from my mouth and nose. Not even the black waves, that were tenderly bashing themselves against each other, could be heard._

"_Is this what you want Sora?" That enticing voice came from behind me. I could feel his hot breath dramatically at the back of my neck, but as I turned around to see my cloaked dreamer, he was not in sight. Instead what I was met with was the cave where he and I hung out in every chance we got. "Sora?" It was barely a whisper, but audible enough for me to hear, and surprise surprise, it came from the cave._

_I __didn't__ have a clue as to what Riku __wanted__, and in my head I kept on battling out if I should give in to him by going in. __Who__ would it satisfy more? Why is he doing this to me? Why do I feel even lonelier once his voice left me than what I did before?_

_Before I had a chance to answer my own questions, the sand beneath me started falling and falling into nothing. I moved quickly and jumped forward, landing on my hands and knees in front of The Secret Place. Cursing a few words that were incoherent to me, I walked into the cave and I swear I heard him chuckle. Not before long, I made my way through the long dark tunnel and __entered__ the mouth of the cave. _

_So was Riku._

_The long leather jacket had been discarded elsewhere and he stood with both hands conveniently propped on each hip. His eyes seemed to glow in the dark, yet they were dark themselves and his trousers hung dangerously low on his waist. His face was void of all emotion except his eyes. Even in this shadowed room I could see that they still held their depth and intensity. As soon as he saw the nervous look on my face, he took one step forward, which caused me to take one step back. Then it was back again__:__ that devilish smirk was placed on his face. I wanted to glare, Gods how I wanted to glare, but it didn't come, instead my nervous expression faded, leaving me with a blank face._

_Riku seemed amused, and then the smirk turned into a smile. These games he was playing with my mind were getting me fed up. What is his goal in all of this? To torture me? Does he hate me this much? _

_His amused face turned __skeptical, then back to amused. I think he read my thoughts because he then said "Don't worry Sora; I'm not going to hurt you." He smiled what seemed to be a genuine smile and held his hand out for me to grab._

_Without even thinking I began running towards him. My body, obviously having a mind of its own, acted without my brains permission and instead on my hearts. My hand was a few __millimeters away from his and the second that they touched he reached forward more eagerly and pulled my hand onto his. With our bare fingers enlaced with one another's, he used his free arm to wrap around my waist and pull me closer. I gasped at the surprise of contact but was happy nonetheless. My chin rested atop his shoulder as both hands were now around my waist and he was slowly rocking us side to side. "How do you feel, Sora?" he whispered in my ear before gently pulling us apart to stare me deeply in the eyes._

"_I…"_

: :

Light splashes of water started hitting me in my face and became the cause of my sudden awakening. I groaned inwardly at the loss of subconsciousness and opened my hazed eyes, only to be met with sparkling teal as I did so. "Riku?" I asked. My eyes immediately traveled downwards to make sure I had nothing embarrassing going on with my body. Thankfully I didn't. I didn't even need to have a mirror to find out how shocked my face was. It was like a deer caught in the headlights of a fast moving truck.

His eyes radiated concern, and as usual I found myself drowning in them, until he called my name that is. "Sora, are you okay? How much did you have to drink last night?" I think he whispered, but it sounded more like a scream to me. My hand immediately went to my head to try and stop the intense throbbing and brush a few strands of messy locks away from my view. I know it seems cliché and all, but as I squinted my eyes away from the suns powerful rays, it surrounded Riku and he honestly looked angelic. Wait a minute – the sun? Just where was I? "Sora?"

Yet again, his luscious voice brought me out of my trance, "I'm…I'm fine. I just need some water or something." I lied. I needed air; Riku was too close for comfort. Hands that were currently in my lap, traveled their way to the ground, molded the sand and steadied themselves so I had some sort of leverage to rise up from the ground. Oh, so that's where I slept last night, I don't even remember coming here. I shakily got myself up from the ground, Riku did too, and the action made me feel nauseous. Almost instantly I doubled over and spilled the contents of yesterday onto the sand. Riku leaped out of the way in time and was at my side in seconds, patting my back in a soothing manner. Once I believed I had been completely ridden of sickness, I stoop up properly and looked at Riku, embarrassed and apologetically. "Sorry about that." I said sullenly, taking a new interest in the ground beneath me.

"No, Its okay," I could see that he was looking at me through the corner of my eye, but I was still too embarrassed to look at him. When I showed no sign of being convinced or making eye contact he chuckled a little bit at my stubbornness. "Honestly Sora," He said as he put my arm around his neck and smiled warmly back at me. "Looks like I'll have to walk you back."

"Thanks," I muttered. It's not like I wasn't happy to see Riku, and be as close to him as I am now, but first of all: I felt like crap. Secondly it kind of surprised me that a) he was here on the beach the exact same time I was, and b) acting like there was nothing wrong. He was going on as though the past three or whatever years hadn't happened. Or maybe I was thinking about this too much.

We began to walk at a slow pace, the suns harsh rays nearly blinding me as we walked. From the beach, it would be about ten minutes at most to get back to my house. It wasn't until Riku started leading me down a longer and completely different path that I was getting a bit worried. My arm had abandoned his neck long ago, but as we walked through an alleyway I tensed up and Riku could tell. "Relax." He said once he saw me stop dead in my tracks. "We're going this way for your safety. The suns probably not helping right now, and if we were to walk through the market, you'll only throw up at the smell of oily things from café's and meats."

Riku was right. Just the thought of smelling all those things had me cringing and feeling all nauseated again. My arms immediately gripped my stomach and I doubled over yet again, just waiting for the contents to pour out and spill over. When nothing happened, I slowly stood up properly and Riku was looking at me with concern replacing his usually smug face. "Sora?" I grunted as a response. "Its not that far from my house, do you want to get an aspirin or something? No ones in so you don't have to worry about what they'll say to your dad or anything."

Okay, had I entered some time warp or an alternate universe? Riku – my ex-best friend, the guy who is constantly tainting my innocent dreams and the one who hasn't spoke to me in Gods know how long (minus yesterday and today) - was inviting me back to his house? Just what was going on here?

I looked at him with a mixture of disbelief and sickness while he continued to stare at me with those lucid eyes of his. My mouth opened to speak but was abruptly cut off by the vibrating in my back pocket. I took out my phone and before I had a chance to flip it open, I had seven missed calls and eleven unread text messages. All by Roxas no doubt. The vibrating didn't stop so I flipped open the phone and clicked dismiss. Roxas could wait. "I'll have that aspirin if that's alright with you?" My only response was a nod and we started walking again.

Riku's house was about five minutes away from the alleyway. I recognized the overly large gates and extravagant front yard instantly. Not a lot has changed over the course of all these years. Now if anyone thought that _I_ was rich, they should meet Riku. His large family is known all over Destiny Islands for being great entrepreneurs or being powerfully inclined at the jobs they tend to. In fact, if it wasn't for my dad and his dad being not only being great lawyers, but best friends also, then I doubt me and Riku would've been as close as we were. Sadly though, Riku's dad passed away, along with his mom, in a car crash when Riku was only fourteen, leaving him in the care of his older brother, Sephiroth, and their three cousins: Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo.

Riku lived in a six bedroom mansion in the upper end, such as myself, of town. Everything from the outside in was molded to perfection and brought back a series of memories as I stepped into the foyer. Riku led the way to the kitchen and I followed suit. "Take a seat and I'll get you a drink and an aspirin."

"Thanks." I murmured and obeyed without another word between us. I lowered my head onto the glass table in front me, feeling amorous to the coolness it was giving my head. Not long after, I opened my eyes to a clear blue glass which fizzed from inside. I raised my head and took hold of the glass; Riku sat opposite and watched my every movement with concern. I raised the glass to my lips. "This is the last time I drink," I swore before downing the disgusting beverage all in one go.

Riku smiled then chuckled at the look on my face once I had finished. If there's ever any drink I hate more than water, its water with an aspirin. Moments passed without a word to each other and complete evasion of eyes. I tapped nervously on the side of the table whereas he just sat with his arms folded and looked around the room. Too much time had been wasted in nothing but silence. Silence that would have to be broken, by me no doubt.

"Are you hungry or anything?" He suddenly said, proving my inner thoughts wrong.

I shook my head, sighed then braced myself. "Why were you on the beach?" I asked dully, my blue eyes not leaving the table.

He cleared his throat; I could tell he was surprised by my question. "Well, I was out…jogging and I saw you on the beach."

I smiled weakly, my fingers tracing the outline of the cup. "You always were a bad liar you know."

"I guess I am." He copied my smile though his slowly formed into a smirk, "what does it matter if you knew?"

I looked him dead in the eyes, "I'll be getting the truth for once." I couldn't keep the bitterness from my voice, and to my surprise, his expression didn't change. If anything, it broadened. "And I think I deserve to know."

"I see." He rose from his seat and took the empty glass with him, allowing it to fall carelessly into the sink. "Well if it's an answer you want, a game we'll play." He stated smugly. He was up to something, I'm not sure what, but I found myself being subdued to his game.

"Fine." I said blandly, "Now, tell me why you were on the beach." It was more of a command than a question, but his attitude was getting me aggravated.

He sighed "I was on the beach because…" another sigh as he pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes, "I was on the beach because I followed you okay?"

"What!?" I half spoke half cried. "Why were you following me?"

He pinched his nose and closed his eyes tighter. "My name."

"Huh?"

"You were calling my name in your sleep." My eyes widened increasing huge at the statement, though Riku didn't move from his state. "Why?"

My mouth opened and closed like a fish out of water. What was I supposed to say? I have to think of something quick. "I erm… I" I paused and he looked up at me. Handsome teal bored into stunned cerulean. I sighed figuring that there was no way out of this; I knew Riku wouldn't let this drop. We were playing _his_ game. His game: his rules. "I was having a nightmare." I answered.

"With me in it?" he seemed amused a little, causing me to glare.

"Why were you following me?" I asked, deliberately ignoring his second question, just as he did mine.

"Because… Because I was going to go to your little party thing," he sighed, "I got to your house about eleven and when I went to knock on the door I just couldn't." His gaze diverted from me to the left. "I was about to walk away but then I got talking to Zexion for ages, something about Axel or whatever. Anyways, we talked for ages, then he went in and I was going to head home, until I saw you that is," The whole time he was talking, I was just nodding in understanding. It kind of makes sense, I think I remember seeing Zexion arriving just as I was leaving. "You weren't even walking straight, so I followed you to make sure you were okay." He murmured something incoherent but judging by the way he was acting right now, it's probably best not to probe him too much. There was a long pause before he spoke again. "Did I... Did I hurt you in your nightmare?"

I shook my head and then stopped at the incessant pain. "No," I answered truthfully. To be honest, I was a little confused by his choice of question, I was expecting something more – I don't know, something more Riku-y. "Why did you come after me?"

He got up from his chair, and held a hand out for me to take hold of and use for leverage. "Roxas would be worried, we should get you back." I took hold and allowed him to pull me up. "As for your question, I already answered it." He stared at me, as I eyed him briefly.

"As I said," I walked past him and made my way back the way I came, "You always were a bad liar." I opened the front door to his house and walked through. I could feel his footsteps run after me and he followed me as I made my way back home.

: :

I arrived at my house quicker than what I had expected. Probably because I was making sure I kept at least two steps in front of Riku at all times. So you can imagine the amount of conversation we had.

As soon as I reached the front of the house, I turned to face Riku. "Thanks for the aspirin and-" I used my middle and index fingers as quotation marks, "-'making sure I was okay'." I said as I mimicked his voice from earlier.

Riku smiled a genuine smile, nodded and turned on his heel, as did I. The second I reached my front door, I felt a pair of warm hands grip my shoulders gently whilst a strong body was pressed against my back and froze instantly. I didn't need to turn around to know who it was. "I did it…" He whispered breathily in my ear. I had to bite down hard on my lip to show no verbal sign of enjoying this. "…because, I still care for you Sora."

Then all contact was gone, leaving me to feel empty.

I turned around and managed a glimpse of him leaving. I wanted to call out to him, _Gods _how I wanted to call out to him, but I couldn't. The words didn't come as I was washed over with a sense of joy while I thought about his words. A small smile placed itself on my face and I looked like a goofy love sick teenager as I watched him walk away.

I didn't even hear the front door open. "Where -" Roxas shouted from behind me, causing me to jump and my smile to fade dramatically, "- The hell were you!?" I turned around and stared him blankly in his cold eyes. "I was going to get a search party ready and everything. Why haven't you returned any of my calls or texts?"

I looked at him incredulously "Are you serious? You're worst than Kai-"

"Sora?" Her feminine voice interjected, making me close my eyes and prepare myself for the lecture. "We've all been worried sick about you." There was no denying the anger in any of their voices. "You better have a good explanation for not letting us know you were okay." She pointed her finger up and down several times in my direction.

I sighed. I could either tell them the truth, or getting my lying skills into gear. I opted for the latter but just as I was going to give them my false tale, Wakka came out with a pan of sausages and bacon. "Foods ready." He announced. Before I had a chance to react, the meaty smell flew its way up my nasal passages and caused me to vomit. Wakka shielded the pan away from me immediately whist being backed up by Kairi. Roxas on the other hand was not expecting it whatsoever and I accidentally got some on his shoes.

I am _never_ drinking again.

: :

I woke up in my bed hours later. After I had apologized to Roxas and cleaned myself up and changed my disgusting clothing, I excused myself to bed. I remember a sneaky 'morning sickness' comment as I walked up the stairs earlier, probably by Axel. I knew for a fact that he, along with Wakka, Selphie, Tidus, Kairi, Olette, Pence and Hayner all spent the night here. The house was surprisingly clean and I felt kind of bad for not being here to help them clean up. It was my idea to hold the party at my house after all.

As I lay in bed, I couldn't help but think if Zexion actually did get a chance to talk to Axel. I wouldn't expect them two to know each other, they seem too different. I've never seen those two socialize in school, and I wonder what kind of state he must of found Axel and Roxas in.

I quickly shot the idea out of my head and made my way to the door. All that throwing up has sure made me hungry and has put me in the mood for some chocolate. My alarm clock was beeping silently on the floor by my toes. I picked it and up and mentally kicked myself for not breaking the piece of machinery when I had the chance. It was a little after seven o'clock in the evening so I can imagine the majority of them had gone home.

I went downstairs to find Roxas preparing a DVD for him and Axel and Kairi to watch. _Great_. God couldn't have left me with more of an awkward selection than this. I inhaled deeply before making entering the dimmed room and sat next to Kairi. "What are we watching?" I whispered to Kairi. We were both on opposite sides of the couch, just like Axel and Roxas on the other.

She shrugged. "Not sure, something to do with action though," She claimed. "Sora, would you help me make some popcorn?" She didn't even wait for my reply and rose from the chair with me following straight after her.

The kitchen was immaculate and I dare say more clean than what it was before the party. Those guys sure must have worked hard and the guilt was stirring around me in. Kairi placed the raw corn in the popcorn maker then turned to look at me. I sat down on the available stool and met her anxious gaze. "Sora, about last night… I didn't mean to… well it's not like… if you want we can pretend it didn't happen okay?" Her facial expression changed from worried to sad as she said the last part and she shielded her face by looking down at the ground.

"Kairi," I started, my voice sounded far off and it was starting to show how apprehensive I was to have this conversation. I don't want to lose Kairi as a friend, but I also didn't want to gain her as something more. The truth is the only way through this and I hope she understands that. "I'm flattered, honestly I am, I mean we're best friends… and I love you to." She looked at me with hope in her eyes. _Greeeat_. "But, more like a sister. I'm sorry."

Any sign of happy feelings that were shown on the wine redhead's features was completely shattered and replaced with dejection. I felt so bad just by looking at her. It feels as though I've ran over the cutest puppy. "Oh," She said sadly and focused on putting the popcorn in the bowl.

"_We're getting hungry in here."_ I heard Axel shout from the other room; I rolled my eyes as Kairi began to walk back towards the living room.

"Kairi wait." I commanded softly, she obeyed and stopped, though, she did not turn around. "I really am sorry; I hope this doesn't change anything between us."

There was silence then a soft sigh released itself from her lips. "Its okay Sora," the wine redhead turned around with a smile on her face. I examined it for a second and when I found out that it wasn't feigned, I began to walk over to her. "I don't hate you or anything, and I could kind of tell you didn't like me back. I think this is all happening because everyone's moving on and finding someone, and I guess… I guess I wanted it too." I listened intently and nodded along with what she was saying. "Who better to have a relationship with then your best friend right?"

"Kairi, I will always be your best friend whether you like it or not." A smile made its way to my lips as she reflected hers back at me. "And don't worry about finding someone; I know a certain twelfth grader who is interested in you." My smile broadened at the look she gave me.

"Oh my gosh, who?"

"Now Kairi, that would be taddling, and I for one am _not_ a taddler."

"You so are, I remember that time when you '_accidentally_' told my mom about me getting my belly button pierced."

I laughed and held a hand at her defensively, "First of all that _was_ an accident!" I protested and tried to stop myself from laughing at the memory. "And secondly I had no idea your mom would react that way so blah!" I stuck my tongue out at her on the last words, and she playfully slapped me on the shoulder with her available hand.

We both broke out into giggles which were quickly interrupted by Roxas clearing his throat and leaning lazily against the door with his eyes closed and arms folded. "You know, we've been waiting for you guys to come in with the popcorn so we could start the movie right?"

"Yep," I answered cheerfully, causing my brother to roll his eyes and stand up properly.

"Roxas, will you take the popcorn and start the film without us. I've got something for Sora."

I looked at Kairi questioningly as Roxas nodded, gladly took the bowl, and turned back towards the living room.

Kairi smiled sweetly at me. "Come on, and don't look so scared."

Before I had a chance to protest, the auburn haired teen caught hold of my wrists and dragged me out of the kitchen. We passed the living room and went up the stairs towards my bedroom. "_Not on the first date kiddies!_" Axel called, which we instinctively ignored. It's like he's one of us already. We reached my bedroom door and opposite were a large mirror and behind it I kept my key for my bedroom. Kairi lifted it with ease and retrieved the key. "Since when did _you_ know where I kept my key?" I asked as she started unlocking my door.

"Since you forgot to give me a birthday present the other year and I had to find to find a way to get payback." She opened my door and we walked in. "Do you recall a Halloween about seven years ago and a hand grabbed your foot from under the bed?"

My eyes widened at the memory. "That was you!?" I nearly shouted. "I was scared to go to bed for like a _month._" She couldn't stop giggling as she sauntered her way over to my desk where an elegantly wrapped pink box lay. "I'm serious; I had to top and tail with Leon. No one would believe me when I said that there was a monster under my bed." She laughed so hard that she nearly dropped the box; I nearly started laughing too, but tried to keep up the whole 'you-gave-me-nightmares-for-like-a-year' act.

"I'm sorry …I was young then and… I needed to get you back… you said… you said that you got me a gift… and you didn't!" She said between laughs. "So I had to get my revenge. And your reaction was priceless. You screamed so loud and ran so fast. I laughed so much I nearly didn't make it out in time."

"You are pure evil." I started darkly, which only spurred her on more. I'm never going to forget that day. The only one who believed me that day was… Riku.

"Sit." She commanded boldly and motioned me to sit on the bed with her head. I complied and sat next to her. "Okay, well, I don't know if you noticed, but later on in the party, Tidus Wakka, Selphie and I went up here to celebrate privately for a while." I opened my mouth to argue but was abruptly cut off by her dismissive hand. "Before you even argue, I tried to get you but you were constantly going to get a drink or switching directions." It's true. "So we came up here and equally shared this…"

She untied the black netted bow that was keeping it securely shut and opened the pink box. Inside were the remnants of an apple and cinnamon pie topped witch chocolate sauce swirling around the top in a zigzag notion. "Kairi, isn't this the…" She nodded enthusiastically. "How did you get it? I swear she stopped making them years ago."

"She did," she clarified, "but I managed to get her to negotiate. It wasn't cheap so you better be grateful." She smiled and offered me a clean fork from inside the box. Just as I was about to take the fork she held it back out of reach. "Now, are you sure you're not going to throw up on me? This is a new top and I'm not having it ruined by your insides." She said playfully.

I rolled my eyes. "Just as long as you don't pull anymore practical jokes on me, then we have a deal." She laughed and handed me a fork. There were two large slices left in the box, and I immediately started digging in. "Mmmm… It's been sooo…. long since we had this. How long… has it been?" I asked between mouthfuls. My half was disappearing fast whereas Kairi's…

"About eight nine years. I remember when we first had it at Selphie's fifth birthday," she smiled softly completely averting her gaze to the window, away from her nearly whole slice. "And the last time we had it was at Riku's fourteenth, the same year she stopped making them." Her voice sounded far off and on the verge of drifting off. She turned to look back at me as I was halfway between eating a second bite from her slice.

"Sora!" she smiled and started hitting me playfully, I nearly choked from laughing.

"Do you remember the real friend best friend policy?" I asked her proudly, playing her at her own game.

"Touché," She said happily. "Looks like I'm gunna have to think of a way to make us even." A smirk plastered itself on her face.

"No Please!" I mock begged and before we knew it, we were laughing all over again.

After a few minutes once the laughter had died down, we had found ourselves lying top and tail on my bed. Kairi had finished off the pie and we were both staring at the ceiling lost in our own thoughts. What Kairi said earlier really struck something in me. The last time we had that cake was with Riku. Riku should be with us now, he should be here having parties and remising on good and bad times.

The lady who made the pie was someone called Yunalesca. She was a friend of my dad, Logan, and Riku's dad, Jared. Now, anyone who knows Yunalesca now would say she's a cold bitter woman who hates everything and anyone who crosses her path. They say that she loves creating sorrow in those around her and will end up alone. But those who used to know her well would know that certain events led her to think and say these things. She used to be mayor of this part of town and look out for it well, but quickly retired her job once Riku's parents died. At the time, when they died, Yunalesca's husband, Zaon, sadly passed away too only a couple of weeks before. It's like as soon as they all passed, a bit of Yunalesca died along with them.

She made her pies for us at parties and as celebrations. She always had a unique sense of flavor in all of them and they were the kind of thing you craved all the time, but appreciate that they only come a couple times a year. Like Christmas and birthdays; if everyday was Christmas or some type of celebration where you get everything you want, you would eventually grow tired and used to it, and in the end receive nothing. Its also one of those things that is better off with friends and family. That's why having it now still felt kind of wrong. If anything, out of all of us, Riku was most attached to Yunalesca, and her pies, so it's only fitting that he should be here right?

"Sora?" Kairi called me softly, "We should get back downstairs, Wakka and the others will be returning soon. Oh, and I don't want to give Axel any more reason to make any more innuendos." She said as she started getting up.

"I thought they went home."

"Nope. Selphie's using the bathroom in Roxas' room whilst Wakka and Tidus went to Axel's, with his permission of course, to use his bathroom so they could all get cleaned up. Don't you remember? Selph and I told our parents the _whole_ weekend. Tidus' mom, and Lulu for that matter, thinks him and Wakka are at some camp thing."

"Won't they get caught? Won't Axel's parents notice? And why not my bathroom?"

She stood by the door and straightened herself out. "Nope, unlike us, Axel doesn't live too far from here and no where near where Tidus and Wakka do. Apparently they don't live with him and his house is available. And have you seen the state of your bathroom? Besides, she was afraid she'll wake you _or_ you catch a glimpse of her…not at her best let's say." Point taken.

"So he lives by himself?"

She shrugged. "Who knows? All I know is the minute we're done watching their crappy 'I am Legend' film, The Devil Wears Prada is coming on!" She beamed, as we walked back to the sitting room.

Unfortunately, for Kairi and I, the comments from Axel were many, but we didn't care. Wakka and Tidus arrived fresh and clean moments after and Selphie had rejoined our large group of people. Due to the majority of boys, there was a large amount of protest the minute Kairi inserted a chick flick into the DVD player. If looks could kill, we would _all_ be six feet under from the glares we got from the two females, which hastily shut us up with no further comment.

We spent the rest of the night watching films with Tidus, Axel and Roxas on one couch and Kairi and I on the other. Selphie had long since fallen asleep on Wakka lap on the floor, and it wasn't long before the rest joined her one by one subconsciously. Because I had already slept not that long ago, I was the last one up and ended up watching Pirates of the Caribbean: At Worlds End all by myself. I couldn't help but think that this was the way that things were meant to be. All of us spending time with each other before college calls on some for a year, and we have to separate. Riku has no one. I don't see him hanging around with anyone at school, and I hardly see him socialize with anyone. His last few memories of high school can't be like that. I refuse for any of his to be like that, and now that I know he doesn't hate me, I'm going to get him back. He should be in the spot that is currently between me and Kairi.

I will get my best friend back.

**: :**

**AN: **This took me ages to write lol. Okay, I know the dream may seem random, but it will be significant to the story in a later chapter. I think lol. Just so you know, there's something going on in this brain of mine, and it has something to do with Zexion and Demyx and another for Cloud and Leon. But that is completely up to you my _lovely_ audience if you want them to have quite a role in this. Send me a review okay? Speaking of reviews, thank you to those who have sent me reviews and private messages due to this story. They really do make me gleeful and push me to write more. So keep them coming XD.


	4. Encounters With The Past

**Hopelessly I'll Love You Endlessly**

**Disclaimer:** Trust me; if I owned Kingdom Hearts, Sora would end up with a certain silver haired dude instead of a redheaded princess. Axel would live forever and gain a heart, and all the games would be sold all around the world first before Japan. And seeing as none of that happens or is going to happen, I don't own the game. Unfortunately.

**AN:** I'm not actually quite sure of what I think about this chapter. But I'll post it anyway lol. This one is a little longer than the previous chapters, but it's got a lot more events and might satisfy some of your crazy fan girl/boy cravings lol, then again maybe not. Pleeeease Review! I've got the subscribers; I just need the reviews to tell me that you actually enjoy this story lol. Just a tiny review is all it takes! Tell me what you do and don't like, tell me what needs improving! Oh and tell me if there are any mistakes, or if something makes no sense. Thanks 8D

**Chapter Four**

**Encounters ****with the Past**

The days passed on quite quickly and the next thing I know it's Wednesday afternoon. For once, my friends and I decided to sit in the lunch room instead of going outside. As we expected, it was packed with endless amounts of hungry students looking to satisfy their cafeteria cravings. I, on the other hand, would not be caught dead eating the crap they serve here. The lunch ladies are horrible and do disgusting things to your food when no ones looking. No joke, one time when we came in here, Tidus made a sarcastic comment about the food and one of the lunch ladies, and when he got his food back… lets just say he'll never look at a burger the same way again.

Anyways, we decided to come back into the lunch room because we got kicked off the field, something about litter, and came here instead. Now, at our school we're not allowed off campus during lunch and break times, something to do with safety, and the only place we could think of where to go was the lunch room. It's been five days since the party and I still had quite a few people coming up to me and telling me that it was the best. I'm just happy for Tidus and Selphie though.

The tables seated six, which was absolutely perfect for us. Along one side sat me, Wakka and Tidus whist Kairi sat opposite me and Selphie sat opposite Wakka. Just like every Wednesday lunch time, we all knew not to bother Wakka and Tidus as they always have gym last period and because they know that they are going to be picked for captains, they sort out their teams early. Summer vacation is definitely going to be weird without those two.

I drank my juice in silence, whilst Kairi and Selphie were whispering something to each other and Tidus and Wakka were off in their own world. Looking over to my side onto another table, I could see that Roxas was sitting with Pence and completely ignoring whatever it was that the brunette was saying to him. Roxas was too busy staring at Axel and Zexion who were busy talking a couple of feet away from them. I haven't asked Roxas about his relationship with Axel, though, I really did want to. I know Roxas; he'll come and talk to me when he's ready. If you prod too much in his life and don't give him his personal space, just like my dad, he'll close down and won't speak to anyone.

It was kind of weird, Axel was looking kind of mad at Zexion; it was like he was trying to hold back shouting or something. Zexion, on the other hand had the same emotionless facial expression as usual. I wonder how the two know each other; they seem completely different and like the most un-likeliest people to get along. Axel is loud and knows how to make his presence known, whereas Zexion likes to go on unnoticed and is really calm. He's in my English class and all I know is that he's super smart and achieves top marks in everything that he does.

"Sora hello? Earth to Sora!" I heard Selphie cry and wave her hands in front my face. I politely batted her hands away from me and she smiled. "Phew, he's Oooooookay!"

"Is something wrong? You've seemed out of it all day." Kairi asked me.

"Yeah, I'm fine," I told them "I'm just thinking you know. Besides, I have a history test last period and I'm no where near prepared." I Lied. Kairi and Selphie looked at me disbelievingly, I don't blame them. All day today I've been thinking about what I'm going to do about Riku. This is going to be my first history lesson this week, meaning, this would be my first encounter with him since Saturday, and to tell you the truth, I'm quite nervous.

He had told me that he still cared for me. Does he mean it? Or is he just trying to play with my head? He seemed pretty genuine, and he _did_ stay with me all night to make sure that I was okay, right? That should make it a good thing right? Then why hasn't he spoken to me? Why won't he just come to me with open arms and tell me he wants to be friends again? On that matter… why aren't we friends in the first place? Why-

Questions, questions, too many questions. Suddenly I felt a little bit too hot for comfort and needed to get out. Kairi and Selphie were watching me the whole time battling out these unanswered questions in my head and their stares of concern were too overwhelming, if they kept it up, they would prompt Tidus and Wakka to do the same and _that_ I do not need. I sat up abruptly, causing my chair to screech against the floor and cause a series of grunts from the students near me. "I erm…" I could feel my cheeks redden and I have no idea why. "I need to go to the bathroom." I lied but it was the first place and thing I could think of. The girls nodded, though, looked at me like I was up to something, and I quickly left the lunch room.

Why do things have to be so complicated? In reality, I should be worrying about the fact that I keep on have passionate dreams about a guy, and not just any guy, but my ex-best friend. But for some reason, all that matters to me right now is how am I going to talk to Riku? When should I talk to Riku and the most painful one to think about: If I was to talk to Riku, would he just ignore me completely as if I was nothing? Because after all those years, that's how I think he thinks of me: as a piece of nothing. There is no other way for me to put it.

Though I did not intentionally intend to go to the bathroom, that's where I ended up. I was thankful that hardly anyone was in here, but I was slightly surprised when I saw Zexion coming out of one of the stools and began to wash his hands. He looked into the mirror and his reflection met mine. Despite the fact that he was kind of at a distance with me, the white that was supposed to be surrounding his clear blue iris was red. He sniffed a bit then wiped some water over his face, the very weak smile he gave me once he turned around concluded it all together. The slate haired male had been crying but not obscenely so. Was it because of Axel?

"Hey Sora," he greeted sullenly, though; he did try to hide it by saying it happier, but I couldn't be fooled.

"Hey Zex, what's up?" I asked, concern filled my voice as I said so.

He leaned against the side of the sink and forced another smile. "Nothing, I'm fine."

"Zex, you can't fool me. I am a master when it comes down to people having problems." His smile was lost and he faced the other side. "You can talk to me you know, I won't judge or anything." I promised. Zexion was one of the few guys that were decent in the grade above mine, the rest are all assholes. He bit his lip and looked on the verge of whether he should tell me or not, so I tried another approach. "Is it Axel?" His head shot up instantly. That got his attention. "Because I saw you guys talking in the lunch room, and I heard that you went to speak to him at the party. Did he do something wrong?" I asked, hoping for a reaction from him.

He sighed before turning around to face the mirror once more. "No, Axel hasn't done anything wrong. It's me, I'm the idiot." He said the last bit harshly and sullenly. I notice him grab the side of the sink quite roughly and walked over to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I… I messed up completely and now he'll never forgive me."

"Who Axel?" I asked a little confused.

"No, Axel forgives me, but… Demyx doesn't. All because I'm a coward." He ran a stressed hand through his fringe and I thought that for once I would be able to see that obscure eye, but those clear blue were hidden underneath his eyelids.

"Who's Demyx?" I asked. Zexion was about to answer when these two boys came into the room and interrupted our privacy. I recognized the blonde one as Seifer, a local bully and a previous tormentor of Roxas, and muscled one as Rai, one of Seifer's lackeys. I rolled my eyes at the intrusion, "Let's go somewhere more private." I told Zexion as I turned around to leave.

"Well well well. Look what we have here Rai; a dork and an emo." Seifer claimed as he noticed our presence. Rai laughed and stood next to Seifer.

"Look what we have here Zexion; an idiot and a jackass." I stated before I could stop myself and heard Zexion chuckle. At least I made him smile. I knew that Seifer could kick my ass, and I knew I stood absolutely no chance with Rai there as well, but, I was not in the mood to have more problems caused for me. By listening to Zexion's problem, it's helping me get my mind of my own and focus on something different, besides, I'm good at sorting out peoples problems.

I grabbed Zexion by the wrist and barged past the two, obviously something that none of them were expecting. I don't know where all this is coming from and some part of me kind of liked being the dominant one right now, but then again, there is another part of me, the _smart _part that realized that by being courageous could cost me a lot. We made it out of the boy's bathroom and down the hall into the direction of library. "This ain't over loser!" was heard through the hallways by Seifer and we naturally ignored him.

The library, to me, was the smartest place to go. It was quiet and no one, like Seifer, would really be expected to come here so we wouldn't have to worry about eavesdropping either. We went to the back by the old geography books that no one ever goes to. Not only were the floors dusty, but the books were too, and for us, that was a good thing. It meant that no one was going to bother us. We settled ourselves down on the ground and I waited patiently for him to start again. It was pretty obvious that he didn't want to tell me who Demyx was just yet so yet again, I tried a different approach. "So how do you know Axel?" I asked.

He looked taken aback. "You mean you don't know?" I shook my head and he chuckled lowly and sullenly to himself. "I guess he wouldn't." He sighed, mentally preparing himself for this conversation. I knew that if it got too much for him I would stop him and tell him its okay. "Well, a while back when I used to live in Hollow Bastion, about two years ago, I was getting myself in a lot and _lot_ of trouble. I grew up in an orphanage since I was six I think, and so did Axel, though he had been in there since he was four. I guess that it's that reason why we started doing the things we did, nobody wanted us and there was no way we could go back to our parents."

I nodded in understanding and tried to digest everything he was saying. So he and Axel grew up in an orphanage together and Axel had already admitted to me earlier that he done bad things in Hollow Bastion, but that doesn't explain why he's upset. "Go on," I commanded softly "But only if you want to."

Another sigh. "Well, it started when we were about thirteen and going through that whole 'I hate the world' stage in our lives. We started hanging out in crowds and big gangs and they made us do some things to some people." I couldn't believe what he was telling me. Zexion doesn't seem like the type of guy that would hit a dead fly, let alone do some _things_ to some people. I mean, by the way Axel looks and acts, I can expect it from him, but not Zexion. "Eventually, we joined this gang called Organization XIII. It was absolutely pathetic, once you joined; you're given a ranking depending on your abilities or whatever and no matter what you're _not_ allowed to leave."

"Was that when things started to go wrong?"

"Quite the opposite actually," He started as he began to fidget with his thumbs. I noticed a small smile on his lips, probably at the memory of whatever it is he's thinking about, but it was a real smile, the first genuine one I've seen all day. "Once I joined, I met this boy. He was so completely… different. Like me, he didn't want to be in the Organization but had to stay in there because he had no where to go. We met when we were about thirteen and he was just so… everything I'm not. He was vibrant and was hardly ever violent, but only when he needed to be." The smile was still there as he was speaking but I noticed it weaken slightly. "We were young, but by the time we were fourteen, I don't know, we started growing more attached to each other and our friendship…"

He couldn't get the words out and was gesturing with his hands. This was the first time I've actually seen Zexion speechless for an explanation. "…turned into something more?" I offered.

He turned his face to the side to hide his blush. "Yeah," He murmured. "It was weird you know, like, I spent more time with him than I did Axel, and when we weren't sent off to do tasks or whatever, we would just talk, and I guess it was nice to have someone who listens."

"So are you upset because you left, or is Demyx upset because you left?"

The smile was gone completely. "The whole violence thing was not me at all. I got quite a high ranking in the Organization but that's only because of my intelligence. I mean half the people who were in there hardly went to school and got a decent education so that didn't help. The guy who was our boss, Xemnas, though we had to call him 'Superior', he found out about Demyx and I. He said that it was improper for me to have feelings for him and if it continues, serious actions are going to have to be made against him more than me."

"That's terrible." I thought out loud.

"Xemnas and I always did have an understanding though," he continued. "I was one of those he could trust, and believe me, there were a lot of members who had thought of ways to take over and be number one." He rolled his eyes, I guess at the stupidity of it all. "He gave me a chance though, either I left and found some other way to survive before anyone found out, _or_ I stayed and watch Dem get beaten or worse."

I remained silent. There was nothing I could do or say that would help Zexion other than 'its okay Zex' or 'Everything's going to be alright'. I think that we both know that they would be nothing but mere ghosts of words that we wanted to hear and believe in.

"The only person I told that I was leaving was Ax. He seemed really frustrated to understand, I mean like, imagine the only person you've grown to know and love after all those years, walking out on you because you were in love with someone else. The only reason why I needed to speak to him at the party was because I was really desperate to find out if Dem was okay. I swear, if Xemnas had touched or harmed him, I'll kill him." He swore.

"Doesn't Axel know about Demyx?"

"That's kind of the whole reason why he's here. Xemnas got caught dealing some drugs or something and is now doing seven years in prison. Too bad, if only the police knew the other stuff he's done then it'll be longer. Anyways, according to Axel once Xemnas got caught, the group all went their separate ways, including Demyx and he doesn't know where he is. Before I left, I made Axel promise not to tell Demyx the reason why I had left, trust me, Demyx plus Axel can equal a whole heap of trouble, and I think that Axel knew this." He chuckled a little. "I knew that if Demyx tried to look for me, he'll only get caught and hurt badly. He'll ignore the rules and would have to be punished for something I did. I could never let that happen." he explained "I just… I just really want to see him, talk to him and tell him I'm sorry. He's always had a way of just making things better for me and his music; he plays the guitar well, but the sitar even better." He smiled.

"Did you get a chance to speak to him at the party?" I asked.

He blushed. "Well…" He scratched the back of his neck sheepishly. "I wanted to, Riku convinced me to, but I didn't find Axel in the best of states should we say? That reminds me, did Riku go into the party?"

"No." I answered truthfully.

"I told him to go to the party; we must have spent at least three hours debating about talking to those that were kind of avoiding. Well, I hadn't been avoiding Axel; it wasn't until Friday that I actually found out that he was attending our school. He's in none of my classes and it wasn't until I heard about that little fight between him and Hayner that I _knew_ that it was him."

So Riku's been… avoiding me? But why? Whatever Zexion said after that was lost to me, I found myself drowning in my own thoughts again. Oh yeah, and I have history in less than fifteen minutes. Fifteen minutes until I have to sit behind that perfect mass of silver hair and faultless body.

"Sora?"

"Yeah, sorry, I'm listening, I just zone out every now and then." I smiled warmly.

"I see. Look," he closed his eyes tightly and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm sorry for landing this all on you like this Sora; I should really keep my problems to myself."

I waved my hands dismissively at him, cutting him off from anything else he was going to say. "Honestly Zex, it's okay. I sorta needed a distraction anyways. So Axel doesn't know where Demyx is at all? Is that why he was getting a little frustrated at lunch?"

He nodded. "He's lying."

"Zex, I don't think-"

"Trust me," He interjected firmly, "He's lying. I know Axel better than anyone, and I know when he's not telling me the truth. He's the type who could lie through their teeth and make it sound so convincing that they would believe it themselves. Think about it Sora, Do you really see Axel as the type of guy to crack under pressure?"

I shook my head "No," I answered honestly.

"Exactly, but he was cracking when I was questioning him, and there's something he does when he lies, it's easy for me to recognize because I'm used to it, but to others, he can fool you like that." He clicked his fingers as he said 'that' to emphasize his point.

It was kind of weird to see Zexion like this. In class, he's his usual stoic self, only pays immediate attention to his schoolwork and nothing else. I know for a fact that he spends most of his times in the library as he like to read books and research into things he finds interesting, and doesn't really find the time to be with friends or anything. But his past is quite tragic; I can't even imagine all the crap he had to go through since he was six. He must've had a pretty rough life; I still can't get over the fact that he used to be in a gang. He really doesn't seem like the type, but when I think about it, I can see how he got into that situation. It wasn't by choice, it was all by force, and I guess that Axel has had it worse. But the two seem to be doing really well, I know Axel has had some difficulty fitting into this school, but he's not doing too badly, and Zexion has practically gone on unnoticed.

To be honest, I think the only reason why they actually got accepted into this school was because of their great grades. We all know that Zexion is like the smartest kid on the planet, but according to Roxas, so is Axel. I know that Zexion is currently living on his own in a small apartment and works at the local library, but as for Axel I have no idea. He's probably staying with someone; he must be to be living in our uptown neighborhood.

"I see, well, the only thing I can think of, Zex, is that if you know Axel as well as you say you do, I _know_ you'll be able to find a way to break him down. I know that right now he's probably still a little mad that you left and everything, and you, I and Axel both know that that is not your fault, so just give him a little time. I'm sure he'll come around." I offered him a reassuring smile, which he immediately reflected back to me. It seemed genuine, and I was just glad that I spent the whole lunch time helping someone else out.

"Thanks Sora. We should get going, the bells going to go soon and I don't want to be late for Mr. Rime's class." He stated boldly. I swear that he's the only student that _that man_ likes! So why is he worried?

A shrill shivered its way down my spine with thoughts about _that man_! Zexion noticed this and laughed. A laugh I was happy to conjure in the teen. "Okay, I have history now anyway. Lulu will kill me if I'm late for another lesson."

I was just about to lead the way out of the Library when a hand touched my shoulder and stopped me in my tracks. "I'm not used to saying or doing stuff like this, but really Sora, thank you for listening, it really… helped." He pulled me into a welcoming hug which I immediately found myself responding to. He sighed, a breath that I could tell he's been waiting to get out for a while and then pulled away. We smiled one more time before making our way to our dreaded lessons.

**: :**

I told myself that I would not lose my train of thought at _all_ and focus solely on the lesson at hand. That is one of those obvious examples of an 'easier said than done' task. It's only been fifteen minutes and already I'm thinking about him constantly. I arrived to the lesson the earliest and caught a quick glimpse of those eyes of his before he sat down in the seat in front of me. Lulu was talking about some project that we have to do before our summer vacation commences. Well, at least that much was heard from her, by me, I really couldn't concentrate with the object of my dreams being right in front of me.

The question that ran through my mind the most was; why was he avoiding me? If I had done something wrong, then I would at least like to know so that I could apologize to him properly. Or maybe it was something _he's_ done? If that's the case then he knows that he could talk to me and I won't judge him. We were best friends after all. I just wish he would talk to me; it actually kills to have him right in front of me and not say a word.

"Okay, I've written out in basics what I'm looking for in your essay, remember, these must be handed in before Friday next week, otherwise you'll miss out on the activities of the last week of school. That includes prom." Lulu announced, earning quite a few groans of protests from the class. "Let's see," Her eyes scanned around the classroom, "Riku, could you hand these out to everyone please." She patted on an assortment of papers on the desk.

Riku nodded and rose from his seat. In our small class there were no more than three girls, and unfortunately all three girls shrilled and giggled once they saw him rise. There is no denying the fact that Riku was good looking, I knew that most of the girls in our school wanted him, whilst most of the boys wanted to look like him. But, because the older male is less social and more closed, no one wants to _be_ him. In our school, appearance is everything and gets you places with the popular guys. I know for a fact that there has been many times in the past when some of the popular kids, such as Seifer, have asked Riku to join their click or something like that, but for some reason he always refused. The girls find it intriguing and mysterious, and in our school, that's enough to be deemed as sexy, but for Riku, that just makes him sexi_er_.

I glared at the girls, and didn't even notice the silverette place the handouts from Lulu on my desk and then walk past me. I watched him as he handed the last few ones out and sat back in his seat. He ran a hand through his silver locks and I knew from then on, anything Lulu says would be immediately lost to me.

It's kind of weird when I think about it, what _is_ it exactly that I'm feeling? Is it lust? Is it infatuation? Or is it something more? Is it something much more… complex? It's just that every time I see him, I get the urge to just do… something, _anything_ that involves him near me. Conversation or not, I just want him here, near me and the way things were. I loved those times when we were together and just done whatever we could that would consume each others time. Now, I've still got all these friends from the past, and he's got no one. Surely he can't be happy. Right?

These thoughts were really getting the best of me, it's like every time I try to think of an answer for one of my questions, a new one arises. I can't win and the only way I can get the results that I want is by doing the thing that I desire most in the world; talk to Riku. Then why am I so afraid? I need something that would help me, something to motivate me. I sighed quite audibly, but thankfully no one seemed to notice much. The palms of my hands met my eyes, and wiped them quite roughly to get me to concentrate. My eyes cast downwards to the sheet that was in front of me, and I noticed something bright and sticky on the paper.

On top of the paper was a bright orange sticky note with dark blue writing.

**Sora,**

**Can we talk?**

**Meet me at ****Scarlets**** Coffee Shop about seven.**

**Riku.**

I must have stared at the note for a good few minutes before I actually realized and accepted the fact that it was real and existing. A goofy smile found its way to my lips and I couldn't help but stare at the note in awe. It's like he read my thoughts or something, I know that I sound like a love struck schoolgirl, but that's kind of how I was feeling. This was just the push I needed and maybe… maybe this is my chance to get my best friend back.

Once the bell rang its alarm loudly and victoriously, school was finally over and I only had to wait a couple of hours before I could see and talk to Riku. I would have at least tried to of spoken to him once the lesson ended, but he practically ran out of the classroom before I even got a chance to. I, too, was about to leave, but Lulu calling my name just as I was about to leave class stopped me completely. No matter how many years I've grown to know her, we both know that my education would come before our friendship until I left Destiny High. That's why my eyes closed shut and I mentally cursed myself when she kept me behind.

Her gaze was normal, her visible hazel eye staring at me intently. I had to admit, when she wants to be, Lulu could be quite scary and it does take some time getting used to, but I don't think I ever have, or ever will. "Sora, I think you know why I've called you back." She said to me, her voice calm as always.

"Yeah. It's because I haven't been giving it one hundred percent in class right?" I answered a bit sarcastically, but also a bit shamefully.

"Actually, it was because of what you've been up to, but I'll talk to you about that later." Damn. "Sora, you know how much I hate lying right?" It was more of a statement than a question. But I nodded none the less. "So, I bet you can imagine how much I hated it when Tidus' mom called me other night asking me about their weekend away in Atlantica and I had to act like I knew what she was talking about."

I didn't even know what to say, I think my guilty face did that for me. "I… erm…" Suddenly, the back of my neck felt like it needed to be scratched and I looked around the whole room, trying to focus on anything other than Lulu, who was actually looking quite calm, she even kept her average calm voice.

"The weird thing is that Wakka told me that he was staying at _your_ house that weekend."

"Well he did… Wakka did stay at my house." I answered truthfully. Lulu was breaking me down easily and I know I looked as guilty as they get.

"That I believe, but what I don't is that he was the only one." Lulu is good. I'll have to remind myself later to kill Selphie, and then Tidus. "So Sora, this party that you had, does your dad know about it?" She asked.

I didn't want to tell her, _gods_ how I didn't want to tell her, but Lulu knows when I'm lying. In fact, anyone can tell when I'm lying; I'm just that _bad_ at it. "No. He's out of town _again_." I said the last word sadly and hung my head.

"Again?" She asked incredulously, her tone of voice changing immediately from calm and somewhat amused to slightly angry and upset. "So is it just you and Roxas staying in the house by yourself? How long is going to be gone this time? Has he even left you with any munny to get by?"

One thing about Lulu is that she cares too much. The black haired female knew and got along with my dad, but hated it when he left me and Roxas on our own for gods knows how long. "Lulu it's cool." I started reassuringly, "Me and Roxas will be fine. We have no idea how long he's gone for and yes he left us with some munny. We're old enough to take care of ourselves so, it's okay."

Lulu didn't answer and instead looked off into the distance and was obviously lost in her own thoughts. She had a look in her eyes that said 'bad news' and I didn't want to find out what she was thinking. "Sora you're right, you _are_ old enough to take care of yourself. You can go now." He gaze didn't fall from the window _way_ behind me, even as she spoke and her voice returned back to the same emotionless one she always had. I didn't question her or try to get something out of her and instead done exactly as she asked. I didn't like the look in her eyes at _all_, and like I said, Lulu can be scary sometimes, so I decided to leave her and head home.

**: :**

I had lees than an hour until I was supposed to meet Riku. The Café where he was meeting me was a new one that opened up a couple of weeks ago. It was quite popular with us teenagers, which made me wonder why Riku chose it, and it wasn't that far from my street. I dressed in a pair of dark blue knee length shorts, a grey top with yellow writing, and a navy blue hoodie and to complete my outfit together: a wristband on one arm and a belt wrapped securely around these baggy shorts.

Checking myself out in the mirror to make sure I looked okay, I heard a snort come from my open bedroom door. Roxas was leaning against the frame with his arms folded over his chest and a smirk played on his features. "Got a date tonight?" He asked, amused, as he walked into my room and sat on my bed.

"No, just a catch up." I answered. I couldn't tell Roxas who I was going to see. Since Riku left us, Roxas was always mad at him for doing it for no reason and madder at me because I didn't do anything or sort it out. I knew he wouldn't actually confront Riku because he knew that it was my problem, but _oh_ how he wanted to. I think it's because he knows what state I get in when we talk about the silverette, but I needed to see him and I really needed to talk to him. Because I know I'm a terrible liar, I wouldn't be able to do try that with the blond and get away with it… but that doesn't mean that I can't bend the truth. Right? "What about you, aren't you doing anything today?"

"Well, I did cancel all my plans 'cos you said that we were gunna have 'brotherly time' with each other today."

"Oh crap, was that today?" He nodded. "I'm sorry, this thing kind of just popped up and I _have _to go."

"It's cool, don't worry about it. Axel asked me if we wanted to hang out at his place today anyway."

I turned around to face Roxas completely. "You and Axel have been spending a lot of time with each other Roxas, you're not neglecting you're other friends are you?" I asked him accusingly. I already told him earlier in the week to make sure he keeps his friends, since they was younger, close to him, even if he was hanging out with someone more interesting.

"I haven't, we're just all kind of on hiatus from each other for a while. Pence, he goes off and does his own thing, whereas Hayner and Olette have kept to themselves ever since they started going out. Which, might I add, is your fault for holding that stupid party." He claimed.

I smiled at his immaturity, "_No_, actually it's _your_ fault for leaving Hayner behind and making him feel like he wasn't loved." I stated. "Besides, I think it's a good thing that those two are going out, it's kinda cute."

"'Hayner' and 'cute' should not be put into the same sentence. If he was here right now he would kill you for saying that." He chuckled lowly to himself. "Anyways, I gotta talk to Axel about something so I guess its okay."

"Oh," I mused. "What about hmmm?" I asked with high hopes that he would be ready to talk to me about his relationship with Axel. If he even knows what _is_ going on with him and Axel, that is.

"It's about you going to be late for you're little date." He replied sarcastically.

I rolled my eyes. "It's not a date." I replied almost immediately and then caught onto what he just said. "And you're right, I _am _gunna be late." I said as I looked at my watch and began to leave my room. I stopped at the door and remembered something. "Roxas…"

"I know I know. You'll be back by eleven and if you're not then only call you _twice_ before I go into one of my panic fits." He finished my sentence for me, though, more sarcastically and dully than what I would've done.

"And don't you forget it!" I commanded and left the house.

The walk, alone, took me roughly twenty minutes. I wasn't late but I wasn't earlier either, I arrived at seven o clock on the dot. Scarlets Coffee Shop, on ground level, was a three storey café but there was also another part to the shop that led you downstairs. The shop on the outside kind of looked like a night club, just without the bouncers and the constant drunks and druggies that always begged to be allowed in. There were bright search lights on the outside to make the shops presence known (despite the fact that it couldn't really be seen because the sky was still bright) and the word 'Scarlets' itself shone out in a bright red neon light whilst the rest of the title was in white neon and fancy writing.

You could practically smell the caffeine from the outside of the shop and I abruptly entered, hoping to lose and leave my shyness and anxiety outside. The place was absolutely… awesome and bigger than what I had expected. No wonder this place is popular with the teenagers, it's something so dissimilar and exciting from what we're used to. On the first floor, the floor that I was currently on, was where you could by you're drinks and food from. It kind of reminded me of a bar, there were stools in front of the place where you ordered, and there was a large area of empty space, which I assume is for ordering or something. On the outskirts of the room, were comfy couches facing opposite each other with a small coffee table in front. The room itself was quite large and I imagine it was the same design both up and downstairs, just without the whole ordering beverages concept.

The main colors of electric pink, silver, turquoise and black made the whole place look spectacular. Who ever owns this place sure likes to do things big. At Scarlets, there was hardly anyone here; in fact, the only people I could actually see was myself and two people behind the counter wiping clean some of the equipment that they would be using later on. I know that this place is a twenty-four seven café and suddenly I felt like I had been tricked or something.

Instead of doing what I always do, which is panicking and start thinking bad thoughts, I went over to the workers behind the till and decided to try and get some information. Without even turning around to see me, one of the men announced "We're closed for an hour."

I couldn't see who he was because he had his back turned to me, but he was wearing all black and had red hair that was tied into a ponytail and was so immense it reminded me of… "Axel?" I questioned out loud, earning a groan in response.

"No, the name's _Reno,_ not Axel, that lazy son of a bitch doesn't work here," The guy stated clearly, so he knows Axel? "Well the minute his ass comes through that door he doesn't." He murmured almost incoherently, but loud and comprehensible enough for me to hear.

"Well actually I'm not here for… I – I actually came here to meet someone." I stuttered, though _why_ I was I do not know, there was just something about this guy that seems so familiar. He stopped his ministrations and turned to look at me face on, pony tail swaying as he did so. Once he did, I was met with a familiar look of olive green eyes and flaming red hair as he did so. He certainly looked like Axel, except, this guys tattoo's were red and bordered a strong line on the edge of his eyes and he looked a couple of years older.

"The Leonhart guy, right?" He asked as he continued wiping his glass and looking somewhat skeptical as he stared off into midair. "Sara? No, erm Soro…S- So-"

"Sora," I corrected. He nodded once and placed the polished mug with the rest of them.

"_So_,_ you're_ Riku's buddy then?" A devious smile was placed on his lips once I nodded. "Is it you or your twin that is constantly taking my little bro's time?" He asked amused, his voice didn't sound rude or irritating like he was mad or anything, no his voice was subtle, playful even, a bit like…

"You're Axel's brother?" I nearly cried in astonishment, although, what I was astonished at, I do not know. They looked the same and near enough spoke the same except this Reno guy did appear older, but not by that much. Reno chuckled and nodded enthusiastically. I quickly shook my head as an answer to his question. "Nope, that would be my twin, Roxas."

"So, I guess you're here for Riku then?" He asked and didn't wait for an answer before ushering with his head over to the case of stairs that led upwards. "He's up there, tell him he ain't got long 'til I open up again."

"Okay, thanks." I said before nervously making my way towards the stairs and going up them.

The room was the same as the previous one, except there was no counter or anything and there were more sofas, tables and this room had computers for the students to use. It kind of makes sense that the place looks vibrant and so up to date with our teenage culture. When I think of a coffee shop, I usually think of subtle colors like brown and gold, with chairs and delicate music playing in the background and they always look like their just there to provide good coffee. But this one was completely different. It not only looked like one on the outside, but looked like a night club on the inside, and I can see why Axel's brother works here.

The room was brightly lit and looked like it needed to be cleaned; I guess that's why they were closed for an hour, but there was one problem though, it was empty. "Hello?" I called, hoping for a reply. When I didn't get one, my heart skipped a beat and raced faster. I found a near by couch and slumped down into the fabricated seat. Did he honestly stand me up? Did Riku seriously call me over here just to stand me up? But Reno said that he was upstairs and…

"Relax, I'm here." I jumped at the cool voice whispering seductively (well it was seductive to me) in my ear. Does he not know that by doing that he is driving me crazy? I watched him walk behind me and sit on the couch next to me.

I ran a critical eye over his clothing. "Why are you still in your school uniform?" I asked curiously, not bothering with a 'hello' of 'I thought you stood me up'.

"I came here after school, hadn't had the chance to go back home." He answered plainly. We both endured a couple of seconds of silence, what felt like hours, which was quickly broken by him. "I'm glad that you came." He spoke softly.

"Me too, but I would like to know _why_ I'm here."

"I wanted to see you." He replied calmly. I searched his eyes to see if there was anything he was hiding something or lying to me, and to my surprise, I didn't find anything.

"Why?" I asked suspiciously, obviously not convinced.

"So we could talk."

"About?"

He chuckled. "About why you like to ask so many questions." When my curious look didn't fade he sighed. "I wanted to talk to you, that's all."

"I know that, but _why?_ You haven't spoken to me properly in over four years, so why now?" I tried to keep the bitterness out of my voice, and I think that I succeeded because he gave me another one of those sexy chuckles.

"Because I meant what I said the other day, I do still care for you Sora, and I guess I just wanted to talk you know. I wanted to talk to you about… everything really." Is he serious? Does he just want to go on as though nothing has happened? As if the past four years hadn't existed? As much as I want that as well and as much as I've been dreaming that it would become a reality, I think that I do have some sort of right to know.

I was just about to say those exact words when a familiar voice shouted from downstairs. "_Yo Riku! Times up buddy, I gotta get that room cleaned up and polished before we re-open._" We heard Reno yell. Riku rolled his eyes and sighed at the lack of time.

"Looks like we better go." I announced and rose from the seat. I made an effort to get to the door before Riku could stop me, but alas he has his ways. He grabbed me by the wrist and stopped me completely, instantly gaining my attention.

"Walk with me, I have something to show you." The first part was more of a command than a question and despite my head screaming 'No!' I found myself nodding and obliging as I walked behind him.

We exited the retro café with thanks to Reno and a two free coffee's to go. I wondered how Riku knew Reno, but saved it as a question to ask him later. We walked through the non too busy streets with not a word between us, I was starting to feel uncomfortable as we walked through a familiar pathway that I believe I left behind four years ago.

Not before long, we found ourselves on the beach, though different to the one we were on a couple of day ago. This beach was the beach just me and Riku knew about and used to come to for 'serious matters' when we were younger. Seeing as Riku and I were the only ones, out of Wakka, Selphie Tidus and Kairi, who were actually born on the Islands, we had to have our own private places where we could talk to each other on our own.

This wasn't the only place though; we had secret places on the other islands also. The last time I came here was when… Riku's parents died. It was nice and quiet which is probably why we came here in the first place. It was right at the end of the beach underneath the pier. Not a lot of people knew about this place because it was so far off by the town that people seemed to ignore it and not bother walk all this way. It wasn't until quarter past nine that we actually reached here, but neither of us was complaining.

We used to only come here when there were serious problems going on with us. Say for example, if Riku was upset or something was troubling him, he would _always_ come here. He would always say that being under the pier is the best place to calm down because it blocks out the sun and allows darkness to take over with the soothing sounds of the ocean as company. Or something equally weird. I never understood why Riku ran though, he would rather run away from his problems then face them head on, but the sad thing is no matter what the circumstances are, I will _always_ come running.

Silence was all that I had achieved by going out with Riku, and I thought that I would be mad or deafened by it, but in some way, it was quite nice… peaceful even. We sat on the shaded sand and stared out into the ocean. Our coffee's were abandoned long ago and all that could be heard was the tender noise of the ocean swaying along with the light wind.

I wondered briefly the last time it was like this. Just me and Riku in a comfortable position in a comfortable silence as friends. I looked over to my left to see that he was lying down with his eyes shut peacefully and his hand propped conveniently behind his head. I, too, laid down and let the silence take over.

We lay like that for hours, I was wondering whether he was sleeping or not, his breathing seemed even and he hadn't moved an inch. Rolling onto my side to get a better look at him, I took in every little feature about him from his angelic face all the way down to his covered toes. We were lying at a distance from each other so I shuffled forward to get closer. I have no clue why I felt the need to get closer to him, but I did, and when the silverette showed no sign of moving, I relaxed and laid back down.

"I was wondering when we would get a chance to do this again." His languid voice cut through the silence like a seraph singing in a church. I opened my eyes to look at him, though; his teal were still held captive behind those eyelids. My mouth remained shut, I wanted to say something but I didn't, I wanted him to continue without me prompting him. "A chance to be here with you and just… not worry about anything or anyone."

"What are you talking about?" To my surprise, my voice, too, sounded as though I was on the verge of sleep.

"All this time I've been worrying about what I should do and how I should live. It drives me crazy and sometimes I feel as though I'm about to explode. I even come here sometimes just to escape it all, but it never actually works... But for some reason, being here with you… I can relax and reminisce on the times when my life actually used to be good… and all those memories have you in them Sora."

My heart must have been beating so loudly that it echoed throughout the silence. Here Riku was spilling his guts out to me and all I could do was stare at him in awe. I never actually thought once what he must be going through. Sure I suspected that things were up with him once he stopped talking to us, but I just ruled it off as he needed space away from us. I knew it probably isn't the best choice, but I wanted to pry a bit more and find out what he meant or means. "Riku?" I started, my voice just as soft as his was.

"Sora, I'm sorry." He whispered. This caused me to prop myself up on my elbows and give him an incredulous look. His eyes remained shut and he didn't seem to move or anything.

"For what?" I asked dumbfounded. I knew what he was apologizing for, but I wanted to hear him say it and explain to me why he left me in the first place. I just wanted to know the truth and probably help him.

I didn't get an answer, and some part of me wanted to get up and leave, that was the smart part of me, but as usual the 'spontaneous' part of me got its way and forced me to stay with Riku. It wasn't until a couple of minutes after I heard light snoring noises coming from him and realized that he was actually asleep. I checked my phone briefly and found out that the time had already gone midnight and to my surprise, there were not any messages or missed calls from Roxas.

I shrugged and ruled it off as he was probably with Axel or something and too busy to check up on his favorite brother. As I lay next to Riku, I came to understand what he was saying when he was talking about feeling relaxed. This was probably the first time in ages that I actually felt relaxed enough to forget about problems I have at both home and school, and remain calm with someone else…

Remain calm with Riku.

My eyelids got heavier with every second that passed and the last thing I remember was watching Riku's sleeping form before joining him in a stress less slumber.

**: :**

I could feel heavy breathing on my face which caused me to open my eyes, albeit reluctantly, to none other than Riku's glimmering face. The silverette was straddling me and his face was mere inches away from mine. I know for a fact that I wasn't dreaming as there was a rock on my back that was constantly giving my pain every time I exhaled. So what was Riku doing?

"Are you okay?" He asked me, curiosity was hinted in his voice but was overshadowed by concern.

I looked back at him bewildered. "Of course I'm alright, why wouldn't I be?" I asked and then it was him that gave me the whole 'WTF' look.

"Because, you were calling my name in your sleep, again might I add, and when I tried to wake you up you would yell 'you're hurting me!'"

Oh Crap.

"Well I'm fine." I felt too uncomfortable with our positions, and politely shoved Riku on me. My eyes cast downwards and to my relief, it wasn't one of _those_ dreams. I don't even remember having a dream. I panicked and got my phone out of my pocket, it was three o' clock in the morning and I have school in a matter of hours. Just fantastic. I quickly got up without a word to Riku and started walking back home with Riku right behind me.

**: :**

By the time I reached home, it was already turning six o' clock in the morning. Riku walked me back this time and as I expected, we walked the whole journey in silence. I opened the front door with my key and entered as quietly as I could. I felt like a teenager sneaking in from a party with his and trying not to wake his parents. But I don't have my parents: I have Roxas.

I wanted to make my way to the kitchen to get a coffee before I had a shower, but a clearing of the throat coming from the living room stopped me completely. I sighed deeply and mentally prepared myself from the torturous lecture I knew I was going to get from my twin. My eyes closed on their own accord, as I exhaled, and I regretfully opened the door that leads to the family room.

"Look Rox, I'm sor-" I stopped mid sentence as soon as I saw who it was. Blue orbs widening at the sight.

Leon. My older brother

He sat in the dark of room on one of the couches with his leg folded over the other and his stormy grey eyes staring at me angrily.

Crap.


	5. Like What You See?

**Hopelessly I'll Love You Endlessly**

**Disclaimer:**As I sit here, eating my spinach, I wonder what it would be like if I actually did own the game. I would have at least three houses in Japan, force the games out in every country, and then take over the whole world. Now, seeing as none of that has or will happen, I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

**AN:** I don't know what to say about this chapter. I don't know if I like it or not... I'll let you guys decide. Thanks to everyone who has reviewed. They mean a lot to me so keep em coming and enjoy the fiction. 8D

**Chapter Five**

**Like What You See?**

If there was ever a moment to be shot right then and there on the spot… It would be the minute I looked into my older brother's eyes.

I felt like I was in one of those Godfather movies, where the big guy is sitting on the chair in the dark and everyone is intimidated by him, because he's the one who decides your fate. That is exactly how I how I felt.

I could feel his hard gaze following me as I shamefully seated myself on the couch opposite him. Those stormy grey eyes sent thunderbolt after thunderbolt into my soul and they were the only sign of proof I had that the man was still alive as the rest of his body still hadn't moved. The silence that filled the room was unbearable, and I had to break it fast. "_Heeey_ Leon, h-how have you been?" I asked him with high hopes that he wouldn't be as mad as I anticipated, my voice toned with anxiety. As soon as I asked the question, his fingers stopped tapping on the arm of the chair and joined the other one across his chest.

"Me? I'm great Sora. In fact let me tell you about my day and night for that matter; I woke up, I went to work, I get a call from Lulu saying that Dad's been out of town for a couple of days and no one has eve bothered to tell me. _Then_ I took a four and a half hour journey back to Destiny Islands, which was unbelievably annoying itself, let alone the idiotic people that boarded the coach _and_ train. _Then_ I come back to here, my home only to find no one here at all, but mind you, by the time I got here it was only nine o clock."

Even though some parts of what he was saying was filled with sarcasm, he still kept the same stoic voice that never seemed to disperse even when he's angry. That just put me more on edge. "Leon I'm-" I tried to apologize, but the minute that index finger came up to stop me, my voice seemed lost and I was forced to comply.

"But do you know what the funny thing is Sora?" A rhetorical question, I didn't bother lift my head from the ground and just waited for the answer. "I waited and waited and waited, the hours went on by and there wasn't any sign of either of you. So I sat here and waited some more, and eventually three o' clock in the morning came around and Roxas stumbles in, high on coffee and covered in confetti of some sort. _Then _three hours later _you_ waltz in and neither of you have gotten a decent night sleep and have school in a couple of hours. Whereas I on the other hand stayed up _all_ night worried out of my skin and didn't even get one phone call from you guys.

Meet overprotective brother number two: Leon. Ever since Roxas and I were younger, Leon's always lived up to the whole 'big brother' expectations and looked after us when dad couldn't. If ever there was a problem Leon would sort it out and whenever any of us needed him, including dad, he was there for us in a second. The grey eyed brunette has done a marvellous job at taking care of us all, but sometimes he tends to be too caring, which would surprise some people if I told them that, but it's true.

"Leon, I'm sorry. I didn't even know that you were here," He looked like he was about to say something but I quickly stopped him. "And I know that that's not even an excuse because you don't have our cell phone numbers or anything, but I really am sorry. It will never happen again, I promise." I swore.

For the first time since coming into the living room, Leon looked away from me and closed his eyes whilst pinching the bridge of his nose. "Just, do whatever you have to do for school, and I'll talk to you – _both_ of you – when you get home." I nodded and rose from my seat to do exactly as he said. "And _don't_ make any noise around my bedroom okay?" I nodded once more before making my way back to the door.

I heard him sigh and instead of walking straight out the door like he asked, I sauntered over to my brother and gave him a thankful hug. At first I think it caught him a little of guard and had to wait a good three seconds before I actually got a reaction, but when I finally did, I breathed in his scent and was grateful that my older brother was here. "Thanks Leon, it's good to have you back."

He patted me on the back and I pulled away then he smiled. It was a small smile, and I almost didn't see it due to the darkness in the room. "You're almost a bad as Roxas," He joked, "He did the exact same thing you did except he nearly broke down and started crying." I started to laugh and returned the small smile he gave me. "I'm going to bed okay, you get ready for school. Tell Roxas that I'll speak to him when he gets back from school also okay?"

"Okay, goodnight Leon."

"Goodnight Sora." I walked out of the room and down the hall to the kitchen. Roxas was rocking back and forth on one of the stools already dressed for school and eating a slice of toast.

Now, giving Roxas coffee was like giving a monkey a chainsaw: no good would come and you could expect complete and utter destruction. I doubt he's known my presence yet so I slowly backed away from the kitchen with hopes that he ha-

"Sora!" He yelped. I cursed under my breath as the blond saw me and used his hands to usher me back into the room. "Come in come in! Tell me all about your date. Did you just get home now? Leon's back by the way and he's mad but that's not important would you like some coffee?"

Instead of waiting for me to answer any of his questions or even comprehend any of what he was saying, he jumped to the espresso maker and started making me a drink. "Roxas, what exactly did you _do_ last night?" I asked as I seated myself down on the stool that he currently was on.

"Well I went to see Axel but he said that he had to go to work for his brother and I was like 'okay' but he was like 'you can help me if you like' so I did and did you know that his brother _owns_ Scarlets? He told me that you met him before you ran off with some guy is there something you're not telling me Sora? Anyways once I started working there I was allowed to have as many coffees as I wanted and so I did but I tried a load of different ones so that I could taste new ones and they were all absolutely amazing!" He claimed.

Seeing Roxas like this seemed rare and quite animated. It takes quite a lot to get the blond excited, not even alcohol makes him go loopy, but give him a couple of cups of coffee and he's off. Hayner would be having a field day if he saw stoic sensible Roxas like this. He continued to ramble on and I gave up completely on trying to piece together all of what he was saying, and instead thought about Riku.

Last night was really… unexpected. Riku and I hardly spoke at all _but_ in some weird way, I don't think we needed to. With expectations of finally talking to my best friend then getting close to nothing, you would expect me to be mad or disappointed or something. Hell even I expect to be disappointed, but I'm not. I'm actually quite relieved. Being with Riku at our old spot was reassuring to me that there was some way I could relight an old flame with him. He seems more approachable now and no matter what today at school, I will talk to him.

"-And then Zexion turned up and he and Axel got into an argument but then Reno said that Zexion could stay with them for a while and don't you think that I've forgotten about some this whole running off with some guy – Who was he? And where did you go and what did you do _bear_ing in mind that I _am_ your brother and I don't need you to go into too much detail about what you did last night."

"It was no one Rox, just friend don't worry and we didn't _do _anything. We just hung out that's all. Besides, why did you drink so much coffee? By the time we get back home from school you'll be tired beyond all belief, haven't you slept at _all?"_ I asked, not realizing that I gave my twin even more reason to go on.

He nodded frantically. "Yep before I met with Axel actually I was going to get to sleep after I saw Leon but I decided to clean my room and yours just for the hell of it and-"

"Okay Rox slow down. I'm going to go have a shower now okay?" I saw his pout and chuckled to myself. I swear to God that this is the last time he has anything coffee related. "Why don't you go and read a book or something?" He nodded and made an attempt to leave through to the dining room. "But be quiet, Leon went to bed to finally get some sleep and he doesn't want to be disturbed at all. Oh and Roxas, at least _try_ and calm down, you don't want to be a big bag of hyperness when you get to school."

"Yes sir," He saluted me off and headed into the direction of the dining room. I went opposite him through the hallway and up the stairs to have my long awaited shower. Leon's room, which was now the guest room, was on the downstairs floor, so I made sure to keep extra silent so that I didn't interrupt him from slumber. Leon's grouchy when he gets no sleep, but even grouchier when you try to distract him from getting _to_ sleep.

Once I reached my room, I began to peel the clothes from yesterday off and prepared myself for the shower. I set my school clothes out on my clean bed (thanks to Roxas) then went into the bathroom to free myself of the sand and dirt from last night.

During my shower, I couldn't help but think about how pieces that were broken away from my life long ago are finally being coming back together and making me feel more at… home. Leon's back for a while, and even though the stoicism had increased twofold, it's still nice to have him back. Riku's talking to me, well kind of, and I guess he's opening up to me more now. It's a slow process and it's gradual, but at least it's getting there. All I have to be is patient.

Something that doesn't happen often with me.

I didn't get out of the shower until seven o clock in the morning. School didn't actually begin until nine o clock, so I still had time to kill. As soon as I was dressed in my dreaded school attire I headed downstairs and remade myself a new hot coffee. I don't usually drink the caffeinated stuff, but when I do, I have to have at _least_ five sugars just to make it tolerable. An irritable sigh released its way from my lips as I hunted through my fridge and found nothing appropriate to eat. You know, maybe it wasn't a good idea to blow most of the money my dad left behind on the party.

Knowing that Roxas was in my dad's office, I was just about to ask him for some spare munny when the house phone started to ring. Who in their right minds would be calling our house at seven o clock in the morning? The nearest phone to me was in the hallway, but so was Leon's room. I practically ran to the mechanical device and answered it before it could make any more noise. "Hello?" I half whispered half shouted down the phone. I'm just thankful that it was a cordless one so I took it with me upstairs and waited for a reply. I was able to reach my room and there was still no answer, but I could hear someone breathing on the other line. "Hello?" I repeated, slightly confused.

Laughter. "Sorry Sora, it was too good of an opportunity to pass up." I heard Roxas splutter out on the other line.

"Roxas! You nearly woke Leon up. Do you want to be the one to deal with his bad moods?" I asked with a tone of annoyance hinting in my voice. "You seriously need to lay off the coffee man, trust me. That's the last time you're allowed in that place." I swore and hung up on my twin as soon as I heard him whine down the phone. Throwing the device on the bed, I was able to reach the door before it started ringing again. I thought about leaving it to ring on, but if the noise was faint here, then it would be louder outside Leon's room. I growled then got to the device once more. "Roxas I swear to god I'll kick your-"

"Sora?" Instead of the hyperactive voice I thought I was going to be met with, I was in fact met with a soft seductive one. That voice… It got my attention instantly, and even though some people claim that you sound different over the phone, this one sounded completely foreign as I haven't heard it like this in ages. But it was undeniably recognizable.

"Riku?" I asked incredulously. If this was Roxas playing some kind of sick joke, he would have thought I was crazy for saying Riku's name of all names. But I was reassured that it _was _Riku once the voice spoke again.

"Did you get any sleep?" He answered my question with his own. Something I was more than happy to answer to.

"Nope, didn't see the point."

"Yeah, me either." There was a brief pause before any of us bothered to speak. I was going to ask him why he called me, but he got to speak before I could. "Look, Sora… I was wondering if you would maybe… I dunno, perhaps…" He sighed then spoke again. "Would you walk to school with me?" He asked.

I've said it before and I'll say it again; it is the weirdest thing hearing Riku sound really nervous around me. It seemed like it took him a lot to ask me that simple question which he and I both knew the answer to. Without giving it another second, the words: "Okay, Sure." Came from my mouth and we hung up on each other with out another word.

I held the phone to my chest for a good minute with a goofy smile plastered on my face. Four years, it's been four _years_ since I had the chance to walk with Riku. It wasn't even a chance back then, it was a natural thing, something we done everyday and now… now I get to relive the past. Even if it is for only one tiny ten minute walk, at least it'll be with Riku.

Racing downstairs without even thinking, too high on excitement, I quietly yet rapidly went to my dad's study, to tell Roxas that I was leaving now. When I got to the room, my twin was swinging merrily on my dad's chair, going round and round like a carousel and talking on his cell phone, most likely to Axel no doubt. "Hey Rox, I'm going to school early okay?" I told him, not exactly lying but not exactly telling the truth either. He nodded his approval, even though I didn't need it, and went back to swinging and talking. "Try to calm down, drink some water or something okay?" I half asked half commanded. He used his hands dismissively at me for me to leave. My brother could be such a teenage girl sometimes.

My schoolbag was ready and waiting by the door for me to collect. Before leaving the door, I made sure that everything was okay. Don't ask me why, but we have a ceiling to floor mirror in our cloakroom. I checked to make sure that my hair was spiky (not that I could help that), my face was clean and my teeth were as white as the purest sugar. Once I deemed that everything was right and in order, I grabbed my bag, left my house, and cheerfully made my way to Riku's house.

Walking through the empty streets of Destiny Islands felt kind of strange. I was used to seeing the place packed with tourists and families looking around to satisfy their intentional needs. I remember coming here once or twice when I was younger with Roxas, Leon and my dad. We would usually come here in the mornings and talk about mom. Dad said that she used to love coming here in when hardly anyone was up so that she could admire the beauty of Destiny Islands when there was hardly any one around. Unfortunately, Roxas and I never got the chance to meet her because she died a couple of months after we were born. Leon was five when it happened and apparently remembers nothing when we ask him about it.

My mom, Sienna, passed away, that much is known. But whenever I try to find out what happened to her exactly, either Leon would get all sad then mad or my dad would do the same but drink himself into oblivion so he could forget. It is quite frustrating that I had no idea what actually happened to my mom, and judging by the way my dad and older brother react whenever we, Roxas and myself, bring the subject up, I know it's not a pretty story. But I – _we_­ – have the right to know. I don't know whether they don't tell us to protect us or to save themselves heartache but Roxas and I are big now. We're too old to just go along with the whole 'heaven decided they wanted their angel back' cover up.

I think that's how I got my friends in the first place. Riku's known me since I was born and was kind of forced into my family, but at the time his wasn't broken at all. Selphie can't stand her parents because they try too hard to force her to be a perfect daughter with perfect grades and perfect attitude for life. Though she has both her parents, as does Kairi. The auburn haired girl loves her dad because he spoils her rotten sometimes, but her mom used to be a model and only really looks out for number one. There were times when she used to pressure Kairi into following her footsteps, but Kairi decided against it, at heart she was a tomb boy and liked to do non girly things.

Tidus' mom only pays attention to him when his dad, Jecht, isn't at home. But she's gotten so used to ignoring the blond that she sometimes does it even when Jecht isn't around. Tidus can't stand his dad because he's an attention hog and can get away with hurting the people he's supposed to love; nothing aggravates the blond more than that. There where times when he used to complain about Jecht's alcohol problem, but since Jecht is away at work a lot, there has been no talk about him whatsoever. As for Wakka, he is like Riku and has no parents anymore. His parents died in a plane crash when they were coming back to Besaid from Luca. That was when he, his older brother Chappu and Lulu came here to Destiny Islands. I guess we're all cursed or something, because none of us actually have a family we could brag about. I don't even know about my mothers own death, which still irritates me to bits, especially when a sympathetic person asks me 'how it happened' and I have no answer.

Getting wrapped in my own thoughts brought me to Riku's mansion quicker than what I had anticipated. A fifteen minute journey took me a five minute walk and I was pretty impressed with myself considering the fact that people say that I walk like a turtle. But all that self pride was quickly replaced with slight anxiety as I raised an insecure hand to knock on Riku's pristine white door. I knocked loudly at first and then remembered it was still early in the morning and some of his house residents might not be awake yet, so then I made them lighter.

Nothing. No one came to the door and I could feel the anxiety rising slightly. I shifted from one foot to the other before starting to grow impatient. I started to knock again, I could have rang the doorbell, but I didn't want to create more noise. I know what Riku's brother and cousins are like and they all, especially Loz, hate getting up earlier than intended. I found this out after spending too many nights at Riku's and making all types noise from night to morning. Ahhh great times. This time, the knocks were more persistent but they stopped and banged twice into mid air as the door gracefully swung open.

Instead of being met with luring aquamarine eyes and soft strands of silver, like I anticipated, my blue eyes immediately travelled their way downcast to a sweaty bare torso and an amazing six pack which made me stop and stare instantly. If this was a cartoon, I would defiantly be drooling and coming out with incoherent thoughts and sentences, because what I was gazing at had me mesmerized instantly. Other than the torso, everything else was (unfortunately) clothed but I couldn't tear myself away from those teasing muscles he seemed to carry, that were practically begging to be touched. If it wasn't for the smug chuckle I heard from above, I would have been lost in my thoughts of what that body and I could do together, and was forced to see Riku and his fine-looking face.

"Good. Now you know where my face is, let's try and keep it up here eh?" He winked. _Gods_ that wink was sexy. If he wanted me to look at his face then he shouldn't have a body that was built for staring and visage that was made for dreaming about. Great going Sora. So far the points for looking like a total idiot are one for you and zero to Riku. "Why are you here so early?" He asked bewildered a little, though, a smirk was still playing on his features. His question brought me out of my sarcastic self hatred. "We've still got ages to get to school, and I _know_ for a fact that you're hardly on time. Even though you live like ten minutes away from the school."

I glared. "It's not my fault!" I claimed, though we all know that it's not true. "You can't rush perfection." I smiled and triggered one from him. "Besides, you said you wanted to walk with me right? Consider this a bonus that we'll be on time." He rolled his eyes but kept the smile none the less and moved to let me in. He closed the door behind him and followed after me as I made my way to the most sociable room in the house: the kitchen. "So, why did it take you ages to answer the door?" I asked conversationally as I sat at one of the available chairs.

"Well, I literally got out of the shower as soon as you started knocking on my door, and instead of running downstairs in a towel, I quickly put on some boxers and school trousers and got to the door." He called as he returned from one of the rooms he was occupied in with a large ironing board under one arm, his school top folded over his shoulder and an iron in his other hand. "I hope you don't mind, I wasn't expecting you this early."

I watched him walk past me with wide eyes. I know I shouldn't have, but what would you do when a half naked _God_ was walking right past you? I could see the dimples in his lower back, and I didn't know that they had the power to do this but they were driving me crazy. Riku looked – no was – no _is_ – perfect. I shook my head, even though I knew he couldn't see as he had his tempting back facing me as he began to iron. "I don't mind," I answered, just about remembering that he actually said something to me.

There was a brief moment of silence, with him ironing his shirt and me staring like there was no tomorrow. "Like what you see?" He smirked, even though he wasn't looking in my direction, I just _knew_ he was smirking. His voice was soft enough to bring me out of my gaze and shake my head so that it started thinking some coherent messages.

"Don't be ridiculous," I started as he got to work on fastening his tie. "I was just wondering _how_ you've gotten so muscled. Did they just grow over night or something? You used to be scrawnier than me."

He laughed then shrugged, turning around to do his tie. "Guess I got lucky. And we both know that _that's_ not true about I used to be scrawnier than you. You were like a toothpick standing next to me" He joked as he chucked me a soda and started to pack away his equipment.

"Or maybe you were just fat." I murmured to myself as I opened the fizzy beverage.

"What was that?" He asked, obviously hearing my little joke to myself. I quickly raised the cool metal to my lips and began to drink my ice cold lemonade before he got to press the matter, earning a mock glare and a chuckle from him as he left the room once more.

Then I felt it again. That weird feeling that nothing has changed between Riku and me, as though the past four years was one long nightmare and hadn't really happened. Oh how I want that to be a reality. We won't be able to keep this up, this whole 'lets forget about the past' routine we seem to fall into around each other. As comfortable as it may be, and as nice as it is, we will have to talk. Riku's a runner. He runs. And he'll continue running from his problems instead of tackling them head on and facing up to it. But the only problem is, no matter how long the journey, how long the wait and how far the distance, I know that I will always come running after him, no matter what the circumstances. I could never _hate_ Riku, I mean, you know, I could really dislike him for some stuff and disagree with him. But never hate. People are right when they say that hate is too strong a word, its depth has more meaning than what people think, and yet we use it in our everyday speech. I try to avoid it as much as possible, unless we're talking about telephone salesman. _Gods_ I hate those guys.

Just then, Riku returned with two wrapped up sandwiches in his hands. "I'm guessing you didn't eat so… what would you prefer? Triple cheese and onion with white bread? Or…" He squinted as he looked at the fancy writing, trying to make out what the hell it said. "Chicken salad with mayonnaise with brown bread?" He pieced together. Taking my 'disgusted face' as a 'no' to the latter, he handed me the triple cheese and nodded his head in the direction he wanted me to follow. He led me to his family room, which seemed more like a hall with a couple of couches and an oversized TV which looked like a cinema screen. It was like being in a hospital ward, everything was white, the walls, the floors, the couches and even the art they had displayed little colour. But I guess this is what Riku's older brother, Sephiroth, is like.

He sat on the couch first and I sat down next to him and opened my beautiful smelling sandwich, immediately getting lost in the cheesy aroma. I took one bite from mine and noticed that he hadn't touched his yet, the wrapped food just swaying from hand to hand. I swallowed, "aren't you going to eat that?" I asked, taking another bite of my sandwich.

"Yeah," He said breathily, as he slowly started to open the wrapper and began eating his sandwich. He was already half between his before he paused and looked at me. "Sora, what would you say if I asked you to be my partner for the history homework?"

I looked disbelievingly. "You want _me_ to be your partner? But what about that Fuu girl that you usually work with?" I asked, taking a bite into my second sandwich.

"I only pick her because she doesn't talk, and by the grades she gets in that lesson, she doesn't pay attention either."

"Well I guess I can't help you there, I don't even know what the project is about." I noticed the look in his face dim down, it seemed kind of… rejected. "Not that I don't want to be your partner or anything, because I would love to." I sounded like he just proposed to me, _and_ I was looking desperate. I feel another point coming on for the whole 'looking like an idiot' thing. "I seriously didn't pay attention in that lesson at _all_, but if you tell me what to do, then I see no problem being your partner." I encouraged reassuringly. I saw him smile faintly, it was a small one but genuine, and that was good enough for me. Then he began eating his sandwich again in silence.

Sitting here with Riku, eating sandwiches and pretending like nothing was wrong, was really taking its toll on me. I wanted to say something… anything that would trigger a reaction from the silverette. But the timing didn't seem right at all. Despite the fact that we're in a private area where no one can really intervene in our conversation, Riku obviously wasn't ready to talk, he's just getting used to having me around again, but he will have to explain soon.

We spent the next half hour or so with Riku telling me what the history project entailed and the possible ways we could present it. I wasn't really listening much and nodded a couple of times if he addressed me personally. In all honesty, I could help but feel like there was something wrong. No one had come through the door to check on us, the house was seemed completely empty, and I became wondrous into thinking no one's been here for ages.

"Riku," I began as we were heading out the door to walk to school. "Where is everybody? Usually Sephiroth would be down by now preparing to go to work right?" I asked nervously once we were outside.

He shrugged as he locked the door and turned to look at me. "Seph's on some business trip or whatever. Kadaj and Yazoo are on holiday and Loz is out of town to open up a new business." He answered simply, as though there was nothing wrong with it.

"But, that means you're on your own." I told him as we began to walk. "How long have they been gone for?" I questioned, but he just kept his face as calm as normal.

"About two weeks, but I'm fine. Besides, aren't you home alone as well?"

"Well yeah I am – at least I _was_. Leon came back last night and now thanks to _you_ I'm in a load of trouble for coming back at six in the morning." I accused playfully, and he smiled. "But that's beside the point, what I'm saying is that you've been _home alone_ for two weeks, why didn't you tell someone?"

He rolled his eyes and sighed. "Because it's not much of a big deal, I'm eighteen; I think I can last a couple of weeks on my own. Besides, I like it when they're gone. It gives me time to think about… stuff _and_ its okay because I've got someone looking out for me." He said somewhat distantly. I thought about prodding him more into telling me what he meant by that and who is looking out for him, but decided against it. Like I said, all I have to do is give him time.

School seemed so far away as we walked in silence. Every time I kept on thinking of something to talk about to the older male, my mind drew a blank and instead focused on my surroundings. There was no doubt that we were going to be early for school seeing as it was the time that people usually wake up to get ready to go. The streets weren't as empty as they used to be as there were shops now open and people who were drunk from the night before crawling back to their houses. As usual, there were some that waved and some mildly shocked to see me walking with Riku.

As usual walking with Riku, we reached school in good timing (Not that we were going to be late or anything considering that the school was opened about twenty minutes ago), and walked past the gates effortlessly. We hadn't spoken since I asked him about being home by himself, and the silence wasn't either comfortable or uncomfortable it was… different. It felt as though was as though Riku wasn't there. We walked straight to our lockers, as though it was planned out or something. His locker used to be right next to mine, and it still is actually, but he never uses it. I always use my locker as though it was my life machine, and is constantly filled with my crap, half of which I doubt is even used for school.

It wasn't until I buried my head in my locker to retrieve my books for today's lessons that I had to ask "What happens now?" It was a question that was plaguing me the whole journey of walking with Riku. Was he going to start hanging around with us at lunch and at breaks? Was he going to start talking to us all again? I asked it quite lowly and when I did get a response it wasn't what I expected… better yet, from _who_ I expected.

"Who are you talking to man?" My eyes widened as I closed my locker door and looked into the familiar light blue yes of Tidus, and standing next to him was none other that Wakka. "And why are you here so early? You're always late." He offered with a smirk, though, I was too busy looking around for silver.

"Hey, are you okay there?" Wakka asked me, looking amused as my wide eyes scanned the area to find nothing – or rather no _one_ I was looking for. That's when his expression turned a bit more serious but not by too much. "Maybe you should go see Aerith ya? She's here already, sorting some flowers out or something."

Once it finally hit me that Riku wasn't here, I caught on to what Wakka said and disregarded the matter with a wave of my hands. "No it's okay, I thought that someone was here, but as per usual, they ran away." I said sullenly, more to myself than the perplexed two.

"_Ookay,_" Tidus said slowly, trying to change the subject. "Well Kairi and Selphie are here already in the cafeteria, they were complaining because _someone's_…" He looked purposely at Wakka, who faced away instantly at the ceiling, purposely ignoring the blonds stare. "…guardian went around and told everyone's parents about the party we all had."

"It's not my fault ya. If Selphie's planned hadn't backfired then we would all be alright." He defended, earning a smirk from the blond as we knew his defensive mode was useless. "Besides, who was it was complaining about not doing anything inventive for their party huh?" He playfully got Tidus in a headlock and started rubbing hoarsely on his hair.

"Hey dude, Lemme go! You're ruining my hair."

"Not until you admit that it was all technically your fault ya," Wakka commanded triumphantly. I think that they forgot that I was in the room.

After a few more messy stands of gelled blonde became more apparent, Tidus caved. "Alright, alright! It was my fault okay. Just let me go." With that Wakka released the blue eyed blond with his hands triumphantly on his hips and a proud face. Once Tidus sorted out his hair he turned to look at me, (but not before giving Wakka a glare) and grinned. "So what _are_ you doing here again?"

"I uh… woke up early and decided I might as well come to school early." I half lied half told the truth.

"For once," Tidus murmured, loud enough for me to hear, and earned a playful shove in return as we began walking down the hall.

"And why are you guys on time?" I shouldn't have asked it, I knew what they were doing here, but my mouth obviously failed my mind and spoke anyway. They both looked at me unbelievingly.

"For practice durr." Tidus told me. "Are you sure you're alright man? Kairi says that you've been kind of distant lately?"

Distant? Kairi thinks that I'm being distant. I would never want to be distant from her, not that I have a choice half the time, but I'm always with her and I love having her company. "Why does she think that?" I asked kind of shocked.

Tidus shrugged, "she said that yesterday you totally bailed on her at lunch, she didn't walk home with you after school and when she called your house phone Roxas said that you were out on a date." Damn it Roxas. I made a mental note to kill my twin once Leon was through with us.

"So who's the lucky girl?" Wakka asked me as I reached the cafeteria door. "Someone we know ya?"

I rolled my eyes. "I wasn't on a date; I just went out of the house to check out that new Café on Midnight Close, you know, Scarlets?" They nodded slowly, falling for my half truth half lie again.

"I've been there once man, it was so totally awesome. I heard that downstairs they have this like room where you can hear people play songs and that, and there is even room for dancing, But that's like at midnight onwards… Only for the people who are actually _allowed_ to be outside past midnight and all that." He said sadly. We all hated being seventeen. We're at the age where we're supposed to be having fun and when the elderly wish they could go back to being this age. Unfortunately for us, we have school work to fret about, money we want but can never have, friends and family we feel like we have to take care of twenty-four seven and a future to think of.

Being a teenager sucks.

"Well, we better be off before Coach threatens to shave all our hair off and force us to eat it again." He said with an anxious smile, worried if the coach would actually make them do that. I swear, the boys take more care of their hair than the girls do, and that's saying something. "Later Sora!"

"Yeah, see ya at break brudda!" Wakka followed and soon they were out of my line of vision. I sighed deeply, mentally bracing myself for what I was going to say to the apparently worried females. Before I entered the cafeteria I took one more look around to see if there was any sign of the silverette, and not to my surprise, there wasn't.

I sighed once more and pushed the two large doors then entered into the lunch room. Just as Tidus said, the two females, and a few other kids, were already here and looked at me once I walked up to them. "Sora what are you doing here? You're always-"

"Late. I _know_." I interrupted Selphie before she could finish. My friends could be so predictable. "I woke up early and decided to come here." I answered, using my previous statement. I sat down next to the hyper brunette and opposite Kairi. "What are _you_ guys doing here?"

Selphie grinned. "Well, Kairi called me up yesterday complaining that – ow- that –ow- why are you kicking me?" She whined at Kairi, who gave her a 'you-better-not-tell-him-or-I'll-take-away-your-mascara' look, before smiling back at me.

"I heard you went on a date yesterday." Kairi stated more than asked me.

"It's not like that. It wasn't even a date, Roxas got it all mixed up as well. I went out to that Scarlets Café down town." I answered truthfully. Well… kind of.

"That still doesn't change the fact that you've been avoiding us Sora." Wow, she doesn't beat around the bush. "You didn't even walk home with me yesterday; I had to walk with that Seifer guy."

"Seifer?" I asked incredulously. "Why would you wanna walk with a jerk like him?"

"Because, he lives on my street and he was being nice to me. Anyways don't change the subject. Is it something we've done?" Hearing that question was reminiscent to what I asked myself about Riku. So many times, and so many different questions. There was no way I'm putting Kairi though that… not again. "We've already lost one good friend Sora; I don't want to lose you too." She said as though she was reading my thoughts.

"I'm sorry that you've been feeling this way Kai." I apologized sincerely. Her violet eyes shone out to me, and even Selphie's vibrant green had diffused due to the situation. "I haven't been doing it on purpose, I swear. I guess I've had a lot on my mind. But I'll tell you what, how about this weekend we all do something, just the five of us what do you say?" I questioned, hopefully they would take this as a sign for forgiveness.

Selphie smiled and chuckled, "I don't think we can Sora, seeing as we're all grounded for lying to our parents about the whole party thing."

Kairi rolled her eyes then giggled. "My dad went ballistic and my mom screeched the house down."

"Same," Selphie agreed. "My mom grounded me for a week for lying to her, then my dad grounded me for another week for drinking underage." We all laughed at how we were all getting in trouble for something that happened a week ago. "I think the only one's that didn't get in trouble was you and Tidus. You because your dad isn't at home, and Tidus because Jecht is."

"Oh contraire. My parents may not be at home, but _Leon_ is." I said his name darkly, as though it was dangerous or something, but when it comes down to Leon, 'dangerous' doesn't seem too far of an assumption. "Me and Rox are gunna get it when we get home." Selphie giggled but Kairi stared dreamily into mid air. I rolled my eyes, disgusted. "Kairi stop it, my brother is not hot!"

She's had this major crush on Leon since we started high school. It's creepy and weird, and I don't see what a happy young teenage girl would want to do with a miserable, old, (even though he's twenty two) man. "You're only saying that because he's your brother and because, he's a male."

I blushed at the last part, though thankfully none of them could see. I was able to murmur a "you're sick," which caused the females to laugh.

We remained in the lunch room talking about what we were going to do for summer vacation, but naturally I couldn't help but wonder if Riku would be here for that as well.

**: :**

History was my first lesson of the day. As I had arrived to school early, I was on time for first lesson as well, and waited patiently in my assigned seat for both Lulu and Riku to turn up. The first bell that alerted us to get to our lesson chimed and, as if on cue, a red coated man came in.

He glanced at me for one quick second before, wiping off the remains of yesterdays lesson off the board. The man had greyish black hair, and he looked older than most of the teachers that work at our school. Once of his eyes were closed shut and he wore small purple glasses that could be mistaken for spectacles. One of his arms, I noticed was wrapped up in his red robe thingy hand appeared as though it was broken.

The man then sat at Lulu's desk as the students started flowing in before the second bell went off, and I then saw what he wrote on the board.

**AURON**

It was **centred** and underlined boldly. He got a few stares from people coming in, but ignored them completely and stared at nothing in particular. Once the second bell went off, alerting anyone that if they were to still make their way to lesson they would be classed as 'late' and locked outside, the guy stood up abruptly and cleared his throat rather loudly.

I was surprised to see that it actually worked and he got our immediate attention. "My name is Auron." He stated plainly. His voice was deep yet…cool. "There will be no need for 'Mr.' or 'Sir.' Just Auron. Miss. Rune will not be in class this lesson or next." There was a loud shuffle of groans (mainly from the boys), which caused the oldest male to clear his throat once more. Once he was satisfied with the silence, he began talking again. "She has given me instructions about your project and what you have to do. You can ask me questions if you want, but _don't_ think that you I'm some substitute that has no idea what he's talking about. And _don't_ mess about in this lesson, because I can be far worse than Lulu." He warned.

Well I think I can officially say that this guy is nuts. It was his first day here, well as a sub, and he was already scaring half the class. His hazel eye kept visibly watching the class with no emotion whatsoever. I think what got everyone stoked was the fact that there was a large scar running down his closed eye, I can't believe I never noticed that on man until now.

Surprisingly enough, everyone did exactly as Auron said and got down to work without a word between us. I was just about to do start on the project what Riku told me that we would be doing together, but then I realized he wasn't going to be here.

He didn't come in for either of the bells and there was silence when he called out Riku's name for the register. Then realization hit me.

Riku wasn't coming back to save me from this lesson and I didn't even listen to his golden voice when he was explaining things to me. On top of that, this Auron guy was giving me the creeps.

Fan-freaking-tastic.

**: :**

**AN:** Okay, here's the situation. I need help, the only reason I made up that bogus story about them not knowing how their mother died is because I seriously had no idea either. I'm as much in the blank as both Roxas and Sora, so I'm in dire need for some ideas. I'm looking for something that doesn't relate to how Riku's parents died. So all ideas are welcome XD. Thanks for reading.


	6. Escape

**Hopelessly I'll Love You Endlessly**

**Disclaimer:**I wish I owned the games, Instead Square-Enix have that luxury.

**AN:**This chapter took longer than anticipated, but at least it's still here and existing lol. Thank you so much for the reviews, they really do motivate me to write more and they make my crappy weather seem brighter. I also want to thank people for their ideas for Sora's mother, they really have helped and I'm still open for more ideas. Seeing as I have no Idea where I'm going with this story, I am honestly grateful for the reviews and alerts. Welp, here's chapter six, hope you enjoy.

**Chapter Six**

**Escape**

Never before have I ever wanted a meteor to hit the classroom more than now.

This _Auron_ guy didn't let up his gaze from me at all. Even when I acted like I knew what the hell I was doing and scribbled down some old nonsense, I could feel that hazel eye pierce right through me and look through my soul. To be fair, it wasn't me entirely who he was watching, there were a couple of times when he caught some students gossiping about nothing in particular, and warned them to focus or else, but for the most part, I think he was waiting for me to actually _do _some work.

As I doodled on my blank page, my mind wandered to where Lulu could be. Wakka didn't mention anything about her not being in class today, but I guess he wouldn't as he hardly pays attention to his own teachers, let alone mine. Wondering why Lulu wasn't in class wasn't bothering me half as much as why Riku wasn't. He just disappeared into thin air the second Tidus and Wakka showed up. Where could he have gotten to so quickly? The halls were long and it was just a mystery why he felt like he had to abandon me like that without saying a word. I mean, if he didn't want Tidus and Wakka to see him, then he could have at least said something to me beforehand.

Maybe he's ashamed to be seen with me, or… not ready perhaps. The possibilities are endless and too much for me to handle right now. This _Auro_n guy was giving me the creeps. He kept his gaze focused solely on the class, and I could feel him watching me intently. It was as though he could tell I had no clue what the hell I was doing and was writing endless amounts of crap on my paper. I could be paranoid, but that's exactly how he was making me feel. I started looking around the room helplessly for a way to get out, and if someone had answered my prayers, a blue eyed slate haired genius walked into the history room.

Zexion walked straight over to Auron without giving the class a single look and handed him a piece of paper. The older male began reading the piece of paper immediately and that was the first time in the whole lesson that he actually averted his hazel eye onto something else.

That was my chance to move.

I stretched and yawned enthusiastically and waited to get Zexion's attention. He didn't even move, and carried on reading along with Auron. Scrunching up one of the papers in front of me, I threw it directly at him and hit him in the hair. One blue eye and one hazel both looked at me, both as stoic and uncaring as ever. "Sorry," I apologized quickly. "I was aiming for the bin." I pointed my finger in the direction of the bin that was leaning coolly against the side of the table where Zexion was standing behind. I got up from my seat to retrieve the paper and put it where I said. Zexion kept his eye on me the entire time and as I bent down to pick up the paper, I mouthed the words 'Get me out!' clearly.

He nodded once then turned back to Auron, who carried on reading as soon as I apologized, and I went back to my seat. The younger male whispered something in Auron's ear which earned him a quick nod in response. Auron then turned to the class and asked for a "Sora?"

"That's me sir- I mean Auron." I corrected myself. Did Zexion actually manage to do it?

"You're wanted in the principles office." He told me patiently. I nodded and gathered my stuff, ignored the "_Ooooooooh's_" I got from the remainder of the class, and followed behind Zexion out of that god forsaken classroom.

Once we were out of earshot, I sighed heavily. "Thank you _so_ much! That lesson was making me want to kill myself."

He chuckled "You've only had fifteen minutes with Auron and already you want to kill yourself? Though, I don't blame you, I got that reaction the first time I met him as well." Zexion admitted to me as we started walking down the abandoned halls.

"You know him?" I asked,

He nodded. "When I first came to Destiny Islands he helped me out a little by giving me food, shelter, money etcetera. In fact, if it wasn't for him, I wouldn't be in this school right now."

"I see," I said after a little while. "That seems nice of him. So why are you out of lesson? What did you say to get me out of lesson? And where are we heading?"

"I've got a free period, so I thought that I would study. I told him that the principle wanted to see you about Riku being out of lesson." My eyes widened at the silverette's name, but he didn't see it and continued. "And we're heading to the library."

"Wait a sec, where _is_ Riku? And why isn't he in History today?"

"You know, for someone so little, you sure know how to ask a lot of questions." He mused, "Riku _was_ in the principles office," I was just about to ask him why, but he cut me off by speaking again. "And before you ask, I don't know why. I was finding something to do for my first period, when he gives me a note and tells me to give it to Miss. Rune, but because she isn't in, I gave it to Auron."

We reached the library doors by the time he finished speaking. I had multiple questions racing through my mind like a marathon and I wanted to ask them to Zexion, but I knew that he didn't have the answers, so I kept them to myself. We seated ourselves at an empty desk near the far end of the room. Zexion conveniently pulled out a book on a higher class of biology, whereas I sat opposite him and played with my thumbs for a while. His viewable blue eye looked up at me after a while and then back down to his book. "I take it you want to talk."

It was more of a statement than a question, who knew he could be so observant? I started biting on my thumb nail, a habit I've had since I was little, and nodded in response. "Only if you don't mind?"

He folded a corner of his book and placed in gently on the table in beneath us. "I don't mind, you listened to me once, the least I could do is the same right?" He smiled to reassure me that he felt genuine about what he was saying.

A sigh released its way from my lips. Could I _really_ tell Zexion about how I'm feeling and what's going on with me? I haven't even told Kairi anything, and we never keep anything from each other. Zexion is a good guy; he's trusted me with his secret, so why can't I do the same about mine. "I've just been worried about Riku that's all."

He didn't look surprised or taken back by that question, and instead smiled a little more. That's the thing about Zex, Some people see him as that 'emo kid' or a social outcast who never shows any emotion and only thought is suicide or something like that just because of his appearance. It's a shame that no one actually takes the time to try and get to know him, because he honestly is a decent person, much more so than the 'popular people' in our school. "You guys used to be best friends didn't you?" He asked, bringing me out of my thoughts.

"Yeah, how did you know?"

He shrugged. "I could tell, you both seem to blush a little at the mention of the other." Just as he said this I felt my cheeks redden and cursed myself for proving him right. I nodded at his statement and buried my head downwards so I could hide the blush. "Why did you guys fall out?"

"I wish I knew." I murmured and thought that I was the only one loud enough to hear, but when I saw him nod slowly as if to say 'go on' I thought otherwise. Another sigh, "We used to be inseparable and I used to think that nothing could tear us apart." I looked away from Zexion and started fiddling with my thumbs again. "But, I was wrong. After a couple of weeks of me being a freshman in this school and Riku decides that he wants to be on his own and left me. I don't know why he doesn't want to be my friend but lately he's…" I stopped.

"He's?" Zexion repeated, trying to get me to move on with my problem.

"He's everywhere I go; I can't stop thinking about him."

Zexion looked deep in thought, his voice calm as he asked me. "Didn't Riku's parents pass the same time he stopped hanging around with you guys?"

I nodded. "Yeah, but I don't think that's got anything to do with it. I knew that back then, when the accident happened, that losing his parents hit him hard. But nowadays I sometimes think, and I know it sounds harsh, but I think that he doesn't care about their death." Zexion sent a minor cringe my way before his facial expression grew curious. "They died on November twentieth, and every year since then, my father and I go to their cemeteries to pay our respect, but Riku's never there. He doesn't change or bring flowers; he doesn't visit them. Nothing."

"Maybe it's too hard for him to go there. By the way he's behaving; it doesn't surprise me to see that he's the type to disguise his feelings." I nodded and listened to his words, after all, the guy is a genius. "If his parent's death didn't have anything to do with it, I would say that it would connect to why he doesn't talk to you guys anymore. It wouldn't make sense for people to just stop talking for no reason."

"Well that's Riku for you." I informed him sarcastically. "Besides, he stopped talking to us about two weeks after they passed, but I guess he could've still been grieving, he loved his parents a lot." I explained. "Anyways, that's not what's really bothering me. What's _really_ bothering me is that fact that whenever we speak, or see each other, he's out of sight without an explanation. I don't even know why but the times when I want to speak about it to him… I can't." I ran a hand through my unruly chocolate spikes then leaned into them as I propped my elbows on the table.

Zexion looked sympathetic. "Axel and I used to be indissoluble together also, and trust me; I know what it's like when your best friend refuses to speak to you."

"I heard that you're staying around his house now with his older brother."

Zexion chuckled at the memory, causing a smile on my face. "Yeah, Reno, Axel's brother, was in the children's home with us for a while, but when he became sixteen and we were only ten or eleven, he got out and we had to stay. Reno remembered that I was Axel's best friend, and when he found out that I was living on my own and not speaking to Axel, he offered me to stay with them, much to Axel's consternation." He laughed a bit heartier this time as he said that. "Axel was so irate it was like nothing had changed, apparently this was his punishment for avoiding work for Reno." He told me.

"Is he still not speaking to you?"

"Nope, I know Ax will come around and until then I'll just have to patient. But I'm not giving up." I nodded. "And neither should you Sora, trust me, if you believe Riku is worth fighting for then fight for him. You'll probably be surprised at how even-handed he could be."

"I used to know how he was, but recently, all we do is talk about nothing, and it's really frustrating because all I want is my best friend back. It's so hard watching him go by and not be able to say a word to him… all I want is to talk to him."

"I know exactly how you feel Sora, except for the fact that I'm in love with this person." I flushed immediately and hid my on the table. Zexion thankfully didn't notice and chuckled lowly to himself. As I expediently hid my face from him, I decided that I could both come clean and tell him that I do think that I harbour some feelings for him _or_ I could just laugh it off and keep it to myself. He continued and brought me of my decision deciding, "That would be weird though, if you… were…." He said the last couple of words slowly once he saw my expression as I looked up at him.

"You know, for a smart guy you sure do take your time to catch up." I joked sadly, and smiled, mirroring one from him.

"Are you sure?" He asked me.

"I'm not sure exactly, but I - I think I like him more than a friend. And I know it's stupid and completely impossible because I haven't spoken to him in like four years, but I can't help it. I see him differently and I like him more than I have for anyone else." I was actually quite surprised to hear the words flowing out of me easily like that. I think it's because he's Zexion and he's kind of in the same situation… kind of.

He nodded in understanding. There was a while before any of us spoke and I felt a little worried. "What are you going to do about this?"

I shrugged. "It's not that easy to do _anything_ when he runs away. I can't even tell him how I feel; he'll probably get scared and run or something. I might as well keep my feelings to myself, that way no one gets hurt." I declared, making Zexion roll his eyes.

"Except you," he stated immediately. "In fact, when I come to think about it if Riku keeps his feelings to himself then he must be hurting too."

"Doesn't he talk to you? I mean, you seem pretty informed about him. You're like the only person I see that actually talks to him." Zexion looked mildly surprised then amused. I knew exactly what he was implying. "No, no! Not that I've been spying or anything, it's just something I've noticed. Besides, didn't you say that you were speaking to him the day of the party?" He looked away defeated. "That's what I thought." I declared triumphantly.

"Other than that, you know I'm right. And though it may not seem that way, I think he does deserve to know, and soon. We've only got a couple of more weeks before he and I leave high school."

I didn't even think of that. In a matter of weeks he's going to be gone. He'll probably go to some high time fancy college where they get the best education and all that. The last I heard, he and Zexion were like the smartest kids in their grade and that statement doesn't shock me at all. I took twelfth grade history and English, and Riku is the like the master in history and Zex is the God in English. "I didn't even think of that." I mumbled to myself.

He sighed. "I know it's something you don't want to hear, but he's not going to a college in this world," It's official, this guy can read minds. "Which should be more than enough of an incentive to get you to talk to him properly," I was about to argue back, but he beat me to it. "Even if he doesn't talk, then make sure that _you_ do at least."

"Promise me that you won't tell anyone, not Riku not Kairi _no one_."

A warm smile then a cute chuckle. "I promise, but I advise you not to be like Riku and bottle your feelings up, sooner or later you're going to have to tell him. You can always talk to me, and I know you know where to find me."

The bell rang and silenced the two of us for a second, before we started gathering our stuff and began to leave for our lessons. I thanked Zexion for listening to me once we left the library and I swear déjà vu never hit me so hard. We parted ways and I told him that I'd see him in English after break.

**: :**

I looked into deep blue irises uncertainly as we stood outside our house door. Those oceanic blue rolled then a sigh was heard. "Look, I'm not making any promises, I mean we _both _came in a ridiculous times yesterday-"

"This morning actually." I informed him

His eyes rolled again. "That's beside the point. The point _is_ that no matter what we're in trouble so he's bound to be mad."

I looked at him incredulously. "That's amazing how you can be so pessimistic but sound so optimistic at the same time." Another sigh released itself from my brother's lips then he reached out to touch the door handle. "Wait," I cried, stopping him immediately and gained his annoyed attention. "What if he tells dad?" I asked as I began chewing on my thumb nail, I've really gotta stop doing that.

"Then he tells dad, it's no big deal. It's his own fault anyway, so stop worrying and look sharp." He ordered and swatted my thumb out of my mouth. I pouted but it was ignored then disappeared completely as Roxas opened the door, and I sighed, preparing for my doom. The house seemed empty, but we knew that someone was in because the door was unlocked. That just made this deep feeling in my stomach evolves stronger. Roxas had somewhat calmed down and was looking rather tired actually. It serves him right for drinking so much coffee. "Leon? Leon we're home!" He called into the empty space.

There was no answer, so I got my hopes up. "Oh well, he's not here, might as well go out and wait for him to return." I was about to turn around and merrily walk out of a door when a hand pulled out to my collar and yanked me back.

"Sora he's in the living room so stop being such a baby and get this over with."

"How can you be so calm? You know what Leon's like when we're left on our own."

"Like I said, it's not our fault." I was just about to argue back that it _is_ our fault, but Roxas' loud cries for my older brother halted me immediately. "Leon? Are you even here?" Roxas faulted on the last word as he opened the door to the living room and walked in slowly.

The change in Roxas' demeanour caused me to feel slightly nervous. Why is it always a room I walk in when something bad goes on? "Roxas?" I whispered anxiously and followed after him into the room. "What's going-" I didn't even get too finish my sentence as my line of vision fell upon another blonde sitting coolly on one of the sofa chairs in our living room. I looked at Roxas who was looking at the man curiously.

The man sat in the exact same manner as what Leon was earlier on today; one leg folded over the other and a cup of coffee resting on the arm chair which was being swirled by his hand and a spoon. The only difference was that this man was reading a book and seemed none too interested to see me and Roxas there. I doubt he even looked up from his book once Roxas came into the room. His hair was blonde and, dare I say it, spikier than mine. I couldn't make out his eye colour because he was still reading his book, but he wore a sleeveless black knitted jumper with black baggy pants. I thought he was mental to be wearing so much in this weather, but the dull expression he gave the book told me that he didn't care. "You're brother has gone to the groceries, he'll be back soon though."

"And you are?" Roxas asked confused and impersonally to this guy.

"Cloud." He answered then turned a page in his book. "I'm a friend of Leon's." He offered as a way to reassure us that he wasn't some kind of mental person breaking into other people's houses.

But Roxas, as usual, wasn't convinced. "Is that right? So how come he's never mentioned you before?"

A small smirk which was accommodated with a matching titter was his response. "I guess he wouldn't." He closed his book and finally looked up at both of us. I got a look at his amazing blue eyes and an earring in his right ear. This _Cloud_ guy reminded me a lot of Roxas, but I don't think I'll be telling him that any time soon. "I take it your Roxas, and that must make you…" He looked past Roxas and straight at me, "Sora right?"

This Cloud guy seemed genuine; actually, he reminded me a lot of Leon with his uncaring tone and stoic attitude towards us. He even knew our names, so he must be who he said he was otherwise why else would he be sitting in our front room drinking coffee? I nudged past Roxas and gave him a glare for being so rude and made my way to Cloud, my arm extended for him to shake, which he did. "It's nice to meet you Cloud, I apologize for Roxas." There was 'hmph' from my twin, which was ignored. "He's always like this once he's had too much coffee."

He smirked and withdrew his hand. "Like someone else I know." He murmured loud enough for me to hear. I knew he was talking about Leon; both of them when they've had barely any sleep are too grouchy to communicate with. Cloud returned to reading his book as Roxas and I sat on the sofa waiting for our brother.

There was a brief uncomfortable silence before anyone spoke, though; I wish the silence was kept once Roxas started speaking. "So, how long have you known my brother?"

"A while," replied Cloud, his voice as even as Roxas'. "He'll be back soon, so you can ask him yourself when he gets back."

"Did you spend the night here?" Roxas' tone was cold, and Cloud and I both knew that he wasn't warming up to him any time soon. Honest to god, my brother could be such an idiot sometimes. In fact, both of them are too overprotective. Despite Roxas being younger than Leon, he doesn't let his age get in the way of his protection over us and doesn't like it when Leon brings someone back to the house. Last time he brought back his girlfriend, Rinoa, and all they did was argue constantly. Rinoa was way too bubbly for Roxas, and Roxas was way to boring for Rinoa. Needless to say they never got along.

"Yes," Cloud replied insensitively. He was good at keeping Roxas unimpressed, and I found myself liking him even more. Usually, most people, whether they are Leon's or my dad's friends, would try their damned hardest to get either mine or Roxas' exception, and would fall head over heels to try and get us to like them. Where I'm fair and would give practically anyone a chance, Roxas would be difficult and set a series of tasks for them to accomplish in order to get his approval.

Nudging him with my elbow, I forced Roxas' glare onto me before he could say another word to Cloud. I gave him my best determined and hard look as if to say 'do as I say' then spoke, "Will you _stop_ interrogating Cloud? He hasn't done anything wrong so drop it." I whispered and ordered, even though I knew he wouldn't.

"I don't like him." He whispered back forcefully. "He seems too…too…"

"Much like you?" I offered.

Roxas scoffed at my remark. "Don't be ridiculous. I just don't trust him that's all."

"Well Leon seems to if he's leaving him alone with us so just lay off."

"You know, you guys aren't all that good at whispering." Clouds calm voice brought mine and Roxas' attention towards him as he rose from his seat, drink in one hand and book in the other. "If it bothers you that much, I'll go and read in Leon's room." He told both of us though it was more directed at Roxas.

Cloud made an attempt to leave, but my warm hand on his cold bare arm forced him to stop in his tracks. "No Cloud, honestly sit and read, Roxas doesn't know what he's saying." I ignored the 'hmph' (yet again) that I received from Roxas, and instead focused my sight on the darker blue orbs in front of me.

Cloud quickly looked at Roxas, who folded his arms and looked away, then looked back at me before resting a hand on my shoulder. "That's okay Sora, with the look your brother is giving me, I'm surprised that daggers haven't flown out at me." He whispered before looking at Roxas once more. "It was nice meeting both of you." He said to both of us.

I smiled apologetically at him before he turned around and left me alone with Roxas in our living room. Picking up one of the nearest cushions, I threw it at Roxas and hit him dead in the face. "What is your problem?" I demanded, "He's done nothing wrong and you had to be your usual jackass self. This is just like Rinoa all over again."

Roxas rolled his eyes and made room for me to slump back down on the couch. "Don't bring her up again, _please!_" He mock begged me. "That woman was too animated and nowhere near right for Leon. You and I _both_ know that."

"So how is Cloud like Rinoa?" I asked perplexed.

"He's not; I just don't trust him that's all." He answered simply.

"I know that, but my question is _why_? You don't even know him."

"And neither do you." He countered. "For all you know Cloud could be some raging stalker guy who's only dream in life is to kill two brunettes and one blond. Did you ever think of that?"

To say that I looked at him incredulously would be an understatement. "No, because it's the most ridiculous thing that I've ever heard, and besides, are you really going to doubt Leon's judgement in people." I asked innocently and in return I got a look as if to say 'durr!' Now it was my time to roll my eyes. "Well I like Cloud, and so does Leon so get used to it, besides, they're only friends, and it's not as if Leon is gunna go off and marry him now is it?" I asked him, a small smile playing on both our faces.

"Can you imagine Leon in a wedding dress?" Roxas asked, and then we both began to laugh at the thought of our brother in any form of female clothing.

"I should hope not." The voice was not our own and instead Leon himself, looking somewhat amused as he leaned against the door frame coolly, then sauntered across the room to sit where Cloud previously was. Roxas and I quickly regained our posture and stared at our brother with wide anticipating eyes. Once he was comfortable, he looked at us with hard grey eyes, face completely void of any emotions as usual and spoke. "So, who wants to tell me who done what first?" I looked at Roxas to go first, because I sure as hell wasn't, then looked back at Leon. "Fine. Roxas, because you came in first last night, you go." He ordered patiently.

The blond sighed, before muttering some incoherent words and giving me a quick glare. I would have smile broader than a Cheshire cat if I wasn't afraid Leon would cut it straight off. "Okay well," he began, "Sora and I were supposed to stay in actually and have a brother day or whatever, but he said that he was going on a date-"

"I did not go on a-" I interjected, but was cut off just as quickly.

"-So I fell asleep for a while, before I met up with Axel, my new friend, and we ended up working at this new coffee place called Scarlets. Reno, Axel's brother, owns the place so he said that I could work there with Axel on weekends and stuff. It's a twenty-four seven place so that's why I was late. I didn't think that I needed to call Sora because Reno said that he left a while ago with some guy." Up until that last part, Leon looked uncaringly and unfazed by his story. But Roxas had to land _me_ in it. Great. Leon is going to forget all about Roxas and focus on me, I mean, what would your older sibling do if you came in at six in the morning and found out that you spent the night with some guy?

"Is this true Sora?" Leon asked me, a russet brow rose in moderate interest.

I could just feel the smugness emitting from Roxas onto myself. It was as though it was a smell overflowing my senses and it made me want to punch him. I've got to find some new less sneaky friends and family. Both sets of blue were boring into me, waiting for an answer. "Yes but it wasn't a date and it wasn't what you think it was." I assured them.

"Well….?" Leon said, asking me to continue.

I sighed. "I went to Scarlets while they were closed for a minute, though why they were closed I do not know, and I met someone there. Don't get any ideas; I was just meeting up with a friend." I said more to Roxas who still had a proud smirk on his face. "And I went back to their house for a bit and fell asleep accidentally. I didn't call anyone because my phone couldn't get a signal."

Okay, so I didn't tell the truth at all. Apart from the last sentence, that was true. If I was to have told them both the truth; Roxas would curse me out for going out with Riku, then curse Riku out for being himself. Leon would disapprove of me sleeping on the beach about a mile away from our house _and_ on a school night. Then both overprotective brothers one and two would go into berserk mode and never let me go.

Leon ran a stressed hand through his brunette locks and covered his eyes with his hands. "Okay, now what was this about a party?"

Roxas and I looked at each other. This time it was my time to speak first, I couldn't allow Roxas to take the blame for any of this seeing as it was _my_ friend's birthday and it was _my_ idea to have it at the house. "Well," I began and scratched the back of my neck nervously. "Basically, for the past couple of months or whatever, Selphie and the rest of my friends were planning a surprise birthday party for our friend Tidus. We _were_ supposed to have it at Wakka's house, but we couldn't. Long story short, we had it here and a whole bunch of people came and danced and had fun or whatever."

"And what day was this?" There was no denying the annoyed tone that filled his voice

"The day dad left." I answered shamefully and bowed my head down.

"It's not all Sora's fault though." Roxas' sharp voice suddenly appeared once more in the room, and I looked at him confused. "I helped out and invited along some of my friends as well, so I'm part to blame." He added and smiled warmly at me.

The eldest brother folded his legs over the other and pinched the bridge of his nose, eyes screwed shut and a suppressed throaty groan released itself from his lips. "So, are you telling me that dad left nearly a week ago, and he hasn't been in contact at _all, _and since his absence you guys decided to: throw parties, stay around other people's houses and come back at any hours of the night – no – mornings?"

I was just about to answer 'yes' but an elbow in my side from Roxas told me not to, Leon was being rhetorical and we knew it. "Leon, if there is anyone to blame it's dad. I woke up and found a note saying he's on a 'business trip' _again_; he's got to stop leaving us alone then stuff like this wouldn't happen." Roxas tried to reason, but it was of no use.

"Then you should have called me." Leon countered. "I know you guys are old enough to look after yourselves, but the fact of the matter _is_ that you've let yourselves down. You could have told me that dad went out of town; I wouldn't of have to come down and trust you guys to deal on your own for a while. I thought that you guys were going to be responsible and prove to me that you are mature, but then Lulu called, and told me what you've done."

"So are you saying that you don't trust us?" Roxas asked lowly, not bothering to raise his head from the ground.

"I do trust you guys," Leon answered reassuringly with a small smile. "I just don't like to hear that my younger brothers are getting drunk at home without a guardian present or something. Anything could have happened to you guys and all I want to do is make sure that you guys are safe."

"Screw happiness eh?" I joked, trying to lighten the mood, which I think I did as Roxas playfully pushed me and smiled along with Leon.

"So let's make a deal," Leon offered. "I can't say dad will never do this again, because I know he will, but when he does just give me a call alright? Tell me if you want me to come immediately or if you need money or anything alright? And I'll do the best I can. But in return, I need you guys to be responsible and to always tell me the truth, no matter what. Deal?" He asked patiently.

"Deal." Roxas and I agreed in unison. I sighed in relief, that whole conversation went a lot smoother than what I thought it would. "So how long are you going to stay for?" Roxas questioned Leon.

"Yeah, are you going to be here for your birthday?" I asked before Leon could answer. "Because, you know, we have to do something great for your twenty-third and all. Hey, you could even spend it with Cloud."

The older brunette looked mildly surprise but quickly recovered. "You met him already? Hmm." His grey orbs went skyward as he looked in deep thought then smirked. "Well, I guess I could, what did he say to you guys?"

Roxas looked away. "He just introduced himself as Cloud your new friend. He seemed nice, and Roxas was his ever charming self as you can imagine." I informed Leon, who rolled his eyes at my statement. I only landed him in it because he did to me earlier; payback is a bitch and Roxas' face proved that.

"Look it wasn't my fault alright." He defended, "I… He… I just wanted to know some things and he was reluctant to tell me."

"_No_," I said slowly. "Actually he answered every interrogating question you asked him, just not the way you planned or expected."

Roxas and I glared at each other before Leon ordered us to stop. "Quit it the pair of you, Cloud is just a good friend of mine and he's going to be staying with me for a while. Is there a problem with that?" He didn't even wait for us to answer before continuing. "No? Good. Now, have any of you guys got homework or anything?" He asked impatiently yet calm. We both nodded our heads as a 'yes' then Leon added, "Well, go and do your homework, dinner will be ready at six so you guys can get to bed early. I don't even want to know how much sleep you guys got last night okay?"

We both got up from the couch and sent evil looks towards our older brother. "God, he's such a girl." Roxas whispered, well more or less murmured which was heard by Leon.

"_Maaaaan_ He's worse than dad." I agreed. We just about managed to reach the door before that distinctively low voice called our names.

"Roxas, Sora?" We turned around just in time to instead of being faced with Leon; a cushion was thrown straight in our faces, which was then followed by another, and another. Roxas stumbled backwards onto me once the second one was thrown and I used him as a human shield. Finally, once the last one was thrown, Leon wore a defiant smirk then held up another cushion, threatening us that he'll throw. Thinking purely of myself, I pushed Roxas further into the room, ignored his groans of protests, and made a run for the door then up the stairs.

**: : **

By the time eight o clock rolled past, I was tired beyond all belief and just ready to crash on my bed and allow my subconscious mind take over. My homework was finished, well kinda, and my stomach was full thanks to Leon's wonderful cooking. That sure was one awkward dinner; we all ate in silence and practically avoided eye contact with everyone possible. Hopefully things will get better between us all, Roxas will soon see that Cloud isn't a bad guy; I don't know why he would get that impression. My brothers are honestly a mystery to me.

I wouldn't be surprised if he ended up with Cloud, and Roxas ended up with Axel. Maybe all the Leonhart boys, apart from my dad, are gay. I'm still waiting to see something blossom between Roxas and Axel, I also wonder if he's going to go to college in this world or another. From what I noticed at dinner, there might actually be something going on between Cloud and Leon by the looks they gave each other. And it's needless to say that Roxas makes googly eyes at Axel whenever he's not looking. I couldn't help but think about Zexion and that other guy, Demyx. I believe that it's a little more profound than Axel just not telling Zexion for the hell of it, and I think Zex knows that which must make the whole ordeal even more frustrating.

There were too many possible relationships running through my mind at that moment. Settling in nothing but my boxers, I snuggled up in my bed and pulled the covers over my head with a groan. After twenty minutes of telling myself to sleep, Riku kept popping up in my mind and overtook whatever rational thought I had. Meeting him at the coffee place felt like it was the starting point to get our friendship back. Then going to one of our secret spots was like walking down memory lane, we only used to go there if there was seriously something wrong with us. Being back there didn't feel weird though, Riku didn't seem mad and I sure as hell wasn't, I just want to know what's going on with him.

Whenever I'm with Riku, I feel safe and even after all these years, I still feel like he has the power to shield me from anything. These dreams that I've been having about him are definitely weird though, he claims that I was calling his name in my sleep, and yelling that he was hurting me. I don't even remember dreaming that night, but my dad told me long ago that the sun has the ability to make you forget your nightmares. Maybe he was right, judging from what Riku told me it couldn't be anything other than a nightmare. He's the only person I think about all day lately, and I know – I just _know_ that he would never try and hurt me. Not intentionally anyways, not unless it was a good cause… but then why is it only _now_ that he's trying to talk to me? And why-

_Knock_

I pulled the covers from over head and stared at window to where the noise came from. There was a large branch from a tree on the outside of my window so as any usual person I assumed that it hit my window with the force of the wind. Yeah, that must be it. I rolled my eyes and was about to pull the covers over my head before –

_Knock_

A loud throaty groan released itself from my and my annoyance was showing. I just wanted to get to sleep, but instead I got other peoples relationships running around my mind, Riku taking over like a plague and _now_ I have an annoying branch that I have to sort out. Forcefully, albeit reluctantly, I rolled off my bed and walked over to the window, I wasn't exactly sure _what_ I was going to do to that single branch, but I needed something to take my frustration out of. Though, what I didn't expect was as soon as I opened the window, a small grey rock hit me dead in the face. "Ow," I whispered and whined once the small stone hit me. Then another one hit me. There was no apology or any sincerity, nothing other than another rock. "What the-"

I stopped mid sentence as I looked down to find out who was attacking me with stones. It was still quite light outside thanks to the summer season and the fact that it was only about half eight. The person who was situated in my at the side of my house with one hand in their pocket whilst the other was placed to their mouth with their index finger on their lips; signalling me to shush. I knew who it was immediately as I stared into familiar eyes and wondered how long it had been since we done this.

"How quick can you sneak out?" They asked me, but before I could even give an answer, I already found myself climbing out the window.


	7. Stung By Cupids Sarcastic Arrow

**Hopelessly I'll Love You Endlessly**

**Disclaimer: **Me and the big guys down at Square-Enix have a deal: If I keep on agreeing that I don't own the game then they don't have to sue me, make me pay all that money I don't have and arrest me for being a general pest. Anyways, I don't own the game.

**AN:** This chapter is an early post due to the fact that my internet decides it wants to be evil and not allow me to have the pleasure of reading fan fics yet. Instead, I've been cooped up on this crap excuse of a computer, typing away and trying to get through my holidays with a big grin on my face. Thanks to everyone who reviewed, and alerted and favourites, really appreciated as always.

**Chapter Seven**

**Stung by Cupid's Sarcastic Arrow**

"Smart one Sora, the whole boxers look is really going for you."

"Your sarcasm makes me laugh so hard I can feel my sides splitting." I replied mockingly, earning a sceptical look in return.

"Now who's the sarcastic one?"

I rolled my eyes. "Didn't you bring me any clothes? It's freezing out here."

"Yeah, because I just go wondering around the streets with boys clothing in my hands in case they're wandering around in their Spiderman boxers."

"There's that sarcasm again." I replied and ignored the giggles. "So, what brings you here Kairi? And what's wrong with knocking on the door?" I questioned the auburn haired teen who just smiled innocently.

"I was scared that Leon would open the door and I would look like a big dork in front of him." She answered. "So I'd make _you_ look like the dork, besides, when was the last time we've done this?" Kairi said as I opened the gate that led to my back yard. "Anyways, we were wondering if you wanted to come to Scarlets?"

We sat on one of the benches that looked out to the small pond in the middle of the garden. "We?" she nodded excitedly, "I thought everyone was in trouble because of the party?"

"We are." She reassured. "It's a long story." She whined, I gave her a look as if to say 'go on' and she did. "First of all, you know how Tidus can be when he stays in his house too long right?" I nodded, silently answering her question. "Well seeing as he's the only one who's not grounded, he got Wakka to sneak out which wasn't too hard because apparently Lulu's been ill and sleeping all day. Seeing as Selphie's parents were out on a conference of some sort it was easy for her to come out. Then they came to get me, and let me tell ya, it wasn't easy. It's a good thing that I can run, my dad's dogs started to chase me and Tidus until we got out."

I laughed, "You _ran_?" I asked, amused by her little story. "The great Kairi Mauve ran from some dogs? Now that I gotta see. I don't even remember the last time you did_ anything_ sporty."

She smiled. "When we used to play on the islands, and like run everyday, that's when." She informed happily. "So anyways, as I was saying, we decided to come and get you, Everyone's waiting further down the street so that we don't get caught, you in?"

I looked at her uneasy, "I don't know Kairi, I got in a _lot_ of trouble with Leon and I did come back at a ridiculous time last night." She clasped her hands and looked at me with wide violet puppy eyes. Her bottom lip pouting out and her whole being begging me to go. This time I could not give in – I won't give in. If I went out and Leon found out then I've abused his trust _again_ and I couldn't go through that whole enchilada again. Kairi was going to have to get used to the idea that her puppy look doesn't work anymore and get used to me saying: "Fine I'll go, stop looking at me like that."

Okay, at least I _know_ I'm doing the wrong thing. I've seriously got to become a heartless mutant or something, either that or start hating puppies.

She smiled happily and hugged me, nearly making me fall of the stone bench and lose my balance. One she pulled away she ran an eye over my choice of clothing before smiling. "Though, I think that you better grab some pants or something. Boxers aren't the latest fashion you know?" She joked, earning a playful glare from me in return.

"You should be grateful that I actually agreed to going, never mind my clothing."

"You guys can count me in." Kairi and I both turned our heads around to see Roxas on his balcony smirking away.

"No way Roxas, you're in enough trouble as it is. Do you want to make Leon even madder at you?"

"And I'm also you're only safe ticket to getting some pants and clothing. Unless you want to take the risk of Leon catching you? That is." He answered smugly; he and I both knew he was going to get his own way.

I turned to look at Kairi. "He has a point."

I growled and turned to back to Roxas. "Fine, but I mean it Rox, No coffee."

"Yeah, yeah I know the drill." He waved me off with a hand and bent down, only to come back up and throw a pair of black jeans a white t-shirt and some shoes in my direction. They landed no where near me, and I had to walk over near my kitchen door to retrieve them as Roxas began to descend his balcony and down the netting along the side of the wall which was kept to keep the flowers and bushes in tact. "Hey Kairi," Roxas greeted as he finally reached ground level.

"Hey Roxas," She replied as I started putting the clothes on. It was only then that I realized how stupid we must be and look. Here we are trying to sneak out of the house, and I'm getting dressed right in front of my kitchen windows whilst Roxas and Kairi are chattering away loud enough to alert wolves. "So, why do you want to go to Scarlets so bad?" She questioned him.

He shrugged, "I worked there yesterday and I wanted to go back there today." Kairi seemed pretty content with his answer and they both turned their attention to me. "Sora, would you hurry up? Those pants are your size."

"Yes, but the amount of belts you've managed to loop around them has made it impossible for me to get… over…my…_hips_!" I growled between tugs then finally managed to get it over my hips.

"Here's a little tip: next time _untie_ the belts and _then_ you'll get somewhere." He replied sarcastically as we walked over to the gate. Roxas led the way which was followed then Kairi then me in a single file. The blond froze once we reached the wooden gate and turned to look at us. "Is it really going to be _that_ easy to get out of here like this?" He asked.

"He's right Sora," Kairi said as she also turned to face me. "Leon is going to notice that you guys are gone sooner or later."

I looked at her incredulously. "_Now_ you're getting a conscience about it?" She glared at me and so did Roxas. "Look, there is no doubt in my mind that Leon thinks that we're sleeping considering last night. All our lights are off in our rooms and both you and I _know_ that Leon is not into the whole 'check-on-them-whilst-they're-sleeping' type. So let's just go, and be back here by ten okay?"

The surprise look they gave me was hilarious. I think that's because it was the first time in years that they've seen me actually say something that made sense and give an order. They looked at me like I was a different person, but to be fair, that was the first time that they actually asked _me_ for something advisable. A new feeling of confidence for some reason took over me and it felt kind of different, but nice.

"Only if you're sure, if not then it'll be you I blame." Roxas warned before unlocking the hatch and walking through the gate, Kairi and I following afterwards. "Shh, I think I hear something." Roxas whispered. We all kept on walking cautiously and made it past the house then into the driveway.

Whatever high I was on from my previous speech, completely vanished away the minute a bright light over took all of our vision and hands and arms were flown to eyes to shield away the brightness. It was light from a car of some sort and once it dimmed we got a good look at what was ahead of us. Suddenly, I wish I hadn't opened my eyes.

Leon, being his black clad self, was leaning uncomfortably against a black motorbike. One hand in his leather pants whilst the other was swinging a set of keys mercifully around his finger. Both Kairi and Roxas sent me 'I told you' glares before turning their attention back to Leon. "You know, I honestly expected more from you guys, being Harts and all." He spoke casually then stopped leaning on the mysterious bike.

"Leon we-"

"First of all you should know that the walls, even on the outside, are hollow enough to hear a pin drop. Secondly, Sora, when you want to get dressed, make sure that there isn't anyone in the kitchen: it's the most sociable room in the house." My face was as red as Kairi's hair and my eyes were as wide as the entire ocean. The difference between other big brothers and Leon is that with Leon, you can never tell exactly what he's getting at. He can be as calm as glistering water and the most relaxed person in the world, but he can take sarcasm and torture to a whole new level.

"Wait a sec," Roxas interrupted, "I know for a fact that you just came out of the shower when we snuck out." He looked at Leon suspecting, "Cloud told you didn't he?" He accused, and pointed a finger to prove his point. "I knew he was no good." Roxas then turned to me. "Should the words 'I told you' so ring a bell in that head of yours? Because it should with the amount of times I've been right."

I glared at my brother. "I wouldn't blame him if he did with the way you've been treating him today." I argued back.

"Actually," Cloud's muffled voice entered the scene and brought both pair of blue eyes onto the direction of the bike. Leon unfolded his arms and moved, next to Kairi, so that we could see the _other_ black-clad man sitting appropriately on the bike, with one leg on the ground to balance himself out. He took off his helmet and allowed his spikes to spring out. "I didn't. Leon figured this one out all on his own." He replied sarcastically and nodded in the direction of the eldest brunette.

"Here I am getting dressed after having a shower, when I hear the phone ring. Apparently according to Jen across the street, there is a half naked guy trying to break either into or out of the house. "Then, as I go into the kitchen to look into the garden at what all the noise is, I see my half naked brother trying to get a top over his head. So I think to myself 'Now I _know_ that they wouldn't sneak out, after our little conversation today' but for once, my brain seemed to fail me."

Goddamn it, why is he so calm? Why isn't he shouting and going off the rails at us? Instead, he's going on as if it were an everyday thing. Maybe Cloud has changed Leon for the better, but knowing my brother, this could all be false and the worst was still to come.

It was then that Kairi started to speak. I notice the wine redhead turn a deeper shade of red as soon as Cloud took off his helmet and the shade deepened once Leon stood directly next to her. I would have been sick if I knew I wasn't in so much trouble. "Leon, it's my entire fault. I tried to get Sora to sneak out and insisted that he brought Roxas along." She regarded me and my twin before turning back to meet those grey eyes. "If anyone should be punished it's me." She claimed.

"No one is in trouble are they Leon?" Cloud said, cutting Leon off from whatever he was going to say. The blond fixed my brother with a determined look, one of the first actual facial expressions I've seen him make all day.

They stared at each other for a good few seconds, Clouds stare not faulting once, and then Leon sighed in defeat. "I hate you, you know." He murmured to Cloud.

"I know," was the mildly happy reply as the spiky blond put his helmet on once more and started up the bike.

Leon turned and looked back to us. "I'll explain later, but you guys can go out. I know where you're going and I want you guys back at ten at the latest, have you got that?" he asked. We all, including Kairi, nodded at my brother and watched him hop onto the bike behind Cloud. "Oh before I forget, it was nice seeing you again Kairi." Leon added and placed his own helmet on.

"It was nice meeting you." Cloud agreed and drove off before she could reply; the only thing filling the silence was the roaring of his engine before it vanished immediately into the distance.

Soon, a hand hit my bare arm and I looked into angry violet eyes. "Why didn't you tell me that there is a_nother_ hot guy living in your house?" Kairi cried, arms flailing in the air to express herself as we began to walk down the street.

"I-" Another hit on my other bare arm. "Ouch! Will everyone stop hitting me? I'm damaged enough as it is." This time it wasn't Kairi but Roxas who hit me.

"Did you not see the way Cloud has Leon whipped?"

"Are you serious?" I answered his question with my own. "Leon is not _whipped_ and if it wasn't for Cloud, we wouldn't even be going out to see Axel and Reno, so do yourself a favor and be grateful." I ordered and ignored the incoherent things that he murmured underneath his breath. Not before long, we met up with Tidus, Wakka and Selphie.

**: : **

It would be the understatement of the century to say that Scarlets was packed.

The coffee place was crammed with teenagers and young adults trying to buy their drinks and weave though the large assortments of people. It seemed as though no one went for the whole 'coffee to go' thing around here. Most of the students, though, were making their way upstairs so that they could get more room and a better chance of some space. I recognized Axel, Reno and another redhead girl making drinks behind the counter then serve them to the ongoing customers. I hope that this is their busiest hour, if not, then I don't want to think about what this place is like when it is.

Roxas, who had been talking to Wakka throughout most of our journey here, noticed Axel (I don't see how he couldn't with hair like his) and said "I'm going over to Axel; I'll catch up with you guys in a minute." Then he was off to do exactly what he said.

"This place looks awesome!" Tidus declared as he looked around in awe.

"It's really something ya, I think I might come here on a regular." Wakka agreed.

"I would go and find seats, but it looks like they're all occupied." Kairi said, keeping her violet eyes unfocused as she constantly looked around for an opening.

That's when Roxas reappeared with Reno and a huge smile on their faces. "Hey Sora, long time no see." He greeted, and placed a hand on my shoulder. "I take it these are your friends huh?"

I smiled and nodded. "Yeah, they are. It's great to see you Reno, even though it's only been like twenty-four hours." I joked.

"_Man_ I love your brother yo; he should work for me more often."

"Hey Reno! A little help couldn't go amiss. You could reunite later." Axel shouted all the way over from behind the bar.

Reno's eyes rolled, his back turned to Axel, so he mimicked his younger brothers face. "That lazy son of a bitch is giving _me _orders? I own this place yo." He smirked. "Anyways, what I was _about_ to say before I got rudely interrupted that you guys can go downstairs for a little while if you want. I'll come back down later with some drinks."

"Really?" I asked curiously, not believing that it was _that_ easy. He _is_ Axel's brother after all. "What's the catch?"

A smirk. "Let Rox work here until you guys have to leave, I could really use a pair of hands right now and this little guy sure can make one mean cappuccino." It wasn't even a question, but after I gave some thought to it, I found myself nodding. "Perfect. Okay, no one is down there, but if you see this big bald guy, tell him I sent you down." He winked and turned on his heel. As soon as Roxas got the A-OK from me, he was already gone and left Reno to try and walk through the crowd of people on his own.

"You know him?" Selphie asked, green eyes watching the retreating man.

"Yeah, I met him last night. He's Axel's brother and owns this place."

"Now that makes sense why this place is vibrant. It matches those two perfectly by the look of it." Selphie supposed as we turned the around and made our ways to the sealed off door that led to downstairs.

Then, on the same spot as last time, Kairi hit me on my arm. "Couldn't you tell me that Reno's brother is hot as well? Did you see those eyes and that voice?"

I looked at her dubiously as she walked down the stairs in front of me. "He looks just like Axel, do you have crush on Axel as well?"

"As a matter of fact I do, and if you as so much breath a word to him about it, I'll…I'll…" she paused to think, and then it came to her. "I'll make Selphie think of something to do to you." She threatened, making shivers go down my spine at the though of what those huge green eyes could do.

"Already got ideas brewin'" The brunette chirped as we all finally reached the bottom. I've never been downstairs before, but the sight was truly as unique as the first two floors. There was a medium sized stage situated in the middle of the room with a couple of lights above it for emphasis. White and yellow couches and chairs bordered the room and blended in flawlessly with the turquoise painted walls and the luminous pink flooring. "Wow!" Selphie voiced our thoughts.

"I told you this place is awesome. The only thing is, we have to wait until midnight until anyone actually performs." Tidus said and led the way to one of the abandoned couches.

None of us noticed the door right at the back of the room, well that was until a large scary looking man started to come out from it. "Look, it'll only be a couple more minutes. Just remember this is _your_ idea." He said, and then turned around to face us. His face should have been stunned or something to see five teenagers gawping at him for talking to a door, but the guy's face kept still as he walked over to us. Intimidation built up inside me with every step he took. I couldn't see his eyes because of the dark shades that overshadowed them and this man must have been about 6 ft five. "This area is sealed off."

"W-we got permission," I stuttered. "From Reno, he said we could use this area for a little while." I answered truthfully.

"Are you related to Roxas?" He asked, and I nodded. "Don't go wandering to that backroom. Whatever noises you hear, ignore them." He warned. "The names Rude."

"I'm Sora. This is Kairi, Wakka, Selphie and Tidus." They all gave a shy smile or a timid wave once they were introduced. Rude gave us one sharp nod before he walked out of the room and up the stairs. He wore a suit and looked sharp, which is why I'm guessing we seemed kind of scared by him.

Once he was out of earshot, Tidus spoke "That guy was _huge_. I thought he was gunna crush us for sitting in his seat or something" He slung an arm around Selphie's shoulder and kissed her on the cheek. Wakka was too busy looking at the entrance to see when our drinks were coming to notice, but Kairi on the other hand was looking vaguely jealous.

"Say Kairi, what would you do if I told you that there was someone here I know who thinks you're cute and wants to date you?" I asked her and chuckled to myself at her expression. She sat directly in front of me on the other couch next to Wakka, hope shining in her violet eyes.

"I would say tell me now." She ordered eagerly.

"Ingus Ivory." I answered merrily. "He's upstairs now, I saw him earlier."

"Ingus Ivory?" She repeated and looked at like I was mental. "The guy who used to believe he was Peter Pan back in kindergarten?"

"Ingus Ivory the one who got hot since seventh grade?" Selphie joined in, "he's upstairs now?" I nodded.

"How hot is he on a scale on one to ten, ten being the hottest?" Kairi asked, suddenly interested in the conversation.

Selphie looked at her boyfriend before turning back to Kairi, "I can't answer that, I have a boyfriend now." Tidus smirked and looked at me. What he didn't know was by doing that, Selphie held up five fingers in one hand and four on the other to Kairi, whose eyes widened and now looked up at the stairs as though it was her destiny.

"So Sora, how do you know the owner? He's got us treated like fucking royalty man, it's awesome!" Tidus asked me, a grin playing on his features.

"Don't swear," Kairi warned, entering in this conversation. "It's rude."

Tidus mumbled something illogical but didn't ignore the glare he received from the wine redhead and gave her one in return. "I… He was in the bar when I came here last night." I started, hoping that it would stop the looks the two gave each other. "Axel had already told him about me and Roxas, so we immediately got on."

"So, you gunna tell us about you're little mystery date last night? Or is it still under wraps?" Wakka asked me, he and Tidus both wearing an equally annoying smirk whilst Selphie and Kairi looked at me curiously.

"You said that you didn't go on a date!" Selphie complained, "What's with all the secrets Sora?"

"There are no secrets and there was no date, for the last time! I met up, here, with a friend and just hung out for a bit. There was no date, there was no romance there was no nothing."

They all stared at me shocked. "Geesh! What got your Moogles in a twist?" Selphie asked rhetorically.

"Probably his new girlfriend." Tidus winked and sent the rest of them in a fit of laughter. I couldn't keep the smile away as I saw my friends laughing. Even if it was at my expense. As soon as everyone regained normality Tidus looked up at his watch and back towards the entrance. "How long does it take to bring down some drinks?" He complained. "I'm gunna go and ask about them. That would be three hot chocolates, one mocha and one coffee right?" He asked, blue eyes scanning around the room to check for nods. Tidus nodded once and made a run towards the stairs.

"Selph, I need to go to the bathroom," Kairi said once Tidus was upstairs, "Come with me?"

"As if I could say no." Selphie replied happily. The two remaining females rose from their seats and walked side by side to the entrance but were quickly stopped by Wakka.

"You girls know that there is a bathroom right over there right?" He pointed behind us to the two doors that stood way at the end of the room. They were black and on one door held a circle with an arrow pointing diagonally down leftwards in a bright blue, whilst the other had the same but the arrow was pointing diagonally to the upper right hand side and in pink.

Kairi giggled and turned back around to go up the stairs. "We know!" She chirped happily and went upstairs with Selphie in tow. The sound of their footsteps filled the silence Wakka and I was left in.

Wakka rolled his hazel eyes before regarding me and threw a scrunched up napkin at my face. "You okay there buddy? You seemed pretty out of it earlier back."

I looked up at him. "I'm fine." I answered. He gave me a look to say 'I know you're lying so you might as well come out and say it'. There was never any fooling Wakka. "Well… it's just…. Aren't you scared?"

He looked at me bewildered. "Scared of what?"

"Going back to Besaid and going to a new college away from us?"

"Oh, so that's what's been beating you up?" He smiled warmly at me, and stretched over to place a hand on my shoulder. "I think that it's pretty evidential that I don't care what people think, otherwise I wouldn't be hanging around with you guys." He joked, and earned himself a playful hit from me in return before continuing. "So, I don't really care if I make no friends there or not. All that matters to me is that I know that I'd always have you guys to come back to if things don't work out there ya?" I nodded and smiled, a little satisfied with his answer, but not completely.

"But what if you do make new friends and you have a lot more fun with them."

He sighed. "I've had this exact same conversation with Kairi. It's kind of strange how you guys are like the same." He said thoughtfully. "Even if I do make new friends, I can't shake you guys off that easily. How long have I known you guys now?"

"Since we were like five or six I think."

"And do you really think I'm going to let all those years go down the drain? I'll be back to visit and you guys can talk and write to me all the time. So stop worrying ya? We'll all see each other soon. Until then, we just gotta make the most of our time together now right?"

Make the most of our time together.

"Right." I breathed. Just at that precise moment, Tidus made his reappearance and jumped onto the couch that Wakka sat on. The blond propped his feet up on Wakka's knees and rested his head, on both hands, on the armrest.

"Our drinks will be ready soon but. Your brother is going to bring it down to us." He closed his eyes and sighed merrily. The elder teen obviously wasn't happy about being a foot rest and shoved Tidus' feet off him, making them collide with the coffee table in front. "What the hell man! I was getting in the mood for sleep."

"Yeah well you're not at home now brudda and I am not your furniture." Wakka claimed and smiled, proud that he got Tidus to sit up.

"Oh, come _on._ My muscles are tired and my feet hurt so much. Would a little sympathy and foot rub really kill you?" He pleaded, trying to pull of the puppy dog look but failed as Wakka laughed straight in his face.

"If you think that I'm gunna give _those _a foot rub then you got another thing coming. I've seen you're feet before and I'm never going near them again."

"Okay, that was _one_ time and I swear I don't know how they got there. I must have run through a bush or something."

Wakka scoffed. "Or Oogie Boogie's dismantled corpse? There were six of them, in each sock!" He said loudly, trying to get the message clear to the reluctant blond that he wasn't touching his feet.

I pretended to listen and watch the two of my best friends argue but I couldn't quite get over what Wakka said before Tidus came back down. 'Make the most of our time together.' I want to spend more time with Wakka before he leaves, I really do, but then there's Riku. After so many years, we're finally getting somewhere as in terms of friendship, and I want to spend as much time as I possibly could with him rebuilding what we once had. Even if that means as just friends and nothing more, as long as I get to know that it's still the Riku from four years ago, I'm happy. Because lately, he doesn't seem like him. Riku seems cut off from all reality and lives in a world where he thinks he can keep up this charade of not speaking to me properly.

I guess Zexion was right, (although we all know that's not a big shocker) I'm going to have to tell Riku about how I feel about him sooner or later. That is, if I can even figure out what it _is_ I feel about him. I know that I love him, as a friend, and that no matter what, I always will. But the dreams and general way I react to him _now_ proves that I want him maybe more than a friend. Could I really be falling for someone who used to be a distant memory?

The sound of high heels and familiar giggles coming down the stairs brought me out of my gaze to the floor and forced me to look in that direction. "How have I not noticed him before?" I heard Kairi ask.

"I told you he was cute. You should so totally ask him out. Or at least get to know him again." Selphie said a lot clearer now that they were fully downstairs and walking back to their previous seats. Once they were comfortable, Selphie spoke once more. "Have you guys seen upstairs? It's awesome. I think that if we give it about ten minutes, it won't be so packed, so we can go back up there."

"Have any of you guys got the time?" I asked, and then glared at Kairi who sat next to me. "I left my phone and my watch in my other pants."

Kairi laughed audibly, and I was happy that she was the only one in on the inside joke. "No one told you to come down like that." She countered then pulled out her pink flip phone from her back pocket. "And its quarter past nine, why?"

"Because Leon said that we have to be back by ten remember? Speaking of which, we'll leave here by about half past nine."

Selphie whined in protest. "Awwwwwwww, But it was your idea for us to all hang together. You can't just bail on us Sora,"

"I know guys, but Leon… Look, I have to be back at ten or else, and you know exactly how my brother can be."

"Please, enlighten us _all_ at how Leon can be." My head shot up just as soon as I heard my elder brother's voice coming from the entrance to the room. He held a large tray with four drinks on it. Leon is like the only one in our family who can go on unnoticed and remain silent. I never hear him coming, and it's as though he's a ninja or something roaming through the shadows. If I was him coming down the stairs with glasses on a tray and tried to remain silent, I would've probably slipped, fell straight on my ass and crashed every single cup I had on me.

Leon on the other hand, can be as sneaky as Selphie, just without the cunning plans. "Leon?" I cried incredulously, not believing that the man walking towards us was in fact my older brother. "What are you doing here?"

He placed the drinks on the table in front of us. "Didn't Tidus say that 'your brother' was going to bring your drinks down?" He asked me flatly. I looked at Tidus in front of me, who had a cheeky grin while his sky blue eyes purposely avoided me. "Don't worry, I'm not going to interfere, I'm going to sit way back over there and ignore you completely."

I gave him a curious look; I really didn't trust anything that came out of his mouth, even if he did sound genuine. "I see," The tone of my voice was evident that I didn't trust him; my brother smirked, knowing what I was thinking. "And where is Cloud? Didn't he come with you?" I asked.

Leon shrugged. "He's upstairs talking to Reno. Apparently they know each other or something. He'll be back down with the rest of your drinks in a second." With that Leon turned on his heel and walked right to the back of the room where he said he would and patiently awaited his friend. I turned back to glower at Tidus, but Kairi's red face caused me to roll my eyes and keep whatever thoughts I had to myself.

The next half hour consisted of me, my friends including Roxas, talking about nothing in particular and generally having a good time. Rox came back to us fifteen minutes ago claiming that Axel had to run home and Reno let him off. Leon and Cloud remained in the background, silent as mice but didn't seem interested in us what so ever. I intertwined myself in conversations with my friends, but most of the time I kept drifting off into my own world and couldn't help but think of other things.

If other things were code for Riku of course.

I thought long and hard about it and I've decided that no matter what the outcome, I'm going to _make_ Riku understand how much he means to me. I don't want to go on with my life thinking about 'what ifs'. This may well be my last chance to have my best friend back for good, even if he is moving to another world in a couple of weeks. Four years ago when Riku left us, I didn't fight for our friendship or try and force him to do anything. I sorta just accepted it.

Kairi on the other hand didn't handle it so well. When Riku left, at the time, I took it really bad. I refused to talk to most people for a while and I just wasn't myself. It was as though he took my happiness away with him and as soon as that happened, Kairi took the initiative to take matters in her own hands. She never told me the full extent of what happened that night, but all I know is that she went to his house to 'talk' to him, but knowing Kairi, it could have been screeching. All I remember was that the day after Kairi 'spoke' to him, she was in a bad mood and Riku wasn't seen at school for at least two days. There have been times when I wanted to ask the auburn haired teen about what did happen that night, but I ruled it off as none of my beeswax.

By the time five to ten came about, Leon was standing at our table with Cloud by his side. Kairi, who was sitting next to me, snapped her finger in front of my face to bring me out of my reverie and instead look into amused grey eyes. That feeling that my older brother was going to do something… _Leony _crept back up and the distrust came swimming back to my oceanic blue orbs.

"Cloud and I are heading back home now."

"Okay," Roxas said slowly and uneasily, obviously not liking where Leon was going with this either. "So…?"

"Well, according to my watch," He brought his right arm up to inspect the time on his old leather watch, "You guys have about four minutes to be back at the house before I class you both as late, and you'll have to deal with the punishment."

Roxas, who was leaning back coolly in the chair next to Tidus, shot up immediately at our brother's statement and looked at him incredulously. "W-What? But you guys are here a-and… That's not _fair_; it's a fifteen minute walk!" He cried, looking at me for some help to argue with, but we both knew we were goners when it came down to arguing with Leon. "And Sora runs like a snail. You can't be serious."

Leon kept his gaze on the watch the whole time through Roxas' little rant, obviously unmoved by his words. "Three minutes." I looked at my twin in his matching blue eyes and without a word of protest, we both shot up instantaneously from our seats and ran straight out of the building known as Scarlets.

**: : **

I found myself lying against our front lawn nine minutes later, my chest heaving up and down and sweat rushed down my face as though they were waterfalls. I am so unhealthy, but Roxas looked like he was in a worst condition than me. Never again am I running like that, that was probably my whole exercise for like a month. It was stupid for us to think that we could get here in less than three minutes, we ran the whole way without stopping once. Even when Leon drove past us with Cloud on his motorbike, we didn't stop. He was even smug enough to shout '30 seconds!' over the roaring of the engine. The jerk.

There was no way I was doing that ever again. Roxas nudged me with his foot as we got up from the ground and began to solemnly make our way inside our house. Okay, so maybe it's not all that great having my older brother back. He awaited us in the hallway, having been at the house five minutes before we had, and still wore that amused smirk. Both Roxas and I glared at him, my twin flipped him the middle finger once we strode past him and heard his proud chuckle. "Too bad that it's a Friday tomorrow for you guys," He sympathized pathetically. "Oh well, that means you have the whole weekend to fulfil out what ever it is I make you do as punishment."

We ignored him the best we could and continued on upstairs to our designated rooms. Muttering a sardonic 'goodnight Leon' to our older brother before he could say another word. Roxas' room was opposite mine and before we went into our rooms, Roxas stopped me by saying "Sora, I have a pretty good idea about what happened to you last night." His voice was low and almost uncaring, I took a couple of steps to meet him, and saw that there was a hint of annoyance lingering in his eyes.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, my eyes still searching his.

"I'm not the oblivious one Sora," He started, "Reno wouldn't tell me anything about who you was with last night, except that he's a rich, green and silver person from Mars." My twin rolled his eyes at how Reno was much like his younger brother. "You came back covered in sand," he continued, "and in the early hours of the morning." He stared at me dully and I stared back curiously.

"So…?" I asked slowly.

"So, I thought to myself: 'when was the last time Sora did something like this with an old friend?' And I thought back to about five or six years ago when you used to do that with none other that the silver and green Martian himself: Riku." I didn't form an answer or a lie, we both knew I was pathetic at both, so I stared at his black expression shocked. I knew he knew that I knew about his hatred for the silverette and the evidence was clear in his eyes when he said my friends' name. He turned to his door, and touched the handle before saying. "Don't do anything stupid Sora," He opened the door then shut it again. "And I want my clothes back in the morning."

I smiled at his last request, but that soon vanished when I thought about all the possible things my brother could do to make me see sense. If it wasn't for Rox, I would still be in a sullen mood all that time when Riku first left. He made me realize that Riku wasn't worth me getting all beat down and that I have plenty more friends to who will stand by me. I tried to shake of the feeling that Riku wouldn't want anything to do with me and instead turned back towards my door. Though, what I was not expecting was for it to be unlocked and open slightly.

I was sure that, without a doubt, I left it closed before I left, and I know for certain that I've been locking myself in my room ever since I've had those dreams about my ex-best friend. There was no way that Leon would have opened it and there was no way that he could have gotten into it even if he tried. Only Kairi knew where my secret hiding place was for my key, whereas my spare one was with me at all times (except that now they were always in my pants which are currently still in my room). I gave the door one more curious look before turning to the wall opposite me and checked behind my mirror. The key was still there in its usual place.

I approached my door once more and felt a cool gust of wind gently whisper on my skin. Then I remembered, I recklessly left my window open for the whole world to try and get into my house, but then again, who would want to break in? Destiny Islands hardly has any crime, but why would someone want to break into my room?

I shook my head, and regarded it as paranoia and lack of sleep. My tired arms pushed the wooden threshold gently, and entered into my darkened room. There was no point of me turning on my lights as I figured that I was going to relieve myself of my brother's clothing, and be sandwiched between my bed covers and mattress. I got on both hands and knees before I searched the floor for the jeans that I wore previously. Once I found them, I retrieved my key from them and locked my door, tested the handle to make sure that it _was_ locked and went to put it on the dresser beside my bed, but dropped it accidentally.

Rolling my eyes at nothing in particular, I got on all fours again and searched for the wretched things. With one hand propping me up, my other was able to touch a pencil, a scrunched up note of some sort, a sneaker that still had a foot in it, my key.

Wait – WHAT!

I jumped the second that I realized that there was life in the foot that was protected in the shoe, rose to my feet and stumbled back a few steps. I nearly screamed, but that wouldn't be manly enough, and I didn't know who it was. My breaths were coming in short and for all I know, there was a crazy psycho person sitting on my bed. Then – _then _they had the audacity to chuckle, a chuckle I was all too familiar with. I didn't have time to ask who the hell it was before he started speaking, but I had a feeling I already knew anyways.

"A Martian… from Mars?" He asked, a mixture of amusement and incredulity to his calm, deep voice. "I thought I was more suited for Pluto. _Damn_." He whispered with no emotion to his voice what so ever in his beautiful voice.


	8. Sorry For The Memories

**Hopelessly I'll Love You Endlessly**

**Disclaimer:**As I sit here on my good for nothing computer listening to 'Fight With Seymour' from Final Fantasy X, I can't help but think that was one of the easiest battle's I've ever involved my self in. Now, if I was the owner of Square-Enix, do you really think that I would be listening to music from my own game and reminiscing on my previous battles? No! Therefore it belongs to guys that actually have a life.

**AN:** Obi-gosh! Okay first of all, I want to dedicate this chapter to two of my best friends **Danielle Frederick** and **Aaron Colclough**, for buying me nail varnishes whose make is called **'Sora'**! Thanks so much that is like the sweetest gift ever! Love you guys XD. Now, with that aside, I want to thank _you_ my lovely readers for the reviews that I've received. They always spur me on to write more, so thanks for that XD and I love it when you guys keep on guessing. Sorry If I don't reply to some reviews or PM's, my internet cuts off when I do and I end up having to write them again.

I thought that seeing as though we didn't get to see much of everyone's favourite silverette in the past two chapters, I'll make the majority of this chapter about him. So without further adieu I bring you:

**Chapter Eight**

**Sorry For ****the Memories**

"R-Riku?" I whispered loudly. Knowing my room like the back of my hand, I took another step backwards and hit the wall, then flicked the light on. He sat at the edge of my bed, with his feet firmly on the ground and his hands clasped tightly together between his open legs. The silverette was slouched forward, something he never used to do, whilst his head was bowed down to the floor, silver bangs shielding his teal eyes from view. I took a shaky step forward, uncertain if he was in the best of moods. "What are you doing here?" I continued to whisper, but my voice adopted a more subtle tone.

As usual, there was a silent answer to my response as he shrugged and rested his face in his hands. All sense of logical thoughts such as 'you broke into my room!' and 'what if Roxas catches you' flew straight out of my open window the minute I took in Riku's stature. His usually straight hair seemed ruffled and a little messed up. He was still in his school uniform, which surprisingly didn't strike me as odd, but they seemed more creased and little bit damp. The smooth wind must've been making him colder than what he needed to be, so I strode past him and shut the windows.

Riku still hadn't moved, not even when he felt the bed sink behind him as I took a seat. I leaned against the headboard and kept my eyes purely on his back. There were a gazillion questions running through my mind which I wanted to ask him, but sadly, I knew I would not be getting a positive answer. So I just stared, and waited patiently for him to explain. At least five minutes had past before there was slight movement from him and I could feel myself fighting sleep with every second gone.

"I didn't know where else to go." It was barely a whisper and if the house wasn't so quiet, I wouldn't have heard it. His sentence made me look up, and definitely got my attention. He allowed his legs to bounce up and down but still kept his back to me. There wasn't anything I could think of to say that would remedy how he's feeling right now, so I waited for him to continue. "It all seems so empty now." He spoke a little louder this time, but not by much.

I leaned up a bit so that I didn't miss anything he said, but I didn't come into any contact with him due to the fact that he might want it yet; he can't even look at me. I gave his back a perplexed look. "What seems empty?"

A sigh released its way from his lips and he stood abruptly from the bed and walked over to the door. I was afraid that he was going to walk straight back out, and not give me an answer – explanation even. His pale hands reached for the door handle and a sigh I never knew that I was holding back released itself and cut through the painful silence. He could not be doing this to me again; he can't just turn up and walk out on me again. I don't think my heart could take it anymore. I was about voice these very thoughts, but a groan from the older male silenced me not to. "Everything," He answered.

His hand slid off the door handle and he held his head low. My heart rends for him, and I don't know why. Sliding slowly off my bed, I walked over to Riku, who still had his back faced to me, and extended a nervous hand to his shoulder. I felt him tense for a brief second under my touch, but it faded just as quickly and he kind of slackened against my hold. He exhaled deeply and brought his hands to wipe down his face. "Tell me what's wrong; tell me why everything feels empty." It wasn't supposed to sound like a plea as opposed to a command, but as long as I can get him to talk to me, it doesn't matter. "Talk to me Riku."

My thumb ran absentmindedly along his shoulder blade, causing him to shiver slightly involuntary. We may not have been close these past couple of years, but I've known him long enough to sense when he was fighting me and my techniques: something that didn't happen a lot, but rare enough to remember for a lifetime. Finally he sighed for the second time today and turned around to face me. Teal eyes gleamed with pain and hope, made my heart believe that it had been clawed and broken, and the pained small smile he wore just made it worse.

Riku knew that he didn't have to put on a brave face around me, but it was obvious that he was breaking down and didn't want even _me_ to see. I want to know what's troubling him, and I want to help him I really do, but he has a problem with opening up and allowing people in. Has the years we've been apart really affected him so?

I took the initiative to walk first back over to my bed, and took my previous seat with my back against the headboard. I patted on the purple quilt beside me, and Riku followed without word. Surprisingly so, nothing sexual went through my mind at all since he was here right next to me. I mean come on: I have a hot silverette, not to mention someone who is responsible for my morning cold showers, sitting on my bed and completely vulnerable. And for some reason, the only thoughts in my mind were how I was going to help him because if we were to be best friends again, we should both learn how to trust each other.

He sat with his head back against the headboard, just like I did, but his feet reached the end of my large bed whereas mine came just below his knees. He stared directly ahead, eyes not averting from the mirror in front at all. I watched him with worried eyes and knew that I was going to have to start the conversation. "I never judged you Riku." I started, thinking of the only thing that came to mind. "Not once, I don't know why because everyone else said that I should hate you." I didn't miss the way he forced his eyes shut, as though he was trying not to look into the truth. "But I never could. There was – is some part of me that refuses to give up on you Riku. So please, just tell me what wrong, I want to help you." I pleaded and looked at him to see when he was going to open his eyes.

But they never did.

Those precious lips curled in on themselves and I could see that he bit on them hard as the force on his eyes deepened. I was afraid that if I was to carry on speaking about the past, he would leave and this time I won't have the luxury of getting him to stay. After intense seconds of silence, he spoke. "I-I never intended on hurting you So' – any of you guys. I… I just…." He threw his head back in frustration, then slowly revealed those tempting teals that I love to relish in. Those bright orbs glanced over to me then he moved his head so that our faces were inches apart. "No matter how many excuses I make, they won't clarify the fact that I'm sorry Sora." I bowed my head as I could feel a smile coming on and the heat rush up to my cheeks. Those three words: '_I'm sorry Sora'_, how long have I been waiting to hear them?

If only they were strong enough to satisfy me.

Riku can apologize all he wants, and although they were words that I've wanted to hear for a long time, I couldn't help but want more. I needed Riku to explain to me why he left so we can sort it out and regain that unbreakable bond we once had. I looked at my lap and began to fiddle with my fingers, Riku remained unmoved. "Riku-"

"-And I'm sorry for breaking in. It's just… I didn't know where else to go, I didn't know what else to do." He admitted then turned his face away from mine. "After school I went back to the beach, where we went the other day, and it felt so… so… different. I wanted to get a way for a while just escape somewhere and forget about things, you know, like listen to waves and the wind. But for some reason they seemed so empty… like they were missing something.

He paused, and I finally stopped fidgeting and looked up at him. "What was missing?" I asked lowly

"You" He answered simply without giving it a second thought. "Your voice, your being just… you." I stared at him with wide eyes, waiting for him to turn back towards me. When he did, I could see sincerity in those emotional aquamarine eyes of his. "So I sat there, hoping that something would turn up and make me forget how alone I really am. I don't know how long I've been there, but after a while, I ended up at your house, then I…I don't know, I guess I felt less empty."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Was Riku really telling me that he felt empty without me? That very thought made my heart do back flips out the nearest window and beat ten times harder. I took a shaky breath before I started to speak. "Four years is a long time to be feeling empty Riku. I just want to know what it is that I've done to make you hate me."

He smiled a sad smile before raising one hand to run along the side of my face. "I could never hate you Sora." He said breathily and used his thumb to wipe away a tear I never knew I shed.

When I imagined the time when Riku started speaking to me again, I had never anticipated it to be emotional. Just listening to the way how he sounded so broken and so different from what he used to be was enough to make tears come forth. And when I think about the past four years, I understand completely what he means about 'feeling empty', because I guess some part of me did as well. But I've had Kairi and Tidus and all the rest to stick with me all that time; Riku's had no one. No one to take care of him and tell him it's okay when it's not. No one to hold his hand and tell him it's not worth it. No one.

I can't see his older brother, Sephiroth, into the whole caring thing, especially since he's a workaholic and neither of his cousins have shown much interest in him either. Kadaj and Yazoo, the twins, always did everything together while Loz always was a ladies man and never really had time for someone else. That would probably be the reason why Riku and I used up all of each others time. Riku never got too involved with his family apart from his mom and dad, so I doubt that his brother and cousins ever comforted him for anything, or cared about what he thought. And I can't understand why, Riku's mind is just as beautiful as his soul and anyone who can't see that is just ignorant and blind.

Riku's sentence made me sigh in relief, though there was always some part of me that knew Riku never hated me, it was so much better to hear him say it. "Then why did you leave us Riku?"

The sad smile dropped and he turned his face away from mine once more. "That doesn't matter anymore Sora." He said darkly, trying to avoid the subject, but I wasn't giving up so easily.

He was just about to retrieve his hand from my face, but my quick reflexes kicked in and both of my hands grabbed his eagerly. "Please Riku," I begged, "I need to know what it is that I – we did wrong." He was going to say something else, but I quickly cut him off. "I need to know because… I don't want to lose you again."

"Sora, none of you guys did anything wrong. It was my entire fault, and now that it's over, I don't know how to remedy it. I won a battle, and a choice that I had to make for myself, but in the end I gained nothing and lost everything - every_one_ special to me." I had no clue as to what he was talking about, and I wanted to ask him, but I know that he would find some way to avoid it. "Come to think of it, I don't even see the point of me trying anymore. Everyone's probably forgotten about me by now."

"Riku that's not tru-"

His sad chuckle stopped me speaking. "Kairi hates me, Selphie's disappointed in me. Tidus and Wakka think I'm an ass for the way I've treated you and they hate me for kicking their asses in gym." He shrugged, and a small tiny smile crept on my lips at what he just said. "Roxas wants to kill me and as far as everyone knows, I'm just the unpopular guy sitting in the back of the corner who does his work."

"Well it's not as though w are popular ourselves Riku." I offered as a way to try and get him to talk more. But when I heard him snort at my comment, I gave him a questioning look. "What? We aren't popular, that's all Seifer and his gang."

"Are you kidding? Everyone hates Seifer! He's only popular for beating kids and bullying. The only thing is that he's rich enough to get away with it, his family pays generous amounts to the school and that's why he doesn't get in trouble.

"So, how does that make us the popular ones?" I asked, still intrigued with his earlier comment.

"Oh come _on_ Sora. You've got Kairi: the hot rich girl who every girl wants to be and every guy wants to date. Selphie: the cute smart girl who can sweet talk her way into anything. Wakka: The muscled hot guy with an accent all the girls love, Tidus: the hot flirty guy who loves sports along with Wakka and then you've got you: The fun guy who everyone loves and knows. You're like everyone's friend, and people can trust you."

I could feel the air lighten around us, there was hardly any tension and any traces of awkwardness were gone. Thinking about what Riku said did make sense, but I was too oblivious to realize it. We were – are the popular group in the school, just without the snotty attitude. Everything seemed to fit, and then I realized that there was one fatal flaw in what Riku just said. "Hey," I whined and nudged the silverette lightly on his arm. "I was the only one who didn't get a 'cute' or 'hot'." I said jokingly and pouted once Riku looked to me and smiled.

He rolled his eyes, but the smile was still on his face, that was the most important thing to me. "Fine Sora, you're hot and cute as well," He replied in the same joking tone, but sarcastically as well. I grinned, satisfied with his pathetic attempt to keep me content. Then all seriousness was back and the everlasting awkward silence returned. Riku spoke after a couple of minutes. "If I was to come back now, I'd just ruin whatever happiness you guys have formed for yourselves. I can't – won't be responsible for making you guys unhappy again."

"Riku, we've been unhappy since you left. If you were to come back, things would get better. I know that we've only a week until we finally finish school, but I want you to be there that week… with me." I murmured the last part, a bit embarrassed at how he would interpret it. But when he smiled, I knew I had nothing to fear.

"I know you do Sora, and I wish it was that easy as well, but the fact of the matter is that it's not. It's been so long that I've wanted to come back to you guys and you have no _idea_ how long I've waited for this school year to be nearly over just so that I can see your faces again. I really want to rebuild our friendship again Sora – I really do, but it's not that easy, I'm leaving soon… and everyone probably can't wait to see the back of me."

"Don't talk like that Riku. Of course we want you to stay, _I_ want you to stay. I've wanted nothing else for the past four years. Nobody hates you Riku, we're just confused as to why you left. But if you apologize and explain, then things can go back to the way they were." I tried to reassure him, but I think that even I knew it wouldn't be that easy.

"I think I should go-"

"Please, _please_ don't leave me again Riku." I begged, I could feel the tears beginning to spring up to my eyes, but I didn't care if Riku saw them. My eyes closed on their own accord as if to stop Riku from seeing how much emotional pain I was in. "Just… I don't understand and I know that you don't want to talk about it… we can just sit here if you want… just please don't leave again."

I kept my eyes closed, too afraid that my little plea wouldn't reach him. It wasn't until I felt a pair of cold hands wrap around my own, that I opened them and to tear glazed teal. "Okay Sora, I'll stay." I could see in his eyes that he was fighting back tears, forcing them not to leave his eyes and made them appear more aquamarine than usual.

The sight of them alone was enough to make a single tear drop from one of my eyes each in appreciation. I mouthed the words 'Thank You', not entirely trusting my voice right now. Riku's broken smile faded instantly and he diverted his attention back to the wall in front of us.

Riku's always been the stronger one out of the two of us, and I don't just mean physically, but mentally also. He always used to protect me from anything he believed would harm me. So is that why he's not telling me why he left? To protect me? Does he really believe that I need protecting after all these years? I sighed heavily and allowed my eyes to close, on their own accord, more peacefully and let myself get lost in my own thoughts. If Riku didn't want to talk then he didn't have to talk. Just being in the same room as him – next to him – was enough to satisfy me. For now.

Minutes passed faster than seconds with neither of us moving from our positions. It wasn't until I could feel myself slowly losing consciousness, that I cursed myself for closing my eyes. If I was to go to sleep now, Riku might leave and who knows how long it would be until I see him again? No – sleep was something that just wasn't worth the risk, no matter how badly I needed it. Suddenly the sound of slightly irregular breathing forced my eyes to languidly open, slowly; I looked to my side and up to Riku. The silverette, who supposedly hadn't moved since I asked him to stay, was… was crying. The tears were silent, and almost unnoticeable, but they were still there.

Riku looked like he was in another world; his arms were folded over his chest. The cracks were finally starting to show as he didn't even try to wipe away the salty droplets away. Since I was already in a slackened position, I sat up properly and continued to stare at my friend. He didn't blink or move or try and get rid of the evidence that so clearly tainted his virtuous face.

"Do you remember the last time I crept into your room?" He asked me, his voice was so soft and so far off, as though he had been dreaming.

"Yeah." My voice broke a bit just from saying that one word. "It was four years ago…" I drifted off and waited to see if he wanted me to continue or not, but he did that for me.

"The night…" He sighed audibly and closed his eyes, allowed a new stream of tears to flow, then continued. "The night my mom and dad died." He opened his eyes, completely void of life itself as he stared back at the wall.

I nodded, debating in my head whether keeping Riku here was a good idea or not. I've reduced him to doing the one thing he hates me seeing: his tears. "I remember," I whispered. A new wave of guilt washed over me and made me want to shed a few tears myself. Thankfully they didn't fall. This time, I knew, I had to be the stronger one. "You came to my window at like three o clock in the morning, wearing only those –

"Black and silver pajama pants." We said in unison. A small smile played on my lips, whereas he chuckled a bit.

"My dad, he hated them, but my mom loved them." He continued. "She used to say that they bring out the 'inner clown in me' because one leg was black with silver stripes and the other leg was silver with black spots." He smiled. "Then I would always reply with 'Sora's the one who brought them for me.'"

"For your birthday right?" I reminded him. I remember when I bought them for him. He claimed that he had no PJ pants and that there were none that actually suited him. Boy did I prove him right.

"Yeah," he agreed. "But my father, he hated them because I wore them all the time, and it was hard to take me seriously. He… he always wanted Seph and I to have the best. Even when Kadaj and the rest of my cousins were living with us, he always expected more from Sephiroth and me. Always wanted us to be more than what we were."

I nodded in understanding. Jared, his dad, was always tough on Riku, but they both loved each other enough to respect one another's wishes. Whenever Jared asked Riku to do something, he would, and whenever Riku asked Jared to back off, he would. "Uh-huh." I said, waiting for him to continue.

"Sephiroth was always able to get over the things that my dad gave him. Seph he's… a lot stronger than me." He admitted sadly. "Two thirty-two." I looked at him perplexed, which I don't think he saw. "You never forget the time that two police officers knock at your door and give you news that could quite possibly change your life." He blinked back a few tears and allowed them to cling closely onto his long eyelashes.

"Riku, you know you don't have to continue if you don't want to. I don't want to pressure you or make you feel uncomfortable."

He shook his head, silver locks swaying lightly in the motion. "I opened the door that night, with Sephiroth right behind me incase it was someone we didn't know. The minute I saw the two cops, I knew. I knew it was about my parents. When they told us that they were involved in a car accident and by the time that they got there my parents were 'dead on arrival' I didn't want to believe it – I couldn't believe it."

"You've never told me this before." I murmured guiltily. "I'm so sorry Riku." I felt the need to apologize, because at the time, I wasn't there to help Riku deal with his grief. I wasn't there to help deal with this pain.

He shook his head harder; a remorseful sob silently escaped his lips. "Don't apologize Sora. You were the only one that day who actually comforted me." I shot him another bewildered look, "Loz ran off to the backyard to cry then Yazoo went to soothe him. Kadaj was trying to comfort Sephiroth and I… I had no one. I walked out of the house, no one even tried to stop me." He sighed. "I began to think about my mom and dad, and then I was sick…"

I stared at him shocked.

"…I threw up everything I had in my stomach. I couldn't even make it half way down the fucking street without breaking down and throwing up." The tears were coming harder than ever, and Riku's pastime story was causing some of my own to flow. "The only thought that kept me going was you Sora." Finally he turned to look at me, tear eyes filled and leaked with pained tears.

He brought a hasty thumb up to my face to wipe away the tears again. "I remember that night," I started. "You managed to break in without breaking a thing. You were soaked because of the rain. I was still sleeping but somehow… I knew you were there. I woke up and saw you on the floor crying…"

"You came over and comforted me without even needing a reason…"

"You kept on saying that it was 'your fault' and I couldn't get you to calm down…"

"You hugged me and allowed me to cling onto you as hard as I could. You kept on telling me that it was going to 'be alright' and that 'things will work out'." I nodded. "But the thing is you didn't ask any questions… you just trusted me." I nodded again, not liking where this conversation was going.

Before he could get another word in, I spoke. "Riku," I said breathily "Please just come back to us."

I looked up to him with pleading eyes but he just smiled and brushed a few strands of hair away from my face. "Don't you see Sora?" his voice was calm, understanding even. "I don't belong. You've got your own life with Kairi and the guys. I don't belong with my family, my friends – _ex_-friends. I just don't belong anywhere… Only when I'm with you do I actually feel wanted. It wouldn't be fair on any of you guys if I was to come back. I'm sorry Sora."

Is this what Riku's been going through this whole time? All this self loathing and pity? Where's the Riku who used to be brave and a fighter? Where's the Riku who didn't care what people thought or said about him? Where's the Riku who I fell in love with?

I hate seeing him like this, so down and lost. He wasn't even this emotional at his parent's funeral, though, I think that has something to do with Sephiroth. I can't believe his whole entire family has left him on his own, fair enough Riku is old enough to take care of himself, but a few weeks are ridiculous. Do they really care for him that little?

I didn't even have time to think before I reacted and pulled him into a hug, whether he wanted one or not. It took a few seconds for Riku to adjust to the embrace, but the minute his arms wrapped around me, I sighed into his shoulder. My tears were long gone, as were his, and all that remained was the silence we kept ourselves in. I didn't want to move, I just wanted to lay here in his arms all day and all night long. It felt like an eternity ago since the last time he held me in his arms, and the feeling was overwhelming. This is what I've wanted for a long time, to be next to Riku and to just… understand him.

Kairi and the others may think that he left because he was sick of us or something, and even though _I_ don't know the actual reason _why_ Riku left in the first place, at least I know that it wasn't intentional. Or he doesn't want it to be this way. Last time I didn't even fight for our friendship, I just let it go and grieved about it, but this time things will be different. Riku may not think that there is a chance to save our friendship, but I know otherwise. I wont let him leave for college without knowing that he has us to come back to incase things don't work out or something, just like Wakka said.

The hug was short-lived, but at least it existed. Riku refused to let me go, so I lay there with my head on one of his shoulders, while he kept his arms around me. I cursed myself inside out for allowing my eyes to close once more; sleep was something that always followed crying in my case. There were no more words shared between us two, and the silence was bearable and comfortable. I was barely clinging onto consciousness since Riku showed up, but falling asleep in his arms was an alternative to sleeping in my bed alone, that I was willing to comply with.

**: : **

I didn't dream, I didn't need to.

When I woke up the next morning, the faint smell that was undeniably Riku still drifted in the air. Some part of me knew last night that he wouldn't stay the full time, but at least he stayed until I slept. Last night really opened my eyes to see how Riku's been feeling, I just hope he's in school today. I woke ten minutes before my alarm was supposed to be set off, and decided to get ready now. There was no point hanging around for nothing, and I kind of wanted to be on time for school today.

Once I was dressed, bathed and clean, I went into the kitchen to see Cloud and Leon sitting on the high chairs, drinking their coffee and reading the newspaper. I strolled past them and went straight for the refrigerator with milk being my main objective. "Morning," I murmured, my voice slightly croaky from last night.

"Morning," they replied. Cloud flipped a page of the newspaper whilst Leon looked up to me and raised his mug to his lips. "Did you sleep alright last night? Your light was on all night and morning." He informed me then took a sip of the tasteless drink.

I shrugged, and tried my best to pull of a mild confused face. "Oh, was it? I didn't even realize, yeah, I slept fine. What about you guys? Isn't it difficult sharing the same bed?" I questioned innocently, trying to get the subject off of me.

Cloud smirked into his coffee before sipping lightly, whilst Leon was sputtering some of his back out and chocked slightly. I grinned as I leaned over the counter and watch my brother redden. Cloud was nursing Leon's back, though, not whole heartedly. He kept his eyes focused mainly on his newspaper and the other hand still holding his coffee. "It's fine thank you Sora." The blond answered for the brunette with a smirk in place.

As Leon was still trying to get some air back into his lungs, Roxas decided to enter in the kitchen, running a hand through his blond spikes as he did so. "Who died?" My twin asked sardonically, ignoring the glare he got from Leon, and went to the refrigerator next to me.

"You're up late," I noticed, usually, Roxas would be getting ready to leave by now.

"And you're up early," he countered and began making himself a sandwich. "Axel isn't coming into school today, so I thought I'd walk with you." He gave me a sharp look then returned to buttering his bread. I knew what that look meant, it meant that we were going to talk and talks with Roxas meant that he would be trying to pound some knowledge in my head and I won't even get a word in.

After last night, I don't know if I can have another conversation about Riku. I know already all of what Roxas wants to say to me, but I also know that he can't change my mind or tell me how to feel. This is my choice and no matter what he, or Riku for that matter, says, I won't go on in my life knowing that this time I didn't fight for him.

"Or _maybe_, we could hitch a ride on Clouds cool bike." I offered and gave the blond my cheesy grin with fluttered eyelashes and a pleading face.

"Nice try," Leon commented, having regained composure ages ago and now began to read the paper Cloud had before.

"There's no getting out of it Sora," Roxas informed me as he placed a cheesy sandwich in my hand and walked past me out of the kitchen. "Make sure you're ready. We're leaving in five." He called out to me and his footsteps trailing up the stairs echoed in the silence.

"Why do I always feel like the younger one?" I murmured to my shoes then looked up at Leon and asked, "I swear I was born like fifteen minutes before him."

"Thirteen," Leon corrected immediately. His voice was lower than usual and he seemed and he wasn't even looking at the newspaper any more. "You guys were born thirteen minutes apart and she was in labor for eight hours."

I didn't say anything in reply. Leon made the exact same face as Riku did last night, just staring at nothing in particular, but looking as though they were reliving the past. I stared at my brother for a while. Whenever the subject of my mom pops up, Leon is first to abandon the room and not want to talk to anyone, but this is the first time he's done this though. To tell the truth it felt a little better to see Leon react this way instead of the whole storming out of conversation. Does this mean he's finally ready to talk to us about it? About her death?

I knew that _now_ obviously wasn't the time, but hopefully I won't have to wait for too long. Cloud, too, noticed the change in my brother and placed a warm hand on his shoulder, bringing him out of his reverie. Their eyes met for one quick moment, and the small smile Cloud wore reflected on my brother. It was more of a reassuring smile than anything, but it seemed to calm Leon a bit more, and that for me was good enough. I couldn't help but think about _why_ Roxas hasn't grown accustomed to Cloud. Obviously he's a good guy and all, so why can't my twin at least greet him in the morning?

Leon caught me staring off to space then cleared his throat. "I was going to ask Roxas this yesterday, but why are you guys in uniform?" Yep, Leon sure was back to normal again. He would class even _uniform_ as a cover so that Roxas and I could do something bad. It's not that he doesn't trust us; it's that he doesn't trust the teenage instincts in us to rebel against anything, everything and any or everyone.

"Some jerks started to graffiti our school, so this is the punishment for the whole school. I had a feeling that it was someone from a different school, but I don't know." I finished the sandwich Roxas had given me and began drinking my glass of milk again. "This is our last day with it on, and then we have the whole of next week to wear our old scruffy clothes again."

Leon simply nodded and continued to read. Cloud was back to making another cup of coffee and Roxas came back downstairs. "You ready to go?

"Do I have a choice?" I murmured sullenly and made my way out of the kitchen. I said my goodbyes to my brother and his 'friend', and grabbed my backpack on my way out.

There were only a couple minutes of silence before Roxas decided to speak. "So Sora, what are you going to do now?"

His question caught me a little of guard, I knew we were going to have this conversation, but I guess I didn't want it so soon. I sighed, irritation clear in my voice as I told him, "This better not be about Riku, Roxas."

"Of course it is Sora. I don't understand why you can't see he's going to leave you again." He complained then sighed. "Look Sora, I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that I know what you're going through, because I don't. But what I do know is that If Riku was able to leave you before and not give you an explanation, then surely he doesn't care about you enough and will do it again."

"Roxas, you don't even know what's going on. Me and Riku aren't friends anymore or anything okay? We're just… we're history partners." I offered as a lieu of an answer. "We got partnered up in history and now we have a project to do. We met up at Scarlets and did some of our work there, and then we went to the beach to get the rest of it done." I lied. I knew that nothing good would become of anything if Roxas knew the truth. He'd probably team up with Kairi and find some way to get my mind off him.

But the fact of the matter is that I don't think anything can get me to stop thinking about him. After what he told me last night, there would be no way that I'm going to stop thinking of him or a way so that he's back with us before he leaves. It still seems surreal to me that for the first time in seventeen years there's going to be a whole world between Riku and I. Even when it was mine and Roxas' seventeenth birthday and we went skiing in Hollow Bastion, Riku was there with Loz on some trip of some sort. Whenever we went on vacations or something when we were younger, Riku always came with us, just as Hayner did with Roxas. I don't even know _where_ he's going college and how far it is.

I was thankful and relieved once I saw our school in view, across the street, but my back was met with the stomp of a tree and all signs of relief were gone. I looked at my shoulder and saw one of Roxas' hands on it keeping it there. Then I looked at Roxas, a scowl in place and blue eyes dark with anger and annoyance. "Look, I know when you're lying to me Sora and I know what you're thinking. The fact of the matter is that no matter what the circumstances are, Riku isn't going to come back fully. There will always be something pulling him back and just before you know it, he'll be gone. Again."

Without even thinking, I pushed his hand off from my shoulder and began walking off, this time at a faster pace and without my twin. Was I really being that reluctant not to listen that he had to force me? Fair enough, this wasn't the first time that this had happened, but he still had no right. Maybe I shouldn't have lied to him, or maybe I should really take into consideration of what he's saying. Once I reached past the school gates, I turned to see that Roxas remained leaning against the tree. He had his face down so I was only met with blonde spikes rustling in the light wind.

I suddenly felt guilty. All he was trying to do was help me and open my reluctant eyes to the truth. I know that if Riku could decide what would happen, he too would force me to forget him. He thinks that he's ruined my life enough and that I deserve better. To me, there is no better than Riku, he's known me all those years and we've been through so much already. Things seem different when I'm with him, they seem simple and complex. I'm able to open myself freely to him and he enables me to forget about most of my problems. It's also complicated because the time I'm with him, it's limited and like Roxas said, there's always something holding him back.

I entered into the school grounds without giving my brother a second look because I know if I did, I would just apologize deeply then get into another argument about Riku. That was something I could do without. Hanging my head low, I walked past the playing grounds and onto the field where I knew my friends would be.

What I wasn't expecting was the minute I reached my so called friends, I was met with one pair of hazel and sky blue angry eyes, one pair of violet _very_ angry eyes and one set of murderous green eyes. Oh Crap. I looked at them all, anxiety practically radiating from me as I stepped cautiously back from the glares and scratched nervously on my neck so hard that I'm sure it was going redder than red. Selphie stood immediately with both hands on her hips and a faint image of the devil in her eyes. She pointed a finger at me and looked at me accusingly as the rest of them stood behind her. I didn't even offer a greeting or any type of hello once I arrived; I knew that I was in deep, deep, _deep _crap_._

"What did I do now?"

**: : : : : :**

**AN:**I just wanted to say again thanks for the reviews and don't let them stop on account of my rambling XD Oh, and I just wanted to say that no one picked up on something very important on the previous chapter. If you look back on it now and think about something that seems '_iffy' _send your thoughts in a review. Sorry for the wait of each chapter, I will try and update as much as possible XD.

x-Jaela-x


	9. Lost

**Hopelessly I'll Love You Endlessly**

**Disclaimer:** I don't own Sora… Riku does and he is owned by Square-Enix who basically owns Kingdom Hearts. Me… I just about own my PS2 and even I don't get full control over it

**AN:** Okay, first things first: I'm So **Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry SORRY **for the wait of this chapter. My internet went the day after I posted the previous chapter and ever since then, that evil woman I call a mother has been promising to get it back on…but never did. So with that explained I need to say **Sorry** again. This chapter has been hanging over my head for like ever and I just had to go to an internet café to get it posted. Thanks for all the reviews, alerts and favorites and sorry, again, for taking so long to reply to them. So without further comments, I bring you…:

**Chapter Nine**

**Lost**

Selphie took one step forwards, so I took one step back, the look in her eyes was absolutely murderous and I mentally kicked myself for coming to school on time. "Don't act like you don't know mister!" she cried enthusiastically.

"I don't know what you're talking about." I defended and took another step back. Thankfully this time she didn't take another step forward and that's when Wakka came forward.

"You know where your brudda went before he came to Scarlets right?"

I shook my head and allowed myself to sit backwards on the bench behind me. It took me a second to register just which brother they were talking about, and then my quizzical look turned sullen once I did. How could I be so stupid? Of course he was going to do something; he wouldn't just let something as deliberate as sneaking out slide. I sighed and bowed my head, not wanting to hear the answer to the question I was about to ask.

"What did he do?"

"Not only did he go to see Lulu to see how she was doing, but he also went to all our houses and told our parents in person that we all snuck out last night." Kairi told me, arms flailing in the air for emphasis and a slight hint of anger in her voice. "Thanks to you, Daddy cancelled my credit card and is forbidding me from going out this weekend, next weekend and the first week of summer vacation!" She cried. To say that there was a slight hint of anger would be an understatement.

Then Selphie took it as her opportunity to complain, grassy green eyes glaring intensely into my guilty blue. "Father is giving me the same punishment except I have to study all weekend and go to work with him so that I don't sneak out again. He might even cancel my trip to Paris." The brunette whined, pouted and crossed her arms over her chest before slumping next to me on the bench.

"That's nothing compared to what I got." Wakka stated as he pointed a thumb on his broad chest. "Because Lulu isn't my parent or anything we decided that she can't give me any punishments like 'grounded' or any of that kind of stuff."

"From where I'm sitting, that seems pretty cool." Selphie interjected and Kairi agreed by nodding.

"No, no, no! You don't understand. I would rather have punishments because then I wouldn't have to listen to a sick Lulu telling me how 'disappointed she was in me'." We all flinched. The whole 'disappointed' speech, no matter how cliché it is to say, always hurts more than when one of your parents are angry. So much more. "It gets worst, because Aerith was there as well, so not only did I get it from Lulu, but from her too." We all flinched again, this time making sore sounds as we did so. "You should have seen the look in their eyes." He added then bowed his head.

I then looked at Tidus, whose glaring look changed into a smug smile. "What about you? Didn't you get in trouble as well?"

His smile broadened, "nope," He answered a bit too happily then sat next to me so that I was in between him and Selphie. "It's not nice when you've got a responsible guardian is it?" Now it was my time to glare at the toothy grin smiling back at me. Tidus put an arm around my shoulder and shook me slightly. "Now you know how it feels to have all these guys blame you."

I didn't even think about that. It felt horrible to have all of them to blame me for something that wasn't even my entire fault. I wouldn't even want to imagine what it would be like for them all to hate me… like how Riku feels. I've known these guys for so long, and to think that just by doing one thing could make them all turn on me so easily was just unbearable. I know that it would never come down to them leaving me no matter what I do, but thinking about it is enough to make me wonder what I would be like if they did.

Kairi, Wakka, Selphie, Tidus and I have been through so much together that I wouldn't even want to imagine what life would be like without them. Childhood friends are hard to let go off, so I couldn't help but wonder what made me let go of Riku so easily. Does he blame me for not trying harder? He already told me last night that he doesn't hate me… but I can't be so sure. They all used to tell to me that _I_ should be the one angry at him for leaving us… but I could never bring myself to. I just –

"Sora!" Kairi cried and snapped her fingers in front of my face to bring me out of my trance, which she did. "Everyone else has already started to head back to class. What is with you?" the wine redhead asked as she started to walk the way others had left. I didn't move and instead chose to remain where I was, causing Kairi to turn back around to me with a huff. "Fine, if you want to sit down there all day and sulk that's fine with me." She stated with a hint of playfulness in her voice. "But just remember we have Vexen first." She sang and turned once more on her heel. Without giving it a second thought I rose from the bench and followed the small mass of people heading for their first lesson of the day.

**: : **

The whole lesson consisted of me remaining as unfocused as ever.

There were a couple of times, at the beginning of the lesson, when Kairi tried to get me to pay attention, but she couldn't make a big deal about it due to the fact that Mr. Rime would embarrass her again. That was something we both could deal without. I knew that she could sense that there was something wrong with me, and that she really wanted to question me about it, but her instincts told her to do nothing.

I did try to involve myself in our little joint project that he set us, but most of the time I found myself drifting off out the window and being off in my own world, a world where things were easy and Riku wasn't reluctant to come back to us. The thing that I don't understand is that he never used to care about what people thought of him when we were younger, so why should now be any different? What was it that made him…? I don't even know what to call him. He hasn't changed because he's still the same Riku, no matter what he or anyone else says, he's still the same Riku… just _different _that's all.

Last night proved to me that on the inside he's breaking down. Riku's always been able to bottle up his feelings and not tell anyone what's going on with him, sometimes he wouldn't even tell me. I wonder how long he's been keeping everything to himself. He even admitted last night that he doesn't particularly get along with his brother and cousins, so who does he have? Fair enough Zexion's there sometimes for him to lean on, but I doubt the two are even all that close.

Riku is strong mentally, and I know this, but if he's hurting I want to be there to help him get through it. I like to see it as the past four years hadn't existed and I was just helping a friend get past some of his emotional baggage. In the past, Riku used to always be there for me as I did for him, so why should now be any different? The fact that we are now on speaking terms and he opened up a little bit to me last night proves that I should be there for him.

It would feel right for me to.

It's hard to explain, but when I'm not around Riku, I don't feel… fixed. It's the only word that describes this _feeling_ perfectly. Riku makes me feel like I'm not broken even when I do break down. There's just something about him that forces me to mentally relax when he's near me. That's something I've been deprived of for a long time now and it's nice to see and speak to him every now and then. But it's not enough. Now that he's re entered himself back into my life, I can't help but want to see more from him and hear more from him. I just hope he feels the same way.

**: : **

I thanked the heavens over and over again once the end of that double period was over. Being released from the intoxicating smells of chemicals and the icy looks the whole class kept on receiving from Mr. Rime was enough to make me kiss the ground beneath me once I exited his room. Kairi refused to leave my sight as soon as we made it out, and once we did she dragged me outside before I could even say a word or protest.

If I'm being completely honest, I didn't want to go with the wine redhead. I knew exactly where she was taking me, and I knew why she was taking me. Kairi is pretty strong for a girl and knows exactly how to get what she wants but this time I doubt she will. What if Riku's right and she really does hate him, I don't want to upset her by talking about him yet… well at least until I know she's ready and more prepared to have this conversation.

The determined redhead threaded me through a mass of people, with no shame, and took me around the corner of the school building where the smokers usually hang. Thankfully, though none of them were there and she was free to speak to me in a private area. Her determined violet eyes befell mine as she gently forced me back onto the wall with one hand. Honestly, what is it with people and slamming me into something? It's not like I'm going to go anywhere even if I had a choice.

"Are you going to spill what's on your mind or not?" She asked impatiently, and before I could respond, she spoke again. "Because you've been in the zombie mood all morning." She complained "You wouldn't even help me in science today and you know I hate _that man_."

"I know, I know. And I'm sorry, I really am. I was just… I've got a lot on my mind." I tried to reason. But as usual, Kairi wasn't letting it go that easily.

"What is on your mind?" I could hear the annoyance in her voice and it was enough to make me crack right there on the spot, but I knew I couldn't. "Sora, you don't speak to us much anymore. You hardly talked last night, and today it was like trying to socialize with a mute ghost. If you tell me what's on your mind, then maybe I could help."

"Kairi it's noth-"

"Don't tell me it's nothing Sora. Lately it's like you're not you anymore. There's no more bubliness, no more random phrases to come out with." A small smile made its way to her lips as she nudged me playfully. The look Kairi was giving me though was unbearable, and I could feel myself beginning to crack underneath her stare. "Just… talk to me."

'Just talk to me'. What I would give to force those words out of my mouth right now in front of Riku. I don't even know if he'll be in next lesson, history, and this time I know that Zexion wasn't going to be able to bail me out no matter how hard I prayed. That Auron guy freaked me out. He just sat there and stared at the whole class without taking his shaded eyes away from one spot. Also his rough exterior (the battle scar and broken arm) made me feel a bit iffy around him, but Zexion said that he was a nice enough guy.

There was no point in me lying to Kairi, she could read me quite easily like a children's book and I am a horrible liar. A very horrible liar indeed. Her expectant stare was slowly turning into a pout then started to form into a full on puppy look. Why can I never resist this? Damn her and her evil ways to get me to talk. I sighed deeply then turned my face away from hers. I could tell by the corner of my eye that her expression faltered slightly as she raised a sympathetic had on my shoulder.

"Kairi, it's not that I don't want to tell you…it's that I cant. Not until I know how to figure this problem out on my own." I tried to explain.

"That's what I'm saying Sora. You don't have to be alone. Whatever it is, we could sort it out together. Remember when we said that we would always be there for each other?" She asked but I didn't even have time to answer before she continued. "Well, here's me trying to be there for you, but you're being too reluctant to accept it." There was a brief moment of silence between us two with me keeping my gaze firmly away from hers. When I showed no sign of contradicting what was just said, the violet eyed girl continued. "We have a whole half hour until our next lessons begin, so you might as well start explaining."

To prove that she wasn't letting up her guard, she slumped backwards onto the opposite wall from me with her arms folded defiantly over her chest. Her stare was sharp enough to cut paper and her whole demeanor breached that she wasn't backing down. I squeezed my eyes shut as I tried to run a stressed hand through my unruly spikes. Why couldn't she just let this go and allow me to do what I needed to do on my own?

It's always been like this with Kairi. She's known me so long that she actually believes that I can't tackle down my own problems and that everything needs to be shared with her. The fact of the matter is that I _want_ to tell Kairi what's been bugging me. I want to come clean and pour everything that I've been bottling up for so long out to her, but when it comes down to the sensitive subject of Riku, Kairi dismisses the subject almost as quickly as it started. It's like whenever I try to talk to Leon about our mother, they both would rather avoid the conversation and do everything in their power to do so.

Besides, Kairi would find it weird if I was to start talking about Riku out of the blue. But we both know that it's only a matter of time until I crack and tell her the truth. I just don't know how I'm going to be able to explain _why_ I've kept my feelings about him secret.

Finally I met her determined stare as I tried to battle out in my mind what I was going to say. The shade provided from being in between the two walls was comforting and provided a cool enough atmosphere for me to try and talk. Impatience practically beamed from her dull expression. "Sora, I'm waiting." She stated, annoyed.

"Kairi, I need you to understand that this is my problem that _I_ need to sort out." I could tell that she was about to cut in and I knew what she was going to say, but I quickly got there before she could interrupt. "I know you want to help, and I know you're worried, but honestly there's no reason to. I've just got-"

"-a lot on my mind." She finished off for me then sighed deeply. "Sora, I just want to help you." Kairi pleaded and took a step forwards so that she was standing directly in front of me. Her expression was low and sad, and I was just grateful that it wasn't the puppy dog one that always gets to me. But this look made my stomach tie knots and made me feel so guilty. I felt as though I just kicked a new born kitten – and it felt horrible. "The last time I saw you like this was –" Her sullen expression soon turned confused then curious as she looked away from me. Violet eyes squinted and Kairi looked like she was in her own world and wondering how to get out.

The sudden silence was killing me. What just happened to make her stop talking mid sentence like that? Once enough was enough and Kairi's thinking face hadn't disappeared, I raised a warm finger under her chin to look at me head on. "Was…?" I repeated where she left off earlier.

The auburn haired teen closed her eyes then shook off her thoughts with a shake off the head. "Nothing." Her annoyed tone from earlier had completely vanished and was replaced by a distant one. I was thankful to see that Kairi looked like she was dropping this subject, but some part of me was on edge and was wondering why. The auburn haired teen continued to stare out into nothing once more then started to walk off, slowly, so that I could catch up with her.

We reached the cafeteria to meet with the others and Kairi still looked in deep concentration, though, she tried to hide it as best as she could. She sat on the neglected seat between Wakka and Selphie while I sat opposite them next to Tidus. "What took you guys so long?" Tidus asked, distracted by the spinning Blitzball on his middle finger. "Did Vexen keep you behind again or something?"

I was about to shake my head, but Kairi's nodding stopped me. "Yeah, that man hates us and it's all thanks to _Sora_ here that we have to go back to him after school." Kairi gave me a look as if to say 'play-along-or-else' with edgy eyes and a cheesy smile.

"Dude," Tidus began again, "What did you do?" The blond put the ball down on the table and looked at me with an expectant look. The others looked at me also and made me feel a bit nervous.

"I-"

"He wouldn't stop talking about uselessness even when Vex told him not to. So therefore I got in trouble as well because big mouth here couldn't keep it shut." She smiled at me, though I knew it was a fake one, and then stole the can of soda that sat next to Tidus' ball.

Selphie suddenly beamed up and clasped her hands together, Wakka smiled faintly and returned to eating his potato chips whereas Tidus spoke again. "So you actually had a conversation?" The table jumped slightly as someone on the opposite side kicked Tidus from underneath the table. "Ouch! Geeze, can't a guy ask a question?" He complained then began to nurse his wound.

"Not when it's one like that." Wakka argued back. "So you guys gotta go back after school? Man that sucks. There was one time I had to stay back with him and he wouldn't let me leave until I cleaned up his whole classroom because me and… my friend started messing about in this classroom."

"Who was this friend?" Selphie asked, seemingly interested in Wakka's story. I knew this story; I had heard it a long time ago. But back then, it wasn't Wakka who told me it.

He dismissed the matter with his hand. "This was all the way back when I first started high school. You guys weren't even here yet. It was that long ago, I don't even remember." Wakka claimed, then made an attempt to finish off his food but my voice stopped him.

"It was Riku, wasn't it?" They all looked at me with shock and surprise written all over their faces, I didn't even need to look up from the ground to see this. My thumbs fiddled idly as I continued to stare at my lap. "Well?" I asked with sadness entwining itself in my voice. I looked up to see Wakka looking like he had been caught red handed trying to sneak some cookies out of the cookie jar.

The orange haired teen was about to speak, but Kairi, as usual, got there before he could. "What would make you think it was him?" She sounded irritated and her face didn't contradict it either. She tapped her fingers impatiently one by one on the table as she expected my answer.

I shrugged. "I'm not stupid Kairi. Every time you guys want to talk about something that involves Riku, you change the subject or act like he didn't exist."

"That doesn't mean it was him though."

"I _know_ it was Kairi."

"How?"

"Because I just do." I was starting to get agitated myself now and you could hear it in my voice. Whenever we get into a conversation about Riku, Kairi and I always argue until one of the other guys stop it. Neither I nor her would drop the subject purely because we want to get whatever message we are trying to send into each others skulls.

"He's right ya, it was Riku." Wakka admitted shamefacedly. "We don't talk about him because we don't want to upset you – either of you. Every time his name gets brought up into conversation, you two argue like cats and dogs and it drives us nuts." Wakka explained then Selphie nodded in agreement.

"It upsets me more when we don't talk about him though. He was one of our best friends remember?"

"Well he's not anymore so there is no point talking about him." Kairi folded her arms over her chest and looked away, marking the end of this conversation. But as always when it comes down to the topic of Riku, I wasn't giving up.

"That doesn't mean we can't talk about him though. I miss him and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Even after all these years I still want him to come back, is that so wrong?" I asked the group with hope in my eyes.

"I miss him too." Selphie murmured and agreed. I broke out into a wide smile once I heard her say that, but it faded slowly once she looked up at me sorrowfully. "But that doesn't mean that I've forgiven him for just up and going on us like that." I smiled and nodded. I understood what she was saying, then my smile broadened as Wakka and Tidus nodded along.

"I mean, the only time I hate the guy is in gym class when he's on the opposing team and whoops us all. But I don't hate him or anything, I'm just…annoyed with the fact that he left us without an explanation." Wakka confirmed.

"Ditto," Tidus offered then we all looked at Kairi. You could tell that she was mad and we all knew the reason why. "You okay Kairi?" the blond asked uncertainly, earning another kick from under the table. "Ow!" He complained. "Could the 'kicking Tidus from under the table' game stop now?" He protested and went to rub the new wound. I have a feeling that this time it was Selphie.

"What is it about him that you hate? It's been four years Kairi; you need to learn to get over things." I told her. My annoyed tone making it's reappearance in my voice.

"If you must know, I hate everything about him. He was a complete jerk to all of us and he wouldn't even explain why." She spat out venomously.

"That doesn't mean anything anymore Kairi." I lied, but it was to try and win her over. "Don't you remember what it was like when he was with us? The stuff we did and shared? Don't you remember how he used to protect us and was a damn good friend?"

Her glare was dispersing slightly as the fire in her eyes was dying down. "Of course I remember all those days." She murmured defeated. "I don't even see the point of us having this conversation; he's not coming back so we might as well drop it." She declared defiantly.

"Would you two cool down already?" Tidus outburst was irritated as he ran a tired hand through his blond strands. "You're annoying the crap out of me with your arguing. It's exactly like Wakka said, whenever Riku's brought up in conversation, you two just argue like mad while we just sit and watch on the sidelines."

"So, for everyone's benefit, we might as well not talk about Riku?" I asked sadly and bowed my head once more.

"No – That's not what I meant." Tidus tried and waved his hands about the place trying to get my attention.

"It's okay Tidus. I know what you meant." I attempted to smile in his direction, but they could tell it was a fake one as they didn't smile back. "Sorry guys," I apologized guiltily. Obviously they wouldn't want to talk about him. What was I thinking? It's just that when Wakka tried to act like he didn't know who Riku was, I was hurt. It hurt to know that they would rather not talk about him in the good memories and then talk horribly about him in the bad. Kairi was prime example of this, and as much as I love the girl, her reluctance to acknowledge the good times with the silverette always rattled some sort of anger in me.

When we were younger, Riku would always be protective of all of all of us. Sometimes he could be overprotective over Kairi and me… but at least he showed he cared. And though Kairi did love him, there was no denying the slight hint of jealousy that reflected in her eyes whenever we would hang out with each other. It was just… there are some things Kairi couldn't do and there were some things I couldn't tell her that I could with Riku and vice versa. Maybe it was because we both knew each other since birth, or because our families were connected somehow. Either way, as cliché as it sounds, there is a spot in me that only Riku can fill and lately it's been so empty.

Never before have I craved something – someone – so much. If someone was to have told me two weeks ago that Riku would be on some sort of speaking level with me, I would have laughed in their face. But because it _has_ actually happened, I find myself wanting more from him. As selfish as it may sound, I just want Riku all to myself, so that I can recollect the past four years of lost memories. So what if he's leaving in a couple of months. Does that mean that I should just forget about him and give up?

I looked around at our table and saw that everyone had guilty or sad looks on their faces. All because of me and my incapability to keep my big trap shut. It's just… I was so determined to prove to myself that they _didn't_ hate Riku but it's true what they said: whenever he's brought up into conversation, we all constantly argue. Kairi was the only one who didn't look guilty _or_ sad but angry as she was the only one who stared at me directly. I couldn't take anymore of these looks from my friends, even if they weren't all directed at me, and solemnly rose from my seat. The hind legs of the chair cut through the silence that formed around us and caused all blue, green hazel and violet eyes to stare at me.

I sent them all an apologetic smile. "Guys I'm going to head back to class, I've got history anyways so I'll catch you guys later." I adjusted the strap of my backpack then turned to leave.

"No Sora, please don't go. We've still got like fifteen minutes until the end of break." Selphie cried, I turned around to look at her and the sight made tight knots in my stomach. Her green eyes started to shake and appeared as though she was about to cry.

Wakka instinctively went into 'big brother' mode and wrapped a protective arm around her shoulders. "It's okay ya, let him go and we'll see him at lunch." He said soothingly to the brunette then turned to me. "Right?"

I shook my head enthusiastically then bent over the table to rustle some of her brown strands. I heard her whine then her natural girly instincts kicked in as she retreated from her bag a mirror and a brush to deal with the damage. "We have English together after we have history so you better be in a better mood mister!" She smiled and triggered a small one from me.

"Don't worry I will."

"Yeah Selph, don't worry. He'll be on a great mood because he has 'you-know-who' to cheer him up in his next lesson. That's the only reason why he wants to leave now." Kairi announced stubbornly. Just what was her problem? Didn't we get off the subject of Riku? This happens every time, every damn time – we have any type of conversation about him. I think the only time we haven't argued about him, when he was brought up, was the night after the party when we shared the cake. But even then we didn't talk about him… not really anyway. In actual fact, these are the only times when I see Kairi this… bitchy. It's just so hard when you're best friends fight and you're stuck dead in the middle.

"Would you just give it a rest Kairi? The conversation is over. Sora's leaving now so there's no need to complain anymore." Tidus defended for me, although it was muffled by his hands covering his face.

By now, we were all staring at the moody teenager who looked the other way. I wasn't mad with Kairi because on some level I could understand why she was feeling the way she was towards the silverette. It's amazing how after four years, he's still able to rattle her skin kind of. Riku was always great at doing that and he doesn't even have to be here to recreate that same effect.

"No, it's cool." I sighed then turned around to once more to leave the cafeteria. "I guess I'll catch you guys later." This attempt to leave was not failed once I left the cafeteria. I looked up to the heavens with wide eyes and a sigh of relief as I leaned against the doors. The tension that formed between us was so thick you could cut it with a blade and it was suffocating me. And if looks could kill, I think we'd all be six feet under from the ones that we received from Kairi.

My friends – Riku – Roxas – School – it was all too much to think of in one go. So much has happened in the past 24 hours that I don't even want to comprehend how I'm going to sort it out. I just… I just want to get away.

My feet dragged me as far away from the cafeteria as possible, (not that I was complaining or anything) and without my permission, took me straight to the lockers. People were still inside fanning themselves with the notes they had from previous lessons. It was absolutely ridiculous that we had to wear these heavy materials in weather like this. I mean come _on_! It's Destiny _Islands_ for Gods sake and they still haven't even fixed the air conditioning. This school has been promised a lot of changes, but they were never received.

One of which is these lockers. They're disgusting: they have graffiti written all over them, the paint is wearing off and some don't even lock properly so you can even see some people's belongings. And let me tell ya – there are some things I would rather not see in people's lockers – let's just say after what I saw back in eighth grade, I've never been able to look at Olette the same way.

Unfortunately, my locker was one of the one's at the end of the row. So I had to walk past a few teenagers making out to get there. Honestly, some people are so eager to let it be known that they've courted someone that they have to show the entire student body. After nearly throwing up my insides at the sights, I reached my locker and had never been so thankful to see the old rusting metal storage. My original plan was to get a couple of comics so that I could read them during history. I had a feeling that Riku wasn't going to show up and I was damn sure that Zexion wouldn't be able to bail me out this time. So seeing as I don't know what the hell I'm doing for that project, reading about a half man half spider kicking someone's ass is the next best thing.

Once I was done fiddling with the code to the lock and managed to get the necessary resources needed, I slammed my locker shut then contemplated whether or not I should go the long way or the short way to get to Lulu's classroom. At the end of this hallway of lockers was the science department. A place where no student would dream of hanging about in their spare time – hell no student would want to be there when they have classes either. If I was to go the long way, I would have to go through that abandoned department, out to the back, across the field and past the math hallway as well to get to my lesson.

In all honesty, I really couldn't be bothered, but if I was able to get some fresh air, then I guess it would have to do. I pushed the two doors open and began my descent through the narrow dark corridors. The doors shut with a recurring thud and I ignored the shiver that swiveled its way down my spine. I don't know what I'm afraid of to be honest; I was only here about twenty minutes ago. It's just… when there is no one else here to protect or see you; you tend to get a little nervous. Besides, Vexen was head of the Science department, so he would be expected to be lurking around here somewhere right?

I walked past one of the generic laboratories and noticed the ice blond warden himself eating something that resembles bird seeds **(****1)**. His cold eyes hadn't seen me yet so I made sure that I jogged past that classroom before they could. _Man_ that guy gives me the creeps, and why would _anyone_ want to eat bird seeds? Then I was met with my own science classroom, the dreaded place I was confined to about twenty minutes ago for a whole two hours. Voices were heard on the other side of the door and usually I would have promptly ignored them and walked on… but these ones I knew.

I stopped dead in my tracks once I heard the familiar voices. The door had a large window, which overtook half its space, therefore causing me to kneel down so that I was out of view and so that they couldn't see me listening.

"…I've got to go there again next lesson, it's just…. It's so _hard_. He's trying so hard to mould me into something I'm not – They both are for that matter." Riku stated stressfully then sighed almost inaudibly. I felt bad for eavesdropping on their conversation, but at the same time, this could be the only way I get some sort of insight what going on with him.

"Why does he always take you out of history?" Zexion asked him, I was surprised at how clear I could hear the two, but I needed to listen intently to their conversation so that I knew when they would be exiting the conversation and classroom.

"Because he knows that Lulu would try and talk me out of it, even though I've told him that she's not going to be in lessons. Lulu's taken care of me for the most part of my life, and the school knows this, so it would only be natural for her to not want this for me. Right?" There was a small pause. "The only thing is I _don't_ want this… but by the look of things, I don't have a choice." He sighed again. "As usual." He murmured.

Doesn't have a choice in what? _Who_'s he talking about and what is it that he doesn't want? Just what the hell is going on? My face drew in deep consternation as I tried to figure out these answers, but as I expected… it all came blank. I want to know what Riku was talking to Zexion about… is it really that terrible that he can't tell me? Fair enough, we haven't spoken properly in over a couple of years, and show and tell isn't really on the top of his list, but even so… I just want him to feel free to tell me.

There was light shuffling in the room that the two older males were in, and my heart skipped a beat as I thought that they were exiting the classroom and would have caught me red handed listening to their private conversation. Luckily though, my suspicions were denied as Zexion started speaking again.

"It makes no sense for them to have to do this you." I heard Riku hum is agree, and then slate haired teen started speaking again. "Hasn't Miss. Rune already tried to get you to not go through with it?"

"Obviously, she's been trying since ninth grade. But it's because it's our last couple of days at school that they feel her persistency will be too much."

"I know for a fact that Auron would speak you out of it as well. He's seen and been through so much that I'm aghast he hasn't ended up going unconventional. Maybe he could speak to them or something. I'm pretty sure that he can get them to think aptly about what they're asking you to do."

"They're not asking: they're forcing." Riku corrected then released an open mouth groan. "What am I going to do?" He sounded so helpless and strained… but at the same time calm as his voice always is. A shock of uselessness surged through my body and made me want to break into the room and demand to know what's wrong with him. But the smarter more controllable part of me told me not to and forced me to stay where I was.

"I'm sure you'll think of something." Zexion confirmed reassuringly. I think I heard Riku snort as an answer which made me feel even worse. "Have you spoken to Sora yet?" I felt my heart beat faster at the sound of my name.

This time I definitely heard Riku snort. "Are you kidding?" He asked incredulously. "If I told him this it would devastate him… or maybe not. I don't know. I don't even know where we stand right now anymore." He admitted solemnly, the sound made my heart feel like it had just broken into two crushable pieces.

"Even so, I think he has a right to know. After all, he is your childhood friend and he deserves a lot more credit than what you give him." Zex informed him defiantly.

"Let's not start with this again, Zexion. I know I know. It's not easy when your childhood friends hates you inside out now is it?" Riku argued back emotionlessly.

"I highly doubt that."

"Well I don't."

Zexion sighed loudly in frustration. Riku can conjure that reaction in the most patient of people so it didn't surprise me that with his reluctant attitude that he got that response from Zexion. "This isn't the conversation I was going to start with you in the first place. What I was in actual fact about to say was he's got Auron as a substitute teacher and he needs something to do in lesson. Apparently, you were supposed to be working with him."

"The project Lulu's got us doing." Riku remembered. "I swear to Shiva **(****2)** that Lulu is making me do it on purpose. Like she's trying to warn me or something -"

"First you watch me eating my snack." I jumped and fell backwards at the new voice entering in my head. The only problem is that the voice was speaking directly to me… and it wasn't a pleasant one. "Then you eavesdrop on two of my best students having a private conversation." Oh No. "Tell me Mr. Leonhart, what is it that you seek today? A punishment perhaps?"

I squeezed my eyes shut in embarrassment for getting caught. This man really does have eyes on the back of his head and how long had he been watching me for? Actually…I'd rather not know the answer to that question. Vexen had his arms crossed over his chest and was watching me with those crazy leafy eyes of his while his foot tapped impatiently on the floor. I murmured some words under my breath as slid away from the door so that the other two couldn't see me, then rose from the ground and walked over to my science teacher at the end of the hallway.

He gave me an expectant look as if he was waiting for an explanation or something and I was just about to give in before I he spoke again. "Now, you can either go in there and apologize for eavesdropping, then you'll have a detention for twenty minutes, _or_ you could not tell them which will result in you having an hour and a half detention with me."

"De-Detention? But why? I've done nothing wrong to you." I complained; he was being totally unreasonable and unfair.

"For interrupting my break time Mr. Leonhart. Now which one will it be?" He told me plainly and as lifeless as the dead. This man honestly gives the creeps… and is completely out of order. I didn't speak and instead looked at him incredulously. "Very well, we should let Mr. Schemer and Mr.-"

"-No… wait." I sighed defeated. There's no way I would give that man the satisfactory of ruining my life every chance he got. I get enough of that from Leon and Roxas. "I'll come back after school for an hour and a half." I dreaded every ounce of my body for having to release those words from my mouth. If you squinted hard enough, I'm pretty sure that you'll see something reminiscent of a smirk on Mr. Rime's usually unemotional face. The sight alone made me want to wince _deeply_; fortunately, I know what the consequence would be of this action so I kept it to myself.

He reached into the pocket of his science coat and pulled out the already written and filled in detention slip. I gave him a mild glare once he handed me the slip then walked away back into one of the other classrooms. I stomped off in the other direction of the corridor, walked past the room that Zexion and Riku were currently in, and angrily made my way to my history classroom.

Once I arrived, I still had a whole five minutes to spare and decided that it would be five minutes I can tolerate with Auron. Besides, the man seemed like the type that wasn't too keen on conversation so he was the perfect candidate for what I was looking for right now. Auron sat behind the desk nursing a cup of coffee with a spoon and seemingly uninterested in my contribution to the solitude in the room as I took my seat.

Could this day get any slower? I mean, we haven't even started third period yet and I've already upset about a gazillion people already. I just want this day to be over so that I can start my weekend of torment. Knowing Leon, he'll probably force Roxas and I to listen to one of his lectures about building and architecture or something equally boring. He can be such as sadist at times.

I buried my head in the cave my arms made on the table and waited patiently for the rest of the class to come in. At least this time I came prepared for with comics to entertain me. Where exactly does Riku have to go during these lessons, and why exactly does he have to avoid Lulu? She's not even in school so it wouldn't even matter if he did come into class? But Zexion did say that Auron would make it worse or something – but make _what_ worse? What is everyone hiding? And what is so terrible that it would 'crush me'? I groaned audibly at all the unanswered questions swarming around in my head.

"You're Sora right?" I looked up instantly to see Auron still stirring and watching his coffee. There was no one else in the room so it must've been him who asked me the question. I was a little shocked to know that he remembered my name but shook it off and nodded my head.

"Yes si- Auron." I caught myself before I called him something he didn't want to be called.

"I understand that you are pretty close with Lulu." It wasn't even a question, but more of a statement, nevertheless I found myself nodding to it. "And are you close with her student… Riku?"

The question caught me off guard completely, and caused my mouth to open and close as though I was a fish out of water. I didn't have an answer because I hadn't really thought about it myself. Am I close with Riku? The older male stopped tampering with his beverage and looked up to me, hazel eye glazed with boredom and matched his tone of voice completely. "Excuse me, Auron, if you don't mind me asking, but why are you asking me all these questions?"

I'm not going to lie to you, Auron creates this intimidation in me, and I was trying to do my best at keeping polite. I thought that by answering his question with my own that I could probably divert his mind away from this conversation. He 'hmphed' his way into a smirk, obviously satisfied with whatever it is he got. "My apologies for being intrusive." He claimed then continued on with his earlier ministrations.

I wanted to rephrase my question so that I could get some sort of answer for the mild interrogation that was brought upon me, but the new bodies of classmates slowly filling the room forced me to stay in my seat with my lips sealed and my thoughts to myself. The bell rang throughout the school, alerting the students to get to their next class, because the third lesson of the day had finally arrived.

And it was going to be a long, lonely, uncomfortable one.

**: : **

**AN: **Oh My Days! This took me ages to write. I came down with the severe case of MWB (Major writer's block) and I just couldn't get over it. Also the fact that I have no internet anymore as a punishment for my 'attitude' make's it even more difficult to post lol. I was able to get onto Fan Fiction at school. God I hate school, but the pr0xi3 wouldn't allow me to click on anything! Bloody school!

**1 **One of the teachers that attended my school honestly sat by himself at lunchtime and ate bird food. He would also call his mum at lunch to make sure that she was okay. I thought it was the cutest thing in the world, whereas my friends think it was freaky and weird. Anyways, I thought that that just had to be put in there; I can so (for some sick reason) imagine Vexen doing that. Don't ask why.

**2** I see Shiva from FFX as A Goddess. I don't know the answer to this one either, but I say 'Sweet Shiva' out loud at school most of the time, so it's only appropriate that Riku does as well. XD

Well there are my explanations (Or lack of) and I want to thank everyone for their ideas and thoughts in reviews. Keep 'em coming and thanks a lot once more.


	10. Your Time Of Need

**Hopelessly I'll Love You Endlessly**

**Disclaimer: **If I had three wishes, one would be to own Square-Enix, the other would be to make Sora my permanent wake up call *winks* and I don't think I'd need another wish because if I had those two factors, my life would be complete. XD. But seeing as I don't have that privilege, I don't own Kingdom Hearts.

**AN: **Last chapter I kind of dropped hints as to what's going on Riku's life. So that it's only right that in this one that I… I'll let you find put for yourselves. XD

**Chapter Ten**

**Your Time of Need**

Once again I found myself wasting yet another one of my history lessons away.

I guess that it wouldn't _really_ matter that I was wasting one of my lessons because we're on our last full week at school until summer vacation commences, and when we're on our last couple of days at school we hardly ever do work. But Lulu threatened prom if this assignment wasn't done, and because the majority of this class are in their final grade at school, prom is a must and nothing can ruin it. It doesn't particularly matter if I don't do this project now, because I can do it when I go back to school in September. Oh the joys of being younger than everyone else.

But this lesson, on the other hand, was far from joyful. There was no Lulu, no work, and most importantly, no Riku. I appropriately placed my comic inside one of the text books the other kids were revising from and began to read. I think I've read it about seventeen times already since I got in here, and it's only been half an hour. Thirty minutes down and a further thirty to go. I sighed quite loudly then continued to read the same old mumble jumble that was my comic.

I doubt things would be different right now if Lulu was in lesson 'teaching' us. I'd still be in the same seat, reading the same comic and thinking about the same thing: Riku. What is it that he doesn't want me to know? Is it the same reason why he left us all those years ago? And why the hell isn't he in history for? If he was here right now, we would be talking to each other and working with one another and generally moving forward with our friendship. But _no_! He has to go somewhere and leave me to fend for myself against the curious looks I keep on receiving from Auron. Well, they weren't curious as opposed to plain and uncaring, but… there was something behind them. He was questioning me earlier, about Riku, but what where the answers that he needed to seek?

Maybe he has the answer to the questions I want.

Why else would he ask about Riku, someone, I'm guessing, he hasn't even met before? This feels all too surreal for me right now. It seems that I just can't seem to stop upsetting people no matter what I do, nobody is answering the questions I want, and everything seems so messed up its unreal. I just… just want to go to sleep. In my dreams, as exotic as some may be, I can just allow myself to be…me. They're the only place where I feel untouchable and in some cases I can create my own fate and outcome of the dream. Some turn out bad, some good and others unbelievably creepy, but at least my subconscious mind allows me to relish in some sort of freedom away from my average life.

This is so unfair, and to make matters worse, I have to stay behind tonight for a whole hour and a half. Knowing _that man_ he wouldn't let me go a minute before and he's given it to me for the most stupid reason I can think of. If he wasn't threatening me with the whole telling Riku and Zexion that I was listening to their conversation thing, I would've argued and told him he's insane.

Which he is.

**:: ::**

The lesson took forever to end, but part of me didn't want it to at the same time. Because now I have a lesson with Selphie, and all she's going to do is moan at me for being distant, complain about the whole argument that Kairi and I had earlier and generally be her conniving self in getting me to open up more. She's not even supposed to be _in_ my next lesson, it's only because my teacher's a pushover that she can get away with it. The only thing is, I doubt even _she_ can get me to truly talk about how I feel about Riku and well everything. I'm just… I'm not ready to discuss anything yet. Well at least not to them until I can figure out exactly _how_ they feel about him. I don't want to create another reason why they should complain about him _or_ get into another debate with Kairi. The pair I could really do without right now.

I walked to my next lesson slowly on purpose and I took the longer route. My English teacher was one of those one's that you could make cry easily if you didn't give into their demands or push the right buttons – not that _I_ have ever done that personally, so it would be easy to get away with being a little late. Most of the other students had already made it to their lessons, as I took the longest route possible to get to my next lesson. It wasn't that I was purposely avoiding the brunette; I was just purposely avoiding conversation. I know for a fact that we wouldn't get taught anything in English today even if our teacher wanted us to, so that would just give the brunette a whole hour to interrogate me and use her sneaky tricks to use.

I walked through the abandoned corridors and was met with loud cries erupting from the principles office. Professor Wise's secretary was not in her usual seat so I thought I'd try and get a glimpse at who dared to raise their voice to the head of our school. There was something in the back of my mind telling me that I've done enough eavesdropping for the day, but I couldn't help but entice myself more once I heard _who_ was actually yelling.

"I don't understand why I still have to be in this room and watch this. Its fourth lesson, can't I at least have a break from all of this?"

"My sincerest apologies Mr. Dusk, but I can not allow you to leave for at least another forty five minutes, then you'll be able to go." Professor Wise's British voice replied calmly, not matching Riku's anger.

"This is too much for me to look at right now, so can I _please_ have a break? Ten minutes at the least?" He spat the words out violently, but there was no denying the desperation and pain in his voice.

"I'm sorry, but your -"

"I don't care what he said," he ground out through gritted teeth. "Do you really expect me to be okay after seeing all that and then continue? I just… I want a break." It pained me deeply to hear Riku so… solemn and desperate like this. If he wasn't in the principles office, I would so barge in there and tell him that the principle needs him. But, because he _is_ in the principles office, there is no way I'll have a good enough reason to alert him, he's left me feeling completely and utterly useless for the second time today.

"Sora, what do you think you're doing in here?" My head whipped around to see the tall lean body of none other than nurse Aerith standing at the doorway to the secretary's office. With one hand propped on her hip and the other carrying files, she approached me with a curious but hard look in her eyes. "Why aren't you in lesson?" She reiterated. Why is it always _me_ who gets caught? Why can't life be simple enough to allow me some sort of freedom to be nosy without having to deal with any consequences _or_ get interrupted? It's just – it's not fair. Why does Karma have to be a bitch to me and give me my just deserts before I even finished my meal? Aerith peered over me to get a good look at what was going on in the principles office. Then she gasped. "You shouldn't be listening to this, come on, out of here you."

The sudden change in Aerith's demeanor was a little… startling if I do say so myself. The braided brunette quickly put some of the paperwork in one of the teachers pigeonhole then grabbed me by the wrist in order to get me out so I could see and hear no more. To say that I was confused would be a lie – fair enough I didn't know the exact reason _why_ she was sending me out in such a rush, but I knew that it was because of this big 'secret' everyone is keeping from me. This 'secret' had something to do with Riku. It's as though he's purposely keeping me in the dark to figure things out for myself.

She dragged me into the abandoned hallway and then decided to straighten herself out as though nothing happened. She gave me a sheepish smile before smoothening out some more of the kinks in her pink dress, then motioning with her head for me to follow her down the hallway. I did immediately and soon found myself walking side by side with her. "Aerith, what was-"

I didn't get to finish asking my question before she spoke, barely looking at me with her bright green eyes remaining focused on the walk ahead of us. "What exactly did you hear in there Sora?" There was nothing but pure curiosity in her voice, no anger, no annoyance, just complete interest as to what my answer would be.

"Nothing really, just… there was a lot of shouting."

"Oh," she replied a little shocked, though it didn't sound as convincing as it should have done. "And what was being shouted?" she inquired a little bit after, maintaining that same light voice and not bothering to look at me once.

I gave her curious eyes, even though she couldn't tell, and shrugged. "Something about it being unfair and just wanting a break I think. I didn't get to hear that much, I arrived about a second before you did." I answered truthfully. By the time I had finished my sentence, we had arrived outside of her office, and she finally turned to look at me. It would appear that she was pleased with my answer as she relaxed a little and finally gave me a genuine smile.

"Okay," she sighed happily then turned into her office. "This is going to be the one and only time I do this – but I'm going to write a note to your teacher explaining why you were absent from your lesson. Who's your teacher and what lesson is it?" She asked as she walked over to her desk and pulled out her necessary equipment.

I stared at her shocked. Aerith never did anything like this for anyone when they weren't actually ill. She took her job very seriously and didn't think it was appropriate to lie to either the teachers or their parents about the students. So why was I an exception? My relationship with Aerith was the same as my one with Lulu. Though, Aerith only moved to Destiny Islands seven years ago, she befriended Leon perfectly back then and therefore had an instant place in our family. After all, it wasn't very common that Leon actually liked people who were well… sociable, but how could anyone _not_ like Aerith?

"English with Mr. Smith." I answered a second later, not wanting her to change her mind about the note. I in took a deep breath hoping that it would give the courage that I needed to ask her a question. "Erm Aerith." I started a little nervous, if her immediate reaction was to physically move me out of the room so that I couldn't hear what was being said, then, I don't know what the outcome would be once I brought it up again.

"Mhmm" She replied distractedly.

"What was going on back there with Riku and Professor Ansem?" I asked gingerly. I noticed that the pen in her hand stopped moving for a second as she thought of what to say to me.

"To tell you the truth Sora, I really don't know." Her tone seemed genuine and there was nothing in her voice that hinted that she was lying to me. But there was some part of me that refused to believe it. I know she knows something and is not telling me. I can just feel it clawing away at me and it's beginning to make me desperate for answers. Aerith then walked over to me and placed a warm hand on my shoulder all the while giving me a reassuring smile as always. "You get to your lesson now okay. I'm going to see you later on tonight to see how your doing."

I looked at her a little lost. "What do you mean by tonight?"

"You'll see." Her smile turned a little devious as she placed the note in my hand then ushered me out of the door. Resisting the urge to keep mounting questions upon the poor woman, I took her advice and went onto the lesson I really couldn't be asked to go to, with high fears that I'm going to get more than a lecture from Selphie for not turning up on time. This lesson couldn't have come at a worst time really. First I intake some sort of spontaneous air which caused me to think that I could _stroll_ to lesson, then eavesdrop in yet _another_ conversation involving Riku, _then_ get Aerith to lie for me so that I don't get in trouble. Well the latter was really out of her own free will, but I could have shown at least some sort of backbone and told her that I'd deal with Mr. Smith myself.

Twenty minutes had past since I arrived to the lesson and I _still _find myself apologizing to the brunette for not being there when I was supposed to be. Selphie's childish behavior but 'adulty' words made it all the more harder for me to explain. It goes without saying that in English, I was a little more talkative and sociable with her, but not obscenely so. It was all a rouse of course, I didn't want to speak and be sociable; I just wanted to suffocate myself in my own thoughts and hope that some answers would offer themselves as a lifeline.

Too bad that Selphie's in this class then huh.

"I'm not asking you to buy her flowers and a brand new puppy or anything. I just want you to promise that you'll make the effort to talk to her – _all_ of us, for that matter, at lunch." Her green eyes glinted with hope and pleas as Selphie stared at me, impatiently waiting for my answer.

"Selphie," I started softly, I knew how much all of us getting along meant to the brunette, but still… this was the one conversation that seemed unavoidable and one that I couldn't sugarcoat. "You know what Kairi's like when she's like this. It's best if I just leave her and talk to her tomorrow or something."

Selphie groaned, irritated. "You won't be able to speak to her tomorrow remember? Her dad went zany on her about sneaking out _and_ the party. He's taken everything away from her: her phone, her laptop, her computer. Everything and anything that would enable her from having contact with the outside world," Selphie explained. It makes sense though, Kairi's dad loves her to bits and can't stand it when she does something that near enough every teenager does. He treats her like a princess, and she fully accepts and embraces that privilege. "I think he wouldn't even allow her to have a pen, paper and stamp." I laughed out loud. Now that _was undeniably_ Kairi's dad all over. Selphie laughed too, but then the seriousness was back. "But, do you see what I mean? There isn't enough time to kiss and make up." She added sadly.

I knew that this was one of her smart tactics to get me to do what she wanted. I've seen this act being played so many times on her teachers, family, sometimes even her friends. The only thing about Selphie is that she can _always_ get away with it. Her adorable big green eyes and cute little face would be a mission itself to say 'no' to. That was why I found myself reluctantly nodding to her wishes.

Kairi needs time to cool off. I know this, Selphie knows this and I think anyone who has encountered one of the rare arguments you get with the auburn haired teen knew this. But right now, there wasn't time. Tidus and Wakka would be leaving the week after next, and Selphie would be leaving for France the week after they leave. We all found out that she was leaving for France with the school when she announced it last night at Scarlets. We were a little more than stunned and Kairi was nearly in tears when she found out that her only source of femininity in the group was departing the world completely for a week.

This explains why we need to start talking as soon as possible. Despite the truth that in a matter of weeks, it'll be only us two for the majority of the summer vacation, but we don't want everyone's last memories of school, especially Wakka's, regretful ones. That would be something neither of us would allow. We haven't even thought about if we think that Wakka leaving us for good would change our relationships dramatically – not with him, but with each other. All of us have become so used to being with each other as a group, that we've forgotten what it was like to be around each other without… each other. If that makes any sense?

Basically, what I'm trying to say is that we've all formed individual bonds with one another that it would be impossible to think about what life would be like without each other. With Riku it was different, we had no clue that he was going to just walk out on us like that, but seeing as we _know_ and have time to prepare for Wakka's departure, everything seems almost unreal. I still can't get over the fact that he'll be gone. I mean, sure he'll keep in contact and everything, but things just won't be the same.

"I want to hear you say it out loud Sora Leonhart." Selphie ordered with a strict yet playful as always tone.

I moaned in deep regret of giving into her demands. "Do I have to?" I complained, and made my face look tired so that she would drop it. But this is Selphie we're talking about. She gave me one sharp nod with cutting eyes to match. "If you love me you wouldn't make me say it." I tried with an equally false happy voice to contradict my obscured face.

"Sora." She warned as she leaned her elbow on the table and pointed her finger, up and down, directly in my face.

"Alright, alright. Jeesh. I promise I will make an effort to talk to Kairi." I murmured sarcastically in the little cave I made on the face of the table with my arms and hands.

"Because?" She added cheerfully, a little too cheerfully, expecting me to continue.

A loud sigh, then, "Because I don't want to find out the outcome of one of Selphie's mastermind ideas that she's been cooking up for such an occasion." I replied gloomily, reciting what the brunette had had us memorize for years. To be honest, I wasn't doing it just for Selphie; it was Tidus, Wakka, and basically all of us. I'm sick and tired of us being all unhappy because of something I've said or done. So from now on that's going to change, these next few weeks have to be nothing but happy.

Starting from now.

**:: ::**

The lesson ended with half the people already left the class to catch themselves an early lunch. I wanted to talk to Zexion in this lesson, but Selphie remained stuck to me like gum on the bottom of my shoe, and he wasn't even in lesson. That didn't surprise me though; he was probably in the library or something evenly… _Zexion _- like. It still bothered me that Riku would rather speak to Zexion but me, but at least he was speaking to _someone_ and that someone I_ knew_ who seemed trustworthy.

We walked straight into the cafeteria with Wakka sitting at our regular table and the other two amiss. "Hey Wakka," I greeted with a smile as I took a seat next to him. Selphie had disappeared somewhere to go and get a couple of drinks.

By the look on his face, he was still uncertain about how I was feeling, and still looked a little guilty about what had happened earlier. I don't blame Wakka, nor am I angry at him. I will admit that before I was just a tiny bit, but whatever pathetic grudge I thought about holding had completely vanished with the conversation I had with Selphie. It was also nice to know that this time she didn't actually force me into anything, but made me think deeply about the decision I would have made. Sometimes I wonder what it would be like if we didn't have Selphie in our lives.

He finished swallowing his gulp of a baguette then began to scratch the back of his head. "Hey Sora, Look ya, I'm sorry about earlier. The memory just started pouring out and I didn't want to upset you if you knew who it was. So I thought that maybe-"

I could tell that he was going to start rambling on so I quickly held my hands up dismissively to cut him off from saying anymore. "-Wakka, Wakka it's okay, honestly. I know what you were trying to do and I understand." I said genuinely, but he still looked at me with light disbelief on his face.

"You're not mad?" He asked incredulously.

I made a thoughtful face then shook my head proudly. "You did nothing wrong, no one did. It was just all one big… debated discussion" I explained as nicely as I could.

"What about Kairi? I think it goes without saying that she wasn't in the best of moods at break."

I sighed. "Yeah, well, I'll talk to Kairi later in private in detention." I still can't get over how coincidental it was that she lied to them about having a detention with Vexen, but _I_ end up getting one anyways. It still puzzled me actually _why_ she said that, but I guess from Tidus' response that it was to benefit them and put their worries at rest.

"That's the spirit champ." Tidus called from behind me then clasped a hand over my shoulder. "At least I know that I'm gunna have a peaceful lunch huh?" The blond seated himself on the seat to the other side of me and held his hands out to catch a soda that came in his direction. Then it was Wakka's turn to catch his, then I caught mine, and I think it's safe to say that I caught mine with a little less grace than the other two.

"Yeah, I'm sorry about earlier." I apologized, and thanked Selphie with a nod of my head as she sat opposite us in front of her boyfriend.

"No problemo." He smiled and opened his drink. "So, has anyone seen Kairi yet? She's not usually this late."

"Nope, but I'm sure she'll turn up. She's got… err…" Selphie paused as she tried to think about what lesson the other female had. "Either double math or Spanish."

"Do you memorize everyone's timetable or something?" Tidus asked, "Because you always know what lessons I have and when. Are you a spy?" He inquired playfully, leaning in a bit closer to her face with a devious smile.

"I just might be, is there a problem with that?" she, too, leaned in and matched his smile.

"No." He answered. "Actually, I think its rath-" He didn't get to finish his sentence as his lips were captured by Selphie's in one first short peck. Then the second one came but it was longer than a peck. A little too long for me to say 'aww', but long enough for me to look away embarrassed.

Wakka, obviously _trying_ to keep his food in his stomach, didn't like the little make-out fest that was taking place right in front of him and cleared his throat loudly. The two stopped trying to eat each others faces off and looked at Wakka. Annoyed green and blue irises bore into disinterested hazel, which rolled and promptly ignored the stares. Once he finished his final mouthful of the baguette, he explained. "Mouths at lunch time are for eating with and socializing. Not tonsil hockey okay?"

"Loser," Tidus murmured against Selphie's lips, which sent her in a fit of giggles, and me too. Wakka merely smiled then rose from his seat to place his rubbish in the bin. "Hey Sora?" I looked up at Tidus and when he didn't say something immediately, I looked in the direction that he was. "Didn't your brother used to go out with her?"

It was true. A couple of tables to the left of me were Roxas sitting with Naminé: his old girlfriend. They sat opposite each other with their fingers interlacing each others on the table and smiles on their faces. Naminé and Roxas had been going out since eighth grade, and then broke up in January last year. When that had happened it came as a shock to nearly the entire school because they genuinely seemed like they were in love and that it was going to last. But for some reason it never did to me. I knew that Naminé was no good for Roxas, and that was proven the day she told Roxas she was dating someone else in Twilight Town who was more involved in art.

They broke up once January came around and so far as I have noticed they hadn't spoken to each other since. Was he really that lonely enough to go back to her? It's not that I hate Naminé or anything, because she is a nice girl and everything, but how could anyone do that to my brother? They never fooled me into believing that they were the perfect couple that they made out to be, so that's probably why I knew she would do something like what she did. But even so, wouldn't telling the truth be better?

The blond giggled at something Roxas said, then wiped her eyes. I couldn't help but watch in awe at seeing the two like that. Where the hell was Hayner? And Olette and Pence? If what happened this morning hadn't happened, then I would've stormed over there and demanded to know what he was doing and what was going on. But as it is, I still have to wait and clear the air with him. I understand how he feels and why… but the problem is _he_ doesn't understand why I have to do what I have to do.

I don't even know why it is I feel like I should try and get Riku back. It just feels right. Everything feels right when he's around me, even if it's not a good moment, or it's just complete silence – it feels just like it should. I can't tell Roxas this though, it seems too corny and he wouldn't understand. He doesn't know what it feels like to have someone you've grown up with just walk on out of your life as if that special bond never existed. He just – doesn't understand. And what saddens me even more is that no one does. No one knows what I'm going through, therefore they can't help me, because in order to help me, they have to understand, and the only person who understands is Riku.

The two then got up from their seat and began to walk out of the exit with their hands tied together. My eyes followed them every step of the way in bewilderment. Are the two going out with each other again? I'll be damned if they do, they don't belong with each other. Roxas is more suited for someone who is bound to get on his nerves and generally be the complete opposite to him; Someone who isn't afraid to tell him when he's wrong, and disagree with him when he's right, someone who isn't afraid to take charge and be in control every now and then. Someone like… Axel.

My thoughts, about my brother's personal relationships, would have continued in my head if I hadn't seen Wakka over by the trash cans, being approached to by non other than the big old bully himself: Seifer. Only this time, Seifer wasn't with his usual lackeys, Fuu and Rai, and had a grim expression on his face instead of his smug overused one. I tapped impatiently on Tidus' shoulder and upper arm, my eyes never leaving the scene once, and then nodded off in the direction of the two older males.

"What the-?" Tidus mumbled unbelievingly, his eyes widening too. None of us harbored any likeable feelings for the ice-blond, so to see him talking with no expression on his face to one of our best friends made us thirsty to know what the hell they were talking about. They didn't look like they were arguing, or fighting, so what was it?

Soon after, Wakka's expression fell completely, and he was running over back towards us and grabbed his backpack, and papers that he had left on the table. Tidus tensed up quickly and made an attempt to stand up. Selphie looked startled as the orange haired male started cramming things into his backpack furiously and eagerly. "Wakka? Are you… okay?" She asked uncertainly. Of course he wasn't okay, and we knew this, but whatever it was that made Wakka go all panicky, stroke an unknowing sense of fear through all of our veins.

He didn't answer, and instead continued to cram in whatever he could. This made us a little anxious. We've never seen him act like this before, so whatever it was, was something bad enough to not make him explain to us. "Wakka, would you slow down?" Tidus cried impatiently, though, it was obvious that there was fear for his best friend. "What's going on?"

Wakka paused and looked up at Selphie, the sight made her gasp lightly, causing me and Tidus to look up at him to with equal expressions. His eyes were glazed with the water of the tears and they filled up to the brim, threatening to fall over. He sniffed them back but made no attempt to hide them, then forced a fake tight smile on his face so that we didn't worry.

But we did.

"Nothings wrong." He lied, even his voice was wavering as he said this, but he tried to maintain his pain to himself. "I've just got- I'll be back later. I… It's…I gotta go ya." Without wasting another second, he hurried off away from us and out of the cafeteria. He didn't even make it outside the cafeteria before Tidus was right behind him and catching up. Once Selphie and I saw the two leave, we sat in a very uncomfortable silence with our own worrying thoughts about what happened to keep us company.

That was definitely weird though. Why would Seifer of all people talk so normally to Wakka? Not that I heard their conversation or anything, but it's just, there was no tension like there usually is when Seifer is involved and but whatever it was it had him in tears. I'm sure Tidus would tell us what's wrong with him later. He's the only one who didn't get in trouble with the rest of them about sneaking out to Scarlets, but the only problem is that the girls have lost their privilege of interacting with anyone until their punishment is over. Furthermore, I don't know what Leon is going to make Roxas and I do this entire weekend. So the chances of me finding out until Monday were high.

I looked up to see Selphie's usually vibrant eyes release a tear down each cheek as she exhaled shakily and closed her eyes. Too many people have been crying lately, but pushing these thoughts away, I immediately scraped the chair behind me as I went to her side and wrapped my arms around her tiny form. I tried to soothe her by whispering "shh" oh so lightly in her ear. I didn't need to tell her that 'it would be okay', or that 'the boys would be fine', because I didn't know the situation or if it would be fair and true enough to say that to her.

By now we already had a couple of people staring at us, even the lunch ladies, and as per usual, I couldn't care less. "Selphie, don't worry about it. I'm sure Tidus or Wakka would give us the information soon okay. Just try not to panic." I said in some sort of way to be comforting. I needed to let her know that I would be there for her right now because usually it would be Kairi, but who knew where she was?

"I've never seen him like that before." She said lowly – completely different from her high pitched playful voice. "What if it's something really bad? What if he's in trouble? We need to follow them and find them. Maybe they're still in the school grounds. We could-"

"-Selphie, he'll be fine. He's with Tidus so no matter what happens he has someone with him. Whatever it is, he'll tell us when he's ready. Wakka didn't want to tell us now, so we'll just give him time. Okay?"

She buried her head in the crook of my neck and sighed miserably, reluctantly agreeing to what I just said. "You're right." She sniffed, then got a tissue from out of her purse and wiped her cute little nose. "Lets go outside and get some fresh air. We'll probably bump into Kairi on the way." She said hopefully, that tone of optimism present in her sad voice.

Part of me wanted to scoff and say 'yeah right', but I knew how bad she would take it and how rude it would seem. Even though I knew it was true. We walked out of the cafeteria in silence with quite a few people coming up to Selphie to see if she was okay. She would give them that award winning smile of hers then be on her way with me in tact. If I had known _why_ she wanted to go outside, I wouldn't have let her.

Not only was it like a billion degrees out here, but she was on a hunt: A hunt to find Seifer. If you looked hard enough, you could see the determination in the brunette's eyes and in her walk. It was nearly impossible for me to keep up, but her hand clamped onto mine wouldn't allow me to leave her side under any circumstances. Patience was one thing that she lacked in and it drove me up the wall whenever she wanted something but couldn't attain it because it meant that I would have to pay the consequences. She dragged me over to the field, which was out of bounds due to litter, and noticed Rai and Fuu sitting at the far ends of the forbidden field, talking to each other. Their rebellious nature obviously telling them that they don't have follow the school rules took form in Selphie as she stormed over to the two without a second thought, and me right beside her (Not that I had a choice). The two friends looked up at us with their hands shielding their eyes from the sun that was in their way.

Fuu, the female with short silver hair that came up to the lobe of her ear, and piercing red eyes that looked like they wished instant death upon you, raised her hand and pointed a sharp finger directly at me. "Thief." She stated impassively, making me stumble over my own two feet backwards in surprise.

"W-What?"

"You like so totally stole her history partner ya know?" Rai explained along with his infamous catch phrase. Why someone hasn't decked him yet for how annoyingly repetitive it is, I do not know. They both stood up in front of Selphie and I in unison.

I rolled my eyes to the silverette. "I didn't _steal_ your partner. He _asked_ me." I told her truthfully. Not that I was expecting a change, but her face remained unchanging from that stoic one she wears all day.

Selphie groaned out her sound of disapproval from this conversation (if you could call it that). "Boo-hoo. So you don't have a partner. Get over it!" She cried, with her hands balled up into fists. "Where's your master? We need to have a word." She said boldly. Confrontation was one of her strong points, as was getting straight to the point.

Rai smirked. "And why would you like to know?" His broad arms folded so that this hand was on his hips as he peered down to the brunette in a patronizing manner. Causing her to glower even more and replaced any sign that she was upset. The look on her face declared war as the two stared at each other for a long amount of time.

Fuu remained with her eyes focused on me the whole time instead of the glaring competition that the other two had going on. Making me feel a little too uneasy and made my eyes shift between the two. Selphie wasn't violent but if you made any attempt to antagonize her, she will take it without a second thought. And I would consider Rai's actions as antagonizing. He was belittling her because of her height and was obviously underestimating her capabilities to abuse her god-like power.

"Just tell me where he is, and we'll leave you guys alone." She said venomously, her face not faulting once as she, too, propped her hands onto her hips and maintained that fiery hate in her eyes. Rai didn't answer, his chocolate eyes kept firmly on Selphie whilst his infuriating smirk stayed in place. "I'm waiting." Her calm voice contradicted whatever feelings she had cooped up inside. I could tell that she wanted to punch him right then and there – but Selphie always did have a lot more class then some.

"Kairi," Fuu interrupted her voice evenly calm also. Finally she looked at Selphie as the brunette returned the stare.

"Huh?" I said out loud, waiting for an explanation as to why she said her name of all names.

Rai chuckled. "That's right. Go ask your little red-haired friend where Seifer is, I'm sure she has your answers ya know."

Selphie ran her critical eyes over the two of them for a good few seconds before turning around back to the way we came. I, on the other hand, stood dead in my tracks, staring at the smug and emotionless faces ahead of me. I stared at Fuu particularly, meeting her cold eyes then said "I didn't steal your partner, he chose me." Those words were more of a comfort to _me_ than a statement to _her. _Giving Rai one last look over as well, I walked away back into the direction Selphie set.

**:: ::**

I can officially say that this has been one of the worst days of my life.

We couldn't find Kairi anywhere after our little encounter with Rai and Fuu. Wakka and Tidus didn't turn up back after school and I had to deal with a paranoid Selphie all lunch. What's more is that school finished forty minutes ago and I'm alone in a classroom with none other that the Devil incarnate himself: Vexen Rime. I sat on the last row of chairs straight at the back, as far away from him as possible. He, on the other hand, was collecting rubbish that people had so hurriedly left behind in a vain attempt to keep his classroom clean. The icy blond walked past my table more than once and tried to gain some sort of eye sight with me, but I kept on reflecting my gaze onto more… interesting things – like the ceiling.

I noticed that he placed his crap in the trash can then began to wipe at his board. Teachers nowadays use laptops with overhead projectors to present their lesson to the class. However, Mr. Rime still lives in the sixties and writes everything down on the board. I bet he's one of those people who believe the internet is wrong or that the government is always listening. It wouldn't surprise me in the least if he was by the way he kept on looking at me then turning back around.

It still didn't make sense at the exact reason why he wanted me to stay behind. I mean, fair enough he's a nutcase, but the man _hates_ me so why would he want to keep me back? When I think about the time when he gave me the detention, I still feel bad about eavesdropping on in Riku's and Zexion's conversation. I know it was wrong and that I shouldn't have done it, but how else was I supposed to find out what going on with him? He's bottling everything to himself and only allowing certain few people to know. Am I really not that important to him anymore? Have the years we've lost degraded whatever bond we once had? I still see him as one of my best friends, despite the years that we've lost between us. My relationship with Riku, in my mind, is reminiscent of one where your best friend has gone away for a while and has finally returned. Sure things are a little awkward right now, but does that doesn't mean that we can't rebuild what we once had right?

"Now, Mr. Leonhart you do understand why I asked you to come back here right?" I looked up to see Vexen still rubbing away at his whiteboard. Scrubber in hand and back turned away from me as he tried to get the last bits of chalk away from the board.

"Because I was eavesdropping," I answered moodily, still not entirely happy with his reason. "Because you hate me," I murmured quietly to myself with high hopes that he didn't hear me.

He chucked to himself then turned to face me with a smile so creepy that it gave me chills. "No. That was just a lure of a way to get you here." I raised an eyebrow in consternation. A…lure? Why would he want to keep me behind on a Friday after school? It made no sense. I tensed instantly, looking around for an escape, obviously fearing the worst. He chuckled again, that sudden frightening chuckle that made me want to run as hard and as fast as I could. "Don't worry it's nothing bad and it shouldn't take to long." The icy blond placed some items into his top draw then sat down at his desk, smiling all the while. "Actually I was hoping you and I would… chat if you will."

My face was far from nervous and went straight to bewildered. "A chat sir?" He bowed his head once as a nod. "About what?"

"About what you heard in Mr. Dusk's and Mr. Schemer's" He answered boldly, the creepy smile and look turned a little darker as he said that. I blushed; embarrassed that he would bring that up again. His bony fingers enlaced themselves in each other as he placed his rounded chin on top of it. "It is to my understanding that you and Mr. Dusk used to be good friends correct?" I nodded whilst thinking previously about déjà vu. This felt awfully familiar to the conversation I had earlier with Auron and if it was going to be, I would be determined, this time, to get answers. "Are you still close with him now?"

The question would have put me off like it had earlier with Auron, but now I have concluded that they were all after the same response. Why is Riku one of _their _main priorities? Of all the teachers in the world Vexen, and to a lesser extent, Auron. The guy hasn't even met him before. What is it that they are after?

Instead of trying to answer these questions myself, I found myself nodding at my science teacher. "Yes sir."

"That would explain a couple of things." I heard him murmur to himself after he gave a satisfactory nod. "And what about Miss. Rime and Zexion? How close is he to them?"

"Pretty close, we've both known Lulu since we were little, and Zexion's been helping Riku get through some problems."

"Oh?" He said interestingly. "Do you know what these _problems_ are?"

"It's private." I stated defiantly. I knew that he was trying to get into my head and see if I was lying or not and I would _never_ give him the satisfactory.

He leered over his desk, green eyes filled with intense interest. "As private as it may be, _you_ still felt that you had the need to eavesdrop?" He asked me smugly, though still maintaining that curiosity in his tone. I glared mildly at the change in this man, but this is Vexen we're talking about, so this was expected. "Tell me Mr. Leonhart, what is it about you that makes him want to protect you so?"

My face dropped, any sign of anger was completely washed away and replaced with shock. What was he talking about? "What are you talking about?" I voiced my thoughts and realized in my mind that it was kind of an insult, but couldn't care at the moment to be offended. "Protect me from what?" I asked with wide eyes and mouth agape. My science teacher merely grinned closed mouthed and stood from his desk then sauntered over to the door, where he simply opened the door and gestured with his hand what he wanted me to do.

"I think that's enough of detention for one day. Wouldn't you agree?" I didn't answer and instead grabbed my backpack, stomped across the room and demanded. "What do you mean by protect me?" I didn't shout or cry anything in his face. As frustrated as I was that I was completely in the dark about what he was talking about, this was still his classroom and he was still a teacher.

"It's not my place to say. Maybe you should ask you '_close_ friend'." And with that, he shut the door on my face and went back to doing whatever it is that _that man_ does; leaving me alone with my thoughts and queries about the very person I shouldn't be thinking about: Riku.

**:: ::**

By the time I reached home, I walked past everybody who was in the living room and went straight to my room, too busy with my thoughts to socialize. I couldn't care as to what type of punishment Leon had cooked up this time after Rox and I were late home last night. And that's saying something. It's just that too many things have happened in the past couple of hours that I don't think my brain can take any more drama.

I was halfway between taking my top over my head when I heard a shy knock on my door. I didn't feel like talking to anyone right now, especially if it was Roxas so I removed my school shirt from my body before calling out "I'm going to bed, I don't feel well." And fell backwards on my bed with a huge sigh.

Whoever it was blatantly ignored me as they walked into my room without a second thought. I turned my head to the side to see who the intruder was. Mentally groaning when I realized that it was Leon, I buried myself under the covers and threw a pillow over my head so that he knew that I did not want to talk. "Sora," He called to me softly. There was something hinting in his voice that made me stop and release the pillow from my spikes.

I looked into Leon's eyes. His usually stormy grey irises seemed disturbed and I knew then that there was something wrong. He held the house phone close to his chest and looked at me with his eyes wavering. I sat up instantly, and looked up at my brother. When he didn't speak, I took the initiative to probe him into telling me what's wrong. "Leon what's happened?" There was a silence. His mouth kept on opening and closing as he tried to prepare himself of what to say to me. The knots were forming hard in my stomach with every second that he didn't speak. Anxiety built up faster in me that anything I have ever known. Not once have I seen Leon so… worried – well not in long time – so you can imagine how I was feeling. "Leon, talk to me." I said once the silence had gotten too much.

"The hospital called." Oh no. "There's been an accident."


	11. It's Your Life

**Hopelessly I'll Love You Endlessly**

**Disclaimer: **Oh how I wish the game was mine,

For then I would have all the time,

To give my opinion and my say,

That most of the characters should be GAY!

One's like Sora and Riku and Zexion and Demyx,

Why oh why so cruel **Square Enix**?

**AN:** I thought I'd give you guys a poem I made on the spot lol. So, since I have like all the time in the world [I couldn't care less about coursework] how about two chapters for the price of one? The only problem is I'm sick. I'm sick that there has hardly been any Sora and Riku interaction in like forever in this godforsaken story! So I plan on changing that in the next chapter. As you can probably imagine, I still have no internet, so updates will be slow for a while. Unless I lose my pride and ask my friends to do it for me. *sighs* decisions decisions! XD

**Chapter Eleven**

**It's Your Life**

Double plain white doors flew open as I jogged part way down the corridors and noticed a distressed Wakka sitting patiently in the waiting room, with a cold cup of coffee in one hand while his knees bounced up and down in anticipation. Tidus sat next to him with his arm wrapped securely around his shoulder. They were both still in their school uniforms and only Tidus noticed me once I stormed into the room. Wakka remained with his eyes focused intently on the wall ahead of him. I walked over to them both with a matching grim expression to their own.

"How is she doing?" I asked lowly, I noticed Wakka squeeze his eyes shut firmly before bowing his head right down then clasped his hands over his neck.

Tidus spoke for him. "We don't know. They wouldn't tell us anything unless we were immediate family or something. They wouldn't even tell Aerith anything." Tidus' voice was void of that regular cheerfulness and cockiness that we were so used to.

"Where's Aerith now?"

"I think she's on the phone to Tifa." He replied. Tifa is Lulu's twin sister. We meet her nearly every winter, just before Christmas, but the last I heard she owned some club or something in Hollow Bastion. The two sisters seem kind of close, so it wouldn't surprise me if she was to travel all the way down here just to be with Lulu. After all, Leon did when all Rox and I did was remain in a house by ourselves for a couple of days. "Did you walk all this way?"

I shook my head. "I caught a taxi as soon as I heard." The hospital was a forty-five minute car ride from my house, and as much as I do love Lu, I couldn't bear walking. "Leon's got to sort something out at the house but he'll be back here later with Cloud."

Wakka finally looked up and wiped his face before looking skywards, then up at me. His eyes were red and puffy, but it was clear that the tears stopped long ago. He sent me a small smile before saying "Your brother and his friend really helped us out. So in case I forget, you'll give them my thanks, ya?" Wakka's voice, too, seemed very different from what I'm used to. With a nod of my head, I sat down on one of the seats opposite him and waited along with my two best friends. "Was Selphie mad when we took off?"

"No, she was worried and… well… you can imagine what she's like when she worries about you guys," I explained. "But she's also worried about Kairi, she didn't come to lunch and we didn't see her for the rest of the day."

Tidus looked confused. "Didn't you see her in detention with Vex after school?"

Crap. I had two choices, I could either: tell the truth and answer some more of their annoying questions _or_ I could lie… and still have to answer more of their questions. Either way, the conversation wouldn't be dropped. "I… the truth is there was no detention. Well… kind of, _I_ still had a detention, but only because _that man_ hates me. But Kairi didn't, I don't know why she told you guys that, but I guess that by seeing the looks on your faces, I understand why."

When Kairi told them that it we both got a detention because I couldn't stop talking, all their faces perked up a little. I decided that it was the _least_ I could do was tell the truth and allow them to draw their own conclusions. "Did she now?" Wakka smiled timidly and so did Tidus. I was confused as to _why_ they were smiling, but I decided that it was something I could run with. "We're just a little worried about you Sora, you don't…. seem like you anymore. I guess Kairi was trying to assure us that things were getting better ya?"

I nodded. I never knew that they felt _this_ strongly about it. I didn't even know that this was how I was making them feel. I've been so wrapped up in my thoughts about Riku that I've been neglecting my friends and have become oblivious to how they feel. "Sorry guys." I apologized then bowed my head a little.

"Don't worry about it. Besides, we can't talk about it now; we've got to be here for Lulu." Wakka stated. "We tried getting in contact with both Kairi and Selph, but their parents are seriously going hard on them for sneaking out. But they said that they'll come and see her tomorrow, first thing in the morning but for only an hour. I'm surprised that you were able to come out."

"I think it's because Leon knows how much Lu means to me and _him_ for that matter. After all, they did kind of grow up together right?" Wakka nodded faintly then rose to stretch his arms and legs whilst yawning loudly. "How long have you guys been here?" I asked and didn't miss the way Tidus wiped his eyes profoundly as though he was trying to show no sign that he was tired.

"Since lunch," The blond answered "My mom didn't even care when the school called to say that I left the school building. Can you believe that? My own mother!" He cried incredulously. "At least I get away with it though." He shrugged then, too, began to stretch his legs and arms. "Big guy here won't leave until he finds out some news, and I'm not leaving until he does." He pointed his thumb at Wakka which immediately got playfully batted away.

"In fact, would you mind staying around mine tonight? I don't want to come back into the hospital in the morning on my own."

"As if I could say no." Tidus smiled then shook the eldest males shoulder a little. "No matter what, I'm here for you man, and don't you forget it." He commanded lightly. Wakka smiled as did I.

"I just wish someone would come out and tell me what's wrong already. It's been hours and no one's said a thing about her." Wakka said irritated as his fingers weaved through his hair which looked like the umpteenth time since he's been here.

"Don't you guys even know how it happened?" I questioned.

They shook their heads. "Not a thing." Wakka said sullenly. "All they told me was that Lu was involved in a car accident and that something is preventing her from waking up fully. They just don't know what, so they're running some tests."

"Was anyone else hurt in the accident?"

Wakka shook his head again and a new wave of relief washed over me as there was no one else hurt in the making. "It was off the side of Midnight Close where Scarlets is." He explained. "She crashed into one of the traffic light poles on the sidewalk. And if it wasn't for your brother's friend and that Reno guy, then I probably wouldn't have found out until the same time you did." He told me. "You're brother collected me, Tidus and Aerith from the school and we've been here ever since."

As I took in what Wakka said, I couldn't help but get a little confused. "I don't understand what Seifer has to do with this though. How could he have found out before all of you guys?"

Tidus looked at Wakka also, wondering the same question.

The orange haired teen sighed, realizing that it was time to come clean about the bully. "Okay, did you guys know that Seifer has an older brother? He's about the same age as Lu." He asked us and when we shook our heads as a 'no' he continued. "His name is Seiner and he joined the Military force in Bevelle with Chappu when we both started at Destiny High. Well Seifer, Riku and I used to hang about in school together, but it only lasted about two weeks because Seifer, as you can imagine, started being a total jackass to us. But, Seifer and I always keep in contact with each other about our brothers and stuff. Nothing interesting or anything, but just info and updates. Our conversations don't even last more than thirty seconds…"

Tidus and I nodded along with Wakka's explanation. We all knew how much Chappu meant to him, to all of us really, and we understood why he had to talk to Seifer. I've always hated the blond ever since we started high school because he had a tendency to pick on Roxas and his friends without a care in the world. He still does now actually, but Rox is a big boy who can _definitely_ defend himself with his witty tongue and 'I-won't-take-your-crap' attitude.

"…But he got a call today, saying that there had been an unexpected attack on their camp site, where they were, and that my Chappu is now in the infirmary. That's when I needed to get out of school, so when I saw your brother outside with his car telling us that we needed to get to the hospital, I thought he was taking me to see Chappu. Of course now I realize how stupid that must have been because Chappu is all the way in Bevelle, so…" He paused as he began to look skywards to fight off the tears he knew were coming.

"Have you heard any news about him since? You've been checking your phone like crazy." Tidus asked after a few moments passed, bringing him back from whatever thoughts he was drowning in. Wakka shook his head then began to wipe at his eyes. "I'm sure he'll be fine as well." He smiled warmly at his best friend to reassure him.

"Thanks, both of you, I don't know what I'd do if you guys weren't here." I got up so and sat next to Wakka so that he was in between Tidus and me and rested a hand on his shoulder for reassurance. I don't even want to imagine what's currently going through Wakka's mind right now. It's bad enough that he's lost his parents, but now Lu and Chappu are critically injured, so he must be going through hell.

We all turned our attention to the doors, which I had walked though previously, with high hopes that it was a doctor coming to tell us about Lu's condition. We were, however, only _half_ disappointed when we saw Leon and some nurse walk through the doors. It wasn't the fact that the nurse had her arm enlaced with my brothers that got our attention, but the conversation that they were having.

"Well the doctors are currently looking into getting the medication that she needs, but until she regains consciousness, the doctors can't confirm anything" She said to Leon as she fluttered her eyelashes and released his arm.

"So this means that she doesn't have to go into surgery or anything… drastic right?" He asked, obviously not interested in her attempts to flirt with him. Tidus and I stared at Leon with curious eyes while hope filled Wakka's. Why is she giving Leon more information about Lu than Wakka? Surely she should know that Wakka has a stronger relationship to Lu than Leon.

"Well, I'm only a nurse and that would be something that the doctors will explain to you. But what I can confirm is that the crash didn't affect her too much as opposed to her illness, so I doubt surgery is on the list." She smiled warmly at Leon after licking her pink lip glossed lips. Her blond messy hair went just below her earlobe and she was a _very_ leggy girl. As a matter of fact, she didn't really look like a nurse. Her uniform was _way_ to short and she had enough make up on her to paint a country. Bored grey stared into flirtatious honey colored eyes as the 'nurse' began to rub his arm soothingly, although, I don't think comfort was on her mind.

"Thank you nurse…"

"You can call me Candy."

"Candy?"

"Well my real name is LeBlanc, but I only let special people call me Candy. It seems more fitting for me don't you think?" She winked then began to look at him curiously. All the three of us watched (in horror in my opinion). "Before I get that paperwork, I need you to clarify that you are Lulu's brother, you won't believe the amount of times guys lie to me and get away with it." She said jokingly like a love-struck teenage girl. "Besides, you don't look like her much."

Leon waved a flippant hand about. "Our dad had a load of affairs, long story." He lied dismissively. "So, how about that paperwork?" He forced a small smile onto his face to get the girl away from her.

Her smile broadened at the sight of his then she turned on her heel (literally her high heel) and sang "Don't go anywhere until I come back." Then left the room and caused my brother to sigh loudly.

"Thank _God_ she's gone." He said to the closing doors, he didn't even check to make sure she was out of earshot before he said that. He then turned to Wakka, Tidus and I with an irritated face. Once he saw the amused interested faces all three of us wore he decided to come clean. "She's been following me ever since I stepped forward in the hospital. She even insisted on walking me here." He shivered slightly as he took a seat opposite Tidus.

"I thought she was hilarious." Clouds stoic voice entered the room as he walked through the doors with one hot drink in each hand. The spiky blond was followed by Aerith who, too, carried a drink in each hand. Aerith's eyes were red and puffy as though she had been crying a long time ago. "We weren't sure whether you guys liked caffeine or not so we just got hot chocolate instead." He handed one to Tidus and the other to Wakka, then Aerith handed one to me and a coffee for herself.

We all murmured our thanks as the two took their seats opposite us, next to Leon, and began to drink our chocolate beverage. "Are you telling me that you guys were standing outside that room all that time and didn't bother to rescue me from her?" Leon asked dully.

Cloud smirked then leaned over to whisper something in Leon's ear. For the first time ever – well in a long time at least – I saw Leon blush. And it wasn't one of those 'I'm-mildly-embarrassed' blushes, it was a full on red as crimson blood blushes.

"Oh, it looks like a full house in here." Candy's high pitched voice reappeared in the small waiting room. She stood at the doors with papers held firmly to her chest. Her eyes immediately found my brother and although he didn't show it, I could tell that he wanted to choke someone right now. Her high heels clanked the pristine floor as she walked over to my brother and handed him the papers.

"Erm… Thank you," he said uninterested and immediately focused on the writing on the sheets. "So all I have to do is fill this in about Lulu and then give it to…"

"Well, you could either give it to the lady at reception, or I could come back later and-"

"Reception will be fine thanks." He cut in immediately, purposely stopping her from saying anymore. We all tried so hard not to laugh at my brother's obvious attempts to get the young girl away from him. Even Cloud showed a slight bit of emotion on his face. "Do you have a pen?" He asked, not once looking up at her eyeliner framed honey eyes.

"No, but I'll go get one right away for you." She smiled but before she could reach the door, his voice stopped her dead in her tracks. "And could you possibly get me a cup of coffee? Black. No sugar."

"Sure thing, love." She smiled, although he didn't see it, and left the room once more.

"I'm doing this in the car." He stated plainly as he rose from his seat and looked at Wakka. "To put it short, they're looking into finding out what's wrong with Lulu. As far as the doctors are concerned, the crash only committed minor injuries but they fear that it's got something to do with why she's been ill that it happened in the first place. She's breathing and everything, but they're running some tests to figure out why she keeps on losing consciousness. Apparently she can't last longer than forty seconds before she's out like a light."

"But she's going to be okay then, ya? Like it wouldn't be anything too serious right?"

Leon walked over to Wakka and rested a hand on his shoulder. Cold grey eyes remained determined solely on Wakka's hazel. "Lulu's a fighter. You, more than anyone should know this." He patted his shoulder reassuringly, and then set off out the room. I didn't miss the way he cautiously examined the room ahead of him before he shut the doors and left us to ponder what was going on in that nurses head. Couldn't she tell that he wasn't interested? I have to admit, I want the best for my brothers and everything, but I _never_ want to see someone flirting or hitting on them. It's just one of those things that make you feel highly uncomfortable.

"I have your pen and coffee love!" She called happily as she reentered the room a couple minutes later.

"He went to the bathroom." Cloud lied to her uninterestedly. "I'll look after his coffee for him though,"

"Oh," she said disappointed and gave Cloud the cup of coffee. "Did he take the papers with him?" She asked, mildly disgusted but optimism present in her voice.

"He didn't trust it with us." Aerith lied too, "He's very protective over his sister and wants everything to be perfect for you to read."

Her left leg folded backwards as she clasped her hands together over her heart and looked to the ceiling with love struck eyes. "Does he? That's so _sweet_." LeBlanc, or _Candy_, said the last word so high I nearly brought my hands to my ears. "Leony Weony really does care for me! I'm going to wait outside the bathroom for him okay. See you later loves."

We all, aside Cloud, shared our giggles as we sympathized my brother's new problem with his obsessive nurse. If the constantly following him around didn't bug him, then this 'Leony Weony' nickname would surely peeve him to no end. "At least I know that Lu's going to be okay." Wakka murmured to himself, a small smile tugging the corners of his lips.

"Of course she is. You heard what Leon said: she's a fighter." Tidus joined, and I nodded along with what they said.

"Especially if she's anything like her sister," Cloud added. I was surprised to hear him speak actually. Though Cloud is polite and seems like a nice guy, this feels like the longest amount of time I've heard him talk. He even had the power to make Leon _blush_. Not even Rinoa could do that, no matter how hard she tried, and to mine and Roxas' dismay, she tried a _lot_.

"You know Tifa?"

"I live with her. I've known her since we were eight when she first came to Hollow Bastion."

"Eight huh? Tifa used to live in Besaid with Lulu and Chappu. Apparently they all grew up together. I was too young to remember all of that. But when they were around about eight, their parents split up so Lu came over to here with her mom, and Tifa went with her dad over to Hollow Bastion. Because of our parents, Chappu and I came over to Destiny Islands when he was ten and I was six. We got fostered by these people but once Chappu was old enough he decided that he would take full custody of me and I guess we just went on from there. Lu and Chappu started going out since they were… sixteen I think, and when Lu's mom decided to go back to Besaid she stayed with me and Chappu." He reminisced absentmindedly. We all stared at him with interest, we all knew this story and it was nice to stop worrying about her and just remembering what it's like with her.

Lulu's always been there for all of us. The fact that she's only three years older than us makes it easier for us to get along with and talk to. There are some things I can talk to Lu about that I can't to my dad or Leon. It's kind of funny when I think about it. I trust Lulu more than my dad when it comes down to revealing certain things. Originally, we met her through Leon, though we got to know her better through Wakka. It's just…. to think that something would happen to her. I've known her the majority of my life, and to think that she can be removed from it just so easily makes me feel… makes me feel like history is repeating itself.

But I can't think about Riku right now. Lulu needs my undivided attention.

**:: ::**

It wasn't until a further half hour until Leon decided that then he could face the haunting music and return back to the hospital. Before that it was just under an hour until Lulu's doctor, Dr. Cole, came into the private waiting room and was about to explain to us the news on Lulu fully. He seemed like a nice guy with tired brown eyes and old grey hair. He wasn't allowed to talk to us about the situation unless Leon was present so we made Aerith haul him out of his brand new car (he brought it earlier today, he told to me when I was about to leave for the hospital) and demand him in. Luckily though, he didn't bring that love struck nurse, she was probably still outside the men's bathroom no doubt.

Dr. Cole straightened his white coat out and as he regarded us with a short stare then began to speak. "I'm pleased to say that Miss. Rune has regained consciousness and we were able to diagnose her to see what caused her accident." We all knew that then would have been a perfect time to sigh in relief, but the fact that there is still something wrong with her prevented us from doing so. We all watched with wide anticipating eyes as the doctor continued. "Now I need to know and check a few things," He pulled out his clipboard from underneath his arms then started asking questions. "Who here lives with Lulu?"

Wakka timidly raised his hand. "That would be me sir. Wakka Guard." He answered immediately.

The doctor nodded then wrote it down. "And how long has Miss. Rune been feeling unwell?"

"I don't know… about four or five days I think, but it didn't get bad until a couple of days ago."

"And during this time, have you noticed any change in color, temperature or cadence in her?" He didn't look up from his clipboard as he awaited his answer.

"Cadence?"

"For example: one minute she would speed up then the next she'll be really slow and need rest?"

"I… I think so. Erm." Wakka looked in deep thought. "Well lately she's been getting really hot and stuff and sometimes she'll be red, like _really _red then it'll go back down. She kept on claiming that one minute she was hot, and then literally the next she'll be cold. As for tempo, there was one time when she wanted to go to work, but I literally had to force her back into bed to get some rest, then the next thing I know she's sleeping like a baby. But we just ruled it off as a really bad fever." Wakka explained as well as he could.

Dr. Cole murmured, "that's understandable," before finishing his writing then giving us all a small smile. "Thank you, I'll be back a little later with results." Then his expression faltered a little. "I must apologize but Miss. Rune will not be able to leave the hospital for a couple of days. Due to the information you have given me I'm positive that Miss. Rune has got a disease called Berserkulosis **[1]**. We all gasped. Wakka nearly bolted upright from his chair, but Tidus' cool hand kept him in place. Leon didn't move or change and I noticed Aerith lightly take hold of Cloud's hand on the armrest next to her.

"What's Berserkulosis?" Leon conveniently asked him. Though, you could hear the slight faint bit of worry in his voice.

Dr. Cole waved his hands apologetically in the air. "Sorry, I didn't mean to alarm you. Berserkulosis is a disease, yes, but it's not contagious and it's very rare. _But_ highly treatable and there wont be any side effects." We all breathed a breath we withheld until he had told us some good news. Six pairs of eyes stared expectantly at the doctor and awaited him to continue. "I'll spare you all the medical details and give you the basic rundown. Berserkulosis could be related to stress and in certain bodies, there is so much stress you can take before your body starts to act upon it and will begin to make you sick. Sooner or later it'll make you go through various stages and you'll feel like you can't stop. After a couple of days of getting Berserkulosis, or BK, you'll lose consciousness and you'll lose it fast…"

We all nodded as he gave his explanation.

"…That's the breaking point. Now, seeing as Miss. Rune was in a car accident also, there are minor injuries given to her physical state but there was thankfully no internal bleeding. Miss. Rune won't be able to wake for another couple of hours then we're going to dose her on the medication needed. No surgery will be necessary, but she will have to stay in the hospital for at least another four days." He concluded, but wasn't satisfied by the blank looks we gave him. "Are there any questions?" He asked uncertainly.

""When can I see her?" It sounded like a plea more than a question.

"Two of the other doctors are sorting out her new room so once they are finished; you'll be free to see her. Just ask at reception for Nurse. Goon then she'll take you to see her. Though I do advise that you don't stay there long, though she will be unconscious, too much disturbance in the room will cause her to want to break out of that state, and we need her like that so that we can ensure her a safe full recovery."

Wakka nodded and decided to leave the conversation as that. Dr. Cole looked at us all again to see if we had any questions, and when we didn't come forth with any, he bowed slightly then excused himself from the room. "At least we know that she's going to be okay." I commented after the silence was too much. I then turned my face towards Wakka's bowed head. "Have you heard any news about Chappu yet?"

"What's happened to Chappu?" Leon asked, grey eyes looking between Wakka and I as we just stared.

Chappu and Leon were good friends since they were young as well, but when Chappu said that he was going to join the military force in Bevelle all those years ago, Leon wasn't happy. War was something he could never grasp the context of so he didn't support any army of any sort. But because Chappu was one of his best friends, he supported him instead. He hasn't heard from him in a while, but I know that the two are still pretty close after all these years.

Wakka looked at Leon apologetically. Tired hazel met curious grey and you could see the uneasiness in Leon's eyes. "There was an explosion in one of Bevelle's temples." Wakka answered grimly. "Chappu was guarding it and now he's in the infirmary. I'm waiting for Seifer to give me an update now, but so far there's been nothing."

My brother rose from his seat and raised a comforting hand onto Wakka's shoulder. "Don't worry, I'll go and find something out. Besides, your phone won't work in here." He looked at Leon perplexed. "Your connection is low because they made it like that for mobiles. They mess with the machinery or something." Leon turned around to look at Cloud and I noticed that he noticed where Aerith's hand was. "I'll only be an hour or so." He said to the two with his unemotional stoic voice, though, I could tell that something in him changed at the sight.

"I'm going with you," Aerith announced. "Cloud said that he promised someone he'll be somewhere so he'll need ride as well. Wakka, I want you to call me if anything happens alright?"

Wakka nodded. "The same goes to you Sora, if _anything_ happens, you call me." Leon ordered then turned on his heel along with the other two.

"This world just keeps on getting smaller and smaller." Tidus commented distractedly as he looked patiently at the door. "Should we go over to reception now? At least we'll be there ready right?" Wakka and I nodded then headed out of the private waiting area (courtesy of Leon) and into the main corridors.

There were people receiving either good or bad news from doctors whilst they waited patiently with their cold coffees in hand. The pristine white walls were enough to make me feel like I was in a mental hospital. There was just an ongoing cycle of chaos in the hallways, people were throwing up, doctors and nurses were discussing important matters while the phone was ringing freely throughout this sick place.

Needless to say I _don't_ like hospitals.

The receptionist was a sweet looking girl with brown eyes and brown hair. She knew who we were, thanks to Dr. Cole, and gave us a slip of paper on it documenting where Lulu was. She was too busy on the phone and dealing with a patient to the left to her to take us there. We managed to find our way to Lulu's room in a matter of minutes, but once we reached the door, Wakka froze. "What's up?" I asked lowly. His large hand was stuck onto the handle of the door as if glue was keeping it together.

"I… don't know if I can see her like that. It'll just be too…I don't know if I can do it." He admitted then hung his head low, though, his hand didn't move from the handle. Tidus gave him a comforting pat and shake on the shoulder. Wakka sighed then looked over his shoulder to see Tidus and me smiling our reassuring smiles at him. "Thanks guys. You are coming in right?"

"Of course." We said in unison then walked into the room. Dr. Cole was already standing adjacent her bed and monitoring her progress.

"Ah, so I see you have arrived." He greeted then began to walk over to us so that he can get to the door. "I apologize for the lack of time, but someone will be coming in here in a short amount of time to escort you out of the room so that Lulu can begin to fully recover. If you do not feel like going home, there are available seats outside, but there is not more I can do. I'll be checking every hour or so on Lulu's condition as well as the nurses to do their minutely rounds. I'm sorry that I can not do more for you."

During his little speech, Wakka walked over to the bed that Lulu was lying unconsciously on and stared at her solemnly. To be polite, Tidus and I stayed where we were and listened to what the doctor had to say. "Thanks." We both said to him and allowed him to be on his way.

We walked over to Wakka and noticed a couple of tears gather in his eyes as he looked at Lulu's fragile body. She was paler than usual and there were a couple of cuts on her neck whereas there were big purple bruises on her head. Wakka moved part of her black fringe so that he could get a better look at her. It looked as though she was in a peaceful sleep and that she wasn't in any pain at all. "When she wakes up, she won't be happy that they wiped of her make-up." Wakka joked lightly, whispering almost.

Tidus and I chuckled. "She can rob some from that 'Candy' nurse. I'm sure she had enough to spare." We chuckled lightly again at Tidus' response. "He was right: 'Lulu is a fighter'."

"Yeah," I agreed. "Do you think she can hear us?"

"I like to think so," Wakka answered. "It's not as though she's in a coma or anything, so I guess we'll be able to talk to her tomorrow right?"

We nodded, and then turned our attention to the opening door at the other side of the room. Just like Dr. Cole said, a nurse came through the door timidly searching for us three to escort us out of the room. We did so without a word and sat ourselves in the busy corridors where the doctor said we could wait.

**:: ::**

It had gone past ten o clock, and I was the only one remaining in the hospital. By eight o clock, Wakka started dozing off, as did Tidus, so I ordered the two to go home. The coach at school makes them train extra hard on Fridays, so that they don't slack off much on the weekends. Leon never came back, nor did Cloud or Aerith and he was my ride home. I don't think I would have wanted to leave Lulu anyways, I'm not even tired, and I want to be here incase something happens. Hopefully nothing drastic though. As you can imagine, Wakka was reluctant to leave, but I managed to persuade him and promised to call him if Leon came back with any news about Chappu.

Nurses kept on walking in and out of Lulu's room, as did Dr. Cole, and every time they exited, I would always bombard them with questions about her condition. Apparently she's doing fine and is healing quite well and I'll be able to go back in there for longer soon. So until then, I'll just wait and allow my thoughts to be my company. Now that I knew Lulu was going to be okay, I couldn't help but strangely think of Roxas most of the time.

The argument we had earlier today really affected me. True enough he my brother could be a bit too forward with things, but his heart was in a good place and all I could do was shut him out. He didn't even try to speak to me at all today and when I saw him with Naminé, it just made me wonder what's going on in his mind. He swore he would never speak to her again, and now the sudden talking and holding hands… are they back together? They better not be. I would rather my brother went out with someone like Axel instead of Naminé. Even though he and Axel aren't going out, and probably never will, Roxas seems… happier with someone like Axel. Someone who will argue with him and annoy him constantly just to get a reaction out of my twin seems like the perfect person for him.

The same goes for Leon and Cloud. I wonder what their relationship is like. You could tell a couple of years ago that Rinoa wasn't right for Leon, as sweet as she was, the girl seemed _too_ different for him. There was no connection or buzz that you can see spark between people who like each other. But with Cloud, given the short amount of time I've known him, Leon seems more like how he used to be before he moved out all those years ago.

I looked down at the hallway when I thought I heard my older brother's familiar voice. When I realized that it wasn't, I noticed the vending machine full of my chocolaty dreams that were just screaming for me to eat. I patted my pockets to make sure that I still had my change, left over from the taxi, and walked all the way down there to fulfill my starving needs. I don't know how long I was going to be in the hospital for, so I got myself a Coke, two Snicker Bars and a packet of Skittles. Hopefully that'll be enough to keep me at bay until Leon gets here.

_If_ Leon gets here.

Sighing and shaking my head, I headed back to my original lonely seat. I was about to sit down, but I noticed one of the nurses from earlier come out of the room. "Can I go in and see her now?" I asked a little bit too eager. But I was getting lonely and conscious or not, Lulu is the only one here for me right now.

The nurse seemed a little startled and uneasy. "Oh, well yes, but I just let another guy through. He claimed he knew her."

"Did he give a name?" I asked, it could probably have been Leon

"Erm, no, but I told him what happened to Miss. Rune and he seemed… distraught. He asked for you as well…Sora right?"

I nodded confused. "Me?" It could have been Roxas. Apparently he didn't come home from school, so maybe Leon told him or something. She nodded and smiled warmly. "Thanks, how long have I got until I've got to be out of there?"

"Just like I told that other young man, you have only ten minutes, and then she must not be disturbed. You'll be able to see her longer tomorrow, when she's awake." Before I could ask another question, the nurse was already making her way over to the next room to check on another patient. Once, she was out of sight, I got this weird feeling in the pit of my stomach. The type of feeling you get when you know you're going to have an uncomfortable argument. There is no doubt within my mind that my brother will still try his damned hardest to make me see 'sense', whatever that is.

All I know is that this is not going to be a pleasant encounter. If only Roxas could understand what it is I'm actually going through. Then maybe things would be a little simpler, and I would know that I have my brother's full support in whatever choices I decide to make with Riku. I ran a hand through my unruly spikes, preparing myself for the conversation to come. I gripped the cold handle hard then opened the door and allowed my self through. The lights were off in the room and I wondered why my brother had done that, it was impossible to see a thing.

With a flick of my finger, I switched the lights on and allowed me to see the two occupants in the room. I was, however, shocked to see who was leaning over Lulu and watching her with nothing but concern. But then again, I wasn't shocked as much as I thought I would be.

"What are you doing here Riku?" My tone was annoyed, irritated even, and I have no idea why. It's just… seeing him here with Lulu when I haven't heard from him at all for the past few hours made me slightly angry. His hair was shaggy and messy (something he never allowed to happen) and he looked like crap basically.

But even that feeling of irritation dispersed the minute he looked me dead in the eyes with his tear-stricken face and shrugged. Suddenly, without thinking, I leaped forward and wrapped my arms around him. I knew why he was crying and as soon as he felt my touch, he clung onto me for dear life and sobbed silently in my shoulder. My shaky arms immediately started soothing his back, and I knew then that this was going to be another long night with Riku.

Just like the day when he found out his parents died. After all, that is the reason why he is the way he is now.

I just hope that this time he'll allow me to comfort him.

**:: ::**

**[1] **I made it up. I'm absolutely no good at medical stuff which is quite ironic really because my mum is a nurse and expects me to become one. Ha! As if! Anyways, I got the idea from FFX because on my one, Lulu **always** gets Berserk in that bloody Omega Castle! All I want to do is catch some fiends! Is that so wrong?

**AN: **From now on, I refuse there to be no Riku in any chapters. He's too scarce in them and I want that to change now! XD He's just being too stubborn for his own good XD. So, I think the next chapter I'll make it all about him. I don't know: tell me what you think XD.

Also, I just wanted to make a point about Lulu and Wakka. Those of you who haven't played FFX-2 but FFX, I wont spoil you. But for those of you who have, I know how their relationship turns out and it just doesn't settle right with me. Don't ask me why because I wouldn't be able to give you a coherent answer. Oh and I know that Lulu is younger than Wakka, but because of her maturity and age in FFX, she just had to be older. I'm using the young Wakka from KH instead.

Okay thanks again all my lovely readers.


	12. Live And Let Live

**Hopelessly I'll Love You Endlessly**

**Disclaimer: **If the game was mine, it would be no where near the masterpiece that it is today. Square-Enix gets all the credit it deserves for it.

**AN:** I leave for Disneyland in a couple of days with my friends, so I know I won't have any time to write =( So I hope that these three chapters in a row would be enough to satisfy you guys: My lovely readers. Thanks for all the reviews, subscriptions and alerts. Unfortunately I still have no internet, but I will continue writing and swallow my pride in allowing my friends to post them for me. Or if all else fails, go to an internet café. It's only, I was reading some rather _naughty_ one shots when I last went, and I swear this guy who worked there was like reading them on his screen, because he kept on looking at me then his screen again. Scariest. Time. Of. My Life! *looks over shoulder to make sure no ones reading* Anyways on with the story:

**Chapter Twelve**

**Live and Let Live**

There were no noises.

No cries.

No words.

Only tears.

Silent tears, just like the one's he shed last night.

He must be feeling like… I can't even imagine – No – I don't want to imagine what it is he's going through. Embracing him is the only way I know how to comfort him right now. Riku clung closely, slacking against me almost, as if he had given up on everything. After all that happened four years ago, and now all the secrets he must be so… tired. Tired of fighting something he can't control. Like death. Even though it wasn't until a couple of weeks after his parents passed that Riku stopped hanging around with us, I could tell he was hurting inside. He just wasn't himself anymore. It seemed as though there was a piece of him that was broken.

Just like now.

How I wish I could fix it.

All that could be heard in the cold room was his and my heavy breathing, and the beeping from the machine that was monitoring Lulu. I never knew how much Lulu meant towards Riku until now. They were talking about her earlier, him and Zexion at lunch, and even Riku admitted that they're still close. I just went on believing that once he left us all, he left behind _everyone_ and lost connection with us all. But it seems a lot clearer now _why_ he chose history with Lu: so that they can still keep in contact. Some part of me should feel jealous about that, but I don't. If anything, it reassures me that he _has_ got someone looking out for him like he said when we were at his house the day after the party.

The room was cold because the doctors had to try and get Lulu's temperature back to a normal level. Underneath my arms I felt Riku shiver as he sighed, but not once did we break contact. All he wore was that damned thin white school shirt which revealed his pale muscles that were sick with grief, he must be freezing. Physically Riku doesn't really feel much, you could chuck him in the middle of Antarctica with nothing but a coat and some jeans and he'd probably feel nothing. Mentally, he can show the same non-caring exterior, but there would be a wide depth of emotions swarming inside of him and nothing would show on his porcelain face.

But his eyes… his eyes lie. That's the only way I can think to put it. When we were younger, I could always tell when he was upset and refused to tell me. He'd try and put on a brave face and make up some lame excuse, all the while sounding so convincing… but those startling teal, always revealed a different story. I'd never pry though, he always knew I knew then he would come clean in the end. I just wish it could be like when we were younger again.

What turned out to be five minutes, but really felt like thirty seconds, ran by so quickly that I jumped slightly at the intrusion of the nurse coming in to get us out of the room. Riku, on the other hand, didn't budge any when she came through and decided to stay where he was. He positioned himself so that his chin to neck covered my shoulder blade, so I lifted my head a little to get to his ear.

"Riku, we have to leave the room." I whispered to him.

"I don't want to move." He murmured sadly against my neck, making me shake a little.

"I know," I sympathized; even _I_ didn't want to move. "But we have to leave the room. Otherwise Lu won't get better." He waited for another couple of seconds until my words daunted upon him and reluctantly pulled away. I didn't even get the chance to look him in his eyes before he made a hasty exit for the door. The nurse moved swiftly out of the way as he walked past her, and I had to practically jog to catch him up. "Sorry about him." I told the nurse and didn't wait another second before I chased him down the hallways. "Hey Riku…" I cried lowly, we were still in a hospital so I didn't want to be too loud. "Would you wait up?"

But he didn't. He just walked on and left the building entirely. It was weird watching him go from sad and vulnerable to angry and curt. Then again, this _is _Riku we're talking about. I followed him out of the hospital but once I was out all I could see was the nearly empty car park. He was no where in sight. I knew for a fact that he couldn't have gotten far so there was no giving up on finding him, even if I have to search this long and lonely car park by myself.

Who knows what kind of state he could be in right now? The way I see it, Lulu is the closest thing he's got to friend from the past. So to have a car accident happen to her must be very crucial for him to acknowledge. Even if Lu is going to be okay, experiencing something like this once is enough. He shouldn't have to go through it again. No one should for that matter.

My cerulean eyes scanned the nearly abandoned area as I tried to find a hint of silver. My hands cupped the area around my mouth as I continued to shout. "Riku I know you haven't left so you might as well come out." My sneakers rubbed steadily against the rough surface of the road as I sought out my best friend. My eyes didn't remain on anything for more than three seconds, how had he gotten so far so quick? "Riku," I called to basically no one. The car park was as empty as my stomach and as bare as my legs (I put on some shorts before I left the hospital).

It was then that I was just about to give up and go back inside, until I heard a set of metal clanging lightly against each other behind me. Slowly turning around, I saw Riku sitting on the edge of a curb with his head hung low while his legs were folded up to his chest. His school shirt and hair flapped lightly with the wind, and I noticed that with one of the hands, that were wrapped around his legs, were a set of keys swinging idly on his finger.

The he sniggered sadly. "You never were good at hide and go seek ya know." He joked solemnly, not bothering to look up.

"Riku, we should go back inside, Lulu would be happy to know that you stayed for her." I tried as a way to lure him into getting back inside. I walked over and sat down between him and the front of the silver Highwind car he was seated by. Then a frown made its way onto my face as Riku shook his head.

"I can't… I can't go back in there."

"Why not-?"

"Because I just can't okay!" He answered impatiently. "I thought I could face it but I can't. It's my fault she's in there Sora." He murmured unhappily. Seeing Riku like this and hearing him say what he just said was like experiencing déjà vu again. This was nearly exactly the same as the night when his parents died.

"Why do you think it was your fault?" I asked softly. It didn't make sense. Riku didn't cause the accident, because that's what it was – an accident.

"Because," He groaned out loud then abruptly stood up to look down at me. "Because it's my fault she's stressed and got Berserkulosis. If it wasn't for me… Lulu wouldn't be in there and _you_ wouldn't have to spend the night in the hospital." I didn't move or argue back, despite my brain telling me to do something; all I could do is sit there and allow him to continue. "I'm such a screw up. Everything I do is wrong Sora, do you understand that?" The frustration was building up and revealing itself to me through his voice. His hands were balled up into fists as his eyes were cold yet filled with such sad emotion. "So there's no point trying to reason with me because I'm going home alone. So I can be there alone. It's how I've always been…alone."

That pale face I love to look at went from angry to shocked in a matter of seconds as he realized what he just said to me. For some reason, I couldn't help but feel a fresh new wave of triumph wash over me. _Finally_ I've seen some proper emotion from him. With last night aside, when we were talking about his parents, I could tell that the aggravation had been building up in him and now it's finally released itself out. It feels as though I'm getting closer and closer to my goal of having Riku back in my life for good.

Hands went to protect his face from view as he shook his head after a couple of moments of silence. I hope that it was finally settling in to him that he didn't have to be alone and that I'll always be there to help him.

Unfortunately, hopes are just hopes.

"Everyone I love gets hurt because of me." He mumbled more to him than me I think. "I'm not going back in there. Lulu is-"

"Fine," I interrupted and finished for him, which only caused him to shake his head harder. I had had enough of his self loathing attitude. It's not the Riku I remember and it's not the one I want to see – ever. The Riku I knew was cocky, overconfident and generally a pain in my ass because he lived up to all those titles. Which is exactly the reason why he was my best friend: he was as good for me as I believe I was for him. What has happened to him to make him be like this, and what's more, how am I going to fix it?

"She'll be fine once I'm out of everyone's lives for good."

That's it, I've had enough. I forced myself off from my seat on the curb and forced Riku's stubborn hands off his face. In return, I was met with a pair of pained teal eyes which blended in adequately with shock and bewilderment. "What is wrong with you Riku? Don't say stuff like that. _I_ wouldn't be happy if you were out of my life." Again. Resolve overtook all of my facial expression as I was determined to get him to understand. Not once did he flinch away or look in the other direction. He stared me dead in the eyes with a blank expression. "Lulu loves you and would never blame you for anything that has happened to her. It was all an accident."

"You don't understand." He whispered softly into the open air. Not once did he try and struggle out of my light grip that was still on his hands. Instead he turned his face towards the floor.

I gave his hand a tight squeeze before releasing them and allowing them to flop uncaringly back by his sides. "Then make me understand." I said just as softly. Then he did something I never thought he would.

He looked up at me and… smiled.

It wasn't a big toothy grinned smile. Or one that would make me suspect anything suspicious. It was just a small tug of the corner of his lips smile. I would have expected people with cameras and a cheesy guy with a cheesy smile and a microphone to jump out at me and tell me I've been pranked. Until Riku started speaking that is. "You know," he started "You haven't changed one bit. Still the same old Sora: always looking at the best in people."

The change in behavior caught me off guard completely. I looked at him mildly confused, the expression clear on my face as he chuckled softly to himself. "Riku?"

He sighed then turned his back to me with his head hung low once more. "I know you want me to explain. But I just can't. I don't want to hurt you more than what I'm doing now."

"Then stay. We don't have to talk." It could be just like last night, when he stayed with me. We didn't talk after we reminisced, we just lay there and it was comforting. It was comforting to have him near me, and I hate having that feeling taken away from me. "We don't even have to stay here if you don't want." I raised a hand to his shoulder and I think that this is the first time he didn't tense at my touch. He sorta just… accepted it. "Please Riku."

My heart felt like it was about to split in two when I saw that he was walking away, but that quickly changed into back flips the second he stopped and asked "Walk with me?" There was a hint of hopefulness instead of his usual caliber that he maintains. "I want to show you something."

We didn't walk far and we didn't speak whatsoever. I didn't even know where we were, I just allowed my feet to follow Riku's willingly, side by side. Riku kept his gaze solely on the journey ahead of him, though I could see him glancing down at me in the corner of his eyes every now and then. This silence felt familiar to the other times I walked alone with him. Like the time when he walked me back to his place after the party, or the time when we made our way to our secret spot on the edge of the beach. It wasn't unnerving but it wasn't something I would choose either.

Riku seemed to know where we were going because after five minutes, or so, out of the car park from the hospital, we wound up in a small forest like area. The trees weren't all that tall, and the grass wasn't all that grassy. Probably because of the fact that we live on an Island and the sunny weather _always_ dominates the rainy a year. As a matter of fact, this place we were in wasn't all that far from the main road or the hospital. I never knew it existed but by judging by the way Riku still walked and knew what places to step in, told me that he had been here a lot.

Following him to wherever it was where we were going was definitely a task in itself. There was no pavement whatsoever but there was mud – a lot wet sludgy of mud. Large slabs of stones were available for us to walk on, but some sank under the pressure of my weight, alternatively staining my sneakers and pristine white socks. But as long as I'm with Riku, I couldn't care less.

Focusing on the floor underneath me instead of the direction in front of me caused me to bump into Riku's broad back. I looked up to see that he had not moved at all and was not deterred by me accidentally crashing into him. "We're here." He announced quietly, then hopped off a mild steep hill, no more than thirty inches high and stood before a land of… nothing.

All that remained of the trees were the stumps and there was no grass or sand on the floor. Just mud that looked like it had been abandoned long ago. It looked basically like a graveyard for the woods. Everything seemed to be missing their vibrancy… and it all looked, dare I say it, dead. I couldn't move; all I could do was watch my surroundings in awe. Riku, on the other hand, strolled absentmindedly to one of the tree stumps and sat down on one of them, a couple of yards away from me.

"Well, what do you think?" He didn't even have to raise his voice for it to reach me. The hollow area was quiet enough to project his voice and make it echo.

"What happened here?" I asked, ignoring his rhetorical question. I still couldn't help but look around in shock. Never have I seen anything natural destroyed this bad in Destiny Islands. "It's horrible."

The comment made Riku "humph", amused. "That's my family for you."

"Huh?" I asked perplexed. Following his actions from earlier, I hopped off the small bank and walked over slowly towards him. The ground wasn't slushy like the previous part. No, this was hard and I could feel it crumble underneath the rubber of my shoes. There was absolutely no indication that anything natural would grow here again. "What does your family have to do with this?"

"Hmph." He twiddled a crispy brown leaf between his fingers as I leaned against the edge of the tree, next to where he was sitting, and watched him with curious eyes. "After the accident happened all those years ago, they wanted to build a restaurant for remembrance of my parents. As you know, my mother and father both liked _fine_ food so they thought that it would be a good idea to have a family fine foods restaurant right near the hospital."

"Who did?"

"My cousins: Kadaj, Loz and Yazoo."

"Not Sephiroth?"

"Nope. Well, not at first at least, but they managed to persuade him somehow. I don't know how they did it, once Sephiroth has set his mind to something, it's impossible to get him to change. Trust me." It was true. Whenever Riku's older brother made a decision, it was final. So his cousins must have had a miracle or something. Especially when it comes down to the sensitive subject of his parents. It was clear to see that Sephiroth respected his parents, especially his mother, so the fact that they actually managed to get him to do something about them was astounding. In some ways he is just like Riku, and one of their similar traits is lack of conversation about 'touchy' subjects.

"Anyways," He continued. "They had the plans arranged and everything was set for it to be built right here." He scoffed some of the dirt with the tip of his shoe to prove his point. "But something about it never settled right with me. I mean, I loved my parents and everything… it's just… this place. Right by the hospital where I had to–" he stopped and looked around the area. "I told them not to build it, and it took a real lot of effort, but to my surprise they listened."

Not once did my eyes move from him once he was telling his story, and I could tell that he tried to get out what he was saying, but was too afraid to do so. "Had to what?" I prodded slightly, hoping that he would continue on what he trailed off. Maybe this could be the source of why he's been acting the way he has these past couple of days –_years_ even. When he continued to fiddle with the leaf and not speak, I nudged him slightly, playfully, to get him to go on. "Riku?" I called softly.

He sighed and dropped the leaf, watching it fall carelessly to the floor with the other dead surroundings. "It was supposed to teach me a lesson," he said. "So that I didn't become a victim of the same thing. I – I didn't want to see what I did, but he made me."

"Who made you do what?" I was getting very concerned. Now he was babbling. Riku doesn't babble, he either doesn't explain or tells you the truth straight out. This Riku was making me very anxious and very worried about what he had to do.

"Sephiroth." He said breathlessly. You could hear the pain in his voice as he said his brother's name. "That night when I ran off to your house, the same night my parents…" he sighed. "When I came back the morning after Sephiroth was furious that I ran off in the middle of the night. He said that 'anything could have happened to me' and all that crap. But I couldn't stay in there he just… didn't understand that."

"So what happened?" I asked. He stretched his arms backwards so that they reached the edge of the stump and slid backwards to make himself more comfortable. Riku then swiveled his hips and crossed his legs so that he was in a seated position. The stomp was large enough for me to repeat the same action so that we were seated face to face. But his eyes kept solely on his fingers in his lap.

"He wanted to show me the results of what 'stupid actions' could cause so the morning after, Seph forced me to go to the hospital and…"

"And what?"

"…Look at the bodies…"

My mouth flew open and my eyes widened tenfold. That is a disturbing thing for him to have to endure and I can't believe Sephiroth made him go through that. All to teach him a stupid lesson – it's sick. The thing that bothers me the most though was as he said this, he held no emotion to his voice. There was no sadness, no pain, I know for a fact that I would be breaking down if I had to go through with that then relive it just to get a story out.

_But_ for some reason, I think Riku actually wants to tell me this as opposed to me forcing him. He's allowing the words to flow easily from his mouth and he was answering my questions with ease. Something he hasn't done in a _long_ time. Still, what his brother made him do troubled me to no end. How could you do that to someone, what's more, your own little brother who, too, had just lost his parents? It's just not right.

"…It was all so much at once. I-I couldn't handle it. He knew I wanted to run and get the hell out of there, but he wouldn't let me go. He made me stand there and watch."

"I… I don't know what to say." I voiced my thoughts silently. "How could he make you do that?" I asked incredulously. It just pained me to know that Riku had to go through that and that I wasn't there for him.

"Do you remember that I told you that I threw up when I came to see you the night of the accident?" I nodded and for a second I didn't think he saw, because his head hung low, but then he started speaking again. "Well I could feel it building up inside again once I saw their bodies. It was horrible, I mean, their faces were scratched and marked. They had dark circles under their eyes. But it didn't look like they were in pain. That was one good thing I guess." He shook his head slightly as a way to get rid of the mental sight. "Well Sephiroth kept a firm hand on my shoulder while he whispered some things in my ear."

"What did he say to you?"

Riku shrugged. "Because I felt like I was about to throw up again, I forced it down, which did no good to me. The one thing I couldn't have was Sephiroth thinking that I was weak again. I began to feel light headed and the next thing I know, everything went white, and I was back in my bed at home." If my eyes were big then, they were size of two oceans once he said what he just did. I can't believe he fainted. I just can't comprehend in my mind how someone could make someone endure that.

It's disgusting.

That must explain why he never wanted the restaurant to be built here. Imagine having to go to a place day after day knowing that your parent's dead bodies were a couple of yards away from you _and_ you had to see them. "Haven't you talked to anybody about this?"

He shook his head as a 'no', those messy silver locks spreading themselves ever so lightly. "What would be the point?"

To be honest, I was getting a little sick of his uncaring attitude towards the whole thing. Not once did he waver or break down or give up during his story. Fair enough he's not the type to wear his heart on his sleeve, but even _this_ should spark up a bit of emotion. "What do you mean 'what would be the point'?'" I asked slightly irritated. "The point would be that you had someone to talk to about this. Be there for you so that you don't have to be alone." That simple move of his shoulders as a shrug was the last straw. Bringing one of my hands forward, I used my fingers to lift his chin and look at him head on.

Though, the sight made my heart ache so bad it felt like it was about to break.

Tear drops clung furiously to his lashes but refused to go any further. His pupils were tiny as they were overpowered by those aquamarine irises that spoke volumes. And although it was quite dark, and there was no source of light near us, there were mild rings around his eyes, and in his eyes was a bloodshot mess surrounding the irises. Riku's face was a like a battlefield with the way his natural beauty contradicted and tried to fight the effects off stress and no sleep. This was the first time this night that I've actually been able to get a good look at him and what I saw made my heart overwhelmed with agony. That beautiful porcelain face was void of anything – everything, and instead replaced with deep sorrow and misery.

"Riku…" I said softly as he looked at me head on. He didn't blink or move my hand or his face away, I took this as a sign that he was ready to listen. "How can you say this and not… go crazy? Cry? Show any emotion whatsoever?" For some strange reason it sounded like a plea, and I guess that it was a plea for him to open up to me properly.

"Because Sora," and here he caught my hand in one of his own, though, he showed no sign in moving it away. In fact, I think I could feel him lean into them a little and relaxed a bit more. "I grieved with this pain for the past four years. What's one more day?"

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "You shouldn't have to." I responded brokenheartedly.

Riku sighed, but it didn't sound like a sigh of annoyance or irritation. It was more of a sigh of understanding. "I know that this isn't what you wanted to hear Sora. I'm sorry that I dumped all of this on you now, especially with Lulu in the hospital and everything." He apologized sincerely.

I shook my head harder. "You've got nothing to apologize for." My eyes refused to open, I don't know if I could handle looking at him the way he was.

It wasn't until I heard him chuckle that I decided to reveal my blue eyes back to him. "I do," The shake of my head was ignored as he continued. "I'm hurting you and I don't know how to make it stop."

"You're not hurting me Riku." I told him firmly. "Not anymore." I whispered. His hand on mine began to pry it away from his face, gently, as he began to timidly interlock our fingers. My heart began to beat faster at the action then began to basically pound into my ribcage once he gave it a tight squeeze. The fact that he actually allowed his emotion of anxiety show as he did that was enough to make me feel as though I was doing back flips out of an airplane – Exhilarating.

His thumb ran slowly, absentmindedly, over my index finger as he watched our hands with a slight bit of joy. I think he was surprised to see that I would actually respond, but he wasn't as surprised as I was to see that he actually done it. I tried not to let it show that this was one of the things I've wanted from him for a long time (amongst other things). I doubt it means that much to him as it does to me though. It's probably more a comfort thing more than anything to him – but to me, this hand holding spoke volumes that nobody could ever reach.

"Thank you Sora." He said languidly, after a couple moments of awkward silence that I'm glad was broken. The contact between our fingers was lost as his hands returned to his lap.

"For what?"

He looked up at me with thankful eyes. "For the past four years, the thing that has been killing me the most was: knowing that you hated me. That pain tore me up inside so much, but I know now that you don't, and this is honestly the best I've felt in a while." He admitted.

The thought of making Riku finally feel better about himself lit me up like a matchstick and forced a goofy smile to my mouth. I couldn't help it, the thought made me all warm inside that I had finally gotten to Riku and made him hate himself a little less. Now if I only I can get him to not hate himself at all, things would be better than perfect. "I could never hate you Riku." I repeated his words to him what he said to me last night.

"It's getting dark." He observed as he looked around the lifeless area. "I should get you back."

"I don't want to go." I pouted like a little child. "Can't we just stay here and talk for a little while?" I can't believe I was asking for permission, but I didn't want him to just up and go like that. Again.

"Won't Leon be worried?"

I shrugged then a second later looked at him curiously. "How did you know Leon was here? Didn't you just arrive when I saw you in Lulu's room?"

He shook his head. "I heard about it fifth period so I came down here straight away." He answered simply. "Once I saw that Wakka, Tidus, your brother, his friend and Aerith were already at the hospital, I came here for a couple of hours until I could find out some information on her."

A couple of hours indeed… if he's only been able to see her when he did, then he must have been out here for at least six hours. "How did you find out last lesson? I didn't even know until I got home from my detention."

"I was in the principles office when the receptionist buzzed in and told him. Apparently she didn't know I was in the room. So when the Professor wouldn't let me out, I just walked." He smiled. "Much to his dismay," Now that _does_ sound like something Riku would do. In fact, I'm pretty sure he has done in the past and judging from what I saw earlier, he must have taken great pleasure in walking out of Principle Ansem's room. I still wanted to know why he was in the Professor's room, and maybe now could be my only chance to ask whilst he is in an answering questions mood. Too bad he got there before I did. "How was your detention with Mr. Rime?"

"How did you know it was with _that man_?" My eyes narrowed as I said his name darkly. I seriously hate _that man_ and that conversation we had earlier still freaked me out. I would ask Riku why all these teachers kept on asking _me_ about him, but I know he would find some sort of way of avoiding it. Besides, there was something about the way they were asking me, it was as though they didn't want Riku to know either.

Riku smiled warmly before scratching the back of his neck. "You can crouch down all you want, but those spikes will never be hidden properly."

I could feel the blood rushing and staining my cheeks furiously. "You knew I was there?" I cried incredulously. Damn this hair for being so spiky and noticeable. He nodded as a 'yes' which made me, if possible, blush even harder. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't think you – are – are you mad?" I stuttered. How could he be acting so calm about all of this? I was too embarrassed to look at him so I averted my eyes onto the twigs on the floor.

"I'm not mad." It sounded sincere and genuine, but even I couldn't trust it. I refused to look at him, the guilt swarming up inside of me. "So'" He called my old nickname softly as a way for me to look at him, but I wouldn't. I couldn't. "I'm not mad." Suddenly cold fingers softly touched the underside of my chin so that I was looking at him face to face. This one felt different from the last time though. He wasn't doing it out of pure determination, like I did, to get some sort of reaction. Our eyes met and lingered for a whole three seconds before he leant inwards towards my ear and whispered, "I promise."

Getting a promise from Riku is like getting a calling from God: Very rare and only goes to selected people. Never once have I doubted any promises that he made me, and as rare as they may be, he's _always_ kept to them for as long as I can remember. So why should this one be any different? He's still the same old Riku who has just had a lot to deal with over the past couple of years. A hell of a lot to deal with.

Without even thinking, for the second time today, I wrapped my arms around Riku and pulled him into a hug. This one wasn't desperate though, or one of those 'spur of the moment' things. I did it because it felt right – it felt necessary for the both of us. My arms wrapped around his shoulders slowly, he was already leaning forward so it was easy for me to do so. His face buried itself in the crook of my neck, before I felt his arms wrap around my midsection, loosely at first, but then it tightened.

His breath was thick on my neck as I noticed the change of his pace of breath. Mine too were becoming a little heavier, but I tried so damned hard not to rationalize anything that was going on. "I've missed you so much Sora," that whisper sparked a new sense of joy all over me.

It was quite hard to embrace Riku given our current positions, but there was no way I was breaking away from him. Not now. I smiled and gave him a firm squeeze. "You have no idea," I whispered back in his ear, framed by silver silk that still smelt undeniably like my secret crush.

**:: ::**

About an hour later we arrived back at the car park.

We purposely walked back here slowly so that we could cling onto each others presence for as long as possible. I knew that Riku would leave once he got me back to the hospital safely, so I wanted to savor all the time we had left together until we did so. When we were in the abandoned forest like area, we didn't let go of each other until five minutes before we had to leave. Riku insisted that he got me back before Leon started screwing at me again for being out at all hours. For the first time, we didn't walk in silence. It was just small talk about coming into the hospital tomorrow to come and see Lulu – but at least it was still conversation.

Once he walked me to the entrance to the hospital, I turned around and asked him. "How are you getting home?"

"The same way I got here." He replied slightly playfully. I gave him a look as if to say 'and that would be…?' but he just winked, smiled and ruffled my hair as a response. "You worry too much." My pout made him roll his eyes, but his small smile never disappeared. At least I could make him do that. All the sadness, grief and pain we shared over an hour ago were left behind in the woods, leaving him more... happier than before. "I'll be fine." He stated.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" I asked hopefully, but I couldn't keep the sadness from my voice as I knew that my time with Riku was up.

The smile on his face broadened but not obscenely so as he rested his hands on my shoulders. "Sure." The he pulled me into a small hug to say goodbye. At least he was becoming more like himself now in being the bold one. "Just not when you expect." He said softly in my ear. I pulled back to look at him questioningly, though, his hands never moved from around me, nor mine from him. He laughed softly before he stroked a couple of bangs away from my face and dipped his head forward.

I didn't even have time to think before he placed a chaste kiss to my cheek. Making it redden brightly along with the rest of my face. I looked skywards to see a smirk smiling back at me. "Goodbye Sora," he whispered his farewell then turned on his heel out of the hospital area and out of sight.

I, on the other hand, was too shocked to move or even comprehend what just happened.

Riku. Just. Kissed. Me!

Okay, despite the fact that it was a minor one on the cheek – it still happened. He never used to do that in the past when we were inseparable, and right now I don't know if I have ever been this happy before.

Does this mean that Riku likes me? Or am I thinking way too much about this? I mean, people do it all the time. Girls and boys do it as a way of thanks, on the cheek or on the lips, to their friends. Was that Riku's way of thanking me? Maybe it was. But then what was that whole hand holding thing back in the woods. Sure that only lasted a couple of minutes also, but it still happened. I know that people do this sort of thing _all_ the time, but Riku has never been one of those people. Not once did he show a liking to any girl (or boy) and he never seemed like the type to be so bold about his feelings like that to someone unless he really liked them.

Damn it. Why don't I know enough about this kind of stuff? I now know how Riku feels when he has no one to talk to. I can't talk to any of my brothers about this – Roxas hates his guts, Leon closes in on himself at the first mention of anything to do with love and sex and all of that. Gods knows where my dad is, and he doesn't seem like the type who would be interested in hearing my woes anyways. None of my friends would appreciate the conversation either – I mean, they don't even know that I have feelings for another _man_. And I know that deep down none of them have a problem with homosexuality, it's just… it's not a normal conversation you can just strike up out of nowhere with your friends.

"There you are," I turned around at the voice of my thought interrupter, then suddenly wish I never did. "You friend Leon has been looking all over for you." Nurse _Candy_ aka LeBlanc – I doubt even _that_ is her real name. I was going to correct her by saying that Leon is my brother, but I quickly remembered him telling her that he was Lulu's brother. She walked over to me with her paper fan in hand and her eyes were scanning the area. "He sent me on a wild goose chase for you, I've been everywhere. Isn't he out here? I'm sure I saw him go this way."

I scratched the back of my neck sheepishly. "Erm, yeah, he… said something about finding you in the next building over." I lied and pointed to the second part of the hospital.

"The maternity section?" she asked dumbfounded. I didn't like this girl at all, and I figured that if she saw Leon exit out of here, then he most likely did.

"Well he said that he had something to show you in there. Something you'll like."

Her eyes lit up dramatically. "Oh really? I wonder what it is." Her eyes looked skywards as she, I'm guessing, imagined what she though Leon would have for her.

It took all of my strength to not throw up right there on the spot. As soon as she walked back where she came from so that she could take a shortcut to the maternity section; a small black convertible drove from around from the corner of the building and pulled up right in front of me and stopped. "Your lying is getting better." Leon commented. "Quickly get in before she comes back."

I didn't waste another second before I hopped in the car, and sat next to my brother, ready for a nice silent drive home once we left the car park.

I just about managed to close my eyes and relax in my leather chair (what is it with Leon and leather?) so that I could be left with my thoughts again. Until: "So, how was Riku?" Leon asked me casually, grey eyes fixated on the road ahead of him. I could just tell that this was going to be the thorn in my relatively good night.

So much for a nice, silent drive home then.

**:: ::**

**AN**: Finally! Riku was in a chapter! There will be more of him in the next, and obviously in the one after that. I mean come on, those two can't keep away from each other! XD. I seriously want to get this fiction finished before the end of December, so I will be working extra hard these next couple of weeks to deliver this story to you guys. In total there are going to be twenty nine chapters, and if any one can spot how I came up with twenty nine chaps, then the next one will be dedicated to them. So send it in a review (I'm a whore for them) XD.


	13. Last Chance

**H****opelessly I'll Love You Endlessly**

**Disclaimer: **If I had the money earned from making and creating the masterpiece that is Kingdom Hearts, I wouldn't be here right now writing fictions, I would be in Barbados soaking up the sun. But seeing as I'm not, I don't own the game.

**AN:** Aha my lovelies. Looks like another chapter at a late date as usual. Seriously, apologies can't even come close to make up for how sorry I am that I can't get these out to you guys soon enough. Me and my mum don't get along so every time I tell her to put the goddamn internet back on, she refuses all because she hates me I tell you! Anyways, with my apologies out of the way, I need to tell you about this chapter. It's long. That's basically it. And remember how in the last '**AN**' I said that there was going to be Sora and Riku interaction… _well_…I'll leave you guys to draw up your own conclusion.

**Chapter Thirteen**

**Last Chance**

Kairi I can handle.

Roxas I can handle.

Leon I can't.

As soon as he asked me about Riku, I froze. I never know what to say to Leon because I never know how he'll react. When Riku left us all those years ago, Roxas was mad, but Leon didn't really say nor _do_ much about it. In fact, I don't think he done or said anything about it at all. Which is why it was so hard for me to answer him, I don't know if he likes Riku or if he hates him just as much as Roxas and Kairi.

When I didn't give him an answer, he sighed and drove me to the nearest open fast food restaurant available. All that I could do was sit there in my seat and wonder what Leon would say to me about Riku. He even asked me what I wanted to eat, and I couldn't give him an answer. My older brother was currently at the counter ordering us some food, leaving me to be seated alone with my thoughts.

Part of me was still paranoid beyond all belief, but the other part couldn't get over being with Riku earlier. This has been two nights in a row now, surely that must mean something. The thing that gets to me the most is that Riku never used to express to me what he was feeling so willingly. There are still some things he's not ready to tell me, but the stuff that he has, so far, has really got me surprised. Leon returned a couple of minutes later with food on tray and his usual stoic expression, making it harder for me to tell if he was in a good mood or not.

"I got you a cheeseburger and some fries with coke." He placed it all in front of me then took a seat opposite me. As expected, he got himself some sort of salad with water. _God_ my brother is so boring.

I would have blurted those words out to him but the fact that I was nervous prevented me from doing so. "Thanks," I murmured instead.

The food looked so delicious and tempting, but something inside of me prevented me from eating the greasy goodness. Leon regarded me with one quick look before using his fork and to rummage through the salad. We went on like this for minutes before he finally started talking.

"You never did answer my question," he noticed, keeping his eyes on the salad at hand before taking one tiny bite and looking at me. My blue eyes widened as I tried my damned hardest not to look him in his face. Leon has this type of ability to make me crack just by looking into his intense stare, so avoiding it was the next best thing. Leon then shrugged slightly and continued on with his salad. "I don't know why you're getting yourself worked up, it was just a question."

"He's fine." I said warily. I knew that if I showed Leon that I was too reluctant to answer his questions, then he would jump to conclusions. Conclusions that would probably be right and he knew that.

"When did you two become friends again?"

"Does it really matter?" I didn't ask the question with attitude, and I tried to keep the annoyance out of my voice. I picked up one french-fries and started to play idly with it.

"I'm just curious, that's all." He answered simply. "It was just a shock to see you with him today at the hospital."

"Well, he _is_ close to Lulu so it doesn't surprise me."

"I wasn't curious to see him at the hospital, just surprised to see him with you. It's been what, three or four years since he last spoke to you right?" Finally those stormy blue irises looked up at me expectantly.

"Four," I corrected "And it doesn't matter anymore so can we just drop the subject." I didn't ask it as a question but more of a command. Though, Leon knows I have so sense of authority with him so he continued on anyways.

"Is Riku the reason you and Roxas had an argument this morning?" The question caught me off guard completely.

"He told you about earlier?"

Leon shook his head, causing my own to cock to the side slightly. "Well, he didn't tell me _why_ you two argued but he _did_ expressively tell me that you're a 'gullible fool' and that I should speak to you." He explained. "So now I'm asking you."

"Where is Roxas now?"

"The last thing I remember he said he was staying around Hayner's today and some guy called Axel's tomorrow. Just enough time to 'knock some sense into you.'"

That sounds like Roxas. "So, how did you know it was about Riku?" I asked perplexed.

"It doesn't take a genius to figure out what has happened Sora. So, how long have you been friends with Riku?"

There was no point in me lying to Leon. He's already figured me out and all I can do is play his game and hope I come out the winner. "A couple of days, the day after the party I think." I answered honestly.

"Okay and how is he?" He finished his salad and placed the empty container to the side of him, giving me his full attention. Now this one I don't know how to answer because I don't _have_ an answer. It's hard to tell if he's coping well or not. When I first saw him he was blaming himself for what happened to Lulu but afterwards, he did start becoming more like himself again. That could have been to make me feel more at ease with him, but at least he hasn't changed completely. In fact, I'll go as far enough to say that he hasn't changed at all, he's just been through a hell of a lot, and I haven't even heard half of it. "Sora?" He called to me when I didn't give him an answer.

"I-I don't know." I stuttered truthfully then sighed. "Sometimes he seems okay, and he's talking to me, but there are other times when…" I paused to think of what to say.

"When…?" Leon prodded, trying to get me to continue.

I sighed one heavily sigh once more. "When I'm really worried about him, like _really_ worried about what he's thinking and going through and stuff." Leon nodded and gave me a look as if to say 'continue'. "I'm worried about the stuff that goes on at home with him Leon, there are times when he's like a completely different person and there's something he's not telling me, I know it."

"What do you mean by problems at home?" He inquired from my previous sentence, there was something in the way that he asked that that he knew more than what I was going to tell him – but I decided to disregard it as paranoia.

I rolled my eyes. "There's no need to act all big brotherly, Leon." I told him. "It's just; I don't think his brother and family care about him that much anymore."

"And he told you this?" Leon leaned forward and rested his chin on his fingers which were propped up by his elbows on the table.

"He didn't have to," I murmured, he looked at me suspiciously before I began to speak again. "He's been home alone longer than two weeks and none of them have even gotten in contact with him." I wanted to tell Leon about what Riku told me earlier about Sephiroth, but there are some things that have to be kept a secret between us.

"So there is nobody in the house with him?" I nodded my head, "For more than two weeks?" I nodded again, "And not one of the four has even bothered to tell him when they're coming back?"

"Yes Leon, now you can see why I'm so eager to see him all the time." I groaned out. "Roxas just doesn't understand and I don't need him to. He's okay because his best friend is still with him _and_ he's got Axel."

"Speaking of which I need to talk to you about," He stated before opening the cap of his bottle of water, "But right now I'm not interested in talking about Roxas, right now we're talking about _you _and Riku." He emphasized the word 'you', making it apparent that he didn't want to talk about anything other than what was going on with me. "It's not that you've done anything wrong, before you begin to get the wrong idea, it's just…I need to know that you're okay." He began to drink his drink all the while keeping an eye on me.

"I'm fine, I'm just concerned and I want to get to the bottom of it. Whatever it is he's not telling me, it's killing him and Sephiroth-" I stopped babbling immediately, how is it that Leon was always able to get me talking about stuff I shouldn't be talking about. Damn him and his brotherly persuasive ways!

"What about Sephiroth?" Leon asked darkly. My brother and Sephiroth never ever got along in their lives. Sephiroth is older than Leon by three years, so, all the times when our families would get together, Sephiroth would always try and force Leon into doing or saying something that would get him into a lot of trouble. Leon on the other hand, had other ideas like disobeying Sephiroth by arguing with the older silverette non stop.

Eventually, they both grew up but the hate between the two never did go away. Leon would ignore anything Sephiroth said, whereas Sephiroth would come out with a sneaky comment that would _always_ boil Leon's blood. I never actually knew what it was that he said to him that could cause such emotion from Leon, but whatever it was strong enough to make my brother so angry that he shouted and threatened to kill Sephiroth.

I'm never going to forget the day that that happened. Leon secretly pride's himself on being able to control himself in arguments, and never ever gets into an actual physical fight. Nor does he raise his voice or threaten to hurt someone when he's in an argument. But Sephiroth, he's just able to make Leon so mad that he forgets all that pride and loses it slightly. That night when it happened, he never did touch Sephiroth, but you could see it in his eyes that he wanted to. The way he was holding back was astounding; he even managed to walk off without anyone escorting him out.

The night that this even happened was about five or six years ago, they didn't see each other again until another year or so after that, when the funeral was. They didn't speak to each other apart from when Leon gave his condolences. But just by hearing the way he said Sephiroth's name again, made me very wary about what I told Leon.

"I just think Sephiroth is hurting Riku." Leon's eyes widened slightly, the first bit of living emotion I've seen in him since we've had this conversation. Realizing my mistake, I raised my hands dismissively. "Not physically, but mentally." I clarified, "That's why I'm worried about him?"

"The fact that Sephiroth could do that doesn't surprise me in the least." Leon murmured as he pinched the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes shut firmly. "Why do you think it was Sephiroth, it could be anyone of his cousins." Who he also hates, with passion, because they all stick to Sephiroth like three little puppies infatuated with their owner. "That is to say if he is being mentally abused."

"You didn't see him Leon," I started. "He hates and blames himself for everything that goes wrong. He doesn't even go home anymore; he just goes to the beach and spends hours there. I don't even know if he's eating properly, he hasn't lost weight, but he always looks like he's going to topple over or something. And there was something he told me earlier today about Sephiroth that just made me think he has a major part to play in why he's acting like this…

…It's not my place to say what Sephiroth did to him, but all you need to know that it was enough to make me shut up. Seriously Leon, it's sick, I can't imagine what good would have come from making him do what he did. And now, Riku hardly talks, he's always upset or fretting over something and he has no one. No one at home, no one at school and I'm really worried about him. You remember what he was always like: he loved himself, he was always overconfident, always tried to compete with me with anything. Now all he does is wallow in his own misery. I'm not used to it and it scares me if I'm being completely honest-"

"-Sora-" Leon managed to get in after my little rant. But I was too compressed in my own thoughts to listen.

"I just want my best friend back."

"Sora," He said a little louder, causing my face to stare at his. My brother ran a tired hand through his hair whilst sighing all the while. "I know you want to help and get to the bottom of it. But the truth of the matter is Riku doesn't want to tell you what's _really_ going on with him. I don't know whether it's to do with Sephiroth or because he doesn't want to hurt you or whatever. But if he doesn't want you to know, then you shouldn't prod him too much into telling you."

"I know this but-"

"-If I was you, I would just enjoy whatever time you guys have together. Don't worry about Roxas, he'll come around, as will whoever else has a problem with you two being friends again." Leon tried to help, but I'm just too reluctant to let the words settle in. I know that Riku wants to tell me, he just can't. But he and I both know that he won't be able to keep it up for long. "As for Riku, I'm sure that the more you hang around with him, the more you'll see he hasn't changed at all."

"Thanks Leon," I said breathily. I was honestly grateful for my brother's advice, but I knew that I wouldn't follow it. There's just something inside of me telling me to get through to Riku and make him open up. It's not something that's going to happen overnight, I'm going to have to be patient during our last couple of weeks together, but damn it all I _will_ find out.

"You should eat your food, it's getting cold." He replied dully, as usual. "This place is a rip off, back in Hollow Bastion; you could get more food for less money." He commented.

"_Gods_," I started with a mouthful of fries. "I haven't been there in ages, is your house still the same?" I asked, making small conversation.

He nodded, "But ever since I met Cloud and his friends, the house has been full of people. There's this one girl called Yuffie, she reminds me a lot of you; always optimistic and happy even at the worst of times." Leon informed me with a faint smile.

I smiled back at him and finished my mouthful. "So, how did you meet Cloud? You never did actually tell me, and seeing as I am your brother, I think I have the right to know." I tried with a cheesy smile. I think I still had some potato in my teeth because Leon gave me a disgusted look before averting his gaze elsewhere.

"We met at one of those 'small business man of the year' awards things, I didn't want to go but Rinoa convinced me otherwise."

"You still keep in contact with her?"

He nodded, "Just because we're not dating anymore doesn't mean I have to stop talking to her. She's still one of my close friends." He replied. "Anyway, it was the end of the evening and they were about to announce who got the award. It turned out that it was some guy who owned a delivery service. So, there I was clapping at the winner who was being shoved onto the stage by his shorter friend who reminds me of you."

"It was Cloud who got the award?" I asked mildly surprised, "you never told me Cloud owns his own business."

"You never asked," He responded uninterestedly. "By the time that we were all allowed out of the building, Yuffie had had a little too much champagne to drink and started arguing with Rinoa and Zell," Zell was his other friend that moved to Hollow Bastion with him. They had known each other for ages, and to some, they don't seem all that close, but oh how they are. "So I quickly ran over and escorted her back to the guy I saw her with earlier: Cloud."

"And the rest is history?" I said cheekily as I finished my burger. _Damn_ this stuff is good, I don't even remember the last time I had something this greasy and delicious. Everything I eat usually has enough sugar to feed an entire country.

"Not Quite. Turns out that that little Yuffie is a lot stronger than she looks and even has a little fight in her; she punched me right in the nose before I even had a chance to take her back to Cloud."

It was at that moment that heavy showers of coke spurted from my mouth and out to the table in front of me. Around about ten pairs of eyes were watching me with disgust, including Leon's, as I looked at my older brother with complete shock. "She what?" I cried, not caring about who heard me.

"It doesn't matter, she was drunk." Leon replied as though it was an everyday thing. "So was Rinoa which is _why_ they were arguing in the first place. Apparently Rinoa was the one who went up to Yuffie and told her that Cloud didn't deserve to win or something like that. So by the time I managed to bring her back to Cloud, I apologized to them both but my nose started bleeding." He explained "Yuffie went in the car with her boyfriend, Vincent, and Cloud insisted that he cleaned my wounds and made sure I was okay. _Then_ the rest is history."

After I had recovered from my little outburst of coke, and heard the rest of Leon's story, I mainly wanted to ask him what his current relationship was with Cloud. I knew he would never give a straight answer because that's Leon for you. He'll find some way to sneakily twist it, then it would all come back to talking about me – something I rather we didn't right now.

Once I had finished my food, I patted my stomach thankfully, while stretching all over the place. Leon had sat silent for the most part, so I decided to ask, "why did you want to talk about Axel?"

"I just wanted to know what he was like, that's all." There was something in his voice that sounded like there was more to it.

"Why don't you ask Roxas?"

He snorted quietly whilst giving me a mild incredulous look. "Because he's Roxas," It was true; my brother could be so defensive if you ask him one question about his life. To Roxas, one question is an interrogation and he answers questions with one of his own, it's frustrating as you can tell, but that's how he operates.

"Well, Axel only came to our school a little over a week ago so I don't _really_ know him that well."

"If he only came a week ago then what's the point of going to school for two weeks?" Leon inquired thoughtfully. I asked Axel the same question the night of the party, and I don't think he would be pleased if I told Leon the reason, especially because I don't think he's told Roxas either. Come to think about it, I don't think Leon would be happy to hear the truth either. "You guys don't have exams or anything, do you?"

"Not anymore." I answered. "If it helps, he's Reno's younger brother. They used to live in Hollow Bastion but Reno came here before Axel so…" I drifted off, hoping he would draw his own conclusions.

Hollow Bastion is known for its reputation of criminals. Every single building used to be vandalized and broken down that was part of the reason why Leon decided to run his own building business there. Apparently when he was younger, mom used to take him there all the time to look at these amazing crystalline mountains that sparkled in the night. Of course _now_ that the whole place is being repaired and is on the mends, it makes quite the tourist attraction – Especially the mountains, but now they've been made into a ski resort. Some used to call it the 'Ruins of Hollow Bastion' because the place had been so badly treated in the past, but now it looks at though things might be getting better – which I think Leon secretly appreciates.

We left the fast food restaurant with Leon swearing that he would never step foot in one again and set off for home.

**:: ::**

Leon explained to me what happened when he left the hospital on our drive home.

He went to a place called DEC, it stands for Destiny's Emergency Centre, and it's where you go when you want to find out about people's current position in the army and more. They were the people who get in contact with you when something has happened. It explains how Seifer knew about his brother and Wakka's. The place, as you can imagine, was packed with people all desperate to find out about their loved ones. Leon managed to talk to the people at the reception but because too many people were there he decided that it would be best if they contacted Wakka with the news first, then him.

Leon pulled up into the driveway and turned of the engine. "I'm going back to the hospital. Cloud and Aerith should already be there by now."

"How did they get back to the hospital? Clouds bike is over there," I pointed in the direction of where the motorbike stood.

"Aerith refused to get on it so she forced him into her mini, much to Cloud's dismay." He smiled faintly.

There was something I wanted to ask Leon about when I saw Aerith take hold of Cloud's hand. "Did Cloud know Aerith before you brought him to Hollow Bastion?"

Leon paused; his eyes remained on the mirror above us, as I continued to stare. I was just about to tell him to forget that I asked, but when he nodded, I knew he would explain. "Cloud has known Aerith since they were younger, but haven't seen each other in over nine years."

"Isn't that around the same time Aerith moved here?"

He nodded. "It's not my place to say, but some things happened back then which caused her departure. I don't want you to ask her _or Cloud_ what it was okay?" He asked me firmly as he turned to look at me with serious grey eyes. I nodded and told myself over and over again to _not_ open my big mouth. "It also kind of ties in with Riku as well," he added, gaining my full attention.

I looked at him puzzled, surely the two have never met before so why would Riku fit into this equation? "What do you mean?" I questioned.

He sighed. "Look, just…" He paused as to think of what to say whilst, yet again, running a hand through his shaggy brown strands. "If ever Riku is in the house, or crosses paths with Cloud, make sure he doesn't tell Cloud who his brother is… or his cousins for that matter okay?" No it was not okay. I wanted to know why the hell Riku fit into all over this. I'm tired of all these secrets being kept from me, even _Leon_: 'Mr. I-can-intrude-in-your-life-but-don't-even-think-about-doing-it-to-mine', knows something about him that I don't. I pouted and looked off in the direction of my house, not knowing what answer to give Leon. I think he could see me battling it out in my mind because he then sighed and said, "I don't like it either but you've got to trust me, it's too personal and it has nothing to do with Riku, just Sephiroth." He explained softly.

I sighed. I guess he _was_ right, it's none of my business, but I want to make it my business. Even if it's not about Riku I still want to know, I'm tired of playing in the dark when it comes to secrets. It's like I'm the only one who isn't allowed in on the inside and I want to know why.

"Fine." I mumbled as I undone my seatbelt and began to get out of the car, "when will you be back?"

"I don't know. Do you want me to call you when we leave?"

"No need. Just call me in case something happens to Lulu, like if she wakes up or something."

He gave me a simple nod of the head which was so faint it would have been imperceptible if I hadn't of looked at him properly. "Goodnight Sora."

"Goodnight." I replied. The silence of our street was broken by the sound of Leon's new car as the engine started up and he was driving away. I waved him goodbye until he was no longer in sight then stepped inside the empty house. For the first time today, bed and sleep were the only things on my mind, and I knew that I would give into it willingly.

**:: ::**

The next morning, we all sat in Lulu's room awaiting her awake. Dr. Cole said that she would wake up by noon and the time now was just after quarter to twelve. The room was fuller than the previous night because we had the new edition of Selphie, Zexion and Auron. Kairi wouldn't be able to come here until later thanks to her dad and apparently Tidus' mom will be taking her here and staying also with the rest of us. Leon and Cloud stayed the entire night at the hospital and Cloud was practically falling asleep on the chair. Leon sat next to him, at the far end of the room; looking equally as tired and next to Leon seated Aerith.

Wakka sat with his chair pulled up to her bedside with eager eyes waiting for her to regain consciousness. Selphie and Tidus stood silently by the door, not wanting to interrupt any train of thoughts the rest of us had going on. Zexion was outside getting _trying_ to get in contact with Axel so that we could talk to Roxas (Leon's orders). I, on the other hand, got the privilege of standing with Auron on the opposite side of Wakka. Though, today he didn't seem as…_intimidating_ as my previous encounters him.

Much to Leon's joy, a bunch of nurses came in to check on Lulu's current condition, but none of them were that LeBlanc girl, who I, too, do not like. There was something about the way she didn't really seem like a nurse that really got to me. I mean, she even fell for Leon's excuse about being Lulu's brother, how incompetent can someone be?

The minutes passed on slowly, as if on purpose, making every second gone seem further away until Lulu awakes. Of course we knew that she wouldn't wake up at exactly noon, but the wait until she finally did was killing me and everyone else for that matter.

"I just got off the phone with Axel." Zexion announced as he silently entered the room. All our heads turned so fast to look at the slate haired teen. "He said that Roxas would be at the house by one o clock and that they would be here about half past two." And by then Kairi and Tidus' mom would have arrived. This place sure is going to be full and I know a certain someone isn't going to come in if the place is full of people – especially people he thinks hate him.

But I'm not thinking about him right now.

Lulu is number one priority.

**:: ::**

Auron and I were the only ones who lasted, probably because we were the only one's who got a decent nights sleep and were the only ones standing (Tidus and Selphie fell asleep in front of the door on the floor). Zexion sat on the seat available next to Cloud and fell asleep reading the book that _was_ in the blonds' lap. It was only nine past twelve but the wait did seem like forever so I can understand why they all fell asleep.

"I understand you've known Lulu for a long time?" Auron's gruff voice asked me, and for the first time today he was actually facing me.

To be polite, I turned and faced him too with a nod. "She's like a sister to me, to all of us really." I responded quietly.

"She's very important to me too. At least she's okay and will wake soon. It's a shame I can't say the same for the rest of them." He said as we both looked around at the mass of sleeping bodies.

"Lightweights."

Auron and I both turned our heads in unison to look at the now awake Lulu looking languidly to the ceiling. "I'll go and get the doctor." Auron declared and set off to do what he just said.

I slowly walked over to her and smiled warmly. Her hazel eyes looked around and blinked hard, probably to rid themselves of the sleep. "Morning beautiful," I greeted and handed her a glass of water Cloud had prepared for her earlier. She smiled her thanks and began to lightly sip the drink. "Would you like to me to wake the rest of them up?"

Her eyes closed softly as she gave a small, slight, shake of the head. "Let them rest." She said croakily then opened her eyes to look at the amount of people in the room. "I bet your brother didn't leave the hospital right?" she asked.

"You know him too well," I answered for her then looked at Lulu with concerned eyes. "How do you feel?" I asked her quietly.

"My throat hurts and so does my back, but other than that I'm okay. There's no need to worry." Lulu replied as she tried to sit up, though it looked like it caused her pain so I helped her.

My thumbs began to fidget with each other once she sat up properly. "Do you remember anything that happened?"

She chuckled to herself then started to cough painfully. I immediately rushed to pat her soothingly on the back. "I appreciate your concern Sora." She started once her breathing evened out. "But I haven't got amnesia, I remember getting a phone call about Chappu and getting into the car, but that is about it."

"The doctor will be here shortly with Auron so he'll explain what happened to you properly."

"What about Chappu? Have any of you heard any news?" Lulu asked hoarsely, half closed hazel eyes looking at me eagerly.

"I'll explain to you when the room isn't so crowded." My face turned to the side where the voice had come from. Leon sat with one leg propped up against the other and what looked like relief in his eyes as he saw that Lulu was awake. I could tell the real reason why Leon wouldn't tell Lulu right now, she would immediately start racing out of here, in her current position just to find some information on her fiancé. "How are you feeling?"

"I've been better." She replied with a small smile.

Leon smirked. "Same old Lu: always trying to better a situation," he murmured to himself. "Do you want me to get you anything?"

"Same old Leon: always trying to be helpful." She commented "No. Thank you. Auron has gone to get me a doctor." She clarified. "I'm sorry that I made you stay the night in hospital, you must be exhausted." She apologized.

"Don't apologize." He waved his hand nonchalantly around the place. "It beats sleeping next to Cloud."

"I heard that." We heard Cloud murmur as he slowly opened his azure blue eyes. "It's nice to see you're awake."

"Ditto," she croaked merrily.

By the time Auron had returned with Dr. Cole everyone was awake. Aerith and Selphie shed tears of joy once they woke up and gave Lulu a warming hug. Tidus cheered and whistled his thanks that she had finally awoken. Zexion remained as quit as ever but you could tell that he was pleased. Wakka was the last to wake because once he's asleep; it takes an entire marching band to wake him back up. But once he did wake, he pulled Lulu into a bone crushing hug. Dr. Cole gave Lulu the details of what her condition was like and how she had to treat it. Unfortunately, Lulu isn't fully healed and would have to remain in hospital for a further week so that they could run some tests and monitor her at all times. None of us wanted to hear this kind of news but when we realized that it was for her own safety, we let it go. Nine sets of ears listened eagerly to what else the doctor had to say.

"Overall, I see you, Miss. Rune, as one of those rare cases who make quick progress and leave here before we anticipated. Though, we know for definite that you would make a full recovery in a week. Now, when your car hit the pole, your car seat went forward along with you and hit your spine at a harsh angle. A nurse would be in here in a while to give you some potion to heal the pain but for now, all I can recommend is that you get a lot of rest."

"Is that your way of saying we need to leave Doc?" Tidus asked tiredly.

"I'm afraid it's what Miss. Rune needs right now. You can come back tomorrow during the visiting times but right now I do recommend that she rests." He then laughed out loud whilst observing all of our faces. "And by the look of it she's not the only one."

Wakka looked at the doctor with pleading eyes. "But- But this is the first time we've got to see her. More people are supposed to arrive as well."

Lulu raised her hand to cover his own that was currently resting on her bed. "I'll be here tomorrow, and it looks like you haven't slept a wink." She said reassuringly and smiled at him weakly.

Wakka reluctantly nodded as we all started to stand from our seats. Leon was currently talking to the doctor whilst the rest of us said our sullen goodbyes.

"I'll be back tomorrow with your purple eye shadow and mascara." Aerith commented as she gave Lulu a motherly hug then exited the room.

"Wakka's going to be staying at mine until you get better. So hurry up because he drives me nuts!" Tidus joked as he, too, gave her a hug and stuck his pink tongue out to the glaring orange haired teen on the opposite side. He then waited by the door for Selphie and Wakka.

"I'm going to miss you Lulu and don't think that I won't be back here tomorrow with some chocolates and treats." Selphie grinned. She and Lulu always did have a sweet tooth (but they are no where near as bad as me), so I think that gesture made Lulu think she had something to look forward to. She gave Lulu a hug and waited by the door with her boyfriend.

Auron was the next in line to say his goodbyes. "I'll be back tomorrow, is there anything you want me to tell him? He's very concerned." Most of the occupants in the room that heard Auron looked at Lulu curiously. Who was he talking about?

Lulu smirked. Well obviously she knew who he was talking about. "Just tell him to stay away." She declared, and with one nod of the head he turned around and headed out of the door.

"Get well soon. School won't be the same without you." Zexion claimed once Auron was out of earshot, causing Lulu to smile and nod in understanding. The slate haired teen went outside of the room to join Auron but before he did he turned to Leon. "I'll call Axel again and tell him to come tomorrow." He stated then left.

"Well, I have other patients to see, so I'll return shortly to check up on you." Dr. Cole announced.

"Thank you Doctor." Lulu thanked before he smiled sweetly and left the room, leaving a reluctant looking Wakka, a tired Lulu, a stoic Leon and Cloud and a nervous me alone in the room.

"When I come back tomorrow I expect you to have made a lot of progress – that's an order." I said mockingly to get her to smile, which it did. "Kairi will be here tomorrow as well so you can speak to her as well. She misses you loads, I can tell."

"Thank you Sora." She said warmly to me. "I know that now doesn't seem like the right time, but you need to get it done: your project." I wanted to roll my eyes, _Gods_ how I wanted to roll my eyes, but the way she looked at me stopped me from doing so. It amazed me that even in hospital she would act like my teacher. "If you have no idea what to do, it's on the school website." She informed me with a look to say 'there's-no-getting-out-of-it-now'. "I want it here on Monday."

"No rest for the wicked, eh?" I murmured under my breath, earning a light chuckle from Lu. "I'll have it for you on Monday, just get better okay?"

"It's a deal." She replied and held her hands out for a hug which I was willing to give her. I didn't want to let go of her but I knew that I had to and when I did I was met with a warm smile. "Good bye Sora and tell Kairi I said that I'll see her soon."

I nodded my okay and managed to get to the door before Leon's deep voice called me. "Sora?" I turned around to look at my brother in the eyes. "Wait for me out front, I'll be out in a minute. Also, if you get a hold of him, tell Tidus, if he hasn't already, to call his mom and tell her about the change of plans." I nodded and went to do exactly as he said. I knew he was about to explain to Lulu and Wakka the situation with Chappu so I decided to leave without another word.

I managed to catch up with Tidus and tell him to call his mom. He caught a ride home with Selphie and her dad while I waited out here for Leon. Now that I knew Lulu was okay, I couldn't stop the rapid blush that was overtaking my cheeks as I remembered that I was standing in the exact same place where Riku kissed me. Okay, it was a kiss on the cheek and it probably meant nothing to him, but it turned my entire world upside down. To the passers by I must have looked like a complete weirdo because I had a goofy smile on my face as I thought about the silverette last night.

"Are you okay? You're looking kinda weird brudda." Wakka's unsure voice filled the scene, bringing me of whatever day dream I would have had.

I shook my head. "I'm fine just thinking that's all." I answered and looked around for my brother and his friend. "Where's Leon and Cloud?"

"He said he needed to talk to Lu about something private and important. He said it wouldn't take long then he'll give me a ride to Tidus'."

"Okay," Wakka looked tired and stressed. I guess he didn't get much sleep either yesterday. "How you holding up?"

He sighed then scratched the back of his neck. "I couldn't sleep at _all_ last night. Lu, she's my world, ya, and to know that she had to spend the night in there instead of a couple of rooms away from me where she belongs made me feel guilty. If she's got to be in there all week," He sighed again. "I-I don't think that I would be able to go on the Blitzball camp if she doesn't get better."

I rested a hand on his shoulder for comfort. "I know you feel like you have to be there for Lulu right now and you do, but by the time your camp thing comes around, Lu will be fine. There are loads of people here to look after her as well. I think if you didn't go on the trip, Lu would feel like it's her fault and we both know it isn't." In all honesty, I didn't even want Wakka and Tidus to go Atlantica, purely because our time together is so limited that I don't want to waste it. But I know that they would be truly unhappy if they were to stay here on their vacation hanging out with us guys instead of doing something they really love. There are some things you just have to let go.

"I guess your right buddy. But if anything happens to her I'm coming straight back with no arguments okay?" He finished with a smile.

"Okay."

"Are you ready?" Leon called from behind us who was slowly followed by Cloud. Wakka and I both nodded then headed for my brother's new car. Leon started driving but it wasn't until he took a different turning that I began to grow curious as to where he was taking us. It took him about three minutes to get to the destination he was aiming for, and I couldn't help but stare with wide eyes at the building.

"Sora. Out." He ordered plainly.

I sat in the back seat with Wakka and continued to stare at him with wide blue eyes. "What?" I cried

"You heard me. If you have a project due in for Lulu, you can do it for her today. Cloud pulled some strings with some of the nurses and they'll give you until three o clock to see her and hand her the papers."

"But-But!" This wasn't fair. "Do I have to get it done in the library? Can't I just do it at home?"

"Nope because you have too many distractions at home and I know what you're like. Besides, at least you know that here, you wont be distracted." Even though I couldn't see it, I knew that there was a smirk on my brother's face. I could tell that there was just by looking at his eyes in the reflection of his eyes in his mirror. He knew that I hated libraries because they are so quiet and I'm not. "Here's some munny if you want to get a taxi home. If you spend it all on food, call me on your mobile, but there's a high chance that I won't answer, so try not to blow it."

"Just-but-_please_," I begged, I hate libraries and Leon making me do this is more than a punishment.

"Goodbye Sora." Muttering a couple of words about Leon that I don't even think exists, I huffed and puffed my way out of the car and made sure I slammed that stupid metal door loudly behind me. I knew that he was laughing to himself now and its times like this when I really, really, _really_ hate having an older brother. Leon drove off proudly whilst beeping his horn, to make it apparent that I had to enter the gates of hell in my opinion.

I gave the tall building a big sigh before entering in and doing exactly what was asked of me.

**:: ::**

It didn't take me as long as I thought it would.

It wasn't even all that hard.

I managed to write a whole essay in less than an hour and that is something that never happens to me. For me it usually takes ages _or_ I just refuse to even try. But because it is Lulu, I made the effort and did it to the best of my ability. Part of me felt guilty for giving this to her. It's an essay that concludes most of what we have been learning about in the past couple of weeks. The essay is about modern war and what we had to do was a written essay and a speech about the two worlds at war: Bevelle and Midgar.

The two worlds have been at war for the past two years and there are constant reports on the news telling us about what's going on with them and so on and so forth. Which brings me back to _why_ I felt guilty about giving it into Lulu in the first place: I know for a fact that Leon has told them about Chappu, and for me to give Lulu in written words why Chappu's at war, all the injuries and such makes this whole thing seem wrong.

I know that Lulu is strong and that she's probably been forced by the school into making us do this project, but I still don't feel right giving this to her. I mean, she's in hospital over stress and I don't want to add on to that by making her worry about Chappu. Though, Leon did defiantly tell me that I _had _to get this into her today so I guess I have no choice in the matter.

I spoke to one of the nurses at main reception and she told me that I would be able to see Lulu but only for a second to hand her the papers then I'll have to hurry out before Dr. Cole finds out. I walked down the familiar hallways with a tight knot in my stomach. I don't know why I was so nervous, I mean, _Lulu_ knows what the project is about so then she must have prepared herself for something like this. After all, she did insist that I gave this into her ASAP so I hope it doesn't bother her this much.

As I approached Lulu's room I noticed that her door was open and that there was a male speaking to her. Too nervous in case it was Dr. Cole; I leaned idly against the wall so that I was out of eyesight but in earshot so that I could hear what they were talking about. Lulu's voice was faint but it could be heard and it was no where near as croaky as it was before. This time my eavesdropping intentions weren't as bad as they were yesterday. I was only listening so that I could tell when Dr. Cole would be leaving the room.

"I know that you want to stay, but you can't, if the doctor comes back we'll be both be in a lot of trouble." Lulu laughed quietly and sadly. Now that I knew that it wasn't the doctor, I felt it was safe to go into the room, but I didn't because I didn't want to interrupt. I also didn't know _who _Lulu was talking to… could this be the 'he' she was talking about with Auron? I wanted to move a little closer to see, but I knew I couldn't do so without being caught. So I just waited. "Are you going to come and see me tomorrow? I'm sure the others would be pleased to see you."

"I think I'll pass." I recognized the voice instantly. "I've got a lot of training to do so…"

"On a Sunday?" Lulu asked then there was a pause before she spoke again. "I see. Well, in that case you should get going now and thank you for handing this in now. I should be getting Sora's written one soon so I also have that to look forward to." There was another pause then a sigh- I think it came from Lulu. "You know you should talk to him about this. You never know, it might do you both some good."

"Are you kidding?" It was asked incredulously. "You know how he is with this type of stuff. I won't be able to tell him…I-I can't."

"But this might be your last chance before-" Lulu started but was promptly cut off by me.

"-Before what?"

I entered the room with my essay papers held tightly to my chest. I asked the question to Lulu but my blue eyes refused to look away from Riku who was looked back at me with a guilty face and lifeless teal eyes.

"Well?"


	14. Leaks In His Lies

**Hopelessly I'll Love You Endlessly**

**Disclaimer:** Two months _again_ with no internet meaning no around the clock updates about KH. Therefore me no no own Kingdom Hearts. If you asked me a question about it, I would draw a blank and mostly cry a little inside.

**AN: **Okay, I know what you're thinking: 'nearly four months and only one chapter!?' My deepest apologies! No Fan fiction has really taken its toll on me big time. I mean seriously! There is no doubt that I'm even having withdrawal symptoms. I'm groggier, my squealing isn't how it used to be and I have the constant craving to read something - _anything_ new. Even if it's with a pairing I hate... well sorta. Anyways! I need to apologize to you my good readers and reviewers for the wait of this chapter. I couldn't think of _anything_ for this chapter for a _long_ time. Then my computer broke and long story short I had to rewrite all of what I had written already. I think this chapter turned out better then my other draft though, so enjoy.

**Chapter Fourteen**

**Leaks in His Lies**

"Well?"

My heart was beating slightly faster than usual as I stared into his eyes that I expected to be alive with surprise, but instead dimmed with dullness. He didn't even seem fazed that much by my presence. "What is it that you're hiding from me Riku?" I rephrased, lighter, but still maintaining the determination in my voice to know the truth.

"I've told you before, I... I can't." His voice contradicted his uncaring stance entirely. It was filled with such emotion, such sad, broken, remorseful emotion. I stood frozen, concerned, in my place while he turned and faced Lulu with a smile matching his voice. "I gotta go, I'll see you soon," and without waiting for a response, walked off into my direction.

I was able to catch one quick glance of his sorrowful expression before he bowed his head down and continued to walk, our shoulders barely brushed as he headed for the door, allowing a genuine "Sorry," pass his lips as a whisper before exiting the room completely.

"Riku." I called, hoping that the tone in my voice was loud enough for him to hear, but when I turned to see if he did, I could only see his retreating body leaving the hospital.

My eyes closed and the battle I had to suppress a sigh was inevitably lost as it came out a lot more frustrated than I thought. The next thing that was on my mind was to bombard Lulu with as many questions as I could, but I knew she was too ill for my nonsense. Also, she would remain loyal to Riku and keep his secrets.

"Sora?" She croaked. I opened my eyes to see that she had a feeble sympathetic smile on her face, though; it was doing no good for me. I wouldn't feel reassured until I knew what was troubling Riku. She patted a free area on her bed, signaling for me what she wanted me to do.

Slowly, I made my way over to Lulu and sat down beside her, mentally preparing myself for whatever she had to say. But before I could let her speak, my apology had to come out first. "I'm sorry Lu."

Her smile still remained on her pale face. "You don't have anything to be sorry for, nobody does." She clarified firmly so that it would stay in my head. "It's been a while since the two of you have spoken, maybe you should give him time before you start divulging secrets and such." Lulu's suggestion was something I had run over in my mind so many times, but whenever I see Riku I just get the urge to know, to help.

"He shouldn't have to hide anything from me, he can tell me anything."

"And he knows this, but maybe he's finding it hard. Sometimes Sora, even the closest of friends find some things very difficult to say to each other. You guys have had over four years apart, and he's only just remembering what it's like to have a friend again." When I thought about Lulu's explanation, it did make sense. But in the few times that Riku _has_ actually spoken to me, he's told me a lot. More information than what most people would. So maybe this is more than him being uncomfortable.

"You're right Lu," I agreed even though I had already come up with different reasons why Riku wasn't talking. She patted my leg gently as her hazel eye scanned my sapphire to make sure that I was being genuine. I hoped I was pulling it off. To ease the mild tension that was soon to take over the room, I thought of a new turn for the subject. "I erm... did the homework that you asked for," I said with my hand scratching the back of my neck. "The one about the 'Recent Wars.'"

Surprisingly, Lulu didn't look at me happily or satisfied - only curious. Lulu looked me over as though she didn't accept that I had done it. "What two worlds did you do?" She asked in a voice which matched her expression.

"Bevelle and Midgar, I... hope you don't mind. If you want I can change it."

"No, no it's the one I was hoping you would do. Did you find out a lot of information?" The black haired lady asked once the papers of proof were in her midst. Her eye scanned over the paper as though she was searching specifically for something.

"Yeah, quite a lot actually," I answered truthfully, and secretly thankful that the conversation was off Riku, however thoughts of him would not stop flashing through my mind. "Those SOLDIER guys sure like to play rough." I added.

Finally, Lu smiled sincerely and warmly as she was content with the work that I had completed for her. "They sure do," she agreed before she started coughing slightly. "You better get going," she said hoarsely. "Dr. Cole will be back soon, and I don't want to give him any reason to make me rest even more tomorrow."

I nodded and rose from my position on the bed. "Okay, I guess I'll see you tomorrow Lu." I smiled before embracing her lightly. I managed to get to the door before I forgot to tell her something important. "Thanks Lu, for everything." She didn't respond with words but offered a smile and a small wave, before I left Lulu and the hospital.

**:: :: **

A firm knock on my door brought me out of my reverie of everything that has happened in the past three days. Never before has my life been so difficult. It was always either school, friends or family - never all of them at the same time.

"Come in," I called while lying upside down on my bed with my legs going up the wall. As I expected, in walked Leon, probably here to pry or check that I'm okay (My money is _not _on the latter).

"For the last time I'm not going there to spy on you, am I not allowed to go out for coffee now?" At first I thought he read my mind and was talking to me, but when he said the last bit, I knew he was on the phone. Most likely to Roxas no doubt. God, he's just another person to add to my list of people I need to make amends with. Leon sighed and rubbed at his temples. "Well then we will be there about ten to five so that you can start your shift in peace. It'll only take five minutes and it's kind of important... Okay? Okay... Bye." Then he hung up the phone with another sigh.

"'We'?" I repeated his word that he used on the phone. "As in..."

"Me and you," his straightforward answer had me looking slightly perplexed. Then I thought about what else he said to Roxas.

"What could be so important that we have to go there and see him?"

"First of, you two need to bury whatever argument you managed to get yourselves tangled in." I couldn't even defend myself before he continued. "_And_ this..." from behind his back he pulled out a large brown envelope, I knew immediately what it meant, and so did Leon."...arrived this morning."

"Oh," I replied, trying to keep the sadness from my voice, but I wasn't hiding it well. "Have you already opened it?"

He shook his head. "It's addressed to you and Roxas." He stated simply. "Are you okay? I know it can't be easy." Leon knew all too well.

I nodded a lie. "Do you know how much is in there?"

"Around about four hundred munny. So two hundred each."

"Why does he do this?" I was supposed to say this in my head but it came out as a low whisper; one Leon's ears were all too familiar to hear. My heart was consumed with disappointment in my dad. Although I was grateful for the money and happy that it would come in handy for the next few days, I knew that it would be a while since I saw him again. This is double the munny he gave us both before he left.

"Sora, dad he just... doesn't understand how this makes you or Roxas or anyone for that matter feel. Its not like he does it intentionally, but I don't think that even telling him would make the slightest difference. Dad is just one of those guys."

Both Leon and Roxas were on the same ship of thought when it came down to my dad. They don't hate him, but they do lose a lot of respect for him because of the way he acts and the things he does. Confronting my dad about issues is not an easy job, but that doesn't stop Roxas and Leon from trying, and that's when the arguments break out. I would rather avoid conflict. "How is Roxas going to react?"

"Like he always does," I replied with a roll of my eyes. Leon nodded, knowing how he'll react. "Are you okay?"

My older brother smiled and sat next to me as I attempted to sit up. "I'm fine, just waiting." He said airily, we both knew what he was waiting for: news on Chappu. I spoke to Wakka earlier and he still hasn't got any new updates. Leon must be very frustrated with all these things going on with him. But at least he can hide it well.

"I'm going to go out for a bit, I kind of need to talk to Kairi." I lied. Though I did need to see her, I knew that I couldn't, her dad wouldn't allow me within three feet of her until her punishment was over. Unfortunately, I would have to wait until school to speak to her again. I couldn't tell Leon where I was really going, if he knew, we would have another awkward conversation.

"Okay," he said once we were both by the door. "And don't forget, ten to five."

"Yes sir," I said in a mocking tone, causing Leon to ruffle my hair as I locked my door (then checked to make sure that it _was_ locked) then walked out of the house with no idea of where I was going.

**:: :: :: :: :: ::**

I thought that with a clogged and clustered mind, my feet would subconsciously take me to the beach where I usually go to find some coherency, but for some reason they didn't. I wasn't all that far from the beach, but I was surprised when it actually hit me that I was at the small docks. Tiny wooden boats were lined up either side of the bridge which I sat on the edge of, lightly following the motion of the waves. The weather was beautiful today: light wind, hardly any clouds and the sweltering sun beaming down on Destiny Islands. Birds were chirping, bees were buzzing and the world smelt of freedom.

I didn't pay attention to it at all.

My feet dangled over the edge of the bridge, no where near touching the water. I've been sitting here for hours and have found no peace in my mind. Questions with possible answers and possible solutions filled my brain, making me unable to see past them and admire the surroundings around me. There are just too many problems in my life for me to deal with. First Roxas then Kairi and in a way there's always been Riku. Why did they all have to mount together and hit me all at the same time? This would have been so much easier if I didn't have to deal with them all at once, but I know that I will have to eventually.

Out of all my problems, Riku was the one who dominantly took over my mind. I couldn't shake the way he looked at me this morning, when around a week ago he was looking fine. A week ago we spoke to each other rarely, but normally none the less. So why is it now that he's closing up again? He said that he couldn't tell me, but why? What could be so terrible that he couldn't tell me? No matter how bad everyone wants me to do it, I can't let this go. Something is telling me that I should be there for him and I'm not going to doubt my instincts. I did once and ended up losing him for four years - that was not happening again. If I went to speak to him now would he listen? Would he confess? Why should it even matter to me so much what he has to say anyway? His business is his own, and I shouldn't be intruding right? Why can't I just let him be?

Because I love him that's why.

Whether its subconscious or not I know that I'm definitely attracted to Riku, and as a friend, I've always loved him. Now I feel things deeper more... profound than simple attraction. There is nothing I want more than to be with him for every waking minute, talking about things that we'd most likely forget later on. I want to be there for him when he's going through really rough parts in his life. I miss him so much its becoming unbearable. Now that I've had him back in my life after so long, I'm not satisfied and I need more time with him. Its like giving a recovering alcoholic a shot of brandy after they've lasted so long without - once they've had that hit, it's hard to give it up. It's impossible for me to go back to life without Riku; it just is not an option.

Surely wanting to care for someone and wanting to spend some more time with someone doesn't mean love though, right? But I can't think of any other way to explain how I feel about him. I mean, I care for Kairi and the gang, and I always look forward to hanging with them, but with Riku it's more than just that. I know that there's going to be no way that he'll feel the same for me. So I think that it's a secret better kept to myself, I wouldn't want to say anything else to him that would wreck what we've just began rebuilding. He'll probably think I'm crazy or something - maybe I am.

As the morning rapidly turned to afternoon, I found myself gazing helplessly at the old islands that we used to play on. It seemed so much smaller now, but still picturesque none the less. Those were the days when we were all simple minded and care free, everyone got along and most importantly: it was ours. There were no parents and fortunately no older brothers to tell you what to do. Riku and I consumed most of each others days there, but with the addition of Kairi, things changed from then on. Riku and I still hung out but when more and more people came along it seemed to lose that special bond that was reserved for Riku and I.

I used to go there all the time on my own when Riku first left. Just to escape everyone and think about why he was behaving the way he was. It's kind of ironic really; four years on and I'm still doing the same thing, just on an opposite piece of land. I stopped going a while after that because the memories they brought, at the time, were too painful to face.

Now when I think about the memories Riku and I share, it drives me further and further into a world of determination to be there for him.

I stood from the bridge, no longer worrying about what to do. If I wanted answers from him, I would get answers from him. Even if I have to guilt trip him some way into telling me, I would find out the truth about everything. The truth about why he left, why he's acting the way he his and what this big secret is. I'd handle it all and be there for him, care for him, because that's what best friends do.

I walked the short distance of the streets so that I could get to the beach. I knew better than to go to his house, knowing all to well that he hasn't been going there. Once on the beach, my feet began to walk the familiar distance to our 'secret place', the place we went after our meeting in Scarlets. After forty minutes worth of walking, I finally managed to get to my destination. I knew that he was here because there were still some weak footprints molded into the sand, heading in the direction I was aiming for.

For the second time today, my heart's beats started picking up the pace as I approached the shadowed area. What would I say to him? Would he be happy or not to see me? Shaking these thoughts forcefully out of my head, I realized that I couldn't let them get the better of me - not now. Whatever happens now will all depend on "Riku?" I started uncertainly as I noticed him lying on the sand with his t-shirt positioned over his head so that I couldn't see his face.

My eyes couldn't help but wander to his bare chest, but, as I looked, I realized that his body was a lot more built that from what I remember a couple of days ago. Quickly, the thought shot through me, like a speeding arrow, that this wasn't Riku. "Sorry," I quickly apologized to the silent stranger before mumbling "I thought you were someone else." I turned around, slightly embarrassed, and was ready to walk off. But the familiar voice prevented me from doing so.

"So, you're looking for him too huh?" My first reaction was to stay frozen in place, but I needed to turn around to make sure that I wasn't imaging it. My eyes widened when I realized that my mind wasn't playing tricks on me and it was, in fact, _him_.

"Loz?" I said, even though he was looking at me with a small smirk, I couldn't keep the disbelief from entering my voice.

"The one and only," he stated proudly. Riku's cousin looked exactly he did four years ago. I was still shocked to see him here on the islands in stead of Riku. The last I heard, he'd been away for two weeks and a week had past since then, so in total they've all been away for three weeks, leaving Riku on his own.

"When did you get back?" I asked, still in slight disbelief. I hadn't seen him in _so_ long, and for him to look exactly the same as I remember, was just shocking.

"This morning." He answered nonchalantly. "Riku knew that we were all back today. I sent him a text last night telling him to make sure the house was tidy and that he should be home when we got in."

"So he wasn't at the house?"

"Nope. Riku being the angsty little teenager that he is wrecked the whole house and didn't even show up." Loz said as though it was amusing, the gasp forced its way out of my mouth before I could even stop it. He trashed the place? Just what is going on with him? "He left us a note though, saying 'welcome back', he wrote it in permanent marker on one of the mirrors. That kid really is something."

"So no ones found him yet? He hasn't come here at all?" The panic that I was feeling was evident in my voice.

"Relax; this isn't the first time he's done this." Loz tried to say reassuringly but it was obviously having no affect. "But this is the first time he took the car though," He murmured as an afterthought

If possible, my eyes widened even more. "Riku drives?" I cried incredulously. I then thought about last night when I found him sitting in between cars at the car park, swinging a set of keys around his finger. "Don't you think he's going to do-?"

"Woah-woah! Relax there kiddo, he ditched his car up on Sunset Avenue. He's not gone far and we both know he usually spends his time here so..." He trailed off as his face slowly morphed into a cunning one; he then looked at me with a mischievous grin smiling back at me. "Seeing as your here, I can be off."

I knew that I would wait for Riku anyway, but before I could argue, Loz was already on his feet and walking away from me. "And when you see him, tell him that Seph isn't happy!" He called, definitely amused, and then started walking into the distance. I was no fool. I knew that if Riku didn't want to be found, he couldn't be found. I waited until Loz was a mere dot in the distance before I began to move again. It was unmistakably a shock to see him here. He still looked the same; same silver hair in a style that had all the girls falling head over heels, same pastel green eyes that created a sense of envy, same attitude that suggested he didn't care about things, unless they were about him.

My heart was trying to tell me that Riku was my top priority, but my stupid old brain reminded me that Leon and Roxas had to come first. I stood there in the middle of the beach, wondering what I should do. I could search all around looking for Riku, no matter how long it takes..._or_ I could deal with this Roxas problem now, and then look for Riku. Either way, I would not stop until I found him and had a proper conversation.

I opted for the latter. I knew how disappointed Leon would be if I didn't turn up and at least _try_ and make up with Roxas. We both knew that Roxas would be too stubborn to make the first move, so it would have to be me. I just hope Riku doesn't do anything reckless until I find him.

**:: ::**

"I can't believe that the pair of you are seventeen years of age and I _still_ have to force you guys to talk." So far we had managed to get no where with resolving our issues. I don't think we could really say what we wanted with Leon here, but if I have to be honest, I wasn't fully putting myself in there.

Roxas groaned from the opposite side of the counter. Leon sat next to me on one of the barstools. Reno had graciously agreed to let us use the abandoned downstairs area to talk. "How much longer is this going to take? My shift starts in five minutes."

"And I've got places to be," I added. Since I arrived here, I couldn't stop worrying a finger nail between my teeth and fidgeting. I really wanted, _needed_ to find Riku.

"Leon we'll talk about this tomorrow, but now I really need to get going before I get fired on my first day." Roxas complained and allowed the top part of his body to slump on the counter - he knew he wasn't going anywhere.

The brunette's stormy grey eyes glanced at me then Roxas before he rolled them and sighed silently. "Fine, sort out your own issues in your own time, but first of all, sort out what you're going to be doing with this." The large brown envelope was then on the counter in a matter of seconds, sliding idly on the table. I quickly looked at Roxas who wore a blank expression then back at Leon who was getting up from his seat. "I'm going out, be back by eleven at the latest."

Roxas and I didn't bother offer our farewells as we continued to stare at the envelope. By the time Leon was out of the room, Roxas was the first to break the silence by sighing then finally lifted his golden hair from the counter.

"What are we going to do about this?"

Surprised to hear that he was actually talking to me caught me off guard, but I quickly recovered. "What we always do." I said blandly, "split it-"

"I wasn't talking about the money." His eyes looked up at me with complete and utter boredom, matching his voice completely. He leaned up and stood properly, keeping his eyes on mine the entire time, waiting for me to respond. But I couldn't. I've been trying to prepare for this all day, but now that the time has come, the words seem dead in my throat. He sighed again and ran a stressed hand through his golden spikes. "Leon's right, we need to talk."

He looked back at his watch then back up at me again. I could tell that he was as eager as I was to get out of here, but he was right, we _needed _to talk. Just not now. "Look Roxas, I know we need to talk, but can't we do this later? You've got to get to work and I've got to-" I stopped, carefully thinking about how I should end my sentence. If I slipped up and mentioned Riku, he would only say something that would get us both in an argument. "I've got things to do."

Roxas looked hesitant, and didn't bother to argue as he knew I was right. Thankfully, he didn't question me about it either. "Tomorrow okay? First thing in the morning before we see Lulu."

"Deal." I agreed as I rushed off my seat and headed for the door. I turned to face him and saw that he was holding and staring at the envelope with mild interest. "Oh Roxas by the way, if I'm not back by eleven, cover for me okay?"

"Why won't you be back by eleven?"

"Just trust me, please?"

I couldn't wait for his response; he only would bombard me with questions that I really didn't have the time to answer, and left Scarlets. Once outside, I inhaled a huge breath of patience because I had the wonderful task of impossibility ahead of me:

Looking for Riku.

**:: ::**

Luckily for me, it was still light out, when I started looking for him. _Then_ the sky turned nearly as black as my pupils and there was still no sign of him. I looked everywhere from our old 'secret' hiding places to the places _I_ never even knew existed. I even went back to the small abandoned area by the hospital, where we were last night, and he wasn't there. The thought that he went home never even crossed my mind. If he really did trash the house and leave then he won't return there until morning. I'm still half shocked that he would do something like that on purpose. It just - it doesn't sound like Riku at all. I thought that he would be happy that they were back, that he wasn't alone. What has gotten into him?

Around about ten o clock came by and there was not even a trace of silver hair. I knew better than to ask around, if he knew I was asking around then he would just bury himself deeper into what ever hole he found for himself. This was definitely harder than the last time Riku ran somewhere - it only took me about two hours to find him. Now it's been five hours and nothing.

Absentmindedly I found myself yet again at the docs, staring at the ocean and welcoming the cooler air that breathed in my direction. Time was running out for me to find Riku but giving up was far from my mind. I've just got to think like him in order to find out where he'd go. Obviously he wants to be left alone so he'll most likely go somewhere isolated somewhere I hadn't thought of yet. He'll probably want to be somewhere quiet where he could gather his thoughts properly. I've tried all the obvious and not so obvious places, so where on Destiny Islands could he have gone and achieved silence and solitude?

Then it hit me.

A fresh wave of wind blew directly at me, through my hair and down the fabric of my loose clothes. Strangely enough, it's quite common for the weather to just change as though someone had flipped a switch or something. However, this new gust of wind didn't bother me in the slightest, in fact, it helped me.

Through the darkened weather and sea, I saw the separate Island standing proud in its lonely glory. From what I've heard, no one's been there for years because of some safety issues regarding some of the bridges and ladders our parents built when we were younger. If there was anywhere Riku would go, I'm pretty sure it'll be there, I just know it. It's definitely worth a shot. Riku is worth a shot of anything.

The tide looked like it was coming in, and fast, so if I needed to move, it would have to be now. The Islands were about half a mile off shore, so it shouldn't take me that long to get there, especially if the weather appears to be taking the stormy turn that it is now. None of the boats that were floating were mine; I gave mine up a long time ago.

Stealing was out of the question, but _borrowing_ on the other hand is a completely different story, especially when Selphie's floral decorated boat was situated so perfectly next to me. The paddles were still in there as well, and I knew she wouldn't mind. My hands hastily found themselves the rope that was keeping the boat securely tight to the bridge and began to unfasten the knot, mentally taking note that Selphie liked to double knot things, and then expertly hopped into the wooden boat.

It didn't take me long to get back into the habit of paddling, and the waves and light breeze was making my journey easier. I know that when I see him he's not going to be in the talking mood or a co-operative one for that matter, but I've got to try and persuade him to come back or at least see reason. Light sprits of water splashed me as I rowed, but whether it was from the ocean or that it was going to start raining, I was not sure. The thought that Riku still might not want to speak to me bothered me so much that I hardly even noticed how quickly I was getting to the Island. Time was just flying by as though it was being carried by the wind and I just _hoped_ that Roxas would cover for me.

As soon as the water started to get shallow, I knew that I had reached my destination and hurriedly got out of the boat so that I could reel it in and tie it up.

A once forgotten feeling settled deep within my stomach and spread throughout my entire system as I took in the vicinity of the desolate area. Everything was still exactly the same; same smell of fresh air and the salty sea, same atmosphere that made me feel like a kid, same place that I can call mine... ours.

The dark surrounding didn't stop me from making my familiar way to where I knew Riku would be. Everything about this place made me feel different, not in a bad way but not in a good way either. It was just... being here again after all these years, after all that pain, made me feel like I gained something I lost. No matter how crazy it sounds, there is something about this place that makes me feel more like _me_ - how I used to be.

I jogged to the seaside shack, making a trail of heavy footprints in the sand as I did so, then quickly up the stairs then to the bridge that leads to another, smaller, hill of land. I thought my heart would start beating faster again as I approached the area I was almost certain he'd be, but it kept calm. I would be so disappointed if he wasn't on our favorite tree, but fear and anxiety for the older male would take over dominantly before that emotion could take place.

With every creaking step I took on the bridge I knew that I would be getting closer to the person that makes my heart thump and deafen me with its beating every time I think about him. Not just out of... love but out of all the feelings I have for him. Finally I made it to the other separate part of the island.

The part where Riku was.

He was situated solemnly on our old favorite tree. There was something special about this tree, for example, it grew sideways and grows the legendary fruit known as the Papou fruit. However, that's not why I found it special. I found it special because I know that no matter what the circumstances; Riku will always come back here as a last resort. No matter what. This will always be _our_ special tree no matter how many people would claim it as their own.

He sat staring at either the ocean or the stars that were starting to blink in the dark blanket of night that they were captivated in - whatever it was he was staring at it would most likely be something far from here. Somewhere where he can imagine an escape from Destiny Islands.

I tried to approach him as quietly as I could so that I didn't startle him. Whatever state his mind was in right now I wouldn't want to interrupt, just be there and comfort for him. One quiet step turned to two then three before I was within close proximity of the oblivious silverette. Not knowing which would be the best way to alert him of my presence, my hand hesitantly reached up to touch his bare shoulder, but before it could complete its journey, a velvety voice halted it in the air.

"Go home Sora."

**:: ::**

**AN:** Okay folks, sorry sorry and sorry again for the wait of these chapters, I promise more will come soon XD. Just wanted to say that the next chapter will be solely Riku and Sora, no other interactions. _Then_ the chapters after that will have more AkuRoku thanks to the demand of some readers.


	15. Over

**Hopelessly I'll Love Endlessly**

**Disclaimer: **I'm as broke as a mofo homies! So like yeah, with me finishing school right now and _really_ wanting to get into college I really can't afford a law suit right now. I don't own the Kingdom Hearts franchise. Never will do.

**AN:**Okay like, I so totally thought that I was only going to post one chapter, but I like got this massive urge to write this fiction. Sorry if you think it's a load of crap and makes no sense. You, my _beautiful_ reviewers and readers deserve so much more but… I like had like a massive writing snap and I just couldn't stop my puny little fingers from typing this. I can't believe that December was the last time I posted anything. Once again I'm really sorry for the wait of these chapters… my mum and I don't get on… refuses to pay bills…. Creepy owner guy watching me at the internet café! Seriously, I have chills running down my spine. He actually looks a bit like Vexen… only older and… greyer. Anyways, since I've probably lost the majority of my readers, I won't waste anymore time with this authors note. Just want to say that this chapter is a _lot_ longer than the previous ones and I guess you can imagine why. Anyways, I now bring you the long awaited chapter…

**Chapter Fifteen**

**Over**

I should have been shocked that he knew that I was there and I should have been hurt by his words, but I wasn't. Instead, I replied with the one word my heart kept forcing me to say. "No." I wanted him to turn and look at me in the eyes, but I was afraid of what the outcome would be. Would they still be as lifeless as they were when I saw him this morning? "I've been looking all over for you Riku."

He gave a humorless chuckle before threading his fingers though his delicate silver tresses. "Funny, I didn't know stalking was your thing."

"I didn't know Grand Theft Auto was yours," I retorted instantly without even thinking about what would come out of my mouth. To my surprise he chuckled, heartily, at my response, but he still didn't turn to face me. I wanted to do something to make him look at me, but what would it solve? I'd just be looking into dead eyes and an emotionless expression. I sighed, knowing that acting childish would get me no where with Riku. "How long have you been out here?"

Riku shrugged one shoulder. "Since I left the hospital." He answered casually. I was deeply concerned because that was over ten hours ago and anything could have happened during that time. I wanted to argue this to him, but it would only fall upon deaf ears and he beat me to it. "I forgot what it was like to be here… it's peaceful. Here I can finally shut the voices in my head and just listen to the ocean."

Suddenly I remembered when Riku and I were on our 'Secret Beach' and he told me that he was finding it hard to find peace there as well. Except for when I was with him. So no matter how hard he would try, I was not going anywhere. I just don't know what to say now or if there was something I should do? How do I comfort and confront someone who can't be comforted and confronted?

Riku sighed softly into the silence, and turned his head skywards, "You should get back Sora, Roxas and Leon would be worrying about you."

"I'm not going anywhere without you." I stated defiantly. "I'm pretty sure Sephiroth and the others are worrying about you too. They're probably looking for you right now."

"Or they're at home making sure that their businesses are in order. I don't even know why you're bothering anymore Sora, I just… wreck things, tangible or not." I knew what he was referring to, and I chose to ignore it. He hasn't wrecked our friendship; no one could ever do that. If I didn't say something soon, we would be consumed in another uncomfortable silence.

"Riku, can't we at least talk about this? It just – it doesn't seem like you."

"Then what does seem like me?" He responded softly, talking more to himself than me. "Because lately I can't seem to remember." I didn't know what to say. It hurt to know that Riku felt like he was losing himself, and I've had a hunch that that's how he's been feeling, but it hurts even more to hear it aloud. To hear how broken he was, just like this morning. Why isn't he letting anybody in? Why isn't he letting _me_ in? "Sora just… just go." He breathed.

"No." It was defiant and strong – something I didn't feel I would be able to be in front of him. He sighed once more and I chose to ignore him, this front was something I was not falling for or giving into without a fight.

A scoff released his lips before he spoke, a lot louder and more expressive than before. "Why – Why don't you just give up on me Sora? Why don't you just be like everyone else and forget about me?"

Because I love him.

"Because I love you."

I wanted it to come out as a small whisper, one only my ears can hear, but it didn't. It was an immediate response, and it was loud enough for Riku to hear as he remained silent. I thought that I would be deafened by the sound of my heart beating effusively against my chest, but it didn't. I think that that was because I knew he would only interpret it as friends and I'm okay with that. Just as long as he knows how much he means to me, things will be okay.

He exhaled slowly as I awaited a reaction from the silent silverette. Ever so slowly, he began to swivel from his position on the tree to finally turn and face me. Teal eyes stared directly into my azure with a graceful grateful expression. There was a small smile on his lips as he hopped off the tree with ease and began to progress towards me. It was now that my heart started to race but not dramatically so.

Once he stood directly in front of me, he laid a willing cold hand atop my shoulder and caused me to shiver involuntary in response. A slightly shaking finger was brought to my face to wipe a couple of stray hairs away from my eyes. I leaned into his welcoming hand and inhaled his unique scent of the ocean. Riku put his face forwards and exhaled deeply onto my ear before removing his hand and wrapping his arms around my waist. Automatically I returned his embrace and wrapped my arms around him too, thankful that he now seemed somewhat approachable.

"You know that I love you too right?" He murmured into my ear lightly. I nodded in response, not trusting myself to speak. Deep down I did know that Riku still loved me, it was clear by the way he opened some things up to me and the way he's hiding some things from me. He wants to protect me but he's finding it hard to hold back all of what he wants to tell me. I didn't look at it as though he built walls to block others out, but instead be built gates. Gates where you can see that there is a problem but you can't actually get to it because of the shiny bars preventing you from doing so.

Somewhere above me I heard him chuckle calmly. "Its funny how that after all these years, my feelings for you haven't changed. I don't think they could even if I wanted them to." Maybe it was my own paranoia, but he sounded slightly… remorseful. As though he doesn't want to have this friendship with me. Mentally shaking it off, I basked in the presence of Riku… being this close to him in a nice and comfortable surrounding.

"I've really missed you Riku," I mumbled, the sound muffled because my face was pressed into his firm shoulder. Riku seemed to understand me as his cheek moved against the side of my face as a nod.

"You have no idea." He whispered surprisingly happy. Neither of us wanted to break apart but when Riku sighed, I knew we had to break up our comfortable embrace. He looked back down at me and smiled a genuine serene smile which I missed so much. I returned the response and when I felt my cheeks redden with blood, Riku laughed softly and warmly, just like old times. "How did you know I would be here?"

"I don't know exactly. I looked for you for hours, I knew that I had to when Lo-" I stopped, not knowing if saying that one of his own cousins couldn't be bothered to find him would make him sad or apathetic again. "When I found out."

He nodded once then looked off into the horizon. "Let's go sit on the beach; I want to look at the stars." He commanded more than asked to me. "We can talk there." Riku began to walk the bridge without me, taking slow deliberate steps and looking around as though he was memorizing everything. I followed after him straight away, still not trusting when he said that we'd 'talk' once we got to the beach. It couldn't be _this_ easy to get Riku to talk to me, I mean, it is Riku after all. Mr. 'I'd-rather-suffer-in-silence'. I took of my shoes once we reached sand, and sat next to Riku as we watched and gazed at the stars and the sea.

It was so calm… so peaceful. There were no sounds of cars or people and there was nothing to prevent us from looking at the glimmering crystals in the sky. I was more of a day time person, but Riku, he's always loved the night, especially on this beach. And now I can see why. It was so beautiful here, the moon seemed closer and the stars seemed brighter. All that could be heard was the soft sea drifting along with the warm wind.

Riku sat with both arms wrapped around the one knee that was drawn up to him whilst his other leg stretched out in front of him. Despite wanting to look up at the stars, he kept his gaze solely on the view ahead of him, solely on the other islands. He knew he would have to go back sometime, but the thought didn't seem to bother him so much. Like this was a regular thing. I sat with both legs stretched out and my palms moulded deep into the sand next to my hips. We sat like that in silence for a couple of minutes, every now and then my eyes would wander to see if he had changed or was about to speak. But he didn't. It was now that I finally looked over Riku's current attire.

He wore the same thing he wore when I saw him at the hospital: a white vest top which showed the contours of his body perfectly and a simple pair of blue tracksuit pants and some old sneakers. He looked like he was about to go running or something.

My mouth was just itching to start the conversation… but no matter how I started it in my head, I knew he wouldn't answer. I would have to wait until he is ready to speak. Instead I tried a different approach. "What was it that made you come here?" I questioned him, bringing us out of this silence.

He lifted one shoulder carelessly as a shrug. "I wanted to go somewhere where I _knew_ I couldn't be found. Somewhere where I used to be happy. Before I knew it, I was on my old boat and paddling here straight after I left the hospital." He answered simply. "I don't know why I do this, I just do." He continued without me asking him to. "It's just when I think about my brother and cousins, I get so angry and I want to do something to make them realize that I _am_ still here and that I _do_ exist."

"You think that they don't care about you." It wasn't a question, and Riku knew this. He snorted quietly, disbelievingly.

"I _know_ that they don't care about me. Think about it Sora, when your dad left you alone in the house he left you and Roxas some munny to get by right?" I nodded guiltily, "Even then, Leon still came over to make sure you guys were okay. Sephiroth doesn't care about what happens to me. If he did then he wouldn't ma-" Riku cut himself off abruptly and paused. "He would have stayed here or ensured that I was okay or something. I don't even know what world he was in. Hell, he could have been in Destiny Islands all this time and I wouldn't have known." He exclaimed calmly. Why is he always so calm when explaining things? If this happened to be I would be frustrated and showing my anger.

"What about your cousins? Surely they must care about you?" I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Riku believes that his own family doesn't care about him.

"Kadaj and Yazoo hang on Sephiroth's every word. Especially Kadaj. They're hardly in the house as it because of all their businesses and such."

"How mad was Yazoo when he found out about Scarlets?" Yazoo owns a coffee place opposite Scarlets. The normal type where it's aimed at an older more… quiet market who just want to relax and have a nice hot drink and somewhere to sit. So unlike Scarlets (which is rapidly becoming one of the most popular coffee shops in Destiny Islands). As I looked at him from the corner of my eye I noticed a wide grin across Riku's face as he chuckled quietly to himself. "What?" I smiled too, unable to hide it from seeing Riku's one.

"'Mad' doesn't seem like the right word, furious and irate perhaps. Yazoo especially hates Reno; the two can't so much as walk down the street without having a go at each other. That's why I help out Reno whenever I can."

"You work at Scarlets?" I asked incredulously. I wouldn't want to think about what it would be like for Riku to have to work under the same roof as Roxas.

Riku shook his head. "I don't get paid or anything. I'm not interested in his money. I just clean up or step in when he's running low on staff." Now that _does_ sound like Riku – anything sneaky to get back at his family. "I bet you think that I'm a horrible person?" He asked and didn't even give me the chance to answer before continuing. "It's okay. I know that I am."

"I could never think that you're a horrible person Riku. You've just had a lot to deal with on your own. It's understandable that you're acting out."

"Yeah but I know what I'm doing. I get so angry sometimes and I can't help it. I want them to see how much they're hurting me; I want them to know that I'm not okay." I noticed that he began to grip the sand with a free hand but his voice remained calm as always. "I can't talk to them because they don't listen and they don't know what its like for me. I feel like I'm going through this whole thing on my own." He paused and began to look back off in the direction of our old favorite tree. "Loz isn't that great of help either." He continued after a while. "Do you know how I know that it was him who told you?" A little bit shocked that he knew, I shook my head anyway to answer his question. At first I didn't think he saw me because he was looking in the other direction, but he continued nonetheless. "Whenever this happens, he's the only one who looks for me. He doesn't force me to come home or anything. Actually he finds the whole thing amusing. He thinks that I've got some guts for trashing all of Seph's stuff continuously. But he always tries to get me to run away or something."

I screwed up my facial expression, but Riku didn't see. "Why would he want you to do that?"

"Because he's insane. Just like his brothers. They all strive to gain Sephiroth's attention. It's like every time Sephiroth takes a step, an invisible hoop will form and one of them will try their damned hardest to jump through it for him. Seph knows this, he relishes in the fact that they all want to be like him, but he acts like he doesn't so that they try even harder. I remember when it was November and it was Seph's birthday. He asked me to be home specifically at a certain time so that we could celebrate it properly like a 'family'." Riku spat the last word out venomously, rolling his teal eyes as he did so.

"That same day I got a text from Kadaj telling me to be in the house no later or earlier that ten, even though Sephiroth told me to be back by seven. Anyways, I came back at ten just like Kadaj said, only to find him waiting for me at the door. I remember that day perfectly, it was already raining before I reached the door, I was soaked in rain but happy to be back home. I tried to open the door and that evil bastard was waiting for me." Riku now began to grip the sand harder as he talked about his cousin. "I remember the look he gave me; I remember the smirk that was on his face as he locked the front door. My shouts and cries didn't get to any of the others in the house, not that they would have paid attention anyways. I remember trying to get into the shed but that was locked too. It turned out that they thought of everything. My old tree house was boarded; there was no way I could get to any of the windows…

… So I came to this island and slept in the Secret Place. I came here because I felt safe… but not complete. I was scared and lonely, I mean, I was only fifteen, I had no where else to go. I wanted to go to your house, but it had been nearly over a year since we spoke. And I know that you're not to blame for that – I am! I am because I'm so stupid!" Throughout his entire rant I've been trying to get his attention by calling his name but he was too lost in his own thoughts to hear me. "- I can't believe how stupid I've been. I should have never of let him get to me like that. I should have been stronger… I should have done _something_ you know? Anything to defend myself but I didn't – I _didn't!_"

He was rambling about something I really couldn't understand and because he couldn't hear my cries, I gripped his hand and forced it onto my own. The tight grasp didn't lessen any but I was grateful that he stopped babbling. I didn't like the way his voice began to grow slightly hysteric, but it was better than the apathetic one he's been keeping up for far too long. By grabbing his hand, I was able to force his eyes onto my own; he looked a little bit shocked as he looked into my eyes. "It's okay," I encouraged soothingly.

With his free hand he forced a couple of bangs away from his eyes, only for them to take place there again. "It's not okay though," He murmured distressingly then bowed his head to face the sand below him. "If I was stronger than I wouldn't have lost you." He whispered almost incoherently.

"You haven't lost me," I replied. He could never lose me. Sometimes we may take different paths and not see each other for a while, but we were always supposed to come back to each other. He's a runner and I'm a chaser – no matter what our paths will always connect and we'll always see each other again. "I'll never give up on you Riku."

"Sora," he breathed sullenly and looked back up to me with resolute aquamarine eyes. "You don't know what happened to make me leave you and the gang. Did you ever even ponder that whatever the reason is would make you hate everything about me?"

"Never," I breathed. "Riku, you need to understand that I could never hate you. I love you and I mean that."

From where I still held his hand, I could feel him shaking slightly. Was I finally going to get what I've been craving for all those years? Would I finally be hearing the truth behind the reason why he left? That muscle I call a heart picked up its beating pace as Riku looked back at me with tired and remorseful teal eyes. "I guess you want to know huh?" He nodded once without waiting for my answer, and focused his gaze back on the ocean. A sigh released his pale pink lips, and then he retrieved his hand from my own and stood abruptly from the sand. I heard a faint snapping sound from my heart as I thought that he was trying to run away from the conversation, but when he held his hand out for me to take, I knew that I had nothing to worry about.

I took his hand, grateful for the leverage, and smiled secretly as he interlaced our fingers again and gave them a firm squeeze. "Let's go to the Secret Place." He suggested whilst keeping his gaze skywards. "It looks as though it's going to start raining."

"Okay," I whispered, trusting him completely. I felt it back when I was on the other islands, that chill wind that suggested that the weather was about to take a turn. It wasn't uncommon for the weather to just turn when it feels like it in Destiny Islands, it was just rare a year. You could always tell when the weather was about to change which is why I am grateful that we were going somewhere where there would be shelter.

With our hands in tact, we reached the mouth of the small cave and the familiar smell of dampness and musk filled my senses. We didn't stop and instead went straight through the dark throat (Where Riku had to crouch down for the most part) and finally reached the stomach of the cave. Our only source of light was from the luminous moonlight which creaked through the cracks atop the cave, though the cracks weren't wide enough to allow the rain to seep through, so we were okay.

Riku let go of my hand and began to walk to the sides of the caves where various chalk markings decorated the brown grey rocks. His hands wondrously touched one picture before he moved to the next and touched the next one. I was afraid that I was so close to hearing what I've wanted to hear for so long, that, when he didn't speak again, I grew slightly nervous. It was clear in my eyes that I was nervous, but the silverette didn't see as he continued to scan the images then stopped on one specific one. He sighed and then began to speak again.

"She's really… headstrong you know?" I walked over to Riku before he even started speaking and focused my cerulean eyes to look at the picture he was looking at. I remembered it instantly: it was when we were only seven years old, Kairi had just moved to the islands over a year and we were already best friends. She drew a picture of me (which wasn't very good) and I drew one of her (which was even worse). What I didn't recognize however, was the large Papou fruit soaring over our heads, from her to me. I stared slightly flabbergasted at the image, when had she drawn that? I looked back up at Riku and noticed a distressed look on his face. "Do you ever think that she'll forgive me?" he asked doubtfully.

I nodded enthusiastically, "But you're right, Kairi is headstrong. It'll take more than an apology to win her over." I tried as a way to get him to pick up on where we left off. Unfortunately Riku is skilled at avoiding my feeble attempts.

"Are you two still very close?" There was something in Riku's voice that suggested that he was implying something more than what he was letting on.

"Of course, she's my best friend." I answered nonchalantly, "But that's all we are."

He raised a silver brow, not looking at me once. "You seem… disappointed."

I had to let out a laugh at that. Riku seemed slightly jealous and when he looked at me with an incredulous look, I couldn't help but laugh a little bit more. "Nothing is going to happen between me and Kairi, She's not my type and I'm obviously not hers. Besides, there is… sort of someone else I'm interested in." Nervously I looked up to Riku to see if he noticed the harsh blush that swept across my face. But he didn't. He looked… disappointed as he stared at the ground. The sight of him like this made me want to reach out and know if he was okay, but for some reason I stopped myself.

"Oh," he said sullenly then walked away from the wall, only to sit on the dusty floor on the other side of the cave. I didn't follow him and instead decided to watch as he drew both knees up and rocked lightly back and forth on the heels of his feet. "That's good," he murmured, "good that you found someone you like… I'm happy for you."

"Riku-" I stopped myself abruptly and forced my heart to control itself. If it had its own way, it would have had blurted out to Riku right then and there how I truly felt for him. I don't know if either of us could handle my confession. I don't think I could handle it if I watched him walk away from me again.

"You know, I always thought that you and Kairi would get together, I've seen the way she looks at you." He admitted almost silently. "She looks at you like she really likes you… like you two were supposed to be together or something. I remember when we used to come to this playing island almost everyday, and she'd always want to spend time with you. I used to get so… jealous." He confessed with a chuckle. Riku was jealous of me for spending time with Kairi? Riku likes Kairi? "Sounds stupid huh? Jealous of one of my best friends." He sneered, but I was too lost in my own thoughts to hear if he said anything after that.

Even back then, there were signs that she liked _him_ but he never reciprocated. It was hard to tell if Riku liked anyone, in fact, it was _impossible_ to tell if Riku liked anyone. The only way you could tell is if he told you – and he never did. Ever. But I never expected him to like _Kairi_ in that way. When we were younger, there always seemed to be this uncomfortable space which separated the two from each other, and though they did love each other, they did argue a lot between themselves.

The frustrated sigh which released itself from Riku's lips was all that was needed to bring me out of my reverie and this time I looked down to see Riku staring at me intensively. "I used to do it on purpose you know?"

One of my eye brows arched upwards. "What?" I leaned against the wall opposite him and joined him on the floor.

"Compete with you, compete with Kairi." His apathetic tone of voice was back, it sounded as though he had completely given up. I didn't like it at all, but I didn't want him to stop either. "I used to compete with you because I wanted to spend more time with you. It sounds stupid now because we used to _always_ be together, but I – I don't know. I liked having you all to myself. I liked hanging out when it was just you and me. Do you remember that time when I challenged you to a race throughout my house?"

I smiled. "Do you mean the time when _I_ ended up getting a sprained ankle and _you_ ended up fracturing your wrist." Riku was laughing lowly to himself as I spoke because I was clearly indicating that it was his fault that that happened. "I remember falling over your skateboard and down the stairs that lead to your basement and I remember you falling over me when you tried to find out what happened." I grinned so wide at the memory.

"I remember the look on our parents faces when they had to take us to hospital." Riku interjected, trying to control his laughter but not succeeding very well. "And- and I remember when you had to walk on those crutches and you had that big cast of your foot. You couldn't walk for like a month."

"I'm glad that you find this so amusing." He knew that I wasn't mad at him because I couldn't stop myself from laughing either. It felt good to hear Riku like this, so happy and care-free.

Riku tried to regain composure then looked at me with a smile. "I loved those days. You know, getting into trouble and just generally having fun." Then he looked down as the atmosphere became slightly more serious. "I missed being able to have that with you, that special connection. And after Kairi and the rest joined… I don't know I just got jealous. So instead of competing with you all the time I began competing with Kairi. We both knew what we were doing though we would never admit it. Over the years I felt like I was losing you and I really didn't want to, and you seemed to be getting closer to Kairi so I tried to get your attention whenever I could…"

Interrupting Riku was the one thing that I did not want to do, especially now that he was opening up, but there was something that has been bothering me for a while now and I keep on getting the urge to bring it up every time he says the redhead's name. "Riku," I started slightly nervously, I wasn't sure how he would react to my question. "When you first left us… what happened between you and Kairi? I know that she came to see you but…"

"You mean she didn't tell you?" He asked vaguely surprised. I shook my head and he sighed. "Yeah, she came to see me. She wanted to confront me about… everything really. Kairi refused to leave my house until we got something sorted because what I was doing wasn't fair. I know that it wasn't but if I knew back then, then…" he sighed and pulled at his silver strands. "We mostly stayed in my room. She shouted at me, she cried she even begged me. The entire night I didn't say anything. I just sat there and listened. She told me everything… she told me that you weren't coping well at all. That you refused to speak to anyone and that you were blocking everyone out – just like what I was doing. She really wanted me to come back because she said that she really liked me. She told me how much I meant to her – how much I meant to all of you…

… And I just sat there. I didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell her the reason behind it; I knew that it would only make her hate me even more. She told me that she understands that I'm grieving and that I may need some time but this wasn't the way to do it. There were times when I acted like a child and covered my ears so that I couldn't hear all of what she was saying to me. It hurt to know that I was causing you guys so much pain. I never wanted to do that to you guys. Ever. And at the time if I could help it then I would have but-but I couldn't…

…When I tried to block Kairi out she got really mad and started yelling at me. I didn't care if anyone in the house heard her, she had - _has_ every right to be angry at me. I remember the look on her face when I refused to listen, she was so… I remember muttering a 'sorry' before she slapped me. I knew that an apology was the last thing she wanted from me, but it was all I could offer. Don't look like that Sora, I deserved it."

"No you didn't!" I retorted instantaneously. "No matter how angry anyone gets they never have the right to hit anyone." Especially not him. Kairi had gone way too far.

"Like I said: headstrong." Riku sighed once more, obviously finding talking about the past very hard. "Sora it's honestly okay. I should have never treated you guys like that. I really did dese-"

"Would you stop it Riku!?" I cried and rose from my seat on the floor, looking at him with complete determination. I hated hearing him like this, as though he deserves punishment for something that was most likely not his fault. "I know what you're thinking and you don't deserve this. Don't keep putting yourself through this, I hate hearing you like this."

His eyes were forced shut. "Sora," he breathed, but I cut him off before he could continue.

I couldn't keep the emotion from my voice any longer, and with every word I said my voice grew louder and angrier. "Don't 'Sora' me! Riku please, just tell me what happened. Tell me why you left me. Why are you hiding things from me? Why won't you come back to me?"

"BECAUSE I'M AFRAID! OKAY? I'M _AFRAID_!"

And there it was.

The big crack right in the centre of his façade. The truth, the reasons, the real Riku was now seeping through the perfect mask. Finally I'll be getting an insight into what has happened to him over the past fours years. Finally I will be getting the answers and the secrets that he's been hiding for so long.

Riku rose abruptly onto his feet as he shouted. He looked back at me with shocked teal eyes then he immediately began progressing towards me. "I'm sorry," he whispered, "I didn't mean to shout, I shouldn't have…" He forced his aquamarine eyes behind his eyelids again and tried to get away back the way he came. Unfortunately for him my hand caught hold of his own and forced him to stay in the same spot. When he realized that I wasn't letting go, he exhaled deeply before speaking softly. "Sora-I-I-"

"Shhhh," I silenced him softly so that I could soothe his slightly faster breathing. I brought my free hand up to stroke the side of his face and forced it to look in my direction, but his eyes wouldn't open. His grip on my hand tightened so I interlaced our fingers, happy that he reciprocated and squeezed gently. I continued stroking the side of his smooth face and awaited those amazing orbs to look back at me… But they never did open. I lead Riku back to where he was sitting before and sat him down with me right next to him, our hands in tact.

All that could be heard throughout the cave was Riku's deep breathing and the heavy patters of rain beating down on the hollow rock we were held captive in. I took a very bold move and rested my head on top of his shoulder, once again drowning merrily in his exceptional scent. Riku seemed to be a lot calmer than previously and I was so pleased that I didn't have to fight for him to stay. He held tightly onto my hand, as I did his, as I waited for him to speak. After a couple of minutes the silence was broken. "I really am sorry Sora. Not just for the reasons you think, but for what I'm about to tell you as well. Do you promise you won't walk away from me once I tell you? I don't think I'll be able to take anymore of this if you left me right now."

I gave him all he needed: My word. "I promise." My hand squeezed his gently for reassurance.

He heaved a sigh and opened his eyes, looking at the graphitized wall in front of us. "I started acting out the day after the funeral. I was so… _mad_." He subconsciously gripped my hand tighter as he said the last word, but I didn't care – as long as he was getting through this with me nothing else mattered. "And confused. How could he act so… _calm_? After making me look at them-" He paused and shivered violently before forcefully shaking it off. It was most likely at the thought of seeing his deceased parents. Hell even I nearly shivered, though, I kept strong for Riku. "Sephiroth told me not to make a scene at the funeral or I'll be punished. He told me that I should be strong and not show any signs of weakness in front of everyone. It was so hard… but I managed. Barely. After that… I changed. I wasn't coming home. I wasn't eating. I couldn't talk to anyone… I couldn't do it. You know, this, you were there. You were there when I skipped lunch or school all together. It was just so much to deal with. I didn't know how I was getting by; I missed my parents so much…

… So about a week after the funeral, Sephiroth locked me in my room with him in it. He told me that enough was enough and that something had to be done about my attitude. At first I thought he was going to hurt me or something… but he didn't. He actually surprised me… he wanted to talk. He admitted to me that he hasn't been a good big brother lately and I stupidly believed him. I believed every word. He waited patiently on my bed for me to speak, and when I did, I couldn't help but break down. I cried and cried and I told him _exactly_ how I've been feeling. I told him how lonely I felt; I told him how disgusted I was with what he made me do – what he made me look at." Another shiver. "And… and I told him something else, something that I've never told anyone before and it had been eating at me for a while – It still is to be honest. I thought that he would understand and be there for me, you know? Be a big brother."

Riku sniffed and I could tell that he was fighting back tears. The pain he felt from all these years of torture from his brother and cousins were evident in his voice. There were times when I wanted him to stop, purely because the pain in his voice was almost unbearable, but I knew – I just _knew_ that talking about this with someone who actually _cared_ would be good for him. So I allowed him to continue without interruptions.

"I remember him staring at me the entire time with a blank fucking face, not saying anything to me. Not once did he show any emotion or any sign that he was going to be there for me. Comfort me. Be the big fucking brother that he said he would. He just stared at me. After my confession I didn't say anything else. I asked for his advice and he didn't say anything. I asked for his help and he just stared at me. I knew then that it was all just a rouse, a way to get me to talk so that he could –" Riku groaned and pried his hands away from mine so that he could rake them through the roots of his hair. His fingers tugged at the innocent strands furiously as he bowed his head and brought both legs closer to himself. I didn't say anything – I didn't know if there was anything that I could say. I hated feeling this useless when Riku was in so much pain.

After a couple of minutes of breathing, Riku decided to continue in a more softer, relaxed tone, but the frustration and hurt was still residing in his voice. "There was nothing on his face that gave away what he was about to do when he was ready to react to all of what I had told him. The pain of when he hit me so hard across my face couldn't compare to the pain when I felt when he told me that I was a disgrace. A disgrace to my mother and a shame to my father." Riku laughed hysterically without humor and the sound scared me. It was like he was a completely different person. "How could he say that to me? I couldn't understand why he hated me so much. He was supposed to be my _fucking brother_. He was supposed to look after me…

… I'll never forget the way his cold hands gripped my face straight afterwards and forced me to look in his eyes. It looked like he was getting enjoyment out of the whole fucking thing! He leaned in close and whispered to me that I was so disgusting that you and the others wouldn't want to go anywhere near me. He warned me away from you, told me that someone like me didn't deserve to be near people like you guys. He forced me not to go near you guys otherwise _serious_ reprimands would have to be made, not only on me, but on you too. I couldn't allow him to do that. I wouldn't. I didn't care what happened to me, he could do whatever the hell he wants, but if he ever touched you… I would have never forgiven myself."

The sound in Riku's voice told me that he was crying, and prompted some unnoticeable translucent tears to slide down my cheeks slowly. Riku was trembling and I have _never_ seen him like this before. The words died in my throat every time I thought of something to say. Nothing could remedy this feeling of hopelessness that I was receiving, just as nothing I could do would ease the pain Riku was suffering. He kept his head buried in his knees as he tried to control his breathing.

So many things were running through my mind. I didn't even know why _I_ was crying. It was just so… emotional. I wiped the tears away and wrapped an arm around Riku. His skin was cold against mine as I tried to offer him as much support as possible. Inside I was furious. What the hell is wrong with his family? He was only fourteen when this whole thing happened. He needed support, he needed his brother, he needed… needed a friend. A new wind of guilt slapped me hard across the face. Riku was right; I _was_ there and I _could_ see that there was something wrong.

Even before his parents passed I could tell that there was something bothering Riku. It was like he was trying to distance himself from me before hand, but then two weeks after they passed and he was gone completely. I should have seen something like this coming. I should have tried harder. I should have been that friend that he needed.

I gripped his shoulder and began running my thumb over the exposed skin. I leaned in close to his hair covered ear. "Riku…" I whispered, "please look at me." My plead was so silent that even I didn't hear it properly. My voice sounded weak and my heart began to ache for Riku. I needed him to look at me for reasons I didn't know myself. At first he didn't move but once I whispered another "please" desperately in his ear, his head slowly began to rise.

The second his gaze met mine, my hand instantly went to wipe the offending tears off his face. He watched me the entire time with an expression I didn't know. Once I finished, Riku made a move to start speaking again but I silenced him just as quickly. "You don't have to continue." I started softly, "if you think it's going to be too much Riku you don't have to go on. I shouldn't have – I didn't mean to… I'm so sorry, I- I-"

"-Sora," he interrupted firmly yet calm as always. "It's okay, honestly, I want to continue." He reassured me with the small smile that was on his face encouragingly. It was genuine and I knew it, but I don't know if I would be able to hear anymore. If I hated hearing him hating himself, then I can't think of another way to describe how I feel about when he's upset. Riku could see that I was worried about what was going to come out of his mouth next, but he continued nonetheless, keeping the same serene tone that he usually does.

"So I tried to stay away, I really did, but I couldn't. I became a man obsessed. I would watch you guys talking to each other and I would even follow you sometimes." He admitted shamefully. "I just… I missed the little things that I would usually take for granted or not even notice. I missed; joining in on Selphie's plans, listening to Wakka and Tidus have their annual arguments, Kairi cracking jokes and looking out for us. And I missed you. You have no idea how much I've missed you Sora. It was killing me watching you guys from afar conversing and being happy without me." He laughed guiltily at himself. "I know it sounds selfish, but I was happy that you guys were happy. I was just… jealous."

It felt weird hearing Riku call himself jealous so freely. In all the years I've known him, he would never call himself jealous. He would always have too much pride and allow his ego to get in his way. Though now… hearing him explain things like this was so _unreal_, I never expected him to open up like this and I couldn't help but wonder what it was that actually made him tell me everything.

"I hated being so close but being so far at the same time. I wanted to know what you guys were talking about, if you were happy or sad, what you planned on doing for the weekend. Everything. I didn't want to do anything that would tempt my brother though. You know what Seph is like, once he makes his word to something, he keeps it. So occasionally I followed you guys because I wanted to make sure that you were okay and coping well. I'm not proud of it, I know that I made my bed and should lie in it but… I couldn't help it. I remember this one time when I followed you guys to a party or something a couple of years ago. Kairi was drunk beyond belief. I saw her wander off somewhere and when no one was going after her… I followed her to make sure that she was okay. Then this guy started hitting on her and she didn't like it. So I stepped in. That was the first contact we had had in _years_. She didn't recognize who I was though; I was completely covered so that you guys couldn't tell…

…Before I stepped in for Kairi though, it seemed that she _kind of_ had the whole thing under control. Kind of. She was a little ill tempered with the man and nearly did have a fight with him. But I got there in time. That was when I realized that you guys really didn't need me anymore, you had each other and you could look after yourselves. I didn't want to face it but I did. That was the same night I trashed the house for the first time. At first it started off with me being so angry at Sephiroth that I smashed the nearest thing in the house. That feeling of release, Sora, after so long was _amazing_. I couldn't stop, I ripped papers, threw things around, smashed glass – everything! Then Kadaj and Yazoo came home whilst I was doing all of that…

…They tried to stop me, to come near me, but I wouldn't let them. I threw glass at them – I threw whatever I could to get them the hell away from me. I was _so_ angry. Then Loz came out of no where and grabbed me from behind. I kicked and yelled and struggled with all my might to get out of his grasp. Needless to say that he's a _lot_ stronger than me. Then Kadaj came forward and punched me square in the face and knocked me out. The bastard. They didn't even carry me to my room. Nope. They left me on the kitchen floor and when I woke up the next morning Sephiroth was waiting for me on one of the seats. He had that same look in his eyes the night I told him – "Riku cut himself abruptly then continued instantly. "I knew I was in trouble, but what makes Sephiroth so _frustrating_ is that you can't tell what he's about to do…

…But he didn't _do_ anything. He didn't say anything. He just watched me like I was nothing more than the oxygen right in front of his face. I remember waking up and smelling that disgusting copper taste – the taste of blood. It was dry though and leaked all the way from my nose down to my mouth and clothes. I didn't regard Sephiroth with an explanation or an apology. I didn't really give a fuck what he had to say or do to me anyway; he had already ruined my life. I got up from the floor and went to the sink to wash the blood away, my nose hurt like hell, as well, but I didn't want to show Sephiroth. Once I wiped it away, I looked back at Sephiroth only to find that he was gone."

Throughout the rest of his story Riku kept calm and allowed the words to flow fluently out of his mouth. The tears were long gone but unfortunately for him the memories behind them were not. As he spoke he looked at me sometimes to see my expression at the bits he knew I would find shocking. I still couldn't comprehend _how_ his own family could abuse and bully him like this. It wasn't right and it instantly made me cherish how good I have it with both Leon and Roxas. The gasps threw themselves out my mouth when he revealed to me that it was _he_ who had helped Kairi and when Kadaj made him unconscious. However, I kept my thankful and raging thoughts to myself. If I spoke them aloud now, Riku would have never continued.

"They hired someone to fix all the broken stuff and replace all of which could not be fixed. Not one of them spoke to me for an entire week. Maybe even longer, I can't remember. That was around the same time I started not to come home anymore and spent all my time on the beach. I couldn't take this empty feeling in my heart anymore. I felt like there was no one on this earth who loved me and running away did seem like a good idea at the time. I would be able to start again, probably find someone who I knew would reciprocate my love. But I couldn't… Destiny Islands is my home. My school is here, my memories are here… you're here." If I was able to see in the dark, I would be pretty sure that Riku was blushing very _very_ faintly, because I was, though, mine was very _very _deep. Thank God for darkness. "Eventually I went back home one day after school for like the first time in forever. Sephiroth was waiting for me in the living room with the other three, Professor Ansem and some other guy I didn't know. I thought that the Professor came down to talk about my attendance in school, but he didn't. They wanted to talk about my _future_."

There was something about the way Riku said the last word that made something in my stomach turn in the wrong way. A wary expression was clear on his face as he looked at me with curious aquamarine orbs. He looked at me as though he was waiting for me to react or something but I didn't. Of course I was curious to know what he was going to say but the way he looked at me was like _now_ was something more than a story.

"Oh God," I whispered once realization settled in. "This is it isn't it? This is the 'big secret' isn't it?" Riku merely nodded, uncertainty marring his saintly face. "Okay," I breathed, "I'm ready." The truth was that I didn't know if I was ready or not. For the past couple of days I've been craving nothing more than to know what this big secret _everyone_ has been keeping from me. I remember the things I've heard (eavesdropped) about this.

I remember Riku telling Zexion that it would 'devastate' me if I found out. I remember him telling Lulu this morning that I would hate him if I knew. I remember Riku yelling at Professor Ansem about he couldn't take anymore. The thing I couldn't shake off the most though was how Riku would get upset whenever I tried to talk about it. How he would always tell me that he couldn't tell me and how he would always try and run away from the conversation. Am I _really _prepared to hear what he has to say?

"They sat me down on one of the couches. Sephiroth right by my side. The rest of them watched me: Professor Ansem with a smile once I walked into the room, Loz looking quite amused," Riku rolled his eyes "Kadaj glaring at me slightly, Yazoo waiting patiently. Then there was Sephiroth, not showing any emotion at _all_. He watched the other man I didn't know expectantly, waiting for him to speak. I sat there waiting for someone to tell me what the hell was going on. They were speaking amongst themselves before I entered, but the minute that I did, they were all silent. The man introduced himself as Seymour. He had crazy blue hair which stuck out _everywhere _and apparently he was good friends with Sephiroth. It didn't surprise me because the man had the same type of stance as Sephiroth, but then again it did surprise me because I never thought Sephiroth would have friends." He joked sadly.

"Seymour said that he was from Midgar and said that he was part of an organization which dealt with 'troubled teenagers'." Riku laughed humorlessly. "They all thought that I was stupid, I mean, I was only in ninth grade but I could tell what they were getting at. It was all because I trashed the house and had to be taken down by force. It's because I don't follow them and their stupid rules. It wasn't an organization. Seymour was from SOLDIER in Midgar." My heart stopped completely. "I told them straight up to cut the crap and get to the point. Only professor Ansem and Seymour looked taken aback by my hostility. Sephiroth merely cleared his throat and gave Seymour an 'I-told-you-so' look…

…Seymour kept up the whole politeness act though it was clear he didn't like me at all." Riku smiled, obviously content with himself that he managed to get underneath someone's skin. "They talked to me throughout the entire night. I didn't say one word at all. Seymour told me all about SOLDIER. He told me about the facilities, the training programs, what type of people get in there. They showed me pictures and videos of what it would be like. They were all eager for me to go, especially my cousins. At first Professor Ansem wasn't sure whether it was a good idea or not, especially because I was still in high school and I still had all my exams to do. But once he found out that the school will benefit from making me work harder so that I get the best grades possible, he agreed and they all worked out a plan…

… It was all set. I didn't have a say in any part of it. I sat there and watched, watched as they all planned my life ahead of me and acted as though I wasn't even in the room. I should have known that something like this would have happened. Sephiroth… he has a habit of making people join the army, even if he _knows _that it's the wrong thing for them. He's been doing it for years. He does it to get rid of the people he can't control or don't look up to him. I hate him so much; he doesn't understand how many lives he's devastated by doing this… Then, after all the arrangements were made, they made me sign some papers to confirm that I was happy with this. I wouldn't have to start until I was eighteen…" Riku sighed in remorse then looked back at me, but I didn't look at him… I couldn't. I could just imagine the look on his face as he looked at me. I knew it was a mixture of fear and regret. "_Sora_…" He breathed solemnly, desperately. The sound instantly made my heart crack and a single tear to roll out of each eye. "Please look at me." He whispered pleadingly.

I couldn't.

I wanted to... _Gods_ how I wanted to look at him and tell him it's alright. Tell him that we could get through this. Try and make him smile that smile of his which I love so much. I wanted to… but I couldn't and Riku knew why. He knew how much I, like my older brother, hated war. He knew that I didn't see the point of killing people for a world that allows such violence. He knew that I never wanted him or anyone to be a part of something like this. And yet it's happening. It's happening to the one person I could ever feel this way about. It's happening to someone who doesn't want this for himself, who got forced into it. It's happening to Riku, _my_ Riku. Riku was going to become one of the people in the world I hated. He was going against everything I stand for.

I wanted to walk away and have some time to myself to think, but my promise, my word, made me stay in my place. Silent and still. I could feel Riku's eyes watching me… begging me to do something, say something. It was an awkward turn of events and an even more awkward time for role reversal. It's usually him not speaking and me begging to get him to talk, to say something. Is this how he felt for all those years? Wanting to say something so bad, but just _couldn't_? I immediately felt guilty, I should be there to comfort him and be there for him, not be silent and ignore his cries for help.

Riku sniffed quietly and slumped down dejectedly so that his nose was resting heavily on my cheekbone. He sighed deeply, hot breath spreading itself across my cold cheek. "I'm sorry," he said weakly in a voice that was barely above a whisper. "I understand." He placed a timid kiss on my cold cheek to say goodbye. I didn't blush and my heart didn't rush as they usually would in situations like this. No. My blood drained from my face as soon as he told me that he would be joining the army, and it appears that it had left my entire body as I suddenly felt very cold. I felt even colder, though, when Riku quickly got up from his seat and began to walk away, back outside into the cold rain and wind.

"Wait." My word was cold and hard, I didn't want to act like this, but I couldn't even place a happy reassuring tone on. Riku stopped but didn't look at me. I wanted to ask him to stay and be with me through this. But I couldn't. I wanted to make sense of this – of his brother. But I couldn't. Or could I? If I had known what it was that made Sephiroth flip out so much on Riku then maybe I could make sense of it. I asked him the only thing I could. The only thing I knew he was deliberately adamant about not talking about "What was it that you told Sephiroth? What did you tell him that no one else knows?" It was a surprise to me the level of blandness and seriousness that took over my voice. It was cold and hard, I don't think I've ever sounded like this before.

Riku froze as though he had stopped breathing. His hand clenched into fists at his sides. I knew what he was about to do and I wouldn't let him – he _wasn't_ getting out of this. "What does it-"

"It matters to me!" I cried defiantly, showing him that I _needed _to know. As I raised my voice to him I couldn't stop the incessant tears to escape my eyes and the sudden sobs to escape my mouth.

Riku sighed for the umpteenth time, releasing the breath he had been holding on for so long. "I told him…" A pause and a stressed hand to run through stressed strands. Slowly he turned to face me, hands still gripping the back of his head whilst silent tears flowed effortlessly down his smooth face. I almost gasped at the sight alone of his broken languid stature. This wasn't how Riku was supposed to look. Especially because of me.

"I told him that I thought I was falling in love." If I thought my heart cracked earlier on I definitely felt it shatter into tiny little fragile pieces. I closed my eyes tightly, not wanting Riku to see how much emotional pain I was in, not wanting to face the truth.

"_I was falling in love with you, Sora._"

My blue orbs opened only to find an empty space. I was alone with only the sad sound of my crying to keep me company.

**:: ::**

**AN: **Wow. This has definitely been my favourite chapter to write. Just… wow. _Soooo _everything is out in the open eh? Well, no, not really. Mwhahahha! I would like to thank all my viewers and reviewers for reading this. Definitely keeps me going ya know? Oooh and I would _love_ you guys to tell me what you think is going to happen in the next couple of chapters. Especially **Naruta13** because I find your reviews and predictions HILARIOUS! XD. Okay then, please exit this fiction with caution and don't forget to leave a review on your way out. Thank you and goodnight. XD


	16. Velvet Ropes And High Hopes

**Hopelessly I'll Love You Endlessly**

**Disclaimer: **If I claimed the right to have Sora as my own, Tetsuya would financially bitch slap my arse, Riku would _physically_ bitch slap me my arse [which I actually wouldn't mind XP] and I would end up poorer and more bruised that what I already am!

**AN:** Okay, I know this is going to sound _completely_ random, but doesn't Greg Pitchard from 'Britain's Got Talent' remind you of Zexion? I can't even call him Greg, the minute I first saw him in the auditions I was like "Zexion!" He bloody well does remind me of him _man_. Anyways, obvious relating everything back to KH aside, I bring you the next installment. I am going to work my (financially and physically bitch slapped) arse off trying to get these chaps ready and perfect for you guys. I think that seeing as I can't reply to the reviews straight away, I'll put a special notice up for those who did on the next chapter. Let it not be said that I don't reply to my constructive criticisers and the people who motivate me to write more.

**Chapter Sixteen**

**Velvet Ropes and High Hopes**

I managed to sleep for an hour. Definitely no more than that.

I didn't move from my position on the floor after I woke up. I watched the rock wall ahead of me with no interest. No thoughts flew through my head. No unanswered questions. Nothing apart from the vivid images of: both Sephiroth and Kairi slapping him around the face, hard, and Kadaj punching him harder in the face and causing him unconsciousness. I tried to see beyond them, erase them from my vision, but I couldn't. They replayed themselves over and over again in my mind like a broken video. One after the other, attack after attack and Riku just accepting them as though he… _deserved_ it. They seemed to play over and over again, getting faster and faster, the sharp sound of the slap and the knuckle cracking sound of the punch getting louder and louder, causing me to groan and forcefully shake the images out of my head. Then once the images forcefully subdued into nothing more than a white background, I daydreamed about a silhouette approaching me from the distance.

Skin almost as pale as the background behind him, with silver strands flowing merrily through the light wind, provided a face of elegant beauty. Aquamarine eyes glowing unnaturally bright and a smile set on his face. An angel perhaps? The angel approached me gracefully, each step making no sound. As the figure approached me, I managed to get an eye full of his attire. Black. All black. Contrasting with the beauty of his paleness. Surely angels shouldn't be seen in such degrading clothes. No. They should be wearing more prominent unique clothing to suit their picturesque bodies. Black leather boots with a shine that even blood would be a stitch to wash off with a swipe of a finger, a black sleeveless jumper to keep warm during the cold hearted nights of murderous ventures and to piece the whole outfit together: black baggy pants with hoops around the hips to keep the belts closely to him: belts which were used to carry all types of weapons.

An angel shouldn't be prone to such things that would lead to devastation, to such chaos. It chilled me to watch this angel like this, it was as though I knew him once ago but now he looks like a completely different person. Where were his wings? Where was the halo and luminescent light which usually followed him? He approached me and stood mere feet away from me. He was close enough for me to breathe in his scent, though; it wasn't what I expected to be. The stranger smelt wrong, smelt different from what I anticipated. He smelt like the ocean if it was missing its salt – missing the thing that made it different from ordinary water. He smelt like the sea if it was being denied its natural scent of freedom. The angel smelt _wrong_, tainted almost.

The angel looked back at me, smile now gone as though it was wrong to do such thing in the first place. Teal eyes, extraordinarily bright, almost crazy looking, staring back at me emotionlessly. He reached his pale hand out for me to take, all the while giving no emotion on his face. Even in my daydream, it hurt to want to see that smile of his so badly. My hand was just aching to reach out, to touch the smooth texture of his skin. To see if it was hot and alive as I hoped it would instead of cold blooded like my mind kept telling me it was. I wanted to touch him so bad. I could see myself trying so hard to raise my hand and grab him, but I was frozen in place and my hand was always just that little bit out of reach of his.

He held his hand out effortlessly, unable to move also, but not showing as much determination as I was. Once he knew that the space between us two was inevitable to close, he retrieved his hand back to his side with a silent sigh and looked away remorsefully. With a blink of my eye, out of nowhere, a dark forced seemed to be taking over him. Pitch black tentacles pulling him down from underneath his leather boots. He didn't even try to fight the darkness currently pulling him down to the fiery surroundings of what lay beneath. I felt so useless, so desperate… but I wasn't giving up on this angel. Too many angels have been dragged down, but not this one, this one was too important to me.

I saw myself struggling and putting my entire being into saving him, helping him. A futile endeavor. With another blink of my resolving eyes, the dark force had already managed to claw its way up his to his shoulders. Then the angel smiled, warmly and serenely, mouthing the words 'goodbye' before leaving me alone in the light bright white surrounding.

"Riku." I found myself whispering, brining myself out of my own reverie.

I closed my heavy eyes and thumped my head back forcefully against the cold rock that I was leaning against. I drew my legs up close to me and wrapped a hand around them in a weak attempt to comfort myself. Hate was one of the main feelings that I couldn't help but feel constantly for myself, that and guilt. I felt hate because I promised myself that I would be there for him, and I didn't. I did the one thing I knew he couldn't stand; I closed down and acted like a statue. I acted like he didn't exist like I was the only one in the cave. Then, I feel guilty because if it wasn't for me then none of these things would have happened to him.

If Riku didn't feel like he… _loved_ me then he wouldn't have confessed to his psycho of a brother. He wouldn't have been in as much pain as he was when he was forced to leave us – hell if it wasn't for me then he wouldn't have had to leave in the first place. Things are just so messed up! Things were supposed to be simple and clean: no complications, no mess, just…_easy_. Easy for me seemed like another life ago. Lately I've been handed nothing but problems after problems, all of which _I_ have to deal with. Though that's the thing, I _have_ to deal with them. Conflict is something I would rather avoid at all costs, but seeing as the minute I start conflict with one person (in my case, Roxas), it seems to follow me and spread with nearly every person I encounter.

Then there's Lulu. She's in hospital – Oh My God Lulu! I completely forgot.

Quickly glancing at my watch, I could just make out that it was just after seven o'clock in the morning. I had to be at the hospital by ten. There is no doubt in my mind that Leon already knows that I'm gone and he and Roxas are probably going out of their minds with worry. It would take me ages to get home, but if I didn't start moving now then I would miss my free ride to the hospital and Leon would definitely order a search party for me.

Stretching out all my limbs in all directions once I rose from the floor, I hurriedly, though not as quickly as I would have liked, I began my journey through the 'dark' tunnel and out into the immensely bright rays of the morning's sun. I nearly got blinded then and there for staring directly at them once I emerged from the dark cave. Once my eyes stopped burning and I managed to get my blinking back to a normal rhythm, I took in one more look at the playing islands. It was so beautiful and, as always, nearly removed all traces of a rain storm last night.

Despite having knowing this place like the back of my hand _and_ being in a rush to get back home, I took the time to take in fully my surroundings. I graced the sand with my fingers and inhaled deeply the smell of my childhood memories. The good memories, the kind you reminisce on with your friends and boast about to your family. Those memories. I tried with force to forget last nights upsetting memories. I couldn't let it distract me from going to see Lulu, so once I had finished relishing in this nostalgic setting, I reluctantly began walking back to my (Selphie's) boat and started to get ready to sail back.

Once I was mid way in the ocean between the playing islands and my house, I couldn't help but stare once more at the playing islands, though, not the place I was last at. I watched with squinted eyes at the section with our favorite Papou tree. It was so hard to make out anything other than the unique tree, but I was sure that if I focused my eyes hard enough and looked _very_ closely, I could see something there – I could see some_one_ there.

Maybe it was the hope that when I go to find him again today, because we all know that I will, that he'll still be there, sitting and loitering for something to happen to him. Or may be he really wasn't there and it was my mind playing tricks on me. Some part of me hoped that it wasn't him there. That he didn't spend all night getting soaked in the rain, all because I was too upset to talk to him. A new spray of guilt splashed me in the face once that thought came into mind, and then I realized that I had stopped paddling and was drifting causelessly amongst the royal blue ocean.

Here it was. Decision time. I was midway. I could go back to the playing islands and see Riku, if that is even him there and not just a mirage. I could talk about this with him and I could show him that last night was a shock to me, that last night didn't change anything or how I feel about him. I could tell him how I feel because it's the only decent thing I can think of what to do – he was completely honest with me last night, why shouldn't I do the same for him?

_Or_ I could wait, just like I had to last night with Roxas and Leon, and go back home. If I was to go home, I would have to be prepared for one of Leon's favorite speeches about trust and one of Roxas' lectures about Riku. That was what I dreaded the most, if Roxas was to badmouth Riku without even knowing what he's going or been through. I don't know how I'll react; I could get angry or just really depressed. I don't know.

What to do? Paddle forward and sort out my destiny with an angel or continue paddling backwards to accept my fate with the devil, or should I say _devils_. The ongoing feud with my heart and brain didn't help me make up my decision. One was telling me to listen to it and get my sorry ass back home before I make things worst for myself whereas the other organ was telling me to follow it back to the playing islands and the beauty and heartache that it promised. It told me that at least this way I could get through this without problems hanging constantly over my head throughout the day.

Unfortunately my brain won this battle and my hands began to reluctantly paddle me backwards to my house with my eyes focused on the silhouette on the tree the entire time.

**:: ::**

Shockingly, neither Leon nor Roxas were waiting for me when I got home. Part of me began to panic and think that Leon really _did_ send out a search party for me, not to mention that I left my phone at home so if he did try and call me, then the answering ring would be only a couple of feet away from him. I checked the living room and the kitchen and even my dad's office and there was no one there. I didn't want to go into Leon's room and disturb him from sleeping – if I did then I would be asking for trouble.

Taking this as an 'I-got-away-with-it' sign, I began my way upstairs and up to my bedroom. I unlocked the door with ease then once I entered sighed and leaned down against the wooden threshold. My hands rubbed longingly, tiredly down my face then up again to tug at my hair as my head bent down to my knees which were drawn towards me. Sleep, I needed _sleep_ but if I did then I would miss my time to see Lulu and sleep was something that was not worth it. I would just have to get through today as best as I could.

"You look like shit."

The comment brought me suddenly out of my thoughts before my startled blue eyes looked at where the voice had come from: my bed. Lying there disinterestedly and looking at the ceiling of my room was Roxas. I rolled my eyes and muttered a, "thanks," before forcing myself off the floor and heading straight for my closet where I could retrieve some clean clothes.

Roxas sighed then leaned up from his lying position on my bed. Here it comes: the monotonous lecture, the unlimited questions and the constant degrading of both me and Riku. I just _prayed_ that I had the strength to listen to it all.

"Sora, I'm sorry." I turned around so that I could see my brother face on. For once the bored expression which he usually sports was completely replaced with a genuine sorry and _concerned_ one. He continued without me asking him to. "I'm sorry about the other morning. I shouldn't have been so forceful with you and I should trust you to make your own decisions."

There was nothing in his tone that hinted anything other than sincerity in the words that he was saying to me. I looked at him curiously because Roxas is _never_ the first out of us two to admit that he was wrong _and_ apologize at the same time. It wasn't because he was mean or anything, that's just the way Roxas is. Briefly, I wondered what it was that caused this change in him.

"Thank you Roxas, I'm sorry too. I should have at least tried listen to you right? Especially when it's something that you are seriously concerned about, right?" I tried to keep the tiredness out of my voice, but I wasn't doing very well, and Roxas could see but he thankfully chose to let it go. For now. His answering small smile triggered one from me and then I couldn't help but ask, "why are you saying this to me now?"

Roxas' hand patted the side of my bed, silently asking me to do something, and I did without complaint. He looked back at me, royal blue eyes still genuine. "When I was working at Scarlets last night, I saw how Axel and Reno constantly fought over the tiniest things. It was like watching children bicker over a sweet or something, but when it came down to it, one was always big enough to come forward and admit that they were wrong. I'm not apologizing because I want to be the bigger man or anything, I'm apologizing because I've realized that you don't need me telling you what to do. Just like Reno's realized that he doesn't need to tell Axel what to do anymore. I'm apologizing because I know that I can trust you to make your own choices."

I smiled and ruffled his flaxen spikes like I was petting a good dog, earning a glare from my twin. I exhaled a huge sigh of relief because I thought that talking to Roxas would be hard, but he was actually making this whole thing easier. "Thank you Rox. I am sorry too as well." I repeated honestly. "It's just; you don't understand what its like for me… what I'm going through. And it's when you act like the way you did that makes me feel like I can't talk to you about these kinds of things."

Roxas seemed to be hurt that I felt like I couldn't talk to him, but he masked it well with a stoic expression. "I know, and I'm sorry. I was just afraid that the same thing would happen again and this time I may not be able to break you out of it. Despite what you may think, I don't hate Riku, I mean like he was a good friend to me in the past as well. Its just I hate what he did to you and how he made you act."

I tried to hide my pain by smiling weakly at my twin and avoiding eye contact. "It's not going to happen again Roxas. I promise."

"You were with him weren't you? All of last night."

I looked up at Roxas to see that there was nothing but knowing curiosity in his eyes. No anger and no hidden motives lying underneath, just pure honesty. I nodded then quickly asked, "does Leon know that I was out?"

Roxas nodded a 'yes' and my eyes closed my eyes, knowing that I was in trouble. "He's _was_ mad, but when I told him that you were probably with Riku… I don't know, he seemed to be okay with it." Roxas rolled his eyes as a dismissal of that conversation. He leaned backwards onto the headboard of my bed and folded his legs so that I could mirror the same position and face him. "You can talk to me you know? I know how I usually get about Riku, but I promise I'll be a good twin brother." Roxas could see me deciding whether or not I should tell him. I knew I couldn't tell him about all the horrible stuff that has happened to Riku in the past four years, but it would be good to have someone to talk to. "I'll tell you what…" he continued. "If you tell me what's going on with you and Riku, then I'll tell you what's going on with me and Axel."

I looked back at him shocked. "Really?"

"Really," he confirmed and held out his hand to make our deal absolute. I shook it immediately and sighed to prepare myself for this conversation without breaking down again.

Roxas' azure eyes looked at me patiently, waiting for me to continue. "I guess it started a couple of weeks ago. I don't know why, but I couldn't stop thinking about him. Then, the night when you and Axel nearly broke his nose-"

"It was an acci-"

"-Was the same day I spoke to him for the first time. I was already in the nursing room when I spoke to him so yeah. I invited him to the party and at first I didn't think he came but he did. Just not inside. And when I went for a walk-"

"Whilst you were drunk-"

"-Riku followed me to make sure that I was okay." I continued, ignoring him completely. "Ever since then I've been seeing a lot more of him and talking to him more. I couldn't just let our friendship go that easily. And now that I've got him back as a friend, I can't help but-but-"

"Want to be something more?" Roxas offered, but I was too nervous to look at him. I know that Roxas would love me no matter what I do or _am_ but the thought that his thoughts about me might change, scared me a little. The heat returned immediately to my cheeks as I nodded as affirmative. Somewhere around me I heard Roxas laugh and I looked up at him to meet his understanding eyes. "Sora," he smiled. "I understand _why_ you didn't want to tell me, but you shouldn't be _scared_ to tell me something like this. You're my big twin brother and I'll love you regardless of anything okay?"

"Okay," I breathed and couldn't help but feel as though a big weight had been lifted off my shoulder. Part of me was scared about how Roxas would react, and I was surprised to see that he wasn't surprised, but I knew deep down that something like this wouldn't bother him. Especially when I _know_ he's going through the same thing. "Thanks Roxas." I smiled. I was so lucky to have a twin like Roxas and a brother like Leon. Riku on the other hand…

"I guess I have to live up to my end of the bargain as well." He decided unknowingly bringing me out of the thoughts that would have consumed my mind. I nodded once and waited for him to continue. "Well, as you know, Axel and I have been getting along really well right?" I nodded again. "Its weird, I mean, he annoys me and calls me that _damn nickname_…" I smiled at his glare. "…but… I don't know, I _really_ like him," he said with a goofy smile on his face as he fiddled with his thumbs in his lap. "The party was when I came to realize that I was beginning to like him. And I know that it sounds completely ridiculous because we had only known each other for a couple of days, but, something happened at the party."

It was Roxas' turn to have his cheeks redden in a blush, though; I could tell that his was a lot deeper than what mine was. When he showed no sign of continuing, I did for him. "You kissed."

Shocked cerulean eyes looked back at me. "You know?" He asked incredulously.

Then the blush on my cheeks returned as my hands nervously scratched the back of my neck. "Well- I sorta walked in you guys in Dad's study and-" I couldn't continue, the blush on Roxas' face deepened as did mine. "I-I didn't know what to expect or anything, I mean, I thought that you guys were drunk or something and would forget it in the morning."

The blond suddenly smiled and shook his head softly. "No, I wasn't drunk and Axel doesn't drink… I don't know how it happened. One minute we were talking then the next we were kissing and it didn't feel weird or anything. Well not until the morning after. I thought that after we kissed, Axel would want to avoid me, but he didn't, which is what made it all weird for me. We talked about it properly the night you had your 'date'-"

"-It wasn't a da-"

"-and we decided that it would be best if we were just friends. But it's like the more time I spend with him, the more I want to be with him you know?"

I nodded, understanding completely what he was talking about. It was weird at how Roxas and I are nothing alike, but at the same time, exactly the same. I sympathized for my brother, hoping that he does get to sort out what he wants with Axel. "So, I guess that we all, apart from dad, like guys huh?"

Roxas snorted, smile still in place. "What about Leon?"

"Are you kidding? You can so totally tell that he's into Cloud and I think that Cloud likes him too."

"You really think so?" Roxas asked disinterestedly. I nodded my answer. "Yeah but Cloud he's so- he's such-"

"A nice guy." I finished for him firmly, happy with the way my twin looked defeated. "You should cut him some slack. Every time Leon finds someone you react this way. It's like you _don't_ want him to be happy or something."

Roxas rolled his eyes. "Of course I want him to be happy, it's just, _Cloud_, I mean, what kind of name is _Cloud_? It's a fucking girl's name-"

"-Language!" I warned my brother, he knew how much I hated bad language. Though, what did surprise me last night was Riku's swearing and just how much he was doing it. "And so what if it's a girl's name? Cloud is anything but girly, and he seems to make Leon happy so what's the problem? He's not like the others Leon has been out with. In fact he's nothing like the girls Leon has been out with which makes me think that he _really_ likes Cloud. And that is the exact reason why you're going to drop this bratty attitude when it comes down to Cloud." I ordered definitely.

Roxas folded his arms in front of his chest and looked away defeated, knowing that I was right. "Fine," he murmured after a little while. "I'll play nice, but that doesn't mean that I have to like him." I smiled, that was good enough to me. I think that Roxas agreed to my terms so willingly because he knows how much family means to me, though after last night, it meant so much more and I have to cherish everything about mine. The good and the bad. After a moment of comfortable silence had passed, Roxas sighed and looked back at me with a small smile. "Thanks Sora." He leaned in forwards for a hug and I immediately responded, thankful to have my brother's support.

Trying to remain strong, I didn't say anything back because I knew that if I did, then I wouldn't be able to hold my secrets and tears back. After a while, Roxas pulled away and ruffled my hair before rising from my bed and patting me on the shoulder. "I don't want to know what happened to you yesterday, but you smell of crap and you need a shower. You have forty minutes before we have to leave for hospital so hurry up."

I smiled at my brother's total ignorance for sparing my feelings and once he left my room, gathered the clothes that I had before we spoke to each other and headed for my bathroom.

**:: :: :: :: :: ::**

It was packed with both mine and Roxas' friends in Lulu's hospital room by the time we got there. Wakka, Selphie, Olette, Pence, Tidus and Hayner had already arrived once we entered. Wakka looked a lot more cheery and upbeat since the last time I saw him and Selphie practically jumped into my arms out of joy the second I walked through the door. Tidus was talking to Lulu about his mom and how she's going to visit her soon. Whereas Kairi… she sent me a chilly glare once I entered the room but other than that she ignored me completely. I knew that I had to speak to her but it seemed _wrong_ to do so now. So I spent the majority of the visit sitting silently in my seat and only interacting when I had to. I wanted to speak to Lulu, but I would have to when everyone else is gone.

My mind kept on constantly referring back to last night: the way I just allowed him to walk out without even saying anything. _Why_ didn't I say something? Why didn't I support him and comfort him like I know he would have done for me? I need to figure out what it was that made me shut down like that. All I remember is the searing pain cutting its way though my heart once he told me that he would be going to war. The thought still pains me whenever I think of him in the uniform, handling all those weapons. But what hurts the most is that he has no choice in the matter. He doesn't want this life and yet here it is being forced to him as though he's an incapable baby who is too irresponsible to make decisions himself.

The whole thing makes me so angry that I want to go over to his house right now and _demand _to know what the hell is wrong with them. I mean, SOLDIER of all places. The force is run by lunatics; the soldiers there don't play fair or by the rules. They're the reason Chappu is in the infirmary for crying out loud. What is the point of Riku fighting for a country he has no connections to anyway? It just – it makes no sense! Riku's a good guy, he doesn't deserve this.

Then I remember the last thing he said to me.

'_I was falling in love with you, Sora_'

That thought both comforted and scared me. Comfort because at least I know now that there is a _chance_, as small as it may be, that he still might love me and this feeling that I harbor for him isn't one way. And at the same time it scared me because if he does love me and something does blossom between us, how will I be able to watch him walk away again?

This time he wouldn't be leaving me but always a couple of feet away, no, this time he is going for good. Going to another world to fight for all the wrong reasons. I won't be able to watch him in History or see him unnoticeably down the streets or hallways. All I'll have is the memories – I don't even have a lot of those thanks to Sephiroth – to reminisce on. I'm going to miss him so much.

"Sorry loves, time is up, Doctor Cole's ord_ers hello_ there again." Annoyingly, I rolled my eyes as I recognized the owner of that voice. Nurse _Candy_. At first she peered through the door to give us the quick message, but once her honey eyes found Leon, she sauntered into the room and straightened out her short revealing clothing. Tidus and Wakka tried not to laugh and held it back pretty well. Selphie and Olette looked at the woman, with Lulu, curiously yet amused as the other boys were. Roxas had a smirk on his face as the 'nurse' I mentioned to him on the way here walked over to my elder brother. Kairi practically glared at the woman as though lasers were about to come out of her soft violet eyes.

I on the other hand showed no possible emotion to this woman whatsoever. I was too aloof to put on the whole 'nice' attitude towards her. Leon's stormy grey eyes rolled, but Candy obviously didn't see, as he rose from the chair before she could make her way fully towards him. "Thanks for the message," he said impassively as he walked straight past her and opened the door.

Candy, unfazed by my brother's obvious attempt to be rid of her, still had a smile on her face and stood next to Leon as the majority of the teenagers began fleeing the room. All except me. Once everyone was out, Leon looked at me as though he wanted me to hurry so he could get away from _this woman_ but I couldn't leave, not without talking to Lulu. "I just have to talk to Lulu quickly. I won't be long I promise."

With one quick nod, Leon left the room with the nurse following merrily close behind him. I sat so that I was closer to Lulu and part of me expected her hazel eyes to look at me expectantly, but they didn't, she looked at me _perceptively_.

A beat later she said knowingly, "so, he finally told you." It wasn't a question though I found myself nodding nonetheless. Lulu smiled serenely and reached out a hand for me to take, which I did instantly and held it tight. If there was anyone who could help me through this, it would be Lulu. "How are you feeling?" My mouth opened to reply, but no words would come forth, all I could do was shake my head in response. "Where he is he now?"

"I-I really don't know. We didn't leave on the best of terms and I don't have a clue where he is or what he's doing or how he's feeling. I didn't mean to react the way I did, it was just a big shock and now I don't even know if he's okay or done something stupid and I'm worried about him Lu. How could Sephiroth do this to him? I wanted to believe that after so long I've finally got my best friend back but now he's being taken away again. It's not fair!" I complained, I knew that I was rambling but I couldn't stop myself. "It's just… not _fair_." I breathed solemnly and looked down at the ground.

"Sora," I looked up into her hazel understanding eye, "how long have you known Riku?"

I looked back at the black haired lady incredulously; Lulu knew the answer to her question. When her questioningly stare didn't let up, I answered her anyway, "my whole life."

"And how many years have you guys not spoken to each other?"

"Four."

"Have either you or Riku changed dramatically over the past four years?"

I made a thoughtful face and answered her with a "no."

"Do you love Riku and know that no matter what happens he'll still be the same Riku?"

"You're right Lulu, but-"

"-But nothing," she interrupted calmly. "I don't know what he's told you about the past four years, but he's been through _so much_ and he's still the same person to me. Granted sometimes he can be a bit…_indifferent_ but he's still the same Riku. He's got a good heart and I know that he's not going to change, but he is going to need some help through this. Even if he won't ask for it." She sighed as her thumb began to run absentmindedly along her knuckles. "Sora, trust me, I _know_ that it's not going to be easy, I _know_, but it's going to be a lot harder for Riku. The things he'll see Sora, and the stuff he's going to be forced to do, he's going to need someone who'll tell him it's alright. Remind him that he always has a home and someone to come back to when it's all over."

"Aren't you scared Lulu? I mean, this must be a lot harder on you than anyone. Chappu in Bevelle, Riku in Midgar: the two worlds currently at war with each other. What if something _terrible_ happens to one of them? It seems so… so…"

"I know," she sympathized. "When Riku first told me, Sora, he was so distraught; I have never seen him like that before. He kept on crying that Chappu and Wakka would hate him and that you would never forgive him. It's not his fault this is happening, but there isn't anything we can do about it either, we just have to be supportive. Riku needs _your_ support more than anyone's."

"I don't know if I can say goodbye to him again." A warm tear trickled its way down my cold cheek as I looked down to hide them away from Lulu. The thought of Riku leaving again scared me like mad, I just got him back and now he's being taken away. For me, it's like taking the moon away from the night, sure there are plenty of stars to light the midnight sky, but they don't have the same intensity as the moon. "I don't _want_ to say goodbye to him." I murmured.

"Its not easy watching someone you love leave for reasons you don't believe in. I understand that, but it won't be forever, the time will pass shorter than what you imagine."

"I'm going to miss him, _so_ much more than what I did when he first left."

"He's going to miss you too Sora, It's not like you won't be able to contact each other either."

I nodded lightly, still keeping my head down, still allowing the tears to fall down carelessly. As always Lulu was right, I couldn't argue with someone who's been through this already. I just wish it wasn't happening. I really didn't need this to happen to me right now, right when I've got him back.

Leon entered through the door moments later then his grey eyes found mine. "Are you ready to go? That nurse has got a couple of her friends looking out for me." He looked back nervously through the window in the door as someone walked by. I smiled, as did Lulu and nodded to my brother. "Lulu, we've got another visiting time at six o clock, so I'll be back down with Aerith, Cloud and the others." Lulu smiled as her eyes slowly closed and opened while he spoke. "Come on Sora, Roxas is waiting."

"Wait," Lulu's soft voice halted me as I stood up from my seat. I looked down and found that both her eyes were shut ready for sleep. "I don't want you to forget what I said okay? He… he needs you. So be there for him. Promise?"

She let go of my hand. "I promise Lulu." I assured sensitively before making my way back to Leon and leaving the hospital.

**:: ::**

'_I still care for you Sora_'

'_I could never hate you Sora_'

'_I promise_'

'_You know that I love you too right?_'

'_You have no idea how much I've missed you Sora_'

'_Its funny how that after all these years, my feelings for you haven't changed. I don't think they could even if I wanted them to_'

'_BECAUSE I'M AFRAID! OKAY? I'M AFRAID!_'

'_I was falling in love with you, Sora_'

Ever since I got back from the hospital, I spent the entire time drowning in the covers of my bed and listening to the same quotes over and over again. Replaying the same images in my head and listening to pure emotion and sincerity in those words when he said them. I felt so guilty that I was betraying my promise to Lulu by hiding here and not talking to Riku but it was the guilt that kept me from looking for him. The memory of me sitting there and ignoring him was as fresh as ever. I wouldn't be surprised if he did hate me right now, I completely ignored his cries for help. I did no different from when he tried to talk to Sephiroth.

I still couldn't get over how bad his family has treated him. If it wasn't for Sephiroth's threats then Riku wouldn't have left us. He wouldn't be going through this. He would… He would be here with me now, and we'd talk and laugh and…… he'd hold my hand. I'd be able to stare into the happy tearless teal eyes I remembered four years ago. I'd be able to watch him smile and hear his carefree laugh again. He'd say something smug and I'd retort with something that should have wounded his ego – even though it wouldn't. And when he'd look at me again, I wouldn't be able to take my eyes of him…… He'd lean in close and… he'd kiss me. He'd tell me he loves me and that things will be alright. He'd be _here_.

That's how it should be… except it's not. Nothing is connected. Everything is scattered and I don't know what to do.

There were a couple of times throughout the day that Leon came in to check that I was okay. I either pretended that I was asleep or shrugged it off and told him I was fine. The truth was that _craved_ sleep and I wasn't fine. But Leon didn't need to know that, he has enough on his plate to deal with, I don't need to add to them.

When I heard my door open once more I pretended to be asleep and hope that Leon would get this as a message that I didn't want to talk. What I didn't expect, however, was for a pillow to be hit on my 'sleeping' form harshly.

"Get up, get dressed, we're going to the beach."

I lifted my head from my pillow and glared at my smirking twin. Rolling my eyes I looked at my clock and saw that it read eight pm. Have I really been in my bed that long? "It's eight o' clock, time for sleeping." I groaned and buried my head once more on my pillow. "Aren't you supposed to be at work or something?"

Roxas sighed audibly and forcefully pulled the covers off me. I think he sighed once more when he found that I actually _hadn't _changed from the clothes I was wearing once we got back from hospital. I sorta just came here and allowed the memories to replay themselves over and over again. "Its like I said, I don't know what happened last night and you don't have to tell me what happened. I finished my shift at Scarlets over an hour ago and what _you_ have to do is… get…out…of…bed!" He growled between pulling my leg off of the bed. I landed on the floor with a big bang and knew then that Roxas wasn't going to take no for an answer. He exhaled contently and still wore the same smirk once I started to get up from the floor and look at him defeated. "Good," he smiled. "We're meeting Axel and Zexion at the beach in twenty minutes. Leon said that we can stay out just as long as we're back by _twelve_ at the latest and that it's our own fault if we fall asleep in class."

"Why are we going?" I questioned as we headed for the door. I've really got to find a more suitable hiding place for my spare key. I don't see anyone breaking into Roxas' or Leon's room recently.

"We're going because you're not exactly 'Mr. Bundle-of-Joy' right now, you've been cooped up in your room for God knows how long, and I think you could use the fresh air."

I wanted to argue that I've been on the beach for the majority of last night but he would only interpret it in the wrong way and try to get me to talk about it. It's not that I don't talk to my brothers or anything, because I do, it's just that this is more private. Something I know that should only be kept between Riku and me. Once we were outside and walking towards the beach, I spoke. "Roxas, I just want to stay in my bed and mope for a while. Can't I just do that now and we go to the beach tomorrow?"

Roxas sighed and stopped walking, looking at me persistently. "You promised," he reminded me, azure eyes gleaming with hope. "You promised you wouldn't be like this and that it wouldn't happen again."

Once again the guilt settled in deep inside me and forced an apologetic smile on my face. He was right – I did promise and I should keep to them, especially because he's my brother. "You're right, I'm sorry."

His gaze didn't let up for a while though, once he saw that I was genuinely sorry and that I _am_ trying, he nodded contently and began walking again. We didn't walk in silence; Roxas and I talked and questioned each other about our friends. It was apparent that he hasn't been spending much time with his friends lately, but I wanted to ensure that he _is_ because it is one of the worst things when one of your friends leave you. I wanted to question him about Naminé and ask why he was talking to her after so long, after all of what she had did. However, just as I was about to voice these thoughts and questions, I felt an arm wrap around my shoulder and I was being pulled into a firm chest.

"_Solo_ imagine finding two cute twins here on a b-e -a-_utiful_ night like this." Axel's undeniable playful voice filled the scene. An arm was wrapped around Roxas too and I smiled as I could tell that he was fighting a blush. "Especially one as cute as _Roxy_ here."

"Pervert," Roxas murmured and pushed the redhead playfully away from him. "And stop calling me 'Roxy'." He warned.

Axel's smirk widened into a grin at Roxas' nature as we followed his lead onto the beach. "Zexion's here somewhere near the ocean." He waved a flippant hand around before continuing. "But I think things just got a lot more interesting now that you guys have showed up." _Aaaaand_ the smirk was back, dominant as ever as Axel replaced his arm around Roxas' shoulder, though this time, my brother didn't try to push him away.

We managed to find Zexion some time later sitting exactly where Axel thought he would be. In no time we were all sitting at the edge of the beach and talking, Axel and Roxas more than me and Zexion, but the overall atmosphere was nice… relaxing even.

My eyes wouldn't keep away from our playing Islands with an unsettling feeling deep in my stomach. I _hope_ that he's not still on the islands, but another part of me didn't want him to go home either. Should I talk to him tomorrow? Would I even see him tomorrow? Would he even want to speak to me? After the way I- No! I can't think about this right now, I promised Roxas. I…Promised.

I should keep to my promises.

"You're surprisingly quiet tonight Sora." Zexion noted absently, throwing a couple of pebbles into the ocean. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah I'm fi- where's Axel and Roxas?" I wondered as I noticed that the two actually were gone then instantly wished that I hadn't asked.

Zexion smirked. "Axel went to have a cigarette and Roxas joined him for a walk," he then turned to look at me, a crystal blue eye shining with pure knowledge. "They left about ten minutes ago." He focused his attention back onto the ocean, throwing another pebble into the wet abyss. "You were thinking about Riku, weren't you?"

I sighed defeated. "He told me about him. He told me last night." I trust Zexion because Riku trusts him and I know that I can talk to him about stuff. Just like before in the library.

"I see," he said nonchalantly after a moment passed. "And how did you take it?"

"Not so well." I smiled sadly, guiltily.

"Do you know where he is now?"

I shook my head. "You know how evasive he can be."

"Yeah," he agreed. "So what did he tell you?"

I had to be very careful as to what I told Zexion. I doubt Riku would have told him the _full_ extent of what happened to him at home, so I made sure that my answer kept to the point about Midgar. "He told me about SOLDIER and that he's joining it. Riku also sai-"

My words were cut off by the sound of Zexion's cell phone ringing in his pocket. "Excuse me-" he said politely and accepted the phone call. "Reno." He greeted. I watched his expression turn from stoic to mildly agitated. "Calm down… yeah he's here… okay." Zexion sighed. "I don't know, anything at this rate… no. I'll… I'll come now… Yeah, I'll be about ten minutes. Goodbye."

Abruptly Zexion raised himself from the soft texture of the sand and placed his cell back in his pocket before looking at me worriedly. "I've got to go." He stated simply. I wanted to know what the big rush was but the minute I started asking him why he had to leave and followed him; he turned back to me and insisted that I stayed. "You have to wait here for Roxas and Axel to come back. Wait for them where we were a minute ago, don't bother look for them you could all get lost and separated. Tell Axel to meet me back at Scarlets."

Before I could even protest, Zexion was walking away from me back the way we came. I was worried as to what could be troubling both Reno _and _Zexion for that matter, but I knew that it was none of my business really. Part of me didn't think he would be able to make it to Scarlets in ten minutes because the café is at least a twenty minute walk. I could probably get it out of Roxas who would get it out of Axel. Just as Zexion commanded, I went back to where I was sitting before and watched with agitated eyes the playing islands as I was before.

I tried to forget about what got Zexion so worked up but whenever I did I would think about last night. The smiles, the tears the reminiscing. It was all just… messed up. Everything is scattered and without Riku here to reassure us both that it's okay, everything feels empty. This island, this atmosphere, _everything_ feels empty without Riku here. Now I finally understand what he was lamenting about when he said 'feeling empty'. Everything is missing its vibrancy, its fullness. My heart feels hollow but when Riku's here… it beats and races – I don't remember the last time I've felt like this.

I don't know if I've _ever_ felt like this.

I need to speak to him, talk to him, apologize and explain everything to him. It's an imperative that I do. I got up from the sand quickly and was about to walk away to begin my venture but Axel's loud whistle brought my attention to him and Roxas. The two were only a couple of yards away from me so I decided to walk up to them to save more time. Once I approached the two, I noticed Axel's mischievous grin fault slightly. "Where's Zex?" He asked as his emerald green eyes effortlessly looked over my head to look for the slate haired teen.

"He got a call from Reno," Axel's grin was gone completely. "He made his way to Scarlets about…" I paused as I checked my watch, "five minutes ago."

"Shit." Axel cursed under his breath and immediately started walking quickly to try and catch up with Zexion. "Fucks sake Reno." He murmured as we walked.

Roxas looked at Axel curiously and asked, "what's wrong?"

"Zexion can't go back to Scarlets yet. Not yet." He said with a new tone of seriousness in his voice. We picked up the pace once we were off the beach which turned into a full on run once we hit concrete pavement.

"I think we'll be able to catch up with him." I tried as a way to encourage the obviously agitated redhead.

Quickly he shook his head, red spiked remaining prominent against the dark background of the night. "You don't understand. Zex has legs like a dinosaur; one step for him is like ten steps for us." He exclaimed, arms flailing in the air for exaggeration. "Reno knows Zex can't be there at this time. What the hell is wrong with him?" He asked rhetorically as we tried to approach the café.

"I couldn't hear what Reno was saying on the other line but both seemed to be worried or something. Zexion left without an explanation so I think that whatever it is must be _very_ important." I explained whilst panting lightly. I hate running.

"It better be," Axel growled between his teeth but said nothing after that.

We were at the end of Midnight Close after about seven minutes worth of running, and barely missed Zexion walking through the doors. The road was too long for Axel's cries to reach Zexion's ears, which only spurred the redhead to run faster to reach the slate haired teen. As we rapidly reached the doors, I noticed the dent that in one of the traffic light poles and tire marks which lead to it on the road and pavement. That was where Lulu must have crashed.

Forcing my eyes shut to rid myself of the images of Lulu crashing, I kept up my pace with Axel and Roxas and forced my way through the mass of people who were trying to make their way into the café. Why didn't Axel want Zexion to go to the café so much?

As soon as we were immediately inside, we all noticed Zexion talking to Reno at the far end where people were getting their drinks served to them. Axel was the first to move, walking so quickly that I nearly had to jog to catch up with him and Roxas. Once we reached the two males, Axel feigned a smile and put an arm around Zexion's shoulder, trying to steer the blond in another direction. "_Hey_!" He greeted, voice dripping with false happiness. "Why don't you two continue this discussion outside or something?" he suggested hopefully.

Zexion rolled his sky blue eye and swatted Axel's arm off of his shoulder. "We haven't got time for this Axel. Something seri-" Zexion stopped abruptly, eyes squinting at nothing in particular as he took on a skeptical facial expression. It seemed that we all, apart from Axel, were wondering what the slate haired teen was thinking. Quickly, he looked back at Axel before walking away rapidly.

"Zexi-" Axel tried to call, but the other male was already walking away. We all walked after him as he went downstairs to where it was more apparent that some singing and light music was playing. Confused, I glanced down at my watch. It was only eleven 'o clock, I could have sworn that Tidus said that acts didn't start to play until after midnight. Shrugging it off, I followed all the other males down the stairs and it was clear that it was a male singing.

Zexion seemed to forget all of what he and Reno were discussing once he set out for the downstairs region, no matter how important it seemed. Reno, too, tried to get the silent teen to listen, but Zexion was too determined.

Once downstairs, my eyes immediately saw the person behind the voice which was singing. He had a guitar and was strumming on it lightly whilst singing into the microphone on the small stage that the café provided for entertainment. He didn't look any older than Axel and he wore a simple baby blue t-shirt and dark jeans. I stood beside Zexion, waiting for some sort of reaction. He didn't give me one and instead continued to look intently at the singing dirty blond.

The singing mullet/ Mohawk haired male continued to sing and smile at the crowd.

That is until his eyes found Zexion's of course.

The musician stopped strumming and singing once his eyes landed upon the slate haired male. He looked shocked which caused the majority of the audience to whisper amongst themselves, some even looked in our direction. Zexion's blank expression didn't let up once upon seeing the other male and the continued to stare at each other as though they were the only ones in the room.

Briefly, I looked back at Axel for some answers, but the redhead was leaning against the far end of the wall at the back of the room by the stairs. His expression was for once unreadable, and I quickly nudged Roxas and nodded off in the direction of the suddenly silent redhead. Roxas walked off wordlessly to see if Axel was okay. I, on the other hand, was concerned about Zexion. He's not usually like this.

"Zex?" I started shakily, slightly nervous from the stares we got. "What's up?"

"Demyx."

Once the word befell his lips, he turned away stonily and made his way towards the entrance. I and Reno followed him, worriedly, as he ignored the cries of his name coming from the musician. The slightly shorter male stopped in front of Axel, and stared at him sadly. Axel's glassy green eyes seemed hesitant to meet his. "Some friend Axel." He concluded solemnly then walked coldly up the stairs.

It was then that we all tried to follow the slate haired male, including the musician. Axel was right when he said that Zexion could walk fast; he was already outside walking down the street once we got atop the stairs. As soon as we were all outside, Axel called out to his best friend. "Zexion wait!" he cried, and surprisingly, Zexion stopped. All of us walked up to him, Demyx trailing guiltily behind. We approached Zexion with only a few meters distancing us. "What are you going to do? Where are you going to go?"

Zexion sighed, shoulders relaxed, but he didn't turn to look at us. I don't blame him. "I'm going to find someone." He told us with disappointment and sadness lacing in his voice. It was then that he turned around and held his pale hand out, crystal blue eyes purposely avoiding Demyx's and instead focusing solely on Reno's. "Hand me your phone. I'll need it in case he contacts you again." Without a word, Reno did as he was commanded before giving Zexion an apologetic smile and heading back into the café. Sighing once more, Zexion's eyes focused upwards once more, looking at a remorseful Axel and an even more remorseful Demyx. "I'm not mad," he said after a while. "I just… I need to go." He decided and turned back around once more.

"Zexion," Demyx's soft tone drifted to the male he called. "_Please_ don't go." He begged softly. "I'm sorry."

"I know," he murmured sympathetically, almost inaudibly. I could tell that Roxas was at a complete lost as to what was going on, whereas Axel and Demyx both sported an expression which suggested that they didn't want the older male to leave like this. "I've got to go. I'm going to need your help Sora." He said indifferently and began walking off. I walked quickly to the older male and caught up with him in no time.

We walked silently until the others were out of earshot. Zexion knew that the question was coming just as I had an unsettling feeling about what his answer would be. "Who are we looking for?" I asked anxiously, fearing the answer because I knew who it would be.

"Riku." He answered flatly, keeping his eye focused on the journey ahead. "Reno got a call from him right before he called me. Apparently Riku was driving and sounded really weird over the phone. Riku kept on babbling about saying goodbye and thanks for everything. Reno's never heard him like that before, and to be fair, neither have I. We don't know where he is or what he's going to do but I know that you'd be able to help. Probably calm him down or something."

Guilt, panic, fear, concern and a whole load of emotions that I couldn't quite decipher stirred around in me throughout Zexion's explanation. "It's all my fault." I murmured into my hands before I could stop myself, I didn't think Zexion heard me. But he did.

"It's not your fault." He stated genuinely, cold blue eye looking at me quickly before looking back at the journey. Zexion has problems of his own; mine shouldn't have gotten involved with his. "I know what you're thinking and I honestly want to help Riku. I can deal with my stuff later but right now Riku needs us."

'_Riku needs you_' I remember Lulu saying to me only hours ago. Why didn't I listen to her earlier? If I had then this wouldn't have happened.

"I'm sorry." I found myself apologizing quickly.

Zexion merely shook his head but before he could say anything else, his phone went off. He pulled the mechanic device from his pocket and looked back at me anxiously before opening his phone.

"Riku?"

**:: ::**

**AN:** I don't know what to make of this chappy. I don't like it to be honest, but then again, that's a filler for you. XD As always I would _love_ to hear what you think and thanks for reading as always. XD Bye!!!!


	17. Enticing Nightmares

**Hopelessly I'll Love You Endlessly**

**Disclaimer:** Unless someone from Square-Enix wants to sell me their business for free, I really don't see how on the earth the game is ever going to be mine. *Cries in the corner*

**AN:** Whoo hoo. As some of you already know, this chapter was going to be posted last week, but I got a little sidetracked with some underwear models. XD So it's being posted now. Thanks everyone so much for the reviews! In the past two chapters I went from 61 reviews to 85! That makes me happy, though, what doesn't make me happy is this chapter. Some may like it, I personally don't (Danielle don't kill me) but eh! What can you do about it? So, with this one apology: SORRY FOR THE WAIT OF THIS CHAPPY!

I beseech to you:

**Chapter Seventeen**

**Enticing Nightmares**

One quick cobalt eye regarded me wearily before a button was pressed on the phone and Riku's voice was blaring through the speaker. It was clear by the sound of loud rustling in the background that Riku was driving, but that's not what had me shocked. What had me shocked was the sound, the emotion, the _pain_ in his beautiful voice.

"_Zexion? Zexion I need you to listen to me okay? Please don't speak because I don't think I'll be able to continue if you interrupted me right now._" Despite hearing what Riku just said, Zexion opened his mouth to speak and protest, but was abruptly cut off by the bordering hysteric voice on the other end of the line. "_I want to thank you Zex, for everything. You were always there for me when I needed it most. You were - _are _ a good friend and I don't want you to forget that alright_?"

"Riku? Where are you?" Zexion was so calm, so collected, so unlike how I was feeling. It was Zexion's presence which prevented me from having a panic attack.

"_Does it matter?_" He cried angrily. I winced. "_I can't go back - I can't deal with all of this._ _It's probably best I leave before you hate me too. Please, please don't hate me Zex. I'm sorry-_"

"-Riku-"

"-_Leaving like this, but you're leaving for college soon and now... now I have nothing. I can't stay here anymore. Do you understand that? I can't keep being responsible for hurting everyone. I just - I need to get away okay? I know you don't understand but_-"

Zexion used Riku's sudden silence as an opportunity to speak, "Riku please calm down." The slate haired male ordered calmly. "Can you at least tell me where you're heading? Just so that I know you are going somewhere safe?" There was no answer. "Please Riku." Zexion looked up at me, silently begging me to say something, _anything_ that would get Riku to see sense. _Breathing_ was difficult enough, let alone to respond and think coherently.

After a short and uncomfortable while, Riku spoke. "_I really am sorry Zexion_." He replied sincerely, "_I don't know where I'm going_." Riku's tone was calmer though not enough to actually call calm. "_I'll come back when I'm ready. It's just... I need some time._"

Tiredly, Zexion voiced the question that was on both our minds, "time for what?" There was a long pause before Riku finally answered.

"_To be forgiven._" Was the only answer before, "_goodbye Zex._"

With that, he disconnected the call.

"Damn it." Zexion cursed under his breath as he closed his phone and placed it conveniently in the front pocket of his jeans. We both knew that there was no point in calling him back, there's no way he would answer or return the call. If anything, he's probably thrown it away, knowing that too many people would try and contact him. A palely stressed hand grabbed (none too lightly) on his slate hair as his crystalline blue eyes began to idly search our surroundings, as though the smallest movement around him would hint at Riku's whereabouts.

I, on the other hand, remained frozen in place with my azure eyes fixed on the empty air where his phone was only moments ago. Again. I cannot believe that he is gone _again_. Though this time, I doubt that we would be able to find him. Riku's in a car and driving around aimlessly in the night and in the wrong state of mind. And his _voice_. It was almost unbearable to hear him like that. It was so hysteric, frantic - _nothing_ like I've ever heard him before.

"We have to find him, who knows what he'll do when he's like this?" Zexion murmured to himself, but his voice, to me, was just a blur in the background blending together with the incoherent thoughts that something has or will happen to Riku. Gods _please_ let him be alright. Nothing can happen to him. Not until he hears my apology. Not until I tell him the truth about I feel about him. He has to be okay because... because...

"It's my fault," I whispered lightly into his the empty atmosphere. I blinked once and immediately my eyes began to water lightly due to the amount of time I have been staring at mid air. I looked up at Zexion, into his expressionless blue eyes, "Everything is my fault." I said a little but louder. "If I wasn't - If I didn't - then none of this would be happening to him."

Zexion sighed understandably. "You can't pin this all on you Sora. Riku's gone because-"

"-I'm not on about him leaving. I mean _everything_ bad that has gone his way. It's my fault. If it wasn't for me being _me_ then, then..." I couldn't finish my sentence, feeling so helpless and so _guilty_.

"Then Riku would be unhappy." Zexion concluded with such confidence in his voice. He started speaking again before I had a chance to reason with him. "You should hear the way he talks about you, Sora. He really cares about you and loves you for being the way that you are. It's if you were to have changed that he would be truly unhappy and would have left a long time ago. All he's ever wanted was to protect you, but he's not thinking properly. He's... he's afraid."

'_BECAUSE I'M AFRAID OKAY? I'M AFRAID!_'

My eyes closed involuntary, "Afraid of what?" I desperately asked the memory almost soundlessly.

"Losing you." Zexion answered and without waiting for a reaction, from me, began walking down the darkening streets. Zexion called over his shoulder with a tone of finality in his voice, "we'll take Axel's car."

**:: ::**

Just like the night before, we spent all night looking for the missing silverette.

I refused to accept that he was probably out of this world by now. I had to keep my optimism because I had a sinking feeling that Zexion was slowly losing his. We would find him. I have to find him. All it's going to take is a little patience. The car journey was relatively silent. The only words which were shared between us were the directions to places we'd thought he'd be. We checked places once, twice and sometimes three times but all we'd get is the same picture without Riku. After a couple of hours, it turned into us just driving around on the almost empty roads of Destiny Islands. I didn't know where we were but Zexion seemed confident in the corners he was turning. Before, the only motivation I had to keep me awake was finding Riku, but running on just one hours sleep was really starting to have effect. For the first time for me today it was peaceful - not even my thoughts were getting to me. Zexion kept silent as ever, the wind bristled, the air was calming and all the comfort I needed was that I _knew_ Riku loves me. He does. He wouldn't do anything _too_ reckless. We would find him, I know we would so I don't have to worry because Riku loves me and things are going to be fine. Just fine. So, with my chocolate spikes resting against the headrest of my seat, my eyelids got rapidly heavier and heavier then brought me a dreamless slumber once they closed completely.

I'm not sure how long I slept, though; I knew it wasn't long enough. The sky outside was a pure black one now, not even the stars could be properly seen, but the moon was as prominent and as still as ever. No clouds ghosting over it. No stars outshining it. Just remaining there still and lonely amongst the dark sky, silently waiting for the sun to arrive. It wasn't until I heard a groan from beside me that I remembered where I was and that Zexion was still in the car with both hands on the steering wheel and staring outside confused.

"Why?" The slate haired male whispered now sporting a slightly perplexed facial expression. "Why would he hide from me?" He whispered to the air desperately.

"That's simple." I murmured to him, accidentally startling him and making his eyes look straight into mine. He quirked a dark eyebrow at me and I rolled my eyes as though it was obvious. Stretching all my limbs out in as far as they would go, I answered with a yawn, "it's because he loves you."

Zex looked at me as though I was crazy. "That doesn't make any sense."

"Of course it does." I countered, his questioning gaze didn't let up. "I know that I don't know him, but after everything you've told me about him **[1]**, and that weird Organization thing, maybe all he wants to do is protect you." As I was giving my explanation, I slowly started to realize how similar Zexion and Demyx's story was compared to mine and Riku's. "I'm guessing that Axel probably kept his promise and didn't tell Demyx the truth about why you left. So Demyx was probably hurt and confused - he probably blamed himself."

"How does that explain him wanting to protect me?" Zex asked me in the same neutral voice, though, his facial expression changed from looking at me as though I was mad to curious as to what I had to say. "How does it explain that he still... _loves_ me?"

I smiled, "because he wouldn't go through all this trouble otherwise." I told him, my voice now having the confident tone. "If he did blame himself, then he would want to protect you from the pain he brought when you two were together."

"But he didn't-"

"-I know." I agreed quickly, "but it also shows that he still loves you otherwise he would have went somewhere else. I think that by staying here, staying close, he got a sense of security because he knows that you're safe and coping well without him."

Zexion was looking out of the blank window, expressionless, before murmuring, "I haven't been coping." I almost didn't hear him but something told me that he wasn't even talking to me. "Not without him... and Axel, of course." Quickly, almost imperceptibly, Zexion shook his head. "Then why didn't Axel tell him that I've been looking for him? Why would Axel not tell me where he was? All that time he's been at that cafe, mere feet away from me. Axel's supposed to be my best friend, he's supposed to-"

"-Keep his promises." I interrupted, and the questioning gaze was back. "I don't think Axel likes playing piggy in the middle and I think that if it was choice then he wouldn't but you made him promise not to tell Demyx the truth behind you leaving right?" I didn't wait for his answer, "I bet Demyx did the same thing. Axel is just being a good friend and keeping his promises." Zexion looks as though he was contemplating my theory. "You have to talk to them both and find out the truth yourself, otherwise you'll never know." I finished encouragingly.

For the first time today, Zexion smiled a genuine smile. "You're a lot stronger than he thinks." He commented before revving the engine once more, and giving his full attention to the road ahead of us. "A _lot_ smarter too."

"I've decided to take it as compliment." I smiled warmly as Zexion he smiled a bit more and started to drive slowly again.

Then he sighed, smile vanishing completely and caused the same reaction from mine, "Any ideas where you think he'd be?"

I thought about it really hard and thoroughly once we were fully in the road again. "No." I answered honestly. "I can't think of any where else." But I'm not giving up. I can't.

I won't give up on him.

Zexion sighed in distress once more. "'To be forgiven'," he quoted Riku from earlier. "Who would he want to be forgiven by?"

I shrugged. "He wouldn't go to my house; he knows that he doesn't have to be forgiven by me. It's definitely not going to be his brother or cousins - he was so determined not to go home."

"What about Kairi and all your other friends?"

I shook my head. "Kairi is being punished: absolutely no visitors _otherwise_ you'd meet her mom's two Doberman guard dogs: Buster and Beastie."

"And the rest?"

I shook my head again. "Selphie's being punished also and Wakka's staying over Tidus' whilst Lulu is in hospital. I don't think Riku would be able to handle talking to either of them right now anyway, especially Wakka." I murmured the last part as an afterthought. But Zexion, with ears like a voice recorder, took in my words and cast a quick curious look at me before focusing on the road again.

"Wakka's the one who has a brother in Bevelle's Military Force right?"

"Right." I confirmed for him, trying to keep the sadness out of my voice. I didn't want to think about _that_ right now.

The intelligent blue eyed male picked up on my uneasiness and thankfully diverted the conversation. "Hypothetically, where would someone go if they wanted to be forgiven?" When I didn't give him an answer, he continued answering his own question. "A Temple." He suggested, "Maybe he wants to be forgiven by God."

I screwed up my face as I thought about his suggestion, and then dismissed the idea completely from my mind. "No," I said slowly, "Riku's never been really spiritual or religious. He wouldn't even go to a Temple with his pare-"

Zexion took my sudden silence as a bad thing and began to panic as his eyes looked hastily between me and the road. "What? What is it? What's wrong?"

"Where are we?" I questioned, ignoring his question.

"We've just past Midsummer Grove. Why?"

"Because I know where Riku is." I said distractedly. "You need to take a left here."

**:: ::**

"How did you know that he would be here?" The slate haired male asked once he shut the car door and took in our surroundings.

All I could do was shrug, "I don't know. It was just a feeling I got when you mentioned Temples." I murmured distantly as I looked around the dark area, forcefully trying to keep the creeps down to a minimum. I hated these places but if Riku was here I would find him because I have to. "I'm not even one hundred percent sure that he's here." We left the car and began walking towards the cemetery.

"I am." Zexion responded. I looked at him perplexed then my eyes followed off into the direction that he nodded off to.

Further up the road, from where we were parked, perched on the sidewalk, was a black Highwind car, stationary, in its lonely glory. I stopped walking towards the large iron gates of the cemetery and instead started to walk towards the black car. The driver's door was open but the car was empty - the only source of life in the machine was the engine still running and the music playing from the radio. I ran my fingers absently along the hood of the familiar car, the metal still hot and telling me that Riku wasn't that far away. Zexion walked in front of me and removed the key from the ignition, killing the car completely. Gently, he closed the car and locked it securely.

"It was one of his dad's most prized possessions." I murmured as I stroked the car. "He would always say 'You aren't a man unless you have a car like this'." I smiled as I reminisced about Riku's dad. Jared was like a modern Superman. He had a demanding job, being a lawyer, but he would _always_ be there for his family. He would do anything for them, he helped raise his sons into respectable gentleman and he worked hard to provide a good future for them. Jared wasn't like the typical sturdy lawyer. He was... understanding, fun and loyal to his promises. He was the type of dad who you could talk to, trust, and love unconditionally. Jared didn't try and buy love, he taught you the way how to earn respect and how to be a good person. Jared was just... exactly how you would expect a dad to be. Exactly what you would _want_ a dad to be. And it's just so unfair that he's been taken.

I was thankful when Zexion started speaking, bringing me out of my thoughts which would have definitely turned me into an emotional wreck. "It looks brand new," he noted.

"That's how Jared kept it. This car was supposed to be used for special occasions. Like Political parties or a trip to the finest restaurants in Destiny Island." I explained. "I remember the day they got it. They drove it over to our house straight away; we were only... twelve I think." The small smile I had on my face widened as I reminisced. "Jared told us that we could name it, but as usual, we had different ideas of what it should be called. Riku and I had one of our usual competitions to see who would have the privilege of naming the car. I came up with the fantastic name 'Excalibur', but Riku wanted to call it 'Highwind,' he said that it was 'more fitting'." I rolled my eyes but the smile was still there. "Anyway, we ended up spending half an hour eating lemons until one of us forfeited."

"So who won?"

I laughed lightly to myself, still looking and observing the immaculate condition of the car. "Well both mine and Riku's dads were the judges, and they were supposed to be fair. After thirty minutes worth of lemon eating, they called the whole thing to a stop and said that they breached a decision. Because I spat out the majority of my first lemon because I started laughing and Riku didn't necessarily _chew_ the lemon, just bit it and swallowed, we were both disqualified. So all that lemon eating was for nothing." I began to laugh again, "but to put the icing on that _sour_ cake was to find out that both our dad's had named the car already. They just wanted to put us both through some torture for the hell of it. Then they both laughed at the 'sour' faces we pulled at them. It wasn't long until Riku and I were laughing as well." I sighed, "It was nice, you know, everyone was just so... happy back then." Finally, I pried my eyes away from the car and onto Zexion who smiled warmly at me once I looked at him. It was then that I realized that I must have had a goofy smile on my face as I spoke about the past. "Sorry," I apologized quickly then shook my head to bring my mind back to the present. "I didn't mean to bore you."

"It was nice," he responded sincerely, "hearing about when you two were both happy together." Zexion made sure that the keys for the car were safely placed in his pocket before leading the way back to the open cemetery gate. Once we stepped through, our clothed feet stepping upon the land of the deceased, that unnerving feeling of 'the creeps' came flooding back to me. I can watch the films when they all come back to life and start attacking the living, but actually experiencing it and walking through one was a completely different thing and made me paranoid. Once again, Zexion spoke and I was grateful that he brought me out of my paranoid thoughts, "so, what did they end up calling the car?" he questioned as I lead the way to the familiar tombstones.

"Sienna," I told him, "After my mom. Riku and I both preferred that so…" I trailed off, not feeling one hundred percent comfortable talking about my mom. In case Zexion asked me a question about her, I quickly got there first, asking him one of my own. "You never _did_ tell me how you and Riku became friends."

"You never asked," he smirked knowingly but told me none the less. "As you know I moved to Destiny Islands two years ago right?" I nodded. "Well when I first got here, I had nothing and no one. All I knew was that it would be safe and that Dem would be safe. That was all that mattered to me. What you have to remember is that for the most part of my life, I've been brought up around crime and criminals. So I spent the first couple of days stealing food to survive – little things like fruit and clean water. I'm still ashamed now to be honest, despite the fact that I've paid back for all that I have stolen. Anyways, what I didn't know was that all this time there was someone watching me do all these things."

"Riku."

"Yes." He answered my non question. "Apparently Riku was watching me steal most of the food products from his cousins café. Though, he never did confront me about it."

"So… what happened?"

"Whenever he saw me approach the café, he would just give me the food and drink and then walk away, never saying a word. I thought that at first he was either mentally damaged _or_ thought I was someone else. I mean, I've never been in an environment where people commit selfless acts out of the goodness of their hearts. Especially for strangers. I was only sixteen but I wasn't stupid, I knew that he must have wanted _something_ from me. So I asked him why he was doing this all for me. Then he told me that he wanted to help - that he wanted to feel 'valid'. I turned down his offer for help; I felt like a person like me didn't deserve help from anyone."

"What did you do after that?"

"After that, I purposely avoided walking past the cafe and started going elsewhere for food and clothes. Riku, being the persistent guy that he is, had been following me the entire week I thought I had been deftly avoiding him. Unknowingly, he followed me back to where I was sleeping: on the beach, far out into the coast, underneath this old pier..." Our Secret Place. "...No one used to go there at night so no one ever questioned it I guess. So one of the nights, when I was back on the beach, I found two people waiting for me. One of them was Riku and he other was Auron. Riku told him all about me and what I've been doing and how I've been living. Due to the authority that Auron has, he was able to help me out tremendously. As I've said before, when you first met Auron, he helped me get a job, an apartment, into school and so one. But if it wasn't for Riku, then none of this would have happened to me. I would probably still be living on the beach otherwise."

During Zexion's story, I felt really bad for them both. I never thought once about what troubles Zexion had to encounter when he first arrived to Destiny Islands, Even in a peaceful world like this, it must have been hard to survive when he had nothing. Then Riku... he felt 'invalid' all that time. He felt like he needed to help and be there for someone, to feel... _something_. So in a way, they've saved each other and through that their friendship had begun. They were both no longer lonely hearts missing the ones they loved. They each had a friend. At least he had someone there for him.

I was too engrossed in Zexion's story to realize where my feet were leading us. "You said that Riku told Auron about you?"

"Correct."

"But the other day, Auron was asking me questions about Riku as though he didn't know him. But he does."

"Sora," Zexion started confused, "what is your question?"

"My question is how? How does Riku know Auron?"

Zexion stopped walking and caused me to do the same. "It's not my place to say." His arms folded themselves around his chest as he briefly brushed the bangs out of his bright blue eye for a quick moment before the slate strands took their normal place again.

"But-"

"-If you really want to know," he interrupted, "you could always ask him yourself." Once again, he nodded off into the direction where he wanted me to look. A tombstone buried into the ground about two hundred meters from where we stood. What was different about this tombstone however, though, was the figure huddled up against it. Whatever Zexion and I were discussing had completely vanished from my mind as my thoughts were now centred on the broken silverette. If I squinted my eyes against the dark surrounding, I could see that he was sitting with his back against the tombstone and his knees drawn close to him, safely wrapped by his arms. His head was buried in his knees, and I was instantly reminded of last night. Well no more! I'm going to be rid of this pain for the both of us. I looked back to Zexion who smiled warmly and encouragingly back at me. "I'll be right here if you need me." That was all I needed, so I nodded my thanks and set off for Riku.

While walking, thoughts that maybe I shouldn't be the one to be there for him came flying towards and hit me like a punch to the heart. It is my fault that he's in this state. If I had just followed him or talked to him the morning after then this probably would have never happened. Maybe it would be best if Zexion was to talk to him instead. What if I say or do the wrong thing? I've never seen him like this before and it hurts more to know that it _is_ my fault. So I've got to fix this. I have to.

I will.

Those thoughts of doubt disappeared once I stood in front of the closed teenager. I knew that Riku knew I was there so it seemed pretty pointless to disturb him. It was then that I realized that whatever I was thinking or feeling simply didn't matter anymore. All that mattered to me now was Riku. There was nothing I could or should say to him right now. Looking at him like that, so closed off from everything around him that I came to appreciate what he meant about needing 'time'. He needed time away from, not only everyday problems, but time away from himself. Time to reconnect with his past because he wants to atone for his future. Riku doesn't need anyone to talk and ruin the only time he's had peace for himself. Riku needs comfort and security within that comfort.

Wordlessly I seated myself next to him, with my back leaning against the back of his mom's tombstone and my knees drawn towards me. Riku didn't move once. I took this as a sign that he was okay with me being here. It was only the slight movements from him that told me he was still breathing but, other than that, the atmosphere was as silent as the grave.

The silence was comfortable, but there wasn't any comfort which we gave to each other. I needed him to know that I wasn't mad - that I didn't hate him. That I _do_ love him. After one quick breath of contemplating, I decided to show him that I _am_ still there for him by gently placing my head atop his shoulder, just like the night before. However what I didn't expect was for Riku to tilt his head back, against the tombstone, and allow my head better access. Riku stretched his legs out in front of him before resting his head above my own and gingerly wrapped an arm around my shoulder, bringing me that little bit closer to him.

I couldn't tell whether time was moving fast or slow while I was sitting with Riku. It just didn't matter. Riku mattered. His parents were buried beneath us, his own family treats him poorly, he feels alone and what more, he feels unloved. So time doesn't matter. Thoughts don't matter. Apologies don't matter. Riku matters.

Riku spoke after minutes of uninterrupted silence. I was glad to hear that his voice was back to normal instead of the hysteric one I heard hours ago. Even if it was just a whisper, I was thankful to hear it.

"I'm so tired." He claimed languidly, though, he didn't need to say it. I didn't question him about it, not that I needed to. I knew that he was tired. Tired of fighting, tired of running, tired of losing. Tired of feeling this way. No, he didn't need to say it. "Can we go back?" Something told me that he didn't just mean it in a literal sense.

I nodded weakly against his neck. "Sure," I said almost as quietly as he did.

We both got up from the ground, simultaneously, and started to walk back towards the car and Zexion silently. I made sure to keep within close contact of him while walking, but other than that, we didn't interact.

Zexion has already returned to Axel's car and had driven it closer to Riku's abandoned car and stepped out upon seeing us coming. The slate haired male walked towards us and took a quick look at Riku. It was clear by Riku's complete evasion of eyes and grimace that he didn't want to talk or explain. Zexion looked at me, in stead, maintaining the same neutral tone of voice and expression. "Thanks Sora. I thought that it would take at least another hour, but I am glad to see that the two of you are okay. I'll take you both-"

"-No." Zexion and I looked at Riku, who was staring impassively and directly into Zexion's blue eye. "I'm not leaving the car behind." He said blandly and held his hand out to take the keys he obviously knew the slate haired male had. He walked straight past Zexion then to his own car and unexpectedly hopped into the backseat of the car instead of the driver's seat.

Zexion watched me as I watched Riku anxiously. "Make sure you take care of him." He told me before patting me encouragingly on my shoulder then walking to Axel's car. "Remember." he called before opening the door. I managed a small wave to the slate haired male as he drove past me as a way to say thanks. Despite having enough on his plate to deal with, he set them all aside just to help find Riku.

Riku and I both owe him thanks.

Once he was out of eyesight, I sighed deeply and looked at the car with Riku in it. I sighed again for good measure because I knew that no matter how many times I mentally prepare myself, nothing can fully equip me for the upcoming conversation with Riku. I felt the creeps wash over me as I gave the cemetery one final glance. Hastily, yet still hesitantly, I made my way over to the late Jared's car and followed Riku into the backseat of the car. The silverette was sitting at the far end of the car, as far away from me as possible, staring outside the window, giving me a full head of silver strands to look at.

This standoffish behaviour was really starting to get to me. He was purposely trying to avoid talking to me or even look at me. Right now wasn't even about his mom or dad or time. Right now was about his stubborn attitude and amazing ability to refuse help and reason. And I'm too tired to deal with this. I looked out of my own respective window and took in the dark surroundings.

It wouldn't take me that long to walk home. Maybe an hour or two. Perhaps if I started walking now then Leon would spare me at least an _inch_ of my life before he attempts to kill me. It was false hope, of course, but I can dream can't I? But before I leave, I have to apologize. I didn't mean for any of this to happen and now that it has, I feel truly sorry for the pain I've caused.

With high hopes that he would listen, I sighed then began to speak softly. "Riku?" No answer. No movement. I continued nonetheless. "I know that you don't want to talk to me right now, but I need you to listen to me. I'm really sorry about last night. You needed a friend to confide in and I just... shut down. I think it was the shock but I know that I don't hate you. I really don't want you to be alone anymore but I understand if you want me to leave." Silence. No reply. No movement. Nothing. I exhaled understandingly then opened the car door. "I really am sorry Riku." I said finally and pushed the door open.

I managed to get one foot on the ground before a cold hand grasped my free wrist and I was staring into a painfully familiar face. "Please." Was all that was whispered and I found myself instantly shutting the door and moving closer to the silverette. That look, which was on his face, I remembered it so well. I thought - I _hoped_ that I would never have to see it again. Well, I couldn't even call it a facial expression; all the emotions were shown in his eyes. It was the same look he had at the funeral; his face was a perfect grimace but his eyes... they were different. You could see the pain and fear swimming around in the aquamarine pools, but you could also see the determination to keep the tears within the ducts, and most dominantly the remorse. I couldn't even look at him for more than a couple of seconds before I pulled him into a bone crushing hug with the intentions of comfort. Riku wrapped his arms around me instantly, holding onto me tightly as though I was about to disappear from his grasp at any given moment. "Don't be sorry." He said so gently that it could only be mistaken for a whisper. "I'm the one who should be sorry, Sora, about everything. About last night -"

"-Let's not talk about last night." I cut in and pulled slightly away from him. Our arms were still wrapped around each other but I needed to look at him. I needed to ensure that his eyes were back to normal. Hesitantly, his eyes found mine and I was relieved to see relief staring back at me. I smiled weakly, bringing my hand up to stoke away silver bangs from jade jewels. "Lets just sleep and we can talk tomorrow." I suggested hopefully, but Riku shot that idea down with a simple shake of the head.

"All we've talked about is me becoming a SOLDIER and me telling you that last night. But there was something else I told you, Sora, and I -"

"-Riku-"

"Mean it. I really do. I've tried everything to stop but I can't. I'm _tired_ of fighting this and running away from it. I'm in love with you Sora. I love you."

"Riku I lo-"

"Don't." He interjected and closed his eyes and when he opened them again, I could see that they were begging me. "Don't... don't say it... _please_." When I saw that _look_ return to his eyes, I quickly nodded in agreement. Why wouldn't he want to hear that I loved him too? "Thank you." He breathed, closing his eyes softly and sighing his relief. I couldn't have things the way they were. I didn't need to tell Riku that I loved him, but I did need to show him. Gently, I removed my arms from around him and cupped his soft face between my hands. His eyelids were slowly starting to rise and I knew that I had to act it would have to be before I saw that expression again. "Sor--" I didn't know whether he was about to say 'Sorry' or 'Sora' or better yet, I didn't care.

It was I who started to lean in closer, slowly, and carefully. I didn't want to scare him but I did _need _him to know how much he meant to me. I wanted to give Riku enough time pull out if he so chose, so by the time our noses were rubbing together, I could feel his chest rising onto my own and falling back quicker than usual. I didn't even acknowledge that mine was moving in an almost matching pace, lesser did I realize the tiny dose of adrenaline coursing through me. No. All that I could focus on was Riku's half lidded eyes and his warm breath ghosting over my lips. My eyes closed on their own as I moved in closer... closer...

Riku got there before me.

In less than a second, his hand was resting on the back of my spikes, knowingly brining me closer, as his soft, soft, _soft_ lips touched mine gently at first, then pressed a little more. As the sensation of his lips on my own began to grow, my lips began to move in sync with his in our first kiss. A feeling that I've never experienced before started building in my stomach and slowly started to spread throughout my system every time our eager lips would connect. All that could be heard throughout the car was the wet, sloppy noises of our lips or the tiny sighs that managed to escape. This... This _feeling_ was like northing I've ever felt before but I know that it was what we both needed and craved. It felt like a maelstrom of all these positive, _relieving_ feelings. It felt natural in a sense that this is what was supposed to happen, that this was right.

Riku's hand moved from my hair to my neck as he drew me in closer for one final kiss, his forehead rested against mine as we both tried to steady out our breathing. I didn't open my eyes and I don't think Riku did either. My hands moved from his face to around his body, as he did to me, and before we knew it we were hugging in the car. After a couple more beats of comfortable silence, we found ourselves seated so that Riku was leaning against the car door and my back leaned against his chest. This overwhelming sense of security washed over me as Riku wrapped his protective arms around me. His breath seemed to even out with mine and I began to return back to its normal pace. I sighed contently and tilted my head skywards to look up at Riku. He looked like he was struggling to say something and I had a feeling that an apology would be quick to leak from his unsure lips. Feeling bold, I moved my head forward to give him a meaningful, chaste, kiss. His lips seemed reluctant to leave mine as I pulled away, but when I did, he sighed and started to speak.

"Please," he whispered, willing his eyes to close and his arms to hold me tighter, "please don't let this be a nightmare."

I looked back at him confused and slightly hurt. "Why would this be a nightmare?" I thought that this is what we both wanted.

"Because... Because, every time I dream of this, I dream of our first kiss, you're gone once it's over, like you were never there, and I realize that I really _am_ alone."

I raised a hand to stroke the side of his face, gently, before taking hold of his chin so that he would face me. I waited for him to look at me, and I mean _really_ look at me so that I could decipher what it was that he was feeling. He could grimace all he wants, his eyes will always betray that expression. Just by looking at them I could tell exactly what he's feeling, and right now, staring into those beautiful teals, I could see what Zexion was talking about his being afraid of losing me, I remembered then his nightmare. I couldn't allow him to think and feel this way. I was afraid, myself, to tell him that I loved him in case I hurt him. It was obvious by his previous reaction that he _really_ didn't want to hear it, so I kept it to myself.

"I'm not going anywhere." I told him firmly. He looked at me as though he was starting to believe the words I was saying and I was awarded with a very small but visible lopsided smile. I smiled too and turned my face forward so that I could lean comfortably against his chest. At the same time that his fingers found mine and connected tightly, he leant forward and kissed the side of my cheek and the top of my spikes, whispering lightly to go to sleep. With a tightening of our joined hands and a final sigh, I added quietly yet defiantly, "I'm not leaving you Riku."

As though my promise took everything out of me, I fell completely lax against Riku's supportive frame. Not before long the serene silence was broken by light breathing noises coming from the sleeping silverette. I made sure that my hands were holding on securely to Riku's, and with a tingle lingering on my smiling lips, I joined Riku into a land of blissful slumber. Only this time, despite our awkward positions and cramped space, I was able to have one of the best nights sleep, and I didn't even have to dream.

Riku was already here with me.

Too bad my morning didn't start as nice as my night had ended.

**:: ::**

**[1] Chapter 4**


	18. You're Not Kissing Me Goodbye

**Hopelessly I'll Love You Endlessly**

**Disclaimer: **My time machine is my attic – but as soon as I get that baby working, _then_ we'll see who owns the game!

**AN****: **Y halo thar! Long time no see eh? Before there was no computer full stop, now there's college. Will it ever end? Good news though, I _actually_ like this chapter and I hope you guys do too! XD Thanks everyone who reviewed and alerted and faved. You guys freaking ROCK! *_Does 'Rock On' sign_*. Never ceases to make me happy to know that you guys like the fiction and I hope you enjoy the next chapter!

**Chapter Eighteen**

**You're Not Kissing Me Goodbye**

The vibration of the moving car, the following morning, was the inevitable disturbance of my peaceful slumber. The immensely bright sun leaked through the windows, making it near enough impossible for me to keep my eyes open for more than a second. Once they adjusted to the light, my heavy eyelids opened blearily to see that Riku was in the seat in front of me, and seemingly oblivious to me being awake. It took me a couple of blinks to focus my eyesight again, and when I did, I almost managed to find my voice.

"Riku?" I noticed his eyes quickly look at mine through the rear-view mirror before focusing on the road again. While scratching the back of my hair, I asked, "Where are we going?"

"I'm taking you home." It was short. Curt. Flat. He didn't look at me again and I started to grow nervous and curious.

"B-But I thought that after last night we could talk."

Riku sighed. "There was no 'last night'" As soon as he said that, whatever emotional high I was floating on from last night, came soaring down heavily and my head started swimming. "Nothing happened last night." That same flat tone. He sounded like he was forcing the words out, like they were on the road and he was just reading them out loud. Last night was too good to be a dream. What I felt was real – no one could conjure up that feeling that occurred to me when we kissed. No. That happiness was real, that _feeling_ was real, what happened last night was _real_. Why? Why was he saying these things?

"Why?" I managed to get out. I was too confused. This can't be happening, it just can't. No. I must still be dreaming. Yeah. That could be it. I'm still dreaming. Yeah. Dreaming.

Then why did this pain feel so real?

Not only did my head feel like it was swimming, but so did my heart. It was as though someone had tied a rope around it and attached the rope to an anchor, dropping my heart into this sea of emotions. All negative. All getting the better of me. Then there was my head: swamped with all these thoughts constantly telling me how stupid I was and that maybe last night really didn't happen. That Riku really didn't want me. That it was just a beautiful dream. That I was crazy. That I was wrong. That I was right. That last night _did_ happen. But it was the voice of Riku that dominated the ones in my head as I tried to listen to his explanation.

Another sigh, "last night was a mistake." He said blandly, though, there was something underlying in his voice that suggested that he didn't really mean that. Or maybe I'm just riding on that last ounce of hope. I found myself struggling hard with his words, but not as hard as it was to keep the tears firmly behind my eyes. As Riku spoke, my hand absently found its way to my seatbelt and clutched at the fabric covering my heart, a feeble attempt to keep the organ from breaking completely. "I'm sorry that I kissed you Sora, I shouldn't have done that. I know why you did it – why you kissed me back – and I really do appreciate it, really, even if it was out of pity or to get me to calm down. I just… It didn't happen alright? We didn't kiss. We didn't… Nothing happened."

Even if he did say anything after that, I couldn't decipher it from the taunting voices running wildly through my head. 'Nothing happened,' those words droned continuously through my mind along with all the other thoughts while everything else was swimming around me, making me feel sick and dizzy. It just needed to stop. Riku needed to stop. These thoughts needed to stop. This horrible feeling needed to stop. Everything needed to slow down and

"Stop."

Now Riku decided to look back at me, serious and concerned eyes looking at me through the rear-view mirror. "Are you oka-?"

"Stop."

Worriedly, but with no further hesitation, Riku pulled over the car to the side of the bridge which looked over most of Destiny Islands. Seatbelt unclasped, my shaking hands hastily opened the door and I hurriedly got out of the vehicle. Air. This air was good. Calming even, and helped me to breathe a little easier. But not even the relaxing morning air could calm and cease my raging thoughts. I gripped the edge of the rail of the bridge, with both hands, and inhaled the salty seas simple scent, hoping that it would give me the confidence that I needed to speak again. The car door shut somewhere behind me and I could feel Riku's footsteps approaching me. He couldn't even get a breath in before I started speaking, my eyes fixated on the Play Islands ahead and my voice was struggling to remain normal.

"I don't understand," I said. "Why are you doing this?"

"You don't want me Sora. You dese-"

"Don't-" I stopped him as firm as I could. "-finish that sentence." I didn't want to hear that I deserve better and that he's no good for me. I know that he _is_ good for me. Something is telling me that this is right – That Riku is right and I'm not giving up on this. "I didn't kiss you out of pity or anything like that. I kissed you back because it felt right and I _know_ how I feel about you. I don't want to forget about last night, Riku, it meant so much to me and I thought that it did to you too."

"It did, Sora, you have no idea how happy it made me feel just to _think_ that you probably felt the same way." Riku turned to look at me, to show me that he was serious, but I couldn't look at him just yet. "I felt so happy when I woke up," he placed both hands on my shoulders then gently turned me so that I would look at him in his sincere and hurt eyes. "So happy," he repeated. "I must've sat there for at least an hour, playing with your hair, and not worrying or thinking, just allowing myself to feel like this."

As Riku's hands returned to his sides, I had to ask, "So if you were happy, why don't you want to be with me?"

"Because I felt it too." Riku answered as he wiped away my tears with his smooth thumb. Damn it, why can't these tears stay hidden where they belong? "In the kiss, I could feel that you _do_ like me, that this is _more_ than a kiss. Then the happiness was gone because I knew that I would hurt you." I started to shake my head loosely and helplessly and as a response, Riku nodded. "I would. You know that I would." He told me with such confidence in his words that it made me want to scream. "Don't you see? Do you realize what I'm about to become? I deserve no one. People like me are supposed to be on their own." I couldn't believe the words which were actually falling from his lips. It didn't sound like Riku. He doesn't think like this; he knows everyone deserves a fair chance.

This wasn't Riku talking. It sounded more like something Sephiroth would say.

Realization has never hit me so hard, like an impatient slap to the face, as I came to understand _why_ Riku was really doing and saying all these things: Sephiroth.

Sephiroth is the reason Riku and I missed out of four years worth of friendship. Sephiroth is the reason Riku is joining SOLDIER, thus, being ashamed of himself. Sephiroth is the reason nearly everyone turned on him, but what he's failed to realize is that Riku is not a toy – a puppet – he's a human and the damage he has caused can be healed. Just as long as Riku has the people who will always be there for him, he'll be alright.

"I'm sorry." That apology had me out of my concluding thoughts and to the reality of the genuine remorse in his beautiful aquamarine eyes.

I tore my eyes away from his to look back out at the Play Islands. Riku seemed to follow my gaze as he, too, looked out at out childhood getaway. "You know," I started somewhat boldly, "I see why you think you're similar, but you're not."

"Who are you talking about?" He asked me confusedly.

"You and that Island over there," I answered distractedly, as though I was trying to figure something out. "To be separated from everything and everyone and still survive by yourself, without needing any support and contact, only works when there is no life in whatever is being isolated. You don't have to keep running Riku; you don't have to be lonely, because I will always follow and be there for you."

Riku smiled, though it was a sad, apologetic smile. "You can't make that promise, just the same as I can't to you."

"But you have!" I retorted somewhat desperately. "You've _always_ been there for me and I… I never knew – I never got to really thank you. I never…" I didn't even feel embarrassed when I started to sob lightly. I didn't want Riku to see how much this was hurting me, but I refuse to hide my emotions. "I never got the chance to-" I couldn't even finish my sentence as Riku forced my face into his shoulder and wrapped his arms around me, embracing me tightly, as I clung onto the fabric of his top. "I don't want to lose you." I whispered, thinking he didn't hear me.

"I never wanted to lose you either." He murmured into my ear, holding me closer, but the sound of his voice indicated that he was about to contradict his previous statement.

He kissed the top of my cheekbone before I raised my head, from his tear soaked t-shirt, to stare at him again. I could see that he was asking me to understand, to not make this more difficult for the pair of us. Though, what hurt the most was that I could see he how much he regretted kissing me; that he wished he could take it all back. His perfect lips parted to say something that I knew I wouldn't want to hear, so without any sign or warning, I forced my lips onto his own as gently as I could so that I could still maintain the tenderness that kisses should uphold. I didn't realize that I was gripping the front of his white vest shirt until I felt my blunt fingernails digging into the skin of my palm. I put everything into this kiss because Riku _is_ everything to me. I'm not about to lose him, I can't lose him…

I won't lose him.

Suddenly, I felt bad for forcing him into the kiss, it was obvious that he wasn't expecting it and even more obvious that he didn't want it as he didn't respond. Feeling like a spontaneous fool, and a little bit heartbroken, I pulled back from the kiss, instantly regretting forcing Riku into something he didn't want. However, my lips barely managed half a second of no contact before Riku's lips were on them again, this time responding with such gentle intensity that the tiniest, unheard moan made its way past my sealed lips. With one arm wrapped around my waist and the other on the back of my neck, Riku continued to kiss me, not caring about the cars driving past and people in them watching us, and not caring about whatever protest was about to befall his lips.

That warm feeling returned to my insides the second I felt the soft impact of his lips on mine. Though, it started to slowly fade when he left me with one final peck and then pulled away completely. Riku moved his face so that it was just our noses touching, not wanting anymore space than that between us. With both arms now around me, like I was doing to him, Riku sighed, then murmured, "you know why we can't do this Sora. He… he won't let us be together."

"Don't you see?" I said, slightly frustrated and pulled away completely so that I could look at him. "There's nothing more that he can do. You're already leaving this world in a couple of months and four years has been lost all because of your big brother." I didn't miss the way he flinched as my voice grew more irate and desperate at the same time. This time the tears reached my eyes, but my determination to keep them behind and locked in place won. I couldn't let him see me cry again, not again. Soon my anger and frustration died down, and all that was left was my determination and desperation. "I am literally begging, _begging_, you Riku to not do this. You can't just walk out on me – on _us_. I don't want to hear your apologies and I don't want to hear that you can't – or that, that – I don't _know_! I just want you to tell me that it'll be fine. That _we'll _be fine, because I can't… I can't do this by myself."

His expression said it all. That was all that was needed to deepen the ever growing crack in my heart, consequently breaking the organ completely. Now the tears could fall and the emotions could be laid bare for all to see. Not that I could have helped it, of course, if it was up to me then it would have been a brave face, a face to show that I was okay, even if it was feigned and would have lasted a couple of moments, I wouldn't be showing how much this really got to me. Because I knew that whenever I did, Riku would feel it. He would feel exactly what I'm feeling and then some, such as guilt. I couldn't even look at him. My hands went straight to my face to wipe away the tears, knowing that if I left them there for too long Riku would only dispose of them and I didn't want his smooth hand to touch my numb skin.

There was no hesitation, though, when Riku pulled me into another embrace, appropriately placing my head on his shoulder and for the second time in less than five minutes allowed my sobs to soak on his top. Gently, he tightened his arms and absently rocked us oh so slightly and lightly to the side. "I'm sorry Sora, so _so_ sorry." His whispered voice kept his current emotion at bay, but I knew that whatever it was that I was feeling, Riku was experiencing tenfold. "_So sorry_."

I didn't return the gesture of the embrace and when I felt brave enough, I pulled away from him, tear soaked blue meeting with tear threatening teal. He let go of me, a tight grimace marring the beauty. "Can you take me home now please?" There was only one way to describe my tone: defeated. I had given up. For the second time I have given up on something special that Riku and I share _again_. But this time… I'm just willingly walking away from it, allowing it to fly right past me as though it was a feather in the wind. Accepting that this was real, that I have new memorable memories to laugh and cry about, was something that I could do on my own. Not with Riku right in front of me, looking at me with _so_ many emotions that I got so tired just from looking at him.

A sad smile. "Sure," he said uneasily, but complied nonetheless. No longer able to look at Riku, I turned around began to make my way to Jared's car, my vision blurred and my heart no longer feeling like it was beating anymore. I planned on sitting in the back seat but my hand barely managed to touch the metal door handle before his larger hand enclosed around mine and his entity was pressed against mine. Slowly, he pried my hand away from the handle as my breath began to hitch slightly at the close contact of us. Before I could even question him about what he was doing, he questioned harshly against my neck, "you swear? You _swear_ you care about me Sora?"

Shakily, tiredly and most importantly _instantly_, I found myself answering his desperately asked question. "Of course I do."

Riku then spun me round, teal eyes desperately searching the deep blue for some sort of security and honesty within my words. I meant them _so_ much but I couldn't handle all these mixed emotions and signals that I was getting from Riku. It was like being on an unstable hot air balloon with him: one minute we're so high, looking over everything without a care in the world, and then within the next couple of minutes, we're slowly crashing towards the ground, ready to face the end of our experience. But when Riku's lips sought out mine in a desperately needed kiss, thoughts that weren't surfacing around him were thoughts that were lost to me. At first my mind told me not to kiss him back, that it would only result in him hurting me again, but the beating started to return to my broken heart, as though the kiss was an act of resuscitation brining the organ back to life.

Riku broke the kiss, only for the quickest second to push me against the car, then his lips were back on mine, hungrily attacking them as his arms wound their way around me. I kissed him back with the same amount of fervor, wrapping my arms around his waist and wanting this feeling to not end. When Riku tried to pull away from the kiss, my lips followed his on their own accord and pecked them before he could get away, I didn't even need to open my eyes to find them. Kissing him felt so right, so natural and each time our lips met was like the first time we kissed to me. That feeling would return in my stomach and everything else just melts away, it would feel so foreign at first, but just so… so _right_. Riku pecked me on the lips one last time before leaving them with a soft sigh.

Though my eyes were already shut, I didn't stop myself from looking down at the ground. I knew what he was going to say to me. He would apologize about this whole thing, over and over again, before telling me that he couldn't stop himself and that he should have never played around with my emotions. Then, instead of telling me that we can't be together and that it's better for me this way, he'll avoid any conversation and tell me that he's taking me home. It's not that Riku was predictable (far from it), but I knew how he operated. I knew that he thought he was doing what's best for me. Because that's the way he was, and that's the way he'll always be.

My fingers were reluctant to accept his hands ginger hold, obviously some parts of my body were still listening to my mind's command, but even they gave in and held onto his tightly. Unexpectedly, Riku dipped his head low so that he could place a chaste kiss on my unresponsive and unprepared lips. "Sora, look at me."

I shook my head quickly, salty droplets still falling from my eyes. I palmed them away and exhaled a shaky breath, still keeping my face focused on the ground with my eyes tightly shut. Did he not know what he was doing to me? One minute telling me that he loved me, and then the next telling me that we couldn't be together. Then… kissing me like none of this ever happened. I couldn't keep up with any of it - my heart isn't some rubber ball that he could just throw around and amusedly watch it go up and down in the process. I knew that if I did look into those scenic aquamarine orbs, then I would be fooled. Fooled into thinking that there was still some hope for us, that this nightmare – _his_ nightmare would be just that: a nightmare. But hope, in this case, is just a nice fallacy to have. There was no hope in this situation, just pain from the heartbreak.

"Please Sora." I shook my head again, forcing myself to ignore his forlorn plea. Riku then began to plant sweets soft kisses wherever he could on my face: my cheek, nose, forehead and wherever else he could manage other than my lips. Alternatively using his mouth to wipe away my salty tears that wouldn't stop falling. I tried not to enjoy them, tried to focus on the little voice in my head telling me that this would only result in this all ending bad for me, but I couldn't help it. "Please." I couldn't hold it back any longer; I just _had_ to look at him. At a very slow pace, I lifted my head and opened my eyes, immediately staring at grimace. Hands still holding onto one another, Riku gave a firm squeeze as he spoke.

"Losing you is what I've been afraid of the most and it seems that no matter what I do – or what I'm _supposed_ to do – I end up losing _and_ hurting you. I can't stand it! I can't stand being the reason why you're in pain. I know that you don't want to hear it Sora, but you _do_ deserve more than what I am, what I put you through." Riku could tell that I wanted to argue back so he quickly shook his head and continued speaking, determined to get me to listen. "I don't want to hurt you anymore Sora. I love you and I want to be with you." I waited for the 'but' that I knew would have been quick to follow, and when I didn't get one, just a smile from Riku, the beating in my heart was in full swing as it just hit me what he was trying to say. "But…" and there it was. I sighed, looking away once more, "…Only if you want to be with me as well."

"You mean…?" My expression matched my tone: zealous, incredulous and surprised beyond belief.

He nodded, smile stretching, "I want to be with you Sora. That is… if you'll still have me."

Overtaken by joy, I relaxed heavily against the car I was sandwiched between, and didn't fight the biggest smiles that appeared on my face. "You… really mean this." It wasn't a question but it was still spoken with disbelief. Riku was _finally_ not running. He was doing what he wanted to do, what he knows would make him happy and for that I'm so proud of him. He's finally going to be able to live his life. "You want to be with me."

"I want to be with you." Riku confirmed then dipped his head forward and captured my lips in a reassuring kiss. My eyes closed momentarily at the feeling of me kissing him then his lips were gone, leaving me to whimper slightly.

"I want to be with you too." I breathed and relished in the sound of his smooth chuckle. Words could not describe how _good_ I was feeling right now. It felt like I had found the light through the dark tunnel I knew I would have been traveling down and at the end of the tunnel was my angel.

My Riku.

Riku pulled me into a hug, wrapping both his strong muscles around me and nuzzling his face into my neck, placing a simple kiss on the exposed flesh. I managed to keep the shudder at bay as I returned the embrace by mimicking his arms actions. Neither of us needed to speak or say anything, it was nice being there and with each other. This was it. This finally happening for me – for both of us – and _nothing_ right now could ruin this perfect moment. We were together now and that's all that mattered. It would be impossible to tell how long we were like that for, but I knew that it must have been quite a long time because when Riku spoke he said, "We should start heading back."

"Can't we just stay here?" I was so comfortable with our positions that I didn't want to move. "I don't want to go back just yet."

Unfortunately, Riku pulled away from me despite my protests to keep him near and placed a chaste kiss on my lips before smirking, though the smile was still lingering there. "Judging by both mine and your watches, we've got less than an hour before we're deemed as late from school. And I don't think Leon would appreciate it if I made you late for that as well."

Oh No.

Leon. I totally forgot about him _and_ Roxas. Not even Roxas knew where I went last night, and if Leon questioned him about it and got no straight answer, then it looks like death isn't the only form of punishment heading my way. Leon was probably up all night, no doubt, waiting for me to come home while Roxas probably assured him that he was going to bed but stayed in my room all night waiting for me to return. After all, I would have done the same for them so I couldn't blame them if they did. Once it registered in my mind that I was going home to face the frightening music of my brother's wrath, I immediately thought of Riku and what he would have to face once he got home. The silverette walked around the car, to the drivers seat, and was about to open the door, but my voice halted his actions.

"Wait. What about you? What are you going to do?"

Riku could tell what I was implying and sighed softly, giving me a sweet reassuring smile. "I'm going to go home. I think that after nearly three days of going A-WOL that I returned, you know? Don't worry; nothing's going to happen to me. I can handle them." I wanted to believe in Riku's words so badly, but something was telling me that it wouldn't be as easy as that. However, I didn't get to press the matter as Riku slid into the vehicle and prompted me to do the same.

The car ride back to my house was so silent that it wasn't even uncomfortable. We were both lost in our own thoughts that speech wasn't needed. I kept on thinking about how others would perceive our relationship. Leon wouldn't really care much, as long as I would be happy and safe. Roxas wants me to be happy, as well, just not with Riku. It'll shock Tidus and Wakka as they wouldn't expect me to be with another man, but I know that they would accept it and accept me and Riku. Selphie would be over the moon to discover that I've finally found someone, whether or not it is with another guy and Riku for that matter. As for Kairi… I really don't know how the wine redhead would take it. I mean, she's still my best friend (despite the fact that we're currently not speaking), and I know that deep down she would be happy for me. But… it was no secret that in the past that she had a crush on both Riku and I, and even though that was all in the past, who knows how she'll react to it. I _really_ hope that she is okay with me being in love with someone else, a man for that matter who she too used to crush on, because it would devastate me if she didn't. It would devastate me, but it wouldn't be enough to deter me away from the silverette again. Nothing can pull me away from him now.

Being lost in my own thoughts made the journey back to my house seem shorter than what it really should be. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to him just yet. Riku pulled up into my driveway and parked his car right behind Leon's new one and Clouds bike. Inside I was still over the moon happy, but at the same time I was also sad because I knew that now we had to leave each other for Gods knows how long. As Riku is a senior, today is his last day at high school whilst the rest of us still have the rest of the week to complete. His day today will be pretty hectic, so there's a good chance that I won't even be able to sneak a glance at him today. He killed off the engine and looked at me, wiping a couple of stray hairs from my face and smiling serenely at me.

I couldn't help but ask, "When will I see you again?"

Riku sighed but the smile didn't falter any, obviously he had been expecting this question as he answered honestly. "I don't know, but I can promise you that it will be soon."

I was still worried about what would happen to Riku once he returned home to his psychotic brother and cousins. "Can't you just stay here and get ready? You could have a shower and I'm sure some of Leon's old clothes will fit you."

Riku chuckled. "We've only had a couple of kisses and you're already asking me to move in with you?" He joked lightly and I couldn't even describe how good it felt to hear Riku laugh like that. Even though I knew I was blushing, I was still happy and didn't bother fight it. Riku started to stroke the side of my face in as a smooth, adorning notion. "You know that I've got to go home. Things will get worst if I don't." Riku quickly caught the look on my face and quickly added, "not that things _are_ bad, it's just if I don't return then who knows what they'll do? I don't want to make them worry about me like you and Zex and all the others did last night."

I didn't miss the look of regret on Riku's face as he mentioned the slate haired male's name. "They're not going to be angry at you, you know?" I assured him with a rhetorical question. "They're just going to be glad that you're okay. But for safe measures, you better go to them in person and apologize." As I said this he took hold of my available hand and held onto it with his own, only breaking eye contact with me to blink. I smiled, it felt so right to have my hand in his own; like it was supposed to be this way: hand in hand while we face our fate and live our destinies. "I'm not angry with you," I said, bowing my head a little, "I just don't want to see you go again."

His thumb ran absently over the back of my hand in a comforting manner. "I don't want to go either, but I have to. We'll see each other soon, I promise."

I smiled and closed my eyes briefly as I remembered that he only made promises that he could keep. "It's a promise then." When I opened them again, Riku was smiling down at me, teal eyes showing joy and the smile still not removed from his beautiful face. "I guess I should get going then huh?" Riku nodded reluctantly, not wanting to depart either. I was just about to swivel around so that I could open my door, but then I remembered something. With a smile, I asked, "I don't even get a goodbye kiss?"

Riku laughed that soft chuckle and said, quite quietly, "I would, but Leon's gaze is making me… _cold_." He whispered the last word, but _I_ was the one who froze.

Crap. Leon.

My eyes must have widened to the size of two tennis balls when Riku revealed to me that he was watching us through the window that my back was facing. Upon seeing that I sure as hell wasn't going to do it, Riku electronically wound down the window so that we could hear whatever Leon had to say. I still didn't turn around. Maybe if I stayed like this then he would only talk to Riku. Riku was much better at handling situations than me; he had a way of maintaining his cool. I didn't. I cracked like an egg in a vice and we all knew it.

"Riku." Leon greeted as nonchalant and as stoic as ever.

"Leon." Riku responded with the same tone, though his seemed a little more friendlier. Through my now squinted expression I could see that Riku was smirking, looking directly at me as he tried to hold back his laughter. It hit me then that whatever conversation Riku and Leon would have immersed themselves in was over. I could feel Leon's heated glare burning a hole in the back of my neck, so without taking the risk of him calling my name, I turned around on my own and prepared myself for 'Morning Leon.'

My eyes were still screwed shut by the time I actually managed to face him, and the minute that I opened them I instantly regretted it. Immediately I understood what Riku meant when he said that Leon's stare made him feel '_cold_'. It was cold enough to freeze hell over and I had to force down the shiver that was just begging to be released. Putting all of my strength into my signature cheesy smile, I said with false enthusiasm to cover up the obvious fear I had in my voice, "_Heeeey_ Leon!" The nervous laughter I added on the end must have really put the final nail in my coffin. Nervously I began scratching the back of my neck, most likely making the entire thing red by how hard and fast I was doing it. Somewhere behind me I heard Riku laugh, and for once I did not want to hear it. If I wasn't so afraid that Leon would twist my neck the minute I turned it, I would have glared at the silverette. The sadistic little –

"You're going to be _so_ sorry. You know that right?" I nodded immediately, watching how those grey eyes stormed from a cold weather look to lightning and thunderbolts in less than a second while he spoke; still able to maintain that neutrally calm voice which always made me apprehensive about what he was about to do or say. "When you come back from school today, I don't want to hear that you're tired, that you're angry, that you've been having a bad day or any of that crap. I don't even want to hear it when I'm making you do your punishment. Got it?" I quickly nodded again at his rhetorical question. "Come on, you haven't got long until school begins and I am _not_ taking you."

"Okay," I said, finally managing to find my voice, and watched as Leon turned around to give Riku and I some privacy to say goodbye, but not leaving the car's side. I then turned to Riku and looked at his amused expression with half a growl and half a smile. Playfully, I punched his arm. "You could have stuck up for me you know?"

Riku shrugged, "I know," he smiled. "But it's been so long since I've seen you cower in front of your brother, I just _had_ to see it again."

I rolled my eyes, "Well it looks like there's going to be a lot more where that came from." Riku laughed, I couldn't believe that he was actually finding this funny, but then again, if I wasn't so scared of what Leon was capable of, then I would be laughing to. "Did you see the look in his eyes? I'm telling you for one quick moment I saw Satan in there." Riku laughed heartier and the sound was like sweet longing music in my ears, I couldn't help but laugh too, though, the minute I did, Leon cleared his throat loudly, signaling for me to hurry up (Or that he wanted my punishment to start as soon as possible). I sighed, "Guess I better go then."

"Yeah," he said. Knowing that it would have been uncomfortable and indecent for us to kiss with Leon standing right behind me, we opted for a hug instead. I inhaled once more that fantastic naturally fresh scent of Riku and relished in the smell, wondering briefly when I would be able to be this close to him again. "I love you Sora." He breathed into my ear deeply, and for the umpteenth time today, my eyes closed at the sensation.

We pulled away then looked into each other's eyes. "I l-"

"-See you soon." He interjected softly, and it was at that precise moment that the little spark of self control died out in Leon as he opened the car door and undone my seatbelt for me. Patience was something that both he _and_ Roxas lacked.

"Yeah," I found myself saying, slightly confused. This was the second time he's prevented me from telling him how I really feel, and I want to know why. Why doesn't Riku want to hear that I love him? Why is he so determined not to hear the three words that _Gods_ knows how long I've wanted to hear from him? His smile was the last I saw of him before I exited the car and closed the door behind me.

"See you Riku." Leon stated as he peered down into the car door and waved the silverette goodbye. So he can be polite to other people in the morning, but _Gods forbid_ that he is to his own little brother – the good twin might I mention. Whether or not Riku answered him vocally or with a wave, I was not sure, but I knew that I was already feeling only slightly void of something when I watched him reverse out of the driveway and out of my street.

Leon then put his fleece clad arm around my shoulder (No matter what weather the morning brought, Leon would always be seen in his black fleece robe with an outline of a lion imprinted on the back. Though as mad as it sounds, I know that if someone did bizarrely make a leather one, he would wear that instead) and guided me back to towards the house. I looked up at his tired yet neutral face. "Leon?"

"Hm?"

"I really am sorry about making you wait up and worry. I know that I should have called or something and I really am sorry." I repeated for good measure, hoping to get the message across that I was being totally honest and sincere.

Leon sighed as we approached the door and sighed, looking at me with his eyes adapting a more understanding look. "I know why you were gone Sora, and I don't blame either of you for it. Just, I need to hear from _you_ that you're okay. Not any of your friends or Roxas."

"Who told you I was okay?"

"Roxas didn't have a clue where you went last night, so Zexion came around about two in the morning to tell me where you were and what happened." I made a mental note to thank Zexion repeatedly the next time I saw him. "I like him," he stated about the slate haired teen, "he's responsible." I nodded once more, but this one didn't feel as direct and forced as my previous nods to my elder brother. Leon smiled slightly before rustling my hair and walking through the threshold. Calling over his shoulder as I followed in after him, "If you think I'm going to be bad, then you should see Roxas."

I made a face of instant regret. Roxas. He was going to slay me for sure. My final week of school hadn't even begun yet, and I already feared that I wouldn't see the start of my summer vacation. Leon walked though the hallway and was about to enter his room but my voice quickly stopped him. "Leon?" He turned around, his grey eyes finding my slightly nervous expression. "My punishment… it's not going to be _that_ bad is it?"

Leon smirked. "No." He answered then entered into his room. I relaxed just that tiniest amount and turned around, only to be met with a harsh glare from Roxas.

"It's worse."


	19. Out of Touch

**Hopelessly, I'll Love You Endlessly**

**Chapter Nineteen**

**Disclaimer: **Well, the Christmas period is approaching us all soon, so I guess the extra wonga I could get for claiming Kingdom Hearts as my own could help. :( But seeing as I'm too broke to even afford Christmas cards, let alone a gazzilion dollar law suit and fine from Square-Enix, I'm just going to say that I don't own the game.

**AN:** You have no idea how bad I feel that the last time I updated was all the way back in October a year ago. I really do feel so disappointed in myself and I promise you that not a day went by when I didn't think about this fiction and you BEAUTIFUL readers and reviewers. You all know about the battle with my mum, working computers and myself, but I can gladly say that that war seems to be over and I've already made progress with Chapter Twenty. :O OVER ONE HUNDRED REVIEWS! I genuinely never thought that this fiction would never make it beyond ten reviews, I'm being dead serious. THANK YOU SO MUCH! ALL OF YOU! When I got a new computer and saw how many of you had reviewed it, I was over the moon. Also, I've got some new readers (probably not anymore LOL) but I am eternally grateful for EVERYONE who is reading, reviewing, alerting and putting this fiction on their favourites. I've had a really crappy and stressful couple of days, so some reviews would put the biggest smile on my face and speed up the process of the next chappie ;).

Oh, and for those who haven't, I would suggest that you reread the fiction because there has been content in this chapter and future chapters that will have references from the previous chapters. Also, it would help refresh your mind about HILYE as well :). Thanks again! And I'm sorry if there were any reviewers that I didn't reply to, I get confused sometimes, but I'm going to keep on top of things from now on.

AAAANNNNNDDD Before I forget! **Galpetto** and**Pinzoccano **you guys make me freaking laugh! Thanks for your reviews. And thanks also to **Aoki**, I would have replied to your review by sending a private message, but my timing is off by like a year, LOL, so this was the alternative way of thanking you.

**Out of Touch**

"Can you smell that guys? Can you smell that sweet sleek drop on your knees scent of freedom?"

Tidus beamed the same morning, both sets of pearly whites gleaming broadly and sky blue eyes showing nothing but happiness. Selphie and I were the only ones with him this morning, the seniors last official school day was last Friday, that's why Wakka was absent. No one knew where Kairi was. Neither Selphie nor I had to ask Tidus what he was referring to. Ever since that ridiculous school uniform rule was forced upon us two weeks ago, Tidus had been the one to complain relentlessly the most about them. The blonde would complain about the colors, the material, how they made him feel cold, how they overheated – there was even this one time when he was certain that they made him look fat. It was bizarre. But now that we've served our time for a crime we didn't commit and the rule had been lifted, Tidus, like everyone else, was celebrating the death of them.

The blond was wearing a bright blue v-neck t-shirt and a pair of long white shorts to go with his sneakers. Selphie was dressed in a yellow string stop and electric blue shorts. I wore a red short sleeve button up shirt with and a pair of long jean shorts. We weren't the only ones to dress up brightly, though. Everyone seemed to be wearing the brightest, most colorful clothing that they had.

"Tidus, I swear to Ifrit! If you sniff the inside of your shirt one more time…" Selphie said warningly, leaving the rest of her threat to imagination. "And _you_ mister," she turned to look and point at me with curious green eyes, "why do you keep smiling? You haven't stopped all morning."

"Oh have I?" I really didn't know that I was until Selphie pointed it out. Tidus and her nodded at my question. I wasn't entirely surprised by it though; every time I got a minute alone in my head, my thoughts would immediately retreat back to the events of this morning. The events with Riku. When he told me that he wanted to be with me, I wanted to tell everyone close to me about this news, but I knew I couldn't. It took a lot for Riku to allow this to happen, and I knew that a lot of people knowing about this relationship before _we've_ even had a chance to talk about it would only frustrate him. So, it's best to keep this to myself for now. "I'm just excited to go to this graduation tonight, that's all." It wasn't actually a lie. I was genuinely looking forward to see both Wakka and Riku graduate, along with Axel and Zexion.

"Same here buddy," Tidus agreed. "Lu asked us to record it for her because she can't be there. I'll be the one to do it as you, Selphie, can't even work your phone, and you're the dropper of the bunch Sora."

"_Hey!_" Both Selphie and I whined in protest.

"I just hope the big oaf doesn't screw it up," Tidus said, ignoring Selphie's glare and my pout. However, there was truth in what he just said, Wakka did have the tendency to screw up during big events, but I had faith that he wouldn't. "It's a shame Lu won't be there though."

"And by the look of it, neither will Kairi." Both sets of blue eyes turned to look at the petite brunette. "No one's heard anything from her since we last visited Lu in hospital," she continued then turned to look at me. "I know that it wasn't your fault, Sora, but you've got to apologize to her. You know what she's like after your arguments about Riku. It makes things so awkward for us, Sora."

This wasn't the first time this morning that I had thought about Kairi. She's my best friend and I should be excited to tell her the news about Riku and me, not scared. I should look forward to seeing her after going three whole days without any communication and I should want to talk to her and tell her everything, not apologize and pretend that there isn't a problem. Every time, _every time_, Riku is the subject of our arguments, the only way Kairi and I make up is by apologizing and forgetting about the whole thing until it is brought up again. To some that may seem perfectly fine and acceptable, but to me it's not. For too long we've been in this cycle which needed to be broken years ago. Apologizing and forgetting doesn't work if the problem hasn't been resolved. We've never talked about it, just argued and argued. But if we actually talked about _why_ we argue, _why_ it hurts for her to talk about Riku and _why_ it hurts me when we don't, then maybe we could find a way out of this cycle and come to an understanding of each other. It is important to me that we get this sorted out now because things have changed. Riku is no longer a dormant part of my life, and hopefully all of their lives as well.

"Sora?" The small brunette called, looking at me concernedly.

I gave her a reassuring smile and a pat on the head. "Don't worry guys, I'll talk to her but I'm not making any promises about the outcome."

"Don't you guys usually say sorry, kiss and then make up?" Asked Tidus, somewhat confused.

I nodded my head, "yeah but this time I'm actually going to talk to her about this. It's been going on for too long now and I know that this is what you guys really want, right?"

"Well, yeah," Tidus started, "but why the change of heart now?"

I sighed and shrugged at the same time. "I guess it's because tonight is his graduation too. It would be awkward for us when his name is called and we're not cheering or clapping or anything. I mean, if it were _my_ graduation, then I would appreciate you guys supporting me." Selphie and Tidus both nodded even though I didn't ask them a question, but I continued none the less. "If I don't speak to Kairi and get this sorted out _now_, this ongoing cycle which we always seem to fall into will never be broken."

"Geeze Sora, you can _talk_!" Tidus exclaimed with a yawn, stretch and lazy smile. "First lesson has almost started."

"Oh, sorry," I quickly apologized to try and hide my blush.

Selphie smiled while rolling her eyes and pushing her boyfriend slightly. "Well I think it's sweet." She then embraced me before lightly kissing my cheek. "I'm proud of you."

"Me too buddy!" Tidus said with a fist in the air. "Now all this fighting can stop and summer can really begin."

Selphie scoffed, "yeah right! What summer? You and Wakka will be in Atlantica for a month. I'm going to stay in the legendary Beasts Castle for two weeks and hopefully with Kairi if she can persuade her parents. We're still in deep Chocobo droppings because of your party and sneaking out."

The smug grin Tidus had on his face was wiped off instantly as he looked into the death glare and green eyes of his girlfriend. "Well I guess I'll catch you guys later!" The blond suddenly announced, already jogging off as he did so. He saluted us goodbye before joining the rest of the students on their way to their first lesson. As my first lesson of the day was English, Selphie was joining me in my classroom, so we walked side by side through the soon-to-be-crowded hallways.

"I'm worried about you Sora." Selphie stated blandly, keeping her orbs on the journey instead of on me. "If Kairi is able to come with me to Beasts castle, then that means you're all alone for two weeks. Alone. No Kairi. No me. None of the boys. _Aloooone._"

"I get it Selphie," I said with a laugh and a roll of my eyes. "Trust me; Leon is going to be keeping me busy for the rest of the year if he gets his own way." A cold chill ran down my back at all the possible things my older brother could do to me as punishment. "He's got to punish me for: throwing a party, getting drunk, staying out all night the night he came home, attempting to sneak out the same night he came home, coming home late that same night, staying out all night the day after Lulu got admitted into hospital, then I did the same thing last night. So yeah, he's going to cook up something monstrous for me." I explained without her asking me to.

We reached the classroom and stood by the door as we allowed the other students to go through first. At first she looked at me with wide eyes as I listed all the things I've done to annoy Leon, but then her eyes narrowed in curiosity. "Why have you been sneaking out?" Her tone matched her expression and I knew that unless I said something believable, fast, she would make it her sole mission to get it out of me.

"Huh?" Great Sora. Genius 'believable and fast' response!

"Sneaking out?" she repeated. "You just said that you've snuck out a gazillion times and not even come home. Where have you gone? Why have you been doing it and who have you been with?" Selphie questioned rather demandingly. Geeze, nothing gets past this one. By now all the students had already filled the classrooms, leaving only Selphie and I in the hallways. I could feel her persistent green eyes watching my darting blue. Okay Sora, you could do this. All you have to do is tell another little white lie. I know you suck at lying but the truth is just not available right now. Besides, the truth would only spur her to ask more questions and you don't even have the answers right now. If only Riku was here, then this whole thing would be easier to explain. Riku- "Sora!"

"Riku!" I blurted out as an immediate response and a startled cry. Crap! Selphie looked taken back but still quizzical. Crap! What was I supposed to say now? The truth? No I couldn't. Those nights I snuck out to find Riku were between us. I could lie – yeah right! Look where that got me. Crap! Maybe something in between the two – that's worked for me before. As usual in these situations, my hand found the back of my neck as I spoke. "Erm… well…. I uh… Okay. Don't tell anyone else this okay?"

"I won't," she promised with a nod and very serious eyes, I knew that I could trust her anyway but I had to make sure.

"I've just been a little sad lately, that's all. Riku – he's leaving this school today and is most likely going on to another world to further his learning. I guess that I always thought that we would talk to each other before then, you know, or at least say goodbye or something." The fact that I wasn't even lying made this whole thing easier to do. "I've been sneaking out of the house recently and coming back at stupid times because of him. Because I can't stop thinking about him. I've been to the play islands and other places we used to go just to remember." Selphie looked at me sympathetically, almost as if she was about to cry, but I wasn't lying. It was all the truth – I was just leaving out the fact that those times I was sneaking out was because Riku was missing and needed me and that I was late because I was with him. It's not lying, it's bending the truth. But I still felt bad for saying it.

"Oh Sora, I had no idea." She said sadly and wrapped her arms around me. I returned the hug and actually felt some sort of relief. I hadn't actually had the chance to tell anyone that type of stuff before, and though none of it mattered because Riku and I were fine, it still felt good to get it out. "You know that you can always talk to me about this, right?" I nodded and parted from her. "I've thought about it too, well only recently really. I thought about the seniors' graduation tonight and who would be leaving the school. Then I thought about Riku, but I didn't even think about him leaving this world." She said sadly.

I put my hand on her shoulder of which she smiled at. To be honest, I was trying to forget the fact that he was leaving. He wasn't going to another college like I led Selphie to believe, he was leaving this world to fight for another. Riku's leaving this world to become a SOLDIER, and that thought really pains me. So I couldn't think about it now. "Hey Selph, why don't we try and talk to him today at the end of graduation?" I suggested. "I just want him to leave knowing that we don't hate him and it would make me feel better if I could at least say goodbye."

At first Selphie looked slightly taken aback by my suggestion, but then it started to make sense to her and she smiled and agreed with a nod. "That sounds great to me Sora, but what about Kairi? I don't think that she'll be too thrilled about the idea." Selphie said as she was opening the door slightly.

"Yeah well you just leave Kairi to me. I'll talk to her, don't worry." We were just about to head into class when I heard my name being called from behind. I turned around and noticed Zexion walking towards me in the hallway. "Hey Selphie, could you tell Mr. Smith that I'll be in a little later. I've really got to talk to Zexion real quick."

"Okay, but make sure you come into the class, Mr. Smith may just lose it today and no one wants to miss that." Selphie said with a sneaky smile and entered the rowdy classroom.

Before I could even greet the navy haired male, I just had to wrap my arms around him, which definitely caught him off guard as he stumbled back slightly once I did. "Thank you, thank you, _thank you_! You have no idea how much you saved my ass last night Zexion by going to Leon and telling him where I was." Somewhere above me I heard him chuckle oh so lightly and it was then that I let him go, looked up into those electric blue eyes and smiled. "Honestly, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't even be walking right now." He tried to wave the whole thing off with a hand, but I wasn't finished. "No seriously Zexion, you did so much for me last night. If it wasn't for you, Riku would probably be in a completely different world or worse by now. Thank you." I said seriously. Zexion had done so much for everyone already and he needed to know how grateful I was.

"I was glad to do it Sora, honestly. I had a feeling that you wouldn't be home until the following morning, so it was only responsible for me to tell your brother where you were. Besides, it was me who was driving you all around the world looking for him." He explained as we started walking out of the school grounds. "I didn't want to pull you out of lesson, but I knew that you had Mr. Smith and because this is the last week of school, I knew that work isn't really going to be the top priority." We sat ourselves on one of the benches looking in the front entrance of the school. "I promise that I won't keep you long. I just wanted to know how Riku was this morning. He left his phone at the cemetery last night and I haven't had the chance to return it to him yet."

Just thinking about this morning put the same smile from this morning back on my face and I could tell that my cheeks were dusted with a light pink. I tried to look away from Zexion quickly but he caught sight of me and smiled in a sort of relieved way. To be honest, Zexion looked like a little mess. He still had this neatness about him and it didn't look like there was anything wrong with him unless you really looked. He looked tired and there was just something off about him, even in his smile I could see that there was something troubling him. "That's a relief to hear. I'm not sure if I'll see him before graduation tonight, so it would be best to give him his phone then." Zexion decided and was about to rise from the bench, but I quickly stopped him.

"You didn't go back to Axel's last night, did you?" I knew that I was prying into business which wasn't my own, but I really wanted to help him out. He stared at me blankly, his one visible eyebrow lifting slightly as I stared back at him. "He's really worried about you, Zexion."

Knowing that we were about to have a conversation, Zexion showed no signs of trying to leave the bench and made himself comfortable once again. "I couldn't go back home after what happened. I tried to – I went to home after once I came back from your house, but I just couldn't get out of the car. I couldn't go back in there knowing that Demyx would probably be waiting for me." He explained.

"Don't you think that you owe it to yourself to him again? This is all you've wanted – what you've been pestering Axel about-"

"-Exactly," he interrupted calmly. "I've been questioning and interrogating Axel about Demyx ever since I discovered that he moved to Destiny Islands. At first I was upset because we were supposed to be friends and he didn't tell me. Then I thought about what you said last night that he probably did want to tell me but Demyx made him not to. And you were right; Demyx didn't want me to know where he was. He didn't want to see me, that's why he's been living in the back room at Scarlet's. That's why Axel didn't want me working there when the acts played downstairs. Demyx doesn't need or want me anymore and sadly enough neither does Axel." He smiled sadly at me, trying to let me know that it was okay, but I knew that it wasn't.

"That's not true, Zexion." I was trying to be as stern as possible. I knew _exactly_ how Zexion was feeling at the moment and I also knew that he had no need to think the thoughts that he was thinking. "Roxas told me this morning that Axel and Reno have been going out of their minds since last night. Axel's been texting and calling Roxas nonstop wondering if I knew or if he knew where you where. When you took his car yesterday to find Riku, he thought that you had run away from him. Just like when you-"

"-left The Organization." Zexion finished with perfect understanding as he nodded to himself. "I promised that I wouldn't put him through that again." He said with a sigh and a hint of remorse in his voice. "I didn't think he wanted me to go back to his and Reno's house last night so I left the car outside of their drive and stayed in my old apartment." A very pale hand pinched the bridge of his nose as his eyes peacefully shut. "I can imagine how he was reacting… and Demyx."

"l think that you should go over to his house and explain and maybe find out some answers for yourself. I mean, there might have been a completely different reason why Demyx was hiding in Scarlet's." Before I could allow Zexion to scoff or disregard my suggestion, I quickly added, "Wouldn't it be nice to clear the air before you both graduate tonight?" I asked and expected Zexion to either look at me as though I was right, or look at me as though he was thinking. I didn't expect him to look at me curiously and as though I was a little crazy.

"Axel isn't graduating." Zexion told me boldly, making it clear that what he just said was nothing but the truth.

I looked back at him shocked. "What do you mean he's not graduating today?"

"These past two weeks have been like a trial for him – to see if he can handle being back in a teaching environment." Zexion explained. "It's been a couple years since he was at school and he almost wasn't allowed into this one, but he promised Professor Wise that he could keep up with the work and be the model student which was expected from him."

"What did he do? Leave his old school or something?"

Zexion chuckled for some reason, shaking his head from side to side very lightly. "No. He got expelled." The news didn't shock me as much as I thought it would, but what I was slightly surprised at was the small smile and amusement in Zexion's voice. "We didn't even make it into our third year of high school."

Even though I knew that it was none of my business, I couldn't help but ask, "why did he get expelled?" I didn't miss the way Zexion said 'we', but I decided that I could ask him about it later. He gave me a look as if to say that it was going to be a long story, but I just nodded in encouragement. There really was no need for me to go to English if we weren't even going to learn anything and I would rather talk to and help Zexion.

Listening to what life was like for Zexion never ceases to surprise me and I'm always eager to hear and learn more about him. It was just strange and a little bit inspiring that despite having such a rough and uneasy childhood, Zexion was still able to overcome all of it and start a new life here where he was happy. In spite of the fact that he wasn't the most sociable person in this world and he probably has more people who have judged and picked on him than he has friends, I could see that this is paradise to him compared to his old lifestyle.

The blue eyed male didn't seem to have any qualms about telling me about his and Axel's past. "I've told you before that Axel and I grew up in the same orphanage right?"

"Yeah." I remembered – it was the same day he told me about Demyx.

"It was a ghastly place to live." He said, shaking his head. "The bedrooms, the building, caretakers, other orphans – combined together was nothing but a place for chaos and misery. I hated it almost as much as Axel did and we tried more often then not to keep out of there. Our only other safe escape from it was school. At first school seemed to be going great for us and we made a promise that no matter what we'll stick together throughout school and try not to do anything that will force us to stay at the orphanage any longer than needs be. We joined after school clubs, read and revised whatever we could find and it was all going well for us until we became Sophomores and we attained a new Principle. That was when things started going down hill for Axel. From the moment she first laid eyes on him they both knew that they weren't going to get along. He tested her buttons and she suspended him more times than I could count. Axel… he was going against everything we said that we would do: skipping classes, getting into fights, vandalizing the school."

"So is that why he got expelled? Because he did everything to constantly annoy the principle?" I was genuinely intrigued; I could never get bored of hearing about both Zexion's and Axel's past. It was just interesting to hear about all that they went through and discover that even after all of that they were still best friends.

"No, not quite," Zexion laughed. It was nice to see him still smiling through all of this. "It came to a point where our principle couldn't tolerate Axel anymore. Apparently he was the first student _ever_ in her whole twenty two years of teaching who had ever gotten under her skin like that. Though this piece of information didn't really bother Axel that much, it made our principle beyond irate and she pulled Axel into her office one day for a talk. It was outside of teaching hours so no one knew exactly what words were said. However, judging by my experience with Axel the one thing which makes him lose it is when you mention his family. The principle must have talked about his family, Axel must have lost it and that is exactly why he did what he did."

I leaned into Zexion so that only he could hear me as my voice volume dropped a couple of levels (despite there being absolutely no one around us). "He didn't…. _hit_ her or anything did he?" I asked deadly serious.

Zexion laughed. It was short but there was no denying the richness and joy within. "Gods no," he said while standing up from the bench. "He set her office on fire."

"He did _what_!" I cried, clearly shocked and surprised. Not only by the statement, but also by the way Zexion said it so nonchalantly and slightly amused.

"Geeze Zex, don't scare the kid off me." Both mine and Zexion's head turned to the side to see the redhead standing a bit of a distance away from us. He started walking over to us and I caught a quick glance of Zexion, the slate haired teen didn't look at all bothered by his presence, in fact, he looked a bit happy to see him. "That _thing_ wasn't a woman she was a witch." He claimed once he approached us, "She should have been used to people setting her on fire." He smirked.

As Zexion chuckled I took the time to look at Axel. There was something different about him… it looked like his aura of confidence had left him. The tallest male stood kind of awkwardly, with one hand nervously tugging at the tips of his intense red tips and shiny green eyes straining to find Zexion's. I haven't gotten to know Axel too well since he first moved to Destiny Islands, but I _do_ know him well enough to know that this wasn't really like him. Around the edge of his eyes were red, and so was the area around his irises. His hair didn't have that sharp spike look to it that it always did, no, it was slightly messy and out of place slightly. His clothes were the same as last night, his smirk lacked that usual cockiness and the one thing that really did show the true Axel was the happiness you could see in his eyes that he had found Zexion.

Trying to eliminate any awkwardness, Axel tried to keep up his light tone as he spoke. "Besides, you're one to talk Mr. I'm-going-to-mind-fuck-the-witch-then-send-her-to-an-asylum." Axel said pointedly, waving a finger in the smaller male's face.

Zexion looked down slightly, smiling to himself, trying to cover up the faintest blush appearing on his clear pale skin. "I wasn't staying in the school without you." Zexion stated and looked up to Axel who also smiled. I think that we all knew then that their friendship would be just fine.

"So let me get this straight," I didn't want to interrupt their moment, but something was just bothering me and I just had to make sense of it. "You're both telling me that you-" I pointed to Axel, "-tried to set your own principle on fire? And _you_ sent her to institution?" It was hard for me to accept what I was hearing. Yeah, I figured Axel had a bit of a temper, but I never would have expected him to be capable of that. As for Zexion… it was shocking, but I wasn't foolish enough to underestimate or put anything past him. The guy is a mastermind.

Now it was Axel's turn to laugh. "Are you kidding?" he said to me as he wrapped an arm around Zexion's shoulders and pulled the blue eyed teen close to him. "He didn't just _put_ her in one – he ensured that she'd be there for life. To this day I don't even know half the stuff you polluted into her mind." Axel said with a very proud smile on his face.

Zexion rolled his one visible blue eye, "and I'm going to keep it that way. You're far too dangerous as it is."

Axel placed a hand on his heart and made a mock-shocked face. "I don't even know what you're talking about Zex; I'm good as a Bright Gem." He claimed while pointing a proud thumb into his chest and giving a grin which suggested the opposite of his statement.

"And yet you still have the personality of a Blaze Shard." Zexion countered Axel's words with a smirk then turned to look at his best friend, Axel's arm falling from around his shoulder. "I'm sorry Axel, for last night. I wasn't thinking properly and it wasn't my intention to make you feel like I had left you again. It's just seeing Demyx and…" For once Zexion couldn't word what he was trying to say, but Axel seemed to understand and get it.

"You have no idea how sorry I am too, Zexion. If I had known that this would have happened then I would never had agreed to go along with it. But Demyx…you know what he's like. Well, you can ask him whatever questions you want once we find him."

Zexion raised his eyebrow high as his eye widened a bit. "You mean he's missing? Demyx has gone?" Both Axel and I could see that the good mood Zexion was in was fading fast so the redhead chose to help remedy that.

"He's not missing _per se_, I just can't… find him, that's all."

It wasn't the best words to try and keep Zexion calm.

"You can't _find him_? How could you _lose_ him?"

Now Axel rolled his eyes. Maybe he was used to Zexion being like this. Because I definitely wasn't, last night whilst looking for Riku he was the only one who was calm and collected throughout the whole journey. But I knew all to well the distress he must be going through. This is the second day in a row someone very close to him has tried to run off. "Don't worry your gloomy little head, Zexion. I haven't even gone looking for him yet-" Axel said optimistically and Zexion looked like he was about to say (shout) something, but the redhead got there first. "-But I have a feeling I know where he'd be. I'm going to need you though; he's definitely not going to listen to me alone."

Zexion looked like he needed a moment to think about it before giving Axel one nod then turning to me. "You should get back to class. Selphie's not even supposed to be in that lesson so I'm sure she would not appreciate you leaving her alone for this amount of time." The calmness was back and I think that had something to do with Axel.

"Okay, I guess the next time I'll see you you'll be graduating from this place." I said with a big smile on my face, one which was half heartedly returned but genuine nonetheless.

"I guess you're right." He agreed. "As you can see I've got a million things to do before graduation. I highly doubt that I will be able to get into any contact with Riku before then, but I'm sure you'll see him at graduation." He said with a reassuring pat on my shoulder. I knew that I would see Riku at graduation, regardless, but this tiny little voice at the back of my head kept on telling me that something was going to happen to him now. Something bad. I tried to ignore it, I really did, but it was persistent and came about even when I wasn't thinking about Riku.

I nodded and said my goodbyes to the two older males before turning on my heel, entering the school building once more and trying my very best to sneak into the classroom without being caught.

**:: ::**

There were times when I ruled it out that we were just _too_ different. But then there were the times that I wondered… wondered if we really were related.

Roxas, weirdly enough, was the one brother I never had any doubts about. It wasn't just because we were twins and we had physical similarities, but also because of the other things like we couldn't stand the smell of petrol. We both used to hate the dark and always sleep with the light on and we both even share the same favorite drink: coconut milkshake. It wasn't just that but sometimes Roxas and I would think the same and we used to even finish each others sentences. No, Roxas I never had any doubts about us being related.

But Leon…

Leon was a completely different story.

I'm pretty sure that there were no physical features that connect us. The only similarity was our hair and eye colour, but Leon's hair was darker than mine and my eyes were much brighter than his. I still had a small physique whereas Leon was a full grown man. My face still looked young and had that child-like quality still linking onto it, Leon's was stern, rugged and yet very handsome. There were too many differences between us which weren't physical to name. The most obvious one, though, was the fact that I still had my sanity.

Because Leon had lost his damn mind.

I don't know whether he's been living in Hollow Bastion too long, or he's going through some tough changes in life, or maybe it's Cloud – maybe his new blond companion did something with his mind. Because from where I was sitting Leon has just lost the plot.

It wouldn't have been as bad if he showed a shred of normality in his actions. The only thing that showed that me it was Leon still walking up and down in front of Roxas and I was the silence. This is what usually happened though: whenever Roxas and I were in trouble with him, he would pace around the room, silent for a bit, before he turned, looked at us then told us what he was going to make us do.

He didn't usually go around spinning his _freaking Gunblade_ in manic circles at his side, narrowly missing the floor and coffee table as he did so! Nor did he usually invite his obviously psychotic friend to guard the door with his own humungous sword either! What the hell was he thinking! Well he wasn't thinking; he had lost his mind.

Being this dramatic was never Leon's style. My eldest brother has had that Gunblade for well over a decade, it was one of his most prized possessions and Roxas and I knew that whenever he had that weapon with him, it meant something bad was about to happen. It wasn't uncommon for people to have them because sword fighting is very popular sport throughout different worlds. Leon's got tons of trophies for competitions he's won, but I always thought that he had given up playing with it once he moved to Hollow Bastion. Evidently not. And it seemed that not only did he keep the sport up, but he also managed to find someone else who just so happened to have a sword just as big and as terrifying as his.

Cloud stood by the door, arms folded over his chest and looking off into the distance, obviously he didn't really care about what was going on in this room. Right next to him was a sword so big that I'm sure it would have to take at least three people to hold it. The handle of the sword was on the floor whereas the sharp and pointy tip was standing upright and just about missed the ceiling by inches. This sword didn't look like your average sword and not just by its size. There was something painfully familiar about it, but I couldn't tell what. I just hoped that it wouldn't fall and cut both mine and Roxas' head off.

After several minutes of silence, Leon stopped pacing and his eyes landed on us. "You know that I respect you both right?" Leon asked and it caught me and Roxas off guard. I didn't expect him to shout or anything, that wasn't Leon's style either, but I did expect something more…_Leon-y_. I couldn't work out whether his question was rhetorical or a trick one, so I didn't reply to it and neither did Roxas. Leon didn't seem to care too much because he continued on nonchalantly. "Dad has done this more times then I can count. He even did it when I was still living here, so I know that it's not easy."

Understanding. Leon was being _understanding_? He was planning something, I could tell and Roxas could tell. We both looked at each other and exchanged the same look, confirming our thoughts before looking at our older brother again.

"Even though you do throw crazy parties and come home at ridiculous times when there is no one here, I understand that you are teenagers and you do have things to attend to. I also respect the fact that you haven't turned out resentful and you both haven't done anything _too_ stupid." As Leon said this he sat down on the edge of the small coffee table opposite us and rested the Gunblade on top of his long legs.

Roxas tried to keep his voice as nice and as polite as his voice could be. "If you respect us so much, why have you locked us in a room with your body guard and two big ass swords?" … Well it was as nice as Roxas could be.

"Because respect should go both ways." Leon replied sharply, looking intently at Roxas now. "I've told you this before that I know that I'm not dad and I know how angry you are at him, really Roxas I do. But just because he's gone it doesn't mean that you can just _do _whatever you want." Leon looked at both of us now, making it clear how serious he was with his eyes. "I shouldn't really even be here right now. I've got a business to run back in Hollow Bastion and I've left all of that responsibility with Zell, I've got bills to pay, people depending on me and all sorts of stuff which I've had to put on hold to be here with you." Whether it was intentional or not, his words hurt as the truth of his words settled in.

His job back in Hollow Bastion was very important to him and very demanding. Leon owned his own construction company, along with his best friend Zell, in the heart of Hollow Bastion. We would only see him a couple of times a year because he would constantly be busy with work. Not only did he do that, but he also ran his own side little project which enabled members of the community to help restore the buildings in that world. Neither Roxas nor I really knew the reason why Leon felt so strong about restoring Hollow Bastion to the way that it was, but we both were really proud of him and every summer we would stay over for a week or two and help him out. Time was something that Leon really didn't have a lot of and here was Roxas and I wasting and under appreciating it.

Leon was right. Respect does go both ways and Roxas and I haven't been keeping up our end of that deal.

"You're both my brothers, I love you and I _am_ glad to be here. But seriously, you need to cut me some slack. I'll be here before you go to school, when you come home, I'll give you munny if you ask for it and I'll spend as much time as I can with you. All I ask in return is that you do as I say. That way I can keep on top of things without worrying or losing sleep." Leon ran a hand through his chocolate spikes, giving Roxas and I a look which indicated that we could speak.

"I'm so sorry Leon." I said first, I just felt so guilty that I couldn't not say anything. "I _do_ respect you and I _do_ appreciate all the things you've done for us. If you weren't here then Roxas and I would have died from our own cooking! You've been here when we've needed you these past couple of days like with Lulu and when I needed someone to talk to. I'll do whatever you say from now on, I promise. I'm sorry that I don't show it enough and -"

Leon, with the first smile I saw of his today, raised his hand and rolled his eyes, stopping me from rambling on. It's not my fault that I needed to get out how I felt about the matter. We both then looked at Roxas, waiting for his apology. My twin, however, had other plans. He looked at Leon skeptically and I just _knew _that he had some sort of stupid comment to say. "You still haven't answered my question." Roxas said and then it was my turn to roll my eyes. Things were never easy when it came down to Roxas. "Why the swords? What does that have to do with respect?"

Leon just stared, not showing any emotion towards Roxas' words and then looked down at his Gunblade. "About seven years ago two young boys snuck into my room and wanted to play with this very sword." Leon answered in his own way, running his finger softly along the edge. "Do you remember this?" Leon knew exactly what he was doing by bringing up this memory as we both could easily see Roxas' stubbornness fading away. "Before that day, those young boys had very little respect for me. However, after something terrible happened that night, they respected me a whole lot more because I forgave them and they knew that I would do anything for them regardless. This sword is just serving as a little reminder to the _adults_ sitting before me." Leon said, looking into Roxas' eyes and knowing that he had gotten to him.

The blond sighed in defeat and regret. We hated it when Leon brought _that_ up. "You're right Leon. I'm sorry too." Roxas said genuinely, "You do deserve more credit than we give you and we'll both try and make it up to you. Sora's right, you have done so much for us, so the least we _could_ do is at least do as you say occasionally right?" When Roxas finally looked up, for a confirmation, he was looking at a smirk from our older brother what I had been looking at from the moment Roxas said 'I'm sorry'.

Leon turned to look at Cloud, as did my twin and I, who also had a smirk on his face. "You still lost." Cloud stated as he looked at my brother.

"What are you talking about?" Leon voiced I think all of our thoughts. "I managed to get them to say it didn't I?" the brunette questioned his blond friend with the tiniest hint of amusement in his stoic voice.

"Yes, you did, but that wasn't the deal. Unless you got Roxas to say he'll do whatever you say first, which you didn't by the way, then you would have won the bet." Cloud gave Leon a look which suggested that they both knew that he was right, but I was not happy.

All of this mad treatment for a stupid bet? Leon's smirk turned into a small smile as he mock glared at his friend then turned back to look at us. I looked at him incredulously whereas Roxas looked at him…. _Impressed_! "I can't believe you got me." He extended his small hand for Leon to shake, which he did. "Using emotional baggage, well done Leon, you really had me going then." They've gotta be kidding me. I take back what I said earlier about Leon – Roxas had obviously lost his sanity too.

"It's not funny!" I protested and Leon chuckled, held his sword then stood and stretched. "You know I hate it when you bring that thing near me, especially after… last time." Leon was still chuckling as I spoke and rolled his eyes. "I'm being serious! I thought you were going to kill us or something!" Everyone in the room was either laughing or smiling. What was so funny and amusing about this? "So are you telling me that you went through all this trouble hauling these big hefty swords for a bet?"

Leon shook his head and walked over to Cloud. "No. Cloud and I were practicing in the back yard before you and Roxas came in from school. That's when the whole idea came into play." Leon explained. Cloud took something out of his pocket and gave it to Leon who walked back over to us but just stared at me. "Which reminds me…" he said before throwing whatever it was Cloud gave him to me.

I caught it with ease and had a quizzical look on my face whilst trying to figure out what the hell it was. It was some sort of mechanical thing, obviously broken. There were bits dangling and things falling off it even as I held it. What was I supposed to do with this? Did Leon want me to fix it or something? The more I looked at it the more I came to realize what it was… he didn't! With wide eyes and an even wider mouth I nearly shrieked, "You didn't!" I looked up at Leon and saw that neutral expression which I hated. "This is my… my…"

"_My _target practice," Leon finished for himself because it certainly wasn't for me! "I needed something to aim at while I was practicing. So I came into the house, and there was your phone sitting there and gathering dust. I thought you wouldn't mind seeing as you never use it for anything important, like calling your brother to tell him where you are at ridiculous times in the morning."

And that was it. There was no space for arguments, negotiations or disagreements. He had _obliterated_ my phone and that was the end of that. Hopefully just _hopefully_ that was the only thing Leon was going to do against me.

"You." He turned to Roxas. "Just because you didn't come home as late as he did last night doesn't mean that you didn't miss your curfew-"

"-By eight minutes-"

"-Eight minutes too late," Leon cut in defiantly. "It's not only that, it's been the past couple of days as well which we'll talk about later." They stared at each other for an intense couple of seconds, but Roxas knew what Leon was referring to as he seemed to understand then looked away from my brother. "So, I see that you're both no longer in school uniform." Roxas looked back at him and wore the same confused expression that I did. "What was the reason behind that again?" Leon asked it as innocently as he possibly could - Which was hardly innocent at all. It's not hard for him to keep his evil smirk or smile at bay, but it is impossible for him to remain above suspicion.

It was me who answered him, making sure the cautious tone was thick in my voice. "Some kids trashed the school and wouldn't own up to it. Professor Ansem punished us all for it by making us wear school uniform for two weeks." I answered and Leon just _loved_ the fact that neither Roxas nor I knew where he was going with this. "…why?"

"What is your school like now? Is it still vandalized?" Leon asked his other question, blatantly ignoring mine and looked mildly satisfied with the slow, cautious, nods from both Roxas and I. "How bad is it?"

"Pretty bad," Roxas answered this time. "The halls and classrooms have been trashed completely, offensive graffiti on the lockers, paint strewn everywhere, broken glass, litter and so on."

Leon smiled and it wasn't a pleasant one. Once again Roxas and I exchanged a look before averting our attention to our older brother. "That's what I thought it was like when I spoke to Professor Ansem." What? He spoke to who? Why would he do that? Still smiling that devilish smile of his, Leon explained. "It's a really big shame that someone did that to your school and that you innocent students are the ones who have to deal with the consequences." He didn't seem all that upset about it at all. "So I decided to talk to Professor Ansem about how they're dealing with it. He told me that he was going to hire some professionals to clean the place and deal with the damage over summer break."

Roxas could hardly keep his glare down. "Leon. What have you done?"

"Trust me; I know how much munny it costs to not only pay for cleaners, but for things to be repaired as well as being safe and all of that." I didn't like this one bit. Leon had that glint in his eye which suggested that whatever he had to say next was going to spell doom for Roxas and I. "So I suggested that for the next four weeks of your summer vacation, you and Roxas would volunteer to help out with all that. Free of charge!" The grey eyed brunette said that last bit with the most amount of happiness I've heard from him in a while. "Congratulations boys, you start next Monday, a week from today, when your summer vacation starts."

He. Could. Not. Be. _Serious_.

"Don't worry Sora, he's not serious." Roxas said as though he was reading my thoughts, though, he was still glaring at Leon. "He can't be serious." Leon's smile turned into a smirk and once again he walked over to Cloud. "There is no way that he's serious," Roxas continued, obviously not believing what Leon was capable of, "there's just _no_ _way_ that he's serious because there is _no way_ that he could have pulled it off."

Roxas was just as delusional as Leon. And people really thought that I was the oblivious twin.

"Catch." Leon commanded once he returned back to us and threw a small plastic thing at Roxas. It landed in my twin's lap and once he realized that it was a type of card, he instantly frowned. "Read what it says on the other side aloud." Leon commanded.

So Roxas picked up the card and turned it over. However, instead of reading whatever it was Leon wanted him to read aloud, his eyes widened dramatically as he gave the card a closer inspection before those royal blue eyes narrowed. "Where the _fuck_ did you get this picture from!" Roxas nearly shouted, eyes not removing themselves of the photo he was evidently not happy about. Roxas looked like he was in shock _and_ about to murder someone, so I _had_ to see what he was so mad about. Taking it out of Roxas' hand, I observed the card for my self.

When I say this it is no word of a lie: it took _all_ – every single bit – of my mind, strength and control to not laugh incessantly at the picture of Roxas. It was too freaking hilarious - I felt like I was going to _die_ trying to keep myself from laughing so much. The blond in the photo had a quarter of one eye open, you could just faintly see a tiny bit of the blue of his iris, while the other one was completely shut. His mouth was open enough to allow his tongue to slip out and hang over his bottom lip. His blond hair was disheveled, you could see right up his nose and it was just well and truly a terrible picture.

I knew that Roxas wasn't going to, so I decided to read out the writing by his picture. "'Destiny High's Restoration Committee Honorary Member'." I then turned the card over and looked on the back, reading aloud "'Roxas Hart.'" I looked at Roxas whose eye was twitching at Leon. My brother was just pure evil.

"I took the picture the other night when you were asleep." Leon explained nonchalantly and I really feared that if he continued to say anymore, Roxas would burst and explode from the sheer anger pulsing through his body. That was the exact reason why I decided not to laugh.

"You're insane! You know this right!" Roxas failed at keeping his voice calm as he shouted at our brother. He wouldn't even give Leon a chance to answer (not that he was going to), before he still shouted at him. "You're going to pay for this. I mean it! Where the hell is Sora's card!"

"He's hardly been here sleeping for me to get any decent pictures-" Roxas scoffed, "- So I'm going to wait for the perfect opportunity." Leon said as though it was absolutely nothing. Then he sat back down on the coffee table, sword resting on his lap, and looked at both Roxas and I equally. "You're not getting out of this one, either of you. Even though it was a bet before, I did mean what I said about respect. I'm jeopardizing a lot by being here right now, and I feel like I can't leave until you both become more responsible. If you do this, then I know that you both do respect me by doing as I ask and you're taking responsibility for things you may feel aren't entirely your fault. I know that you both didn't trash your school, but just take the responsibility, clean it up and learn from it. Can you do that?"

I felt so bad, so I couldn't help agree to do as he asked. "I will." I said as soon as he asked the question. I guess in a way it would be a good learning experience for both Roxas and I. And Leon was right, he was putting a lot on the line by being here with us, so we do at least owe him some respect and could show it. Don't get me wrong – I really, _really_ didn't want to do this, but there was no point in fighting and arguing with Leon. Especially when he had a point.

Roxas sighed in defeat and rolled his eyes, knowing that there was no point in fighting it. "Yeah, fine, whatever." He agreed and as far as we were all concerned, that was the end of that. Roxas still was not happy about the whole thing, not that I could blame him, but once he looked at the dismantled device lying lifelessly in my lap, he started to laugh. "I can't believe you did that to his phone." I could; Leon was nuts.

"It's your own fault for never using it. You had a lot of missed calls from Kairi by the way. I managed to answer one of them, but she started giggling when she found out that it was me then hung up."

I rolled my eyes; that sure was Kairi all right. Kairi and her stupid crush on my brother. Leon was evil and intimidating – not hot! "She was probably trying to call about tonight." I explained even though I was pretty sure neither of them cared. "Speaking of which I need to go and get ready for." I managed to _finally _stand on my feet and just as I was about to take my first step away from all of these mad people, Leon spoke five words which sent my emotions tumbling down.

"You're not going anywhere tonight."

"What?" I cried incredulously, "but I have-"

"You're not going anywhere tonight." He repeated in that same freaking calm voice. "You've been out everyday since I've been here and you've defied all of the curfews given to you since then. Besides, I'm waiting for something important to be delivered and I need someone to be here to collect it."

My eyebrows creased in consternation. "Why can't you collect it? Or Roxas? Why do _I_ have to be here?" Great. Now I sounded whiny. It wasn't my fault though, I couldn't help it. Leon didn't even know what he was depriving from me. If he didn't let me go out tonight then I would miss seeing Wakka graduate. I wouldn't have the chance to make things right with Kairi. And Riku. I wouldn't be able to see Riku graduate either – I wouldn't be able to talk to him and would have to wait 'til _gods_ _knows_ how long.

Leon didn't seem too bothered about it though. "Cloud and I are sparring at the old community centre and won't be back until later. Roxas has got work and like I said, you've hardly been _in_ the house. You're staying."

"Please Leon." He couldn't be doing this to me. Tonight was too important to me for me to just let go. Usually, I would allow him to have his way and not argue, but not about tonight… not when tonight was too important. "I'll do anything. I'll stay in for the whole of the summer vacation if you want. Just not tonight. Please not tonight. Tonight is-"

"-You're staying Sora. I can't keep letting stuff like this slide." No. He couldn't do this. Desperately I looked at Roxas to try and help me out, and he looked like he was going to say something but one sharp look from Leon prevented that. Cloud – maybe Cloud could help me change his mind. I looked back at Leon's blond haired friend and begged with my eyes that he said something to Leon, but he just gave me a look to say that there was nothing he could do. Sighing, Leon apologized, "I'm sorry Sora." It was a genuine apology, but I was just too upset with him to accept it. I just stared at my older brother, _begging_ him to not do this to me. "I need to talk with Roxas. I'll come upstairs and talk to you later."

"You know what Leon? Don't bother." I didn't have it in me to be angry at Leon. On some level in the very far back area of my mind I could understand why he was doing this. I just didn't want to accept it – I couldn't accept it. Inside I was angry, but I felt more disappointed and upset than anything else. This morning I was on such an emotional high that I couldn't stop smiling and look forward to this evening, but now… now it was all ruined.

Cloud managed to lift and move his sword away from the door in time for me to exit out of the living room. I didn't even give any of them a second glance as I left. Deep down I knew that there was nothing they could really do because once Leon has made up his mind, then it's usually final. It's just that I had wanted, no, _needed_ this night to happen so bad for so many reasons. It tore my heart into shreds to think that I wouldn't be there to show my support for Wakka, Zexion and Riku who were graduating tonight. And Selphie… we made a pack that we would speak to Riku as well. I was really hoping that tonight would be the night where Riku could finally see and accept that we didn't hate him. Not even Kairi (who I also needed to speak with so that we could sort through our issues) could have ruined it.

This was just so _depressing_ and upsetting that I almost didn't hear the low voice, over my disappointing thoughts, call me from behind as I slowly made my way upstairs. I turned around in time to see Cloud standing there at the bottom of the stairs, sword strapped to the back of his back, and blue eyes looking directly into my own. "Tonight is really important to you, isn't it?"

"Yeah." I answered with a nod. "It's graduation night for some of my friends and I've made a lot of promises."

Cloud looked slightly confused. "You celebrate graduation in the evening?"

I nodded again. "It's a tradition of our world. It usually starts around sundown then goes on until midnight. We make a big deal out of it and everything… like a big party. There's food, dancing, music, fireworks. The whole lot." Just talking about it was making me even more upset. "I really need to go, But Leon-"

"-Just go." Now it was my turn to look confused. Cloud just looked back with serious eyes and spoke in a much lower voice. "If something is important to you, then you should go through with it no matter what." I was about to argue his point, but he continued nonetheless. "I can keep Leon… _entertained_ until midnight. Just as long as you're back before then there should be no problem. Right?"

The thought that this could probably work started to fuel hope around my system, that it, until I remembered something. "Except Leon needed me to wait for his 'very important' package, I can't screw that up for him too."

"The package never came." Cloud decided and looked at me as though I better go through with his idea.

What the hell was Roxas' problem with Cloud? I just couldn't understand it. There wasn't an ounce of doubt in my mind that he's what Leon and Roxas were discussing right now. Cloud right now to me was this angel here to rescue me from that _devil_ Leon. It was weird to see how relaxed Leon was around him to be honest. Not even when he brought Rinoa around would he allow her to really know about our private family affairs, let alone listen and stay in the room while it was going on. I really liked Cloud, and not just because what he was doing for me, but because he seemed so right for Leon. Whether their relationship was friendship or more didn't matter because he seemed to bring out the 'fun' side of Leon (if you could call it that). I genuinely believe that if Cloud wasn't here with him, then all the crap that's been piling on top of Leon these past couple of days would have made living unbearable for both him and us. Cloud was even able to wield a freaking _beast_ of a sword! There was no one who could do that for miles.

As though Leon telling me that I couldn't go didn't exist, a grin so large covered near enough the entirety of my face as I practically leaped from the stairs onto Cloud. I was just too happy that I didn't even consider his or _my_ safety as I did so and it was clear that Cloud was not expecting it as stumbled back a little. It wouldn't have mattered if he caught me or not because my arms were wrapped around him so tight that we would have been connected anyway. Luckily Cloud was able to catch himself instead of falling backwards and taking us both down. Even if he did I wouldn't care, I felt too elated and happy that _nothing_ could bring me out of this mood. Not even grumpy old man Leon.

"Thankyouthankyouthankyou!" I expressed zealously, squeezing the older man tighter. "You're the best Cloud! I'll be back before midnight, I promise I will. Thank you! Yes! Now I can go! You have no idea how much this means to me!" I squeezed Cloud even tighter, not that it would have mattered because his biceps were _huge_, so I was pretty sure that he could handle it.

"…You're not going to cry are you?" He said quite awkwardly and I just laughed. I guess I was acting like a little girl but this meant so much to me. I shook my head and backed away, my smile losing none of its intensity. "Good." Cloud smiled a small smile and gave me two pats on one shoulder. "You should go and get ready," the blonde male decided before walking away towards Leon's room. "Midnight Sora and the package never came." Cloud reminded me one final time before entering my brother's room and shutting the door.

"Midnight." I whispered the repeat to myself and internally made an unspoken promise to Cloud that I wouldn't let him down. I felt like I've let so many people down lately, especially Leon, so I had to try and make things right from now on. Starting with tonight's graduation. I was going to sort everything out with Kairi. See Wakka and Zexion graduate. Be Selphie's shoulder to cry on as she gets very emotional over these things and cheer loud and proud with Tidus when we see our friends and classmates graduate.

And… Even if it was just for a moment, I would be able to see Riku. That moonlight hair and those tempting teal eyes which have been running through my mind _all day_ would finally be in the flesh to me. I'll see him graduate tonight which is something a couple of weeks ago which wouldn't have even crossed my mind. Even if I'm not able to speak to him, at least I'll see Riku and give him my support. I would be nice to talk to him though – or at least get Selphie to talk to him. It was important that he knew that there were people here who still loved him after everything and will continue loving him even when he becomes a SOLD-

Shaking my head to stop those negative thoughts from getting in, I bounded up my stairs, taking two at a time, and started getting ready for the fun festivities that we were about to take part in tonight.

**:: ::**

**AN: **Not a chapter I'm particularly fond of – I mean, where the hell is the SoRiku? But I am glad to finally get this one out of the way. It means that I now have room to make things a lot more interesting. And for you blood thirsty yaoi fangirls, AkuRoku is on its way! The wait will soon be over. Thanks again for reading and don't forget to review for me!


	20. Under My Skin

**Hopelessly I'll Love you Endlessly**

**Chapter Twenty**

**Under My Skin**

Leon gone? – Check.

Cloud gone? – Check.

Roxas gone? –

"Sora I'm leaving. I'll be back about ten." The door was opening… closing…closed.

Check.

With a deep sigh I slumped back on my sofa once I was certain everyone was out of the house. Wiping fake sweat from atop my brow, I couldn't help but smile and laugh to myself due to the excitement bubbling within me. Cloud was honestly a godsend; if it wasn't for him then I definitely wouldn't be going. I know that by deliberately going against my older brother's wishes I was disrespecting him which is the total opposite of what I promised him. It's just… I've always been like this. I'm not saying that I'm a natural born rebel or anything, but when something important to me is occurring I just _have _to go through with it. Leon just doesn't understand that and I wonder if he ever will. Of course I felt bad that I was defying him _again_, but this needed to happen and it's not like he was going to find out anyway. Cloud and I made a deal and I intended to keep to it.

It was already nearly approaching seven and I was waiting for Selphie to turn up so that we could go. Her dad was taking us there _and_ picking us up seeing as she wasn't technically supposed to be out of her house because she, too, was being punished. At least he understood how important this was to us. I would have text her and found out where she was, but one glance at that dismantled device on my coffee table reminded me that I wouldn't be contacting people for a _long_ time. _Sadistic, Evil Leon._

The waiting was killing me. It felt like every minute which slowly went by was taking bits of my life with it. No matter what time Selphie got here we were going to be late. The event was supposed to start in five minutes and I mentally kicked myself for not refusing the ride to high school in the first place. Well, things weren't so bad I guess, all that we were going to miss was the speech for Professor Ansem and that would be something I probably would fall asleep through anyway. I just didn't want to miss it when the seniors got their diplomas because for me to miss Riku getting his diploma would be unacceptable.

He's been forced to get his outstanding grades and worked so hard, so for me to not see him get something he really deserves would be devastating for the both of us. I know that I wouldn't miss Wakka and Zexion get their diplomas because due to their last names, they wouldn't be getting theirs until later on in the ceremony. However, Riku would be near the first and just thinking about missing it has really put me on edge. Where on Destiny Islands was Selphie? Anyhow she's been trying to call my cell but couldn't thanks to Mr.-Destruction-Happy Leon then I swear I would make him pay.

This was so exciting and yet so nerve-wrecking as well waiting for Selphie to turn up. She's going to have to be here within the next ten minutes otherwise I am definitely leaving without her. What if her dad changed his mind and is now refusing to let her go? That can't happen – Selphie and I made a promise that we were going to talk to Riku after the ceremony. She was going to speak to Riku and tell him that she didn't hate him which may not be as big of a deal to her, but to Riku it would mean everything. Even though he and I are alright now (actually we were better than alright), I know how much he has missed the others too and I know how much he thinks that they hate him. If I could get one of them, just _one_, to explain to Riku how they actually felt, then that would be good.

Kairi was definitely the last person I would have asked to try and talk to Riku, she's not exactly his biggest fan and we still haven't even talked since our argument last Friday. Wakka… I'm really indecisive about. I'm not sure how the orange haired teen would react once he discovers that Riku's going to Midgar. Especially because Wakka's older brother, Chappu, is in the Bevelle Military Force and the two worlds are currently at war. I don't think Riku would be able to handle talking to Wakka just yet either. Tidus could also talk to Riku today as well; there was no problem with that at all. The blonde has already said that he doesn't hate Riku and that he misses him too. Selphie already agreed to do it and all I have to do is play along and act as though I haven't spoken to him in ages. Everything was going to be fine. All I needed was for this girl to hurry up and get here. I looked at my watch and noted that the ceremony had already started.

Another five minutes went by slowly, as though it was drifting timelessly throughout space, and just as I was about to give up hope, loud knocks were being pounded onto my door. "Yes!" I cheered victoriously, leaped from my seat on the couch, and ran to the door. Just as I opened it I was about to take a step outside, but the instant punches aimed straight at my shoulder pushed me back into my house.

"You see this Hart?" Selphie shoved her phone in my face before I even got a chance to fully register what the hell was happening. "This is called a _phone_! You're meant to answer it when it rings and you're supposed to _text back _when someone texts you!" Selphie angrily said, putting her phone back in her little purse bag thingy, her deadly green eyes not stopping the glare for anything.

Selphie looked absolutely amazing. She wore a sparkly yellow dress which suited her body perfectly and a black blazer to keep the whole 'sophisticated' look for the occasion and a pair of black high heels to make herself look a little taller. Her makeup was done, her hair was perfect and she had so much flowery perfume on that she practically intoxicated my house to the point of smelling like a garden. "Sorry Selph, Leon destroyed my phone with Gods knows what. It was part of my punishment… I think." Either that or Leon is just utterly crazy... It just might be the latter.

Selphie's eyes lit up as all signs of anger were gone. "Leon? Is he here?" She asked while her big green eyes scanned around the empty house and she twiddled a couple of locks of hair around her finger.

I was utterly appalled. "No. No he's not."

"Awww man." Selphie pouted and for once it did not look cute. "What about his blond friend? Kairi said that he's just as hot as your brother."

"Leon is not hot!" I instantly argued back. This was getting ridiculous. Leon is not even the slightest bit attractive. He's evil and sadistic. Nothing more to it.

"Yeah, you're right." Selphie agreed, shocking me completely. I just stared wide eyed, genuinely surprised that she actually agreed with me about this, and followed her as we left my house. "…he's _smokin' hot_!" She cheered once we were outside along with one hell of a wolf whistle. I slapped my hand to my face as she listed everything about Leon what she liked. I was about to tune her out as soon as we got into the car, but she stopped once her dad was in ear shot. It's a good thing too considering the way she was talking.

The short journey to school enabled me to explain to Selphie why I had to be home at midnight. Tears were streaming down her face from laughter when I told her about what Leon was making us do during our summer vacation. It wasn't even funny; thanks to Leon I'm going to have to sleep with my eyes open so that he doesn't get a terrible picture of me. Something I know he's looking forward to. We were also able to discuss Riku. We came to the decision that we'll talk to him after all of the seniors get their diplomas. We both knew that he would be the one to go home instead of celebrating with everyone else. So that's when we were going to do it. We'll catch him before he leaves and talk to him then.

As soon as we arrived I gave my thanks to Selphie's dad and practically sprinted out of the car. I heard her dad give her strict instructions on when he was going to pick her up and at what time and where. Selphie kissed her dad goodbye on the cheek, promised that she would do as he asked and then the next thing I know we're rushing towards the schools football pitch where the ceremony was being held. It was surprising to see that Selphie was _actually_ beating me while running _and_ she was in heels!

"Come on Sora! We're late enough as it is because of you!" She cried then caught the look of utter disbelief on my face and laughed loud.

Finally we were reached the football pitch and we managed to steal a couple of seats at the back unnoticeably. Selphie leaned over to me "can you see Kairi anywhere?" she asked in a whisper, her breathing heavy thanks to all that running. I shook my head, looking for the wine read head myself but finding it extremely difficult.

"_Candice Cole_." Was called from the front and a girl wearing the bright blue Graduation gown took the diploma given to her and shook the Professors hand. All the parents, teachers and friends and family who were in the audience clapped, prompting Selphie and I to do the same. "_Michael Combo._" Another round of applauds and cheers as another senior gathered his diploma.

Still searching for Kairi, my eyes landed on another figure that was waving us over right near the front. "Selph, look, there's Tidus." I pointed in the direction where I wanted her to look at. Tidus was waving us over, frantically moving his hands and indicating at the two seats which he had clearly saved for us. Selphie took my hand and led us towards her boyfriend, both of us breaking our hands away to clap for another senior.

"You guys took your time." Tidus said once I sat down next to him with Selphie by my side. On his other side a camcorder was passed back to him and I looked over to see that it was Kairi who gave it back to him. She looked amazing as well. Kairi wore a baby pink slim fitting dress which flared out as soon as it met her hips and came just above her knees. Her hair was curled for once and she really did look beautiful. Her violet-blue eyes looked at me as mine were looking into hers. I couldn't exactly talk to her right now, especially with Tidus recording the ceremony between us, but I did manage to mouth the words 'we need to talk' to her. She understood instantly and nodded once before turning her attention once more to the Graduation.

The whole setting was really beautiful – the sun was setting which cast an orange glow to the sky, slowly turning it darker. Because of the angle we were all seated at, we got a perfect view of the sun setting in the background of every picture taken of ex-students. A couple of stars were out already and the sound of the ocean was faint but still there. More and more seniors were getting their diplomas, some saying funny things like "I got it mom!" and "college here I come!" to the audience which in turn made us laugh. I started to grow nervous once they finally got to the D's because I knew that Riku's name would be coming up soon. It wouldn't really bother me if he didn't see me once he got his diploma, I didn't even expect him to look in the audience to be honest.

There were many times when I looked around the audience for Sephiroth, Loz, Kadaj or Yazoo, but I hadn't seen any of them anywhere. Maybe they were further at the back or something. I tried not to wonder what would happen if one of them saw me or if they saw me talking to Riku, but there were times when I couldn't help it. What if they caused a big scene in the middle of this Graduation, or what if they would do something to Riku once he got home? What if they've already done something to him? He had been missing from home for three days. What if they feel like punishing him? No, they wouldn't have done that. Not when he has Graduation right now.

Selphie seemed to notice the distress my mind was putting me though as she placed a caring hand on my shoulder and whispered to me, "Are you okay Sora? You seem uneasy." Inside I was grateful that she asked me a question because it meant that I was able to stay out of my own head and focus on her. Her eye spoke volumes of concern and I smiled as genuinely as I could to show her that it was okay.

"I'm fine Selphie. I was just thinking that's all."

"About what?"

"_Riku Dusk._"

Faster than a flash my eyes tore away from Selphie's and focused on the scene before us. As soon as the Professor read out Riku's name I couldn't think of anything else, I couldn't even blink for fear of missing one second of him. I could, however, feel Kairi watching me but it didn't bother me one bit because as soon as I saw his tall, pale face emerge from the crowd to receive his diploma, nothing else mattered. He looked good in the Graduation gown, the bright blueness was a definite contrast against the pasty colour of his skin and if anything it made his eyes stand out above everything else. I was glad to see that he still had his silver hair out, flaring in the light wind, underneath his cap.

As soon as he accepted his diploma, Tidus stood and started clapping with one hand. I didn't have time to show my shock before Selphie mirrored his actions. I was so happy that they really wanted to show their support and how proud they were of him, that I too stood on my feet and clapped along with them. The biggest surprise was that Kairi simultaneously stood with me and clapped for Riku as well. I smiled and sighed in relief as I clapped.

Once Riku took shook the Professor's hand and started walking away with his diploma, we all started to sit down and lessen our clapping. Riku started walking to join the other graduates, and I really thought that he wouldn't see me, but those startling teal jewels found my sapphire and before I knew it, Riku was slowing down his steps until he stopped completely. A smile couldn't stop its way from forming on his face and it made him look so beautiful that I just couldn't tear my eyes away. Slowly, he raised a hand and gently moved his fingers as a way of waving at me. My face was burning red with the amount of attention I was receiving from him, but I managed to wave back and smile just like he was.

Riku was looking at me as though he was surprised to see me here, but happy nonetheless. He should have known that I wouldn't miss this for anything. We must have been staring at each other for a while because the voice on the speaker cleared their through in a way to urge him to move on. Riku didn't even blush or look embarrassed as he walked the rest of the way to the other graduates. And just like that the ceremony continued on normally as though that hadn't happened.

The ceremony continued on… but my friends didn't. They all, including Tidus even though he was supposed to be recording the event, looked at me. Green, blue and violet-blue all asking me the same question: what was that all about? To answer their entire unvoiced question, I merely shrugged and gave my attention to the next candidate up for their diploma. Tidus shrugged then focused recording the ceremony again, obviously not too bothered about the whole thing. Selphie was next to stop watching me as she gave her attention to the Graduation. But Kairi… I could feel the gaze again and I could sense the questions she wanted to ask me. Thankfully, though, she decided to drop it as the next person was called up.

My heart was still racing at the fact that not only did he see me, but he also managed to wave and show some sort of attention. Out of all the things I expected to happen tonight, that was certainly not there. Happy doesn't seem to be the right word as to how I was feeling right now, it didn't even come close. He really just didn't care who was watching, who saw him. And that _smile_ – it was so beautiful and so captivating to look at that butterflies formed in my stomach whenever I thought about it. I tried looking for Riku amongst the other graduates, but thanks to our seating, he was nowhere to be seen. It didn't matter though; I had that look he gave me, his eyes, his _smile_, on record in my mind and it was currently on replay. It put it into perspective for me that because Riku didn't care about who saw him, maybe I shouldn't as well. His brother and cousins – who really loathe the idea of Riku and I being together – saw the whole thing and if they knew that it was me who Riku waved at, then there could be some serious repercussions.

Yet Riku didn't care. He wanted to do it and it made him smile. It made things a lot clearer to me that I shouldn't be afraid of what people thought. If he was able to do that in front of a whole audience of people, who he was most likely never going to meet again, then surely I should be comfortable telling people I've known all my life that I've got a boyfriend. Well… of course there is a substantial difference between waving at someone and coming out that you're gay, but still, things were a lot clearer in my head about how I should deal with things.

I've only got a couple of months left with Riku and I don't want to spend it tiptoeing around my friends and family. However, I kind of figured out that we would have to tiptoe around Riku's family (I don't see him being in a rush to tell them about us), and that doesn't bother me as much as I think it bothers Riku. I'm content to even be speaking to him after four years. After all of my crazy dreams and wishful thinking, I still never would have thought that this would be happening. Never in a million years would I have thought that Riku would feel the same way that I do.

"_Wakka Guard_!"

Interrupting my train of thought was the person on the intercom calling my other best friend's name. Instantly we all rose at the same time to see Wakka coming out in his blue robes and dazzling smile to collect his diploma. Tidus, Selphie, Kairi and I all cheered loudly, much to the annoyance of some of the parents, as he shook the Professors hand and then held his diploma proudly in the air.

"This is for Lulu and Chappu!" He dedicated confidently which in turn made us cheer even louder and encouraged others to do so as well. He winked at the camera as he went by and joined the other graduates.

"Thank God he didn't screw it up." Tidus breathed in relief, "I thought the big oaf was going to trip or something."

I laughed, "you do realize that you've just recorded yourself saying that right?"

"Not with my awesome editing skills," he replied with a mischievous smile and wiggling brunette eyebrows. I laughed along with Tidus once more before we both turned our attention back towards the rest of the ceremony.

When the time came around for Zexion to collect his diploma, I stood and cheered for him too, eager to show my support. There were a few others in the crowd who also cheered for him and I just assumed that it was Axel and Reno. I know that they wouldn't want to miss him getting this achievement that they know is very important to him. Some part of me hoped that Demyx was with them as well. It crossed my mind more than once today if the two found the missing blond. I could still hear the panic in Zexion's voice when Axel told him that he couldn't find Demyx. I've never heard Zexion like that before which goes to show that even after all those years apart he still cares very dearly about him.

By the time everyone had got their diplomas and the final speeches were being said, the sun had completely set and left everyone underneath the purple-blue sky. Stars were appearing already and the moon was starting to make its grand entrance. As I mentioned before, the whole setting was truly amazing especially when the entire thing was over and colorful fireworks lit up the sky along with the bright graduation hats of the now ex-seniors. Friends and family were on their feet immediately, clapping and cheering their support with all that they had. Even Selphie was crying her joy for Wakka and we moved seats so that her boyfriend could hold her, while still trying to film what was going on around him.

Swiftly after that the chairs we were all sitting on were removed, colorful lights of purple, blue red and yellow were decorated on the ground so that we could see, and a buffet was brought out for all to enjoy. Different types of music were being played all around us as parents were embracing the life out of their children. It was just such a happy environment to be around that I couldn't wait to see Wakka and give him the biggest hug that I've ever given anyone. I also tried looking for Riku, but I knew deep down that he wouldn't be found anywhere near here.

As Tidus started to wrap up his filming by giving an absolutely useless monologue of every sight that the camera was picking up, Kairi approached me while Selphie went to look for Wakka. She took one moment to look at me before smiling gently and offering me her arm. With little reluctance, I linked arms with Kairi as we walked towards the buffet together in silence. It was hard to determine what was going on in Kairi's head at the moment, but this never usually happened. After we would have one of our usual arguments about Riku, we would give it a couple of days before I would be the one to apologize and all would be forgotten until the next time. And though we have given it a couple of days and I was about to apologize, something seemed weird about this time. Kairi seemed somewhat approachable and it was shocking.

What was even more shocking was that she was the one to speak first – no, not speak – _apologize_ first.

"I'm really sorry, you know, about before." Kairi apologized, her eyes alternating between the floor and me. I was about to say something, but she cut me off. "I didn't want to do this here and now of all times and places, but I've been thinking a lot these past couple of days while we haven't been speaking," she sighed before her eyes finally rested solely on me. "Riku was so important to all of us that when he abandoned us out of the blue like that it was too much of a shock for me to accept. And you… it was so hard seeing you like that Sora. You were acting like he was; not talking to me or anyone else, not smiling or laughing anymore. It was horrible and I just wanted it to stop. There were times when I thought this whole thing would blow over, but then there were times when I thought things were permanently going to be like this. I couldn't take things the way they were between us all. I had to… had to do something."

Suddenly it clicked in my head what Kairi was about to tell me. "The night you went to see Riku." I said aloud and Kairi nodded as a confirmation. There was no need for Kairi to tell me what happened that night as Riku already explained to me a couple of nights ago when we were in the Secret Place. He told me that she shouted at him and begged him not to do this to us, which was understandable considering how bad our situation was back then. But shouting wasn't the only thing that Kairi did that night – she _hit _him! Kairi actually physically slapped Riku around the face out of anger. Now that is something which is not understandable or acceptable. Not in any way. What's even worse is that Riku felt like he deserved the abuse which is absolutely ridiculous. No matter how upset, frustrated or angry you are you should never cause physical pain. Ever. It was still hard to believe that Kairi was even capable of something like that. "Kairi I-"

She shook her head, promptly stopping me from saying anymore. "I need to say this to you first." The violet-blue eyed girl stated then took a deep breath and continued. "I don't want to get into what happened that night Sora, but it was really bad. I did something so stupid that night – so incredibly stupid and dreadful – and ever since it happened I couldn't even hear Riku's name without feeling sick with myself." As soon as I noticed her eyes lining with tears that were about to fall, I quickly reached for a napkin and gave it to Kairi, giving her a genuine smile as I did so. She took the napkin and started dabbing at her eyes immediately. Kairi tried to smile back, but I could tell that it was half hearted. "I felt like what I did to him that night was so bad that it was a good enough reason for him to never come back to us. I was – _am_ – so angry with myself Sora that whenever you guys brought him up in conversations, that anger and disgust for myself would just transfer onto Riku. It wasn't meant to be intentional, it just happened. It was easier for me to pretend to hate Riku then it was for me to deal with knowing that I was the reason he left us for good."

Right at that moment my heart really went out for Kairi. I knew exactly how she felt by thinking that the reason behind Riku's sudden departure from us four years ago was her fault. I remembered replaying over and over possible reasons why _I_ was the reason why Riku left us. I remember the pain and I remember the guilt. But in actual fact it was neither of our faults. It wasn't even Riku's fault why he had to leave. It was just one of those things which hopefully after today we can all officially put behind us.

Kairi wasn't expecting the sudden embrace I captured her in, but as soon as it occurred to her what was going on she timidly wrapped her arms around me too. "All these years I've been thinking that it was my fault that Riku left us like that. I'm not sure why, but I just did, and that guilt tore me apart for years Kairi," I confessed and held her a little tighter when I could feel small tears soak my shirt. "So I know how you feel, but it's not healthy. All this pent up guilt and anger has contributed to enough of our arguments that it's time to say enough is enough." I pulled Kairi away from me slightly so that I could look into her eyes and show her how serious I was about this whole thing. "You need to talk to him Kairi." Kairi sighed and looked away, but I wasn't giving up on this. "I can see how much this is troubling you and I can see how sorry you are. If you just show Riku then you'll feel so much better Kairi. Even if he rejects your apology and doesn't listen to what you've got to say, then at least you can say that you tried-"

"-Sora-"

"You don't want Riku to leave this world with things the way they are between you two, knowing that you didn't even try to make this whole thing right do you?"

Asking Kairi that question definitely struck something within Kairi because her eyes widened and a hand covered her mouth. It looked like she didn't think about Riku leaving as well. Shaking her head as a 'no' to my question, Kairi removed her hand and asked me "what am I going to do?"

"You talk to him." I wasn't the one who suggested it. Wakka was as he came up from behind us with Selphie by his side.

"We're all going to speak to him today," Selphie informed Kairi. "Tidus has just gone to find out where he is now." That's one of the things I love about Selphie. Whenever there is something important to one of us, she always makes sure that she helps out as best as she could. When I first spoke to her earlier this morning, I thought that she would be the only one who would speak to Riku tonight and let him know that she didn't hate him. But now she's gotten Tidus and Wakka to do the same and she's even persuading the toughest of them all to do the same. The girl is truly amazing.

Wakka smiled brightly at Kairi, giving her the encouragement she needed. "Whatever happened in the past is the past, ya? So we should bury it and move on. Riku's a big boy, if he still doesn't want to talk to us, then at least we gave it a final shot anyways. Life will still go on." He said as he wrapped his robe clad arms around her and embraced her tightly. Kairi instantly responded and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

As she watched the scene before us then looked back at me, Selphie's smiled brightened just like mine because we knew now that Kairi was ready to talk to Riku. Kairi didn't even have to say anything once she let go from Wakka. I could see that she was still slightly nervous in her eyes, but her genuine smile let me know that she _wanted_ to do this.

This is turning out to be one of the best days ever. It really did start out pretty crap literally from the moment I woke up in Riku's car, but the day has just gotten better and better. I'm pretty sure that nothing could ruin today for me.

Quickly enough any tension that was still lingering in the air had dispersed and we were all back to normal. Selphie and Kairi began questioning Wakka about how it felt to be a graduate from Destiny High. Tidus still hadn't returned yet, as he was still looking for Riku, but it was all good because I had my weakness to keep me satisfied until he returned: a chocolate fountain and marshmallows. Ever since Kairi and I walked over here earlier they were the first thing I saw and have been unable to get them off from my mind. So now since Kairi and I have spoken, Wakka is here with us and all other problems have been resolved, I don't see why I couldn't delve into my guilty pleasure.

The marshmallows were already on the stick and formed the 'Destiny', which I happened to think was pretty cool. I had a selection of milk, white and dark chocolate to choose from so seeing as I was in a really good mood I went for the dark chocolate. The problem with these things is that they were so messy and I had to be sure that I didn't get any on my shirt otherwise the girls would kill me. The melted chocolate started to leak off of the marshmallows so I made a paper plate hover underneath it to avoid any more mess. Looking at my treat with ravenous eyes, I licked my lips once and opened my mouth to taste chocolaty chewy heaven.

That's when Tidus decided to turn up behind me, slapping me surprisingly on the back and making me not only jump, but miss my mouth as well. "Yo buddy! You never told me that you weren't allowed to be here?" He said mischievously. I turned to face him but as soon as I did he laughed and pointed at my face, holding his stomach as he did so.

I glared at him as best as I could. I knew exactly what he was laughing at, the fact that I had a big mark of dark chocolate going across my cheek to the tip of my ear. Then I caught on to what he just said. "H-How did you know? Did Selphie tell you?" The only way Selphie would have known is if she guessed it because I know for a fact that I wouldn't have told her that I couldn't go to this. I really hoped and prayed that Selphie guessed it and told him.

Once he recovered, his big grin was still on his face as he wiped away tears. "Nope." He answered happily. My face dropped. Please, oh gods _please_ gods tell me that it was Roxas. Tell me that Roxas was here after all and told Tidus this piece of information. Tidus lifted the hand which wasn't holding the camera and pointed behind me "Leon did."

"Leon!"

"Surprise." Was the one thing I heard once I turned around in shock before a bright light nearly blinded my vision. I wished, I truly wished, that the bright light I saw was from me passing out because of the shock of my older brother being here. I really wished that I had fainted or something just so that I didn't have to face him. But no. As usual, karma came back around with a smile on her face as she delivered not only Leon, but also Cloud with a camera in his hand.

When it registered to me that the big bright light was in face the flash of a camera, I just blinked at the two men before me. I blinked again. Then again. I thought that if I blinked enough either they would or I would disappear because right now I really didn't mind which. As I blinked like a dumbfounded idiot, Leon looked back at the picture he just took and showed it to Cloud, each with a content smile on their evil little faces. Without saying a word, Leon handed Cloud the camera and the blond walked off in my direction, patting me on the shoulder once as he walked past me.

Then Leon started to approach me, expressionless, and keeping his freaking grey eyes on me. I honestly didn't know whether I was supposed to me mad or scared at him at this moment in time. Mad because of the picture, or scared because he's caught me, red handed, defying what he asked me to do not only a couple of hours ago. In the end I chose to be neither mad or scared and instead just upfront with him. He got a bottle of water and some napkins from the buffet bar then stood directly in front of me. "Leon I-"

He raised his hand and cut me off from speaking any more. I hate the fact that he has the power to do that. Leon opened the bottle of water and dampened the napkins with it then handed it over to me. I looked at him confused. "It's for your face." He answered my facial expression.

"Err- thanks." I mumbled and heard him chuckle quietly. I looked up at him to see that he had a small smile on his face and this confused me even more. "What are you-"

"You really were worried about my reaction weren't you?" Leon interrupted with a question. His voice was neutral as always but I could tell that he wasn't angry with me. I was about to answer but he ruffled my hair slightly which caught me off guard. With arms folded over his chest, he still smiled and shook his head to side in disbelief. "Sometimes I wonder where you get your obliviousness from." Was that an insult? "Sora, you should have known that I knew what tonight was and that I would have let you go." Leon claimed sincerely.

I stopped wiping the side of my cheek and my mouth actually fell open at what Leon just said. "You've got to be kidding me!" I cried with my arms flailing in the air at him. "'You're not going anywhere tonight.' And 'I can't keep letting things like this slide'-" I couldn't believe that he dared to laugh at my impersonation of him "-is supposed to make me feel like I can freely come here!" I couldn't even keep my voice down, but Leon being Leon didn't care about what kind of attention I attracted; in the end it was me looking like a crazy person in front of strangers. "I've been making myself sick worrying about if you would find out!"

Pinching the bridge of his nose, closing his eyes and looking down, Leon sighed. "You are so overdramatic. Shiva you're worse than Roxas." He murmured loud enough to hear. "Even if I tied you up and locked you away you still would have found some way of getting here. And I doubt you've been thinking about my reaction ever since you got that wave." The brunette smirked at my deepening blush. Did everyone know that it was _me_ that he waved at? "I didn't think so." He confirmed for himself and I glared.

"B-but, what are you even doing here?" I questioned curiously.

Leon sighed again. "I'm here because of Riku." He answered and to be honest I wasn't expecting it. "Even though I haven't spoken to him longer than you, he and his parents were a big part of my life too. I wanted to show my support for both of them." The grey eyed brunette explained seriously, folding his big arms back over his chest.

I smiled broadly at my older brother and latched my arms around him. Leon was obviously not expecting the gesture, but he put his arms, half-heartedly, around me anyways. "You really are a good brother Leon." I murmured into his chest.

"Roxas is here too by the way. Even though he won't admit it, I know he's here for the same reason I am."

At the mention of my twin's name something clicked in my mind. I pulled away from Leon and gave him questioning eyes and furrowed brows. "Roxas is here? You said that he was working today." Leon didn't even have time to think of an excuse before I figured it out. "He was in on this too wasn't he!" Again I denied him the luxury of answering me before I asked another question. "And Cloud! Cloud too! Why are you all out to get me!" I didn't want to – damn it I really didn't want to – but I pouted. I pouted like a baby and I couldn't get rid of it.

Again he chuckled as though this whole thing was so funny. "You make it too easy Sora." He answered plainly. "By the way, what did Cloud say that convinced you to come?"

"To make sure I'll be back by midnight while he '_entertains_' you all night. Whatever that means." I said innocently because I honestly did not know what could possibly entertain a sadist like Leon.

But Leon just smirked a little cockily. "Did he now?" I heard him ask himself before walking past me. I watched him walk away and the tall brunette didn't even turn around as he called out "I'll pick you and your friends up at midnight."

"Hey! Don't I even get an apology!" I cried out to him. "Not even 'I'm sorry for scaring the life out of you Sora'? No?" All I did get, however, was a half hearted wave before his body disappeared amongst the others. I should have been mad at him for tricking me like that but Leon's reasons for being here overcame that. Riku's parents were a big part of my family's life and to have Leon here showing his support to Riku without the latter even knowing reminds me that underneath the stoic mask which resembles the devil, is a good big brother. He was still evil though. "Can you guys belie-" I stopped my speech because the space where my friends should have been was currently empty. "huh?" I questioned no one in particular.

I'm sure they were there a second ago. Scanning around the crowd of people for my friends, I couldn't help but wonder where they had gotten to. I was only talking to Leon for a moment and usually whenever the older brunette is in the vicinity it takes a whole army to move them away. So where would could they…

Riku!

They've gone to see Riku without me. Wh-Why would they do that? It made no sense. No sense at all. Well standing still and doing nothing wasn't going to help me so immediately I started to weave myself in and out of the bodies in search of my friends and Riku. Damn it, I didn't even get to hear Tidus say where Riku was. He could be anywhere within this school right now. What were they thinking?

"Sora." At the call of my name I turned to see Zexion. Pretending as though my friends' abrupt disappearance didn't bother me, I genuinely grinned big and happy to see the slate haired male in front of me. Walking up to each other, Zexion was the first to speak. "You're friends are at the parking lot talking to Riku _and_ they told me to tell you, before you overreact, they thought that it would be better if you spoke to him on your own." And just like that my mind relaxed. They would really do that for me?

Now that all of that was sorted out, I just couldn't wait to ask the one question to Zexion which I've wanted to all night. "Did you find Demyx?" Really I should have asked him about graduation and had a conversation like all the people around me were having, but this was just way more important.

Clearing his throat at the question, Zexion looked down slightly to cover an extremely faint blush which I could see creeping up. "I found him." Zexion answered while trying to keep a smile at bay.

I however did absolutely nothing to hold back the monstrous grin I had on my face and without giving warning, I leaped onto Demyx with my arms wrapped around him. "I'm so happy for you!" Zexion then awkwardly patted me on the shoulder, letting me know that hugging time was over. With a smile, I detached myself from him and was glad to see the corners of his lips tugged up slightly too. "So are you two…like…er…"

"We've still got a lot to talk about." Zexion answered my 'question' in his own way. "But things are looking…good." He added with an extremely small smile.

If I was to get all girly on him and make a scene Zexion would have only rolled his eyes and walk away from me, so I opted for a smile and an all knowing nod in the end. Appreciating, he smiled back then was caught off guard when Axel appeared out of no where and wrapped an arm around his shoulder, pulling the smaller male towards him. "Aww Zexion I'm so proud of ya!" Taking Zexion's bright blue graduation cap from atop his head, the red head placed it on his own mane of intense red spikes and handed a camera to Roxas who stood next to me as soon as Axel appeared. "Quick, Roxy, take a picture of us while I have him still." The tallest male commanded, already having his cheesy smile ready for the picture.

Both Roxas and Axel looked smart for the occasion. Axel and Roxas both wore a simple black and white suit, minus the blazer. The only difference was their colors in ties; Roxas' was like a golden yellow whereas Axel's was a bright purple. I am so stupid! How could I not see Roxas leaving the house like this earlier? If I had then there might have been some sort of chance that I would have figured out that Leon would have turned up as well. I should have known that he wasn't working at Scarlet's tonight!

My aforementioned twin's eyes narrowed slightly which caused the smile on Axel's face to falter slightly. "Ask me properly." He commanded.

Brilliant green eyes rolled in annoyance. "Can you take a picture of us _Roxas_." Axel corrected and it was obvious in his face that he was not happy about losing the nickname that he had thought of for my brother.

"Smile," Roxas told them as he positioned the camera and then pressed the button. Three seconds later a flash was there then gone and the picture had been taken. But that wasn't enough for Axel. After he started criticizing Zexion for not smiling in the pictures, he started taking the pictures himself much to Zexion's dismay because they soon after got into a mini argument. I got so into the way they argued so naturally that I almost forgot Roxas standing next to me. "He smiled at you." Roxas stated and as he did so our similar blue eyes locked.

Of course I knew who the blond was referring to, my stomach dropped in a good way once he said it, but I just didn't know what to say. The last time Roxas and I spoke about Riku, I confessed to my twin about how I was feeing about him, even though I knew what Roxas thought about him. After all that commotion four years ago, Roxas had grown a strong dislike for the silverette. But… when I told Roxas how I felt he seemed much more understanding than I thought he would be, but he still didn't show any indication of changing his mind about Riku. That's why I chose to remain silent and nod at what he just said.

"I don't think I've seen him smile these past couple of years." He commented before his eyes took on a more caring role and he too smiled. "I bet he's waiting to talk to you right now huh?"

Washed over with nothing but relief, I smiled too. "Yeah," I answered.

With a laugh and a roll of the eyes, Roxas took my shoulders in his hands then turned me around before pushing me forward. "Then what are you doing talking to me?"

I didn't have to look behind me to know the encouraging look Roxas would be giving, nor did I have to look behind to show him how appreciative I was to him. Who knows, maybe its twin tuition or something? But whatever it was was enough for me to take his hint and start making my way towards the parking lot.

Towards Riku.

With so many parents and visitors at the school tonight, the parking lot was pretty full but I didn't let any paranoid thoughts get into my head. If I could find him once in a parking lot, then I could find him again. All I would have to do is look out for his dad's, Jared, old car. Thinking about that car just put thoughts of last night back in my head. It was still kind of a shock to see him driving the classic Highwind car, but I'm glad that he was. Before the car had sentimental value purely because it was his dad's, but now, as of last night, it gained so much more.

It's the car where Riku and I had our first kiss.

The butterflies joined together and created a maelstrom in my stomach every time I thought about it. Never in a million years would I have thought that that would have happened, let alone in a car, but 'glad' just seems like a dismal word to describe how I felt that we did. It was special and it felt like (in a non creepy way) they were there with us, granting us both the one wish we both wanted. However, I still couldn't wrap my head around the fact that Riku didn't want me to tell him that I love him. Because I do – I love him so much and I really want him to know that. I guess it was understandable the first time I tried to tell him; his head wasn't in the right place at the time and he genuinely thought that I was only going to say it to tell him what he wanted to hear or something.

But after this morning – after all my begging him not to leave what we could have – and we did finally end up together, when I was about to tell him, he purposely cut me off. Why? Why would he not want to hear what I had to tell him. Why would he not want to hear that I love him?

Well, as usual, I didn't have time to contemplate it because as I was weaving my way around the cars, I noticed Tidus and Selphie walking towards us. The blond was holding Selphie as she blubbered into his chest. I was, however, surprised that my first initial thought was that the talk with Riku didn't go down so well. Usually my mind it set to panic when I see thing like this, but for some reason I was calm.

Once they stood in front of me, I had to ask, "is she okay?"

Tidus rolled his sky blue eyes, "you know how emotional she gets." Like a good boyfriend he held her a little more tighter but I didn't let him know that her make-up had completely stained his white shirt. Like I said: Karma. "I'm going to take her inside and get her all freshened up. He's just around the corner by the way." He informed me while starting to walk away with his sobbing girlfriend.

"Wait!" I called and he turned to look at me. "Where's Wakka and Kairi? Are they still talking to Riku?" Tidus made an 'oops' face before unwrapping a clingy Selphie from around him and walking back over to me. Exhaling deeply, Tidus' eyes stared into my own, searching for the understanding part of me.

"Wakka was kidnapped and Kairi ran off."

Now would usually be the time where I freaked out, but I thought that I would take on more of a Leon role and keep calm just like before. As collected and calm as I could managed, I questioned, "what do you mean he's been kidnapped?"

"Some jocks lifted him away and hurled him into a car for a grads only party down town." He answered calmly as well. Well, he really answered me like it was the most normal thing in the world, but I was trying very hard not to lose my cool. This wasn't some random stranger they were doing this to. This was Riku.

"Kairi snuck away just as soon as Riku was in eye sight though." Selphie joined, wiping at her eyes. "I wouldn't worry about it though Sora. Wakka really wanted to see Riku ever since we mentioned it to him earlier. I know that he will."

"And speaking of speaking to Riku, shouldn't you get going before he leaves?"

As if it was a command, I moved at Tidus' words and started walking towards Riku. "I'll see you guys back inside okay?"

"Just don't start crying like this one!" I heard Tidus joke as I started walking away. Of course I wouldn't cry, things were fine between Riku and I now. …Right?

It wasn't until I saw him there, leaning against Jared's car with his head held down and effortlessly catching his keys up and down in one hand, that I actually stopped to ponder it. Things _are_ fine between Riku and I right? I mean they had to be. How could they not? Especially after what just happened during his graduation – It's just that… every time I feel like we're making progress, Riku finds some way of retreating us back a couple of steps. It's not his fault, I know, but I just don't want to feel like we're going backwards and forth. It would kill me if he didn't talk to me again. It would be like… like…like I'm being paranoid.

Of course I'm being paranoid. Sweet Shiva I'm turning into Roxas! It's cool Sora, totally cool. All I have to do is stop being nervous, because when I'm nervous then I start thinking stupid things like that and I don't know how to erase them from my brain. So it's cool Sora, just walk over to him and be yourself. Don't try and start a conversation with him by telling a joke because you and Riku both know that you suck at them. All you've got to be is yourself because after all…

…that is who Riku loves.

Smiling at my own self-esteem build up, I looked up from the ground and was about to take a step forward towards Riku, but he was gone. The car was still there, in all its solidarity, without the human who was leaning on it only min-_seconds_ ago! Wh-Where could he have gotten to so fast and so quietly? Maybe he saw me while I was panicking a-and didn't want to talk to me? O-or what if he, too, just got kidnapped by some ninja graduates an-and –

A small gasp escaped my throat when a cold hand pressed against my forehead from behind. This would be another time that I would panic (more so than what I was already), but there was no need because one inhale of that indescribable scent, and _all_ my previous worries were over. It was just impossible to not smile at the feeling within me and even though I was content with the way we were, I had to ask "what are you doing?"

Removing his hand, Riku allowed me to turn around to look him into the teal eyes I've been dying to see all day. Our eyes locked as soon as I did turn around though and all I could feel is my heart flutter and beat at the sight of him. He didn't answer me straight away and instead chose to touch the back of his hand to my head, trying to keep a smile down for some reason. "I'm checking you don't have a migraine." He said, now smirking at the look I gave him. "I saw you thinking and I know you're not used to it." The smirk turned into a smile at his 'hilarious' joke.

Jeeze, and I thought that _mine_ were bad.

It didn't matter though, because I was too elated to care about the insult behind his joke. "Well that's very sweet of you." I replied back and listened proudly to the small laugh I was awarded with. Why he was laughing was a complete mystery to me, but to hear it was worth it.

The back of his cold hand, which still rested atop my head, turned over and moved down to my cheek as we just watched each other. I didn't even know that my own hand moved over his until I felt his skin underneath mine. Brining his other hand up, Riku held my face gently in his palms, slowly inching his own face towards mine. The eye contact between us broke when his lips joined mine and harder my heart raced at the feeling. I'm not cliché enough to say that it felt like I was flying or anything like that; in fact, the only thing that did feel like it was flying was the stress and worries I had. They flew right out of my system and left room for this warm feeling to spread and evolve. Gods I loved it when he kissed me – I hated the fact that I had to tip toe just a little, but anything is worth this feeling.

Together our lips moved simultaneously, beautifully. There was no intense passion to the kiss (like tongues and groping) because there didn't need to be. I embraced the loving emotion Riku delivered to me through the kiss and I just hoped that he could feel it from me too. We did, however, have to pull apart for air so that's when Riku decided to end the kiss, smiling that smile I can never get enough of. I didn't have to open my eyes to know it was there.

"Marshmallows?" I couldn't help but laugh a little at that. Riku of all people know my weakness for that chewy goodness. "You have no idea how happy I am that you're here," he said in a voice just above a whisper. Riku then moved his hands so that they were fully around me and pulled me forward into a hug.

I don't know why, but once my arms wrapped around him too, I grabbed onto the back of his clothes. It was then that I realized that he wasn't even wearing his graduation robes any more. "Mmhmm," I hummed as I inhaled his natural smell, "me too." I agreed. "How did your reunion go with Tidus and Selphie?"

As I leant into his chest, I felt him chuckle. "Reunion? The minute Selphie saw me she started crying and clinging onto to me. It took all of Tidus' strength to get her off me." He chuckled again. Placing a chaste kiss on my forehead, Riku unwrapped himself from around me, as I did to him, then we started walking back towards his car as he continued. "I'm glad that I stayed long enough for them to talk to me. I was sort of relieved that Wakka didn't speak to me though." I didn't say anything to that but I did look up to see Riku's facial expression. It was blank but he was facing forward as we approached the car. "I don't know how to tell him."

That sharp pang zapped me like an electric shock. I didn't want to hear this – I didn't want to hear him talking about becoming a SOL- No! No I won't have this. Not now that we've only just seen each other. We finally reached the car and by the time we did I had to get us off this conversation. "-And what about Kairi?"

Riku sighed and leaned against the car like before but this time with arms in his pockets and his orbs focused solely on me. "To know that Selphie and Tidus still love me should be enough, I guess. I've already accepted the fact that Wakka is going to hate me regardless-" As soon as he said that Riku watched me for a second, teal eyes slightly observing, before continuing again. "And Kairi… I just want to tell her I'm sorry. I at least want her to hear my apology." He admitted with a small smile.

"Don't worry Riku-" I started off encouragingly but was cut off abruptly by his finger on my lips.

"Hide behind the car." It took me a moment to register that it was a command because of the softness of his voice, but once it did I did as he asked without question. Naturally questions were buzzing around in my head, but it seemed like a better idea to ask them later.

It was silent for a couple of seconds before a new, slightly timid, voice entered in the scene. "Riku… have you got a moment? I really need to talk to you."

Kairi.

"Kairi?" I heard Riku question in mock surprise. He knew it was her and he knew she was coming, which is why he chose to hide me. I didn't know how to act about that to be completely honest. I mean, of course I expected our relationship to start off like this: hiding things from other people, not being seen with each other in public yadda yadda. But I guess I never thought that I would feel like this about it. Is Riku really going to have to hide me every time someone comes along? "Yeah…sure." He answered her question more confidently. I couldn't see anything thanks to being on the other side of the car, but when Riku asked her "what's wrong?" I knew that it had nothing about the conversation they were about to enroll in.

"N-nothing," she quickly replied, "I was just thinking that's all." There was a long pause for a minute before Kairi started speaking. I guessed that she leaned against the car too, next to Riku, because I felt the vehicle move more towards me slightly. "I-I've really wanted to talk to you for a long time, Riku." Kairi started, nervously. "These past years… they've seemed much longer than they should have been because you weren't here with us. You were everything to us and I understand at the time you were going through a rough patch: skipping school, running away… your parents."

Riku cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable about that subject. Well he must be, especially after last night at the cemetery and now leaning against his dad's car. I wonder if Kairi even noticed, or Selphie and Tidus? "Yeah." He agreed and you could hear the discomfort in his voice.

Kairi seemed to pick up on it too and swiftly moved on. "I was so hurt and angry that I just didn't know what to do. I thought that it was maybe something I did or that I was supposed to fix it, but I guess that I only made things worse-"

"-Kairi you didn't-"

"-but I did Riku." She interjected argumentatively. "If I didn't come and see you that night, if I just let things sort themselves out then maybe things would have turned out differently." The amount of times I had thought that too, it was scary. Did we all honestly think that four years ago? "And I've been living with this guilt for so long Riku. That night I shouldn't have said the things I did to you. You were obviously going through some things and I was extremely insensitive. I'm so sorry Riku." The wine redhead apologized sincerely.

"It's okay Kairi, honestly. I'm the one who should be apologizing-"

Again Riku got cut off. "No!" She demanded. "Don't you remember what even happened that night? What I did to you?" She was referring to slapping him around the face, I knew she was. "I should have had more control – I should have been stronger."

"-Kairi-"

"-We should never have had sex!-"

"-You guys had _what_!-"

It all happened so quickly that I didn't know it did. Kairi mentioned the word 'sex' and then I just burst like a firework and came out of my hiding place. Once she declared that, my heart was so consumed with dread that I just had to find out the truth. I needed to see the guilt on both their faces just to confirm it to be true. Because it couldn't be true. It just couldn't.

And… it wasn't.

As soon as both sets of eyes landed on me, I knew that it was all a bluff. Kairi was already waiting for me to come out of my hiding place because as soon as I appeared her eyes were already focused on me with both her hands defiantly on her hips and a smug look to accompany it. I didn't even get a chance to look at Riku before that little evil redheaded woman was standing directly in front of me. Using her nail (claw), she kept poking my shoulder, forcing me to take steps backwards with every poke.

Glaring at me, she finally spoke. "You just couldn't help yourself could you?" I had no idea whether it was rhetorical or not so I decided to just keep my mouth shut in case I said the wrong thing. It was a good thing too because she kept on speaking. "Just because you don't know what's going on you have to _spy_ on me. That's low." Wait? She thought that I was spying… on her? Then suddenly, as if she had a quick change of heart, Kairi stopped poking me and looking so mad. Instead she sighed, and gave me her 'understanding' look. "I know that you haven't seen him in ages and you really want to speak to him, but this is something that I've got to do. Okay? Just give me a couple of minutes to talk to Riku then you can have him all to yourself, I promise." Kairi then kissed me on the cheek, smiled sweetly, then turned back to Riku.

That all happened so fast that I didn't even realize that I had turned around and began walking back to the school until I was inside. Damn that Kairi and her crazy little hypnotizing-bi-polar ways. I mean, one second she was shouting at me, then the next kissing me on the cheek and sending me on my merry little way. Women are just too complex for me too understand. And speaking of which…

"Oh Sora!" Selphie cried as I came back to the outside field party, clinging onto my shirt and burying her face into my shoulder. "It was so emotional!" I barely managed to hear her say.

Trying so hard not to laugh quietly, I wrapped my arms around Selphie and swayed her gently from side to side to match the slow rhythm of the song. "Did you let him know that you still care about him?" Even though I already knew the answer, I couldn't let her know that.

She nodded slowly before lifting her head to speak more clearly, grass green eyes shining with happy tears. "He told us that he never stopped caring about us too," she smiled solemnly, "…it really was a good bye wasn't it? I'm probably never going to see him again will I?"

I held onto her just that little bit tighter as soon as she said what she did. "No, it doesn't have to be like that. He told you he still cared about you right? Maybe he wants to try and be friends again before he leaves." I didn't ask the last bit as a question because it wasn't one and I hoped that she understood that.

Selphie looked pensive for just one moment before innocently asking me, "what did he say to you?"

"I… didn't get the chance to talk to him." I lied. "I was about to, but Kairi got there first."

Her brown shaped eyebrows rose, "That's good right? Part of me really thought that she wouldn't." Selphie admitted.

"Yeah, me too. I'm glad she did though."

"Do you think that they're going to become friends after this too?" She asked then went back to resting her head on my shoulder while we danced.

"I really hope so." I told her softly and then all conversation on the matter was dead. "where's Tidus?"

Finally she laughed. "Cleaning off his shirt in the boys' bathroom," she answered. Then pulling back from me, she covered her smile with her hand and looked back up at me. "Looks like you'll need to as well." I looked down at the damage for myself only to smile back down at Selphie, letting her know that it didn't bother me. "It doesn't really matter anyway." She shrugged.

"Why?" I asked.

"Look around Sora, everyone is going home now, it's nearly midnight."

"Huh?" I responded before taking a look at the scenery around me. It was true, people were already leaving. Just to prove that she was right, Selphie brought my own hand up so that I could inspect my own watch. 23.42 pm. B-But Leon was picking me up at midnight. That meant that I had no time to spend with Riku. Where did all that time go? It was all just too fast that I wasn't ready to go home.

Selphie tilted her head to the side, "what's wrong Sora?"

"It's just that we have to be outside at midnight."

"Or else you turn into a pumpkin?" Tidus joked as he appeared from behind a set of people.

Selphie tiptoed slightly to hit her boyfriend on the back of his head, "he didn't get to speak to Riku you doofus."

Tidus' eyes widened only slightly in realization and his mouth formed a small 'o'. "Well, don't worry," he said optimistically, "there's always tomorrow. Why don't you see him after school tomorrow? That way you two will have plenty of time to speak." The blond suggested encouragingly and I knew he was being serious.

I nodded with a half-hearted smile, "yeah, you're right." I agreed despite knowing that he was wrong. I couldn't just turn up at Riku's house after school – especially because his family despise the thought of Riku and I being friends again, let alone being gay and with each other.

"Of course I am!" He cheered himself on before pumping his fists in the air. "Now lets eat the rest of those marshmallows before ol' Wisey pulls the switch on those chocolate machines." He winked then they both waited for my reaction.

Smiling as genuinely as I could, I nodded to his suggestion and walked with my two best friends over to the buffet area. Holding back my sigh of disappointment, I listened Selphie and Tidus to describe to me in more detail about what they talked to Riku about. Apparently Selphie wasn't the only one who was pushed to tears, but once we started questioning Tidus about it, the blond got all defensive and in a huff and puff about it. He even started claiming that the salt water from the sea traveled to his eyes at this time at night and made them leak slightly. Honestly, the excuses they come up with. I explained to them that Leon would be giving us all a ride home which only made Selphie go all googley eyes and Tidus evoke an argument between the pair of them.

Then I started to think about Riku. I was so happy that Kairi decided to man up and talk to him. Even if she was angry that I was 'spying' (hiding), I know how much better she will feel once she's said what she's needed to say to him. I just wish that it wouldn't take as long as it had because then I would have been able to get at least another couple of minutes with him. Even if it was just one more minute with him I would have been happy.

But alas, right on the midnight dot, Leon was already waiting outside in the parking lot in his black convertible. Kairi had literally just joined us when we were walking out of the building. Selphie wrapped her eyes around her immediately which only set her off again. The positive, however, was that they were happy tears that the girls were crying and that more than enough for me. Unfortunately for me and Tidus, as soon as Leon's car came into contact with our eyes, all tears stopped and the gasps and giggle began.

"Shotgun!" Selphie declared loudly then wore a smug grin at Kairi's expression. I rolled my eyes where Tidus smacked his palm to his face; we both knew that this was going to be a _long_ journey.

"Shit," Tidus swore. "I left my camera at the buffet."

"I'll get it!" I offered and without giving Tidus a chance to argue, I retreated back to the school building, leaving him with the perverted speaking Kairi. The camera was safely sitting there by the chips and dips bowl where Tidus had left it. Thank God no one had stolen it because it had the entire night recorded for Lulu. Tidus even told me that he managed to get Riku to give a little message to her as well. So this camera was very important. Using the lanyard, I wrapped it securely around my neck and began walking back to the car. Just as I was about to leave the school building for the third time, a familiar cold hand grabbed mine and before I knew it I was being pulled into one of the empty classrooms.

The lights were off and it was _really_ dark, but I didn't need it to see who was there. Why would I need light if I had Riku?

"I'm sorry," he apologized. "I just needed a little longer with you." He said gently and I could feel his golden smile without even seeing it.

What I could make out, however, was those strands of silver hair practically glowing from moonlight shining through the window. Using that as guidance, I confidently (tip-toed slightly) and leaned forward to capture his lips and a quick but no less sweet and meaningful kiss. I don't think I'm ever going to get used to or sick of the feeling that erupts within me every time I feel those velvety soft lips upon my own. My arms wound around his neck whereas his went around my waist, both of us bringing the other one forward.

Riku bumped his head gently against mine, still speaking low and softly. "I have something I want to ask you." He whispered. "But I want to do it properly." Riku then stopped embracing me, triggering me to (reluctantly) do the same and took a step or two back. Probably to try and see me and look me in the eyes, but it was much easier to see him because of his paleness and the brightness of his eyes.

"Okay." I said and mentally prepared myself for whatever it is that he wanted to ask me.

Riku smiled and my heart honestly skipped a beat. He mocked cleared his throat before taking one of my hands with his own and locking our fingers together. "Sora Hart." He started with his voice much louder than before. "Would you be my date for prom?"

My mouth opened in surprise. First because Riku of all people even _considered_ going to his graduation prom, and second because he was even thinking about taking me. No. Not just taking me but taking me as his _date_. To _prom_. As his _date_. _Me_! I was just so overjoyed and confused that all I could do was smile and lean against the door, too happy and surprised to answer him.

"I think that I should take this as a 'yes' right?" He smiled again then took my other hand in his.

"Right." I answered as calmly as I could and squeezed our hands together. I knew that later stupid, pointless, paranoid questions and fears would start buzzing in my head about this, but right now I couldn't bring myself to care. It was just me and Riku at the moment and our time was limited.

Way too limited. "You should probably get going huh?" He suggested sadly, his smile losing some of its happiness.

Unfortunately I had to agree, "Yeah before Leon starts sniffing me out like a hunting hound and hauls me out of here." I joked and Riku laughed that rich hearty laugh I love to hear. This time he was the one to initiate the kiss and he made sure that it lasted a lot longer than the other one causing the butterflies to go insane in my stomach. After we pulled apart, I needed to ask him "will I see you before prom?"

Riku kissed me on the cheek then let go of my hands. "I really hope so." He whispered before opening the door gently and walking us both out of the dark classroom. We didn't even need to discuss about who would leave the school first because we both knew it would be me. Placing a final slow peck on the corner of my lips, Riku whispered "I love you," in my ear.

My chance to tell him the truth was rudely interrupted by the sound of a beeping horn of a very expensive black convertible. Like an idiot I turned at the sound, praying that no one would come through the door to come and get me. Luckily no one did but when I turned back to Riku, he was gone like he wasn't there at all. I wasn't surprised and weirdly enough I wasn't disappointed either. "I love you too." I sighed at the loss of my chance then started walking back to the car with my brother and friends.

By the time I got to the car, Tidus was standing outside holding the door open for me. The contrast of his sky blue eyes against the dark night sky was amazing, even as he glared at me. "I am _not_ sitting next to her any longer. He is your brother which makes this _your_ problem. I had to force him to beep that horn otherwise I would have got you myself!" He angrily told me in my ear so that no one else could hear. I braced myself for whatever it was that was bothering Tidus before entering in the car and sitting between him and Kairi. Leon and Selphie were having a conversation and it wasn't until I was fully settled with my seatbelt secure that I actually noticed what they were talking about.

He was teaching her how to drive. Not in the innocent way that he probably thought she was either.

"So what's this called again?" She asked with her voice covered thickly in feigned innocence.

"An ignition." He answered straightforwardly. "You put the key in it to start the car."

"You could put your key in my ignition anytime." Kairi murmured loud enough for only us two to hear. I was instantly disgusted and deeply regretted sitting next to her. I tried to plead with Tidus to swap seats but he gave me a look to say 'your own fault,' before looking out of his respective window. I showed Kairi how disgusted I was, trying to evoke some sort of human compassion in her which would make her _stop_. But she didn't. We hadn't even gotten out of the parking lot and she had already made three more perverted, repulsive comments. Where on this world did she get such a dirty mind? Luckily for me though, I was able to find something strong enough to block everything she was saying from my mind.

I'm Riku's date for prom.

**:: ::**

**AN: **I'm so sorry guys. I haven't replied to ANY reviews and for some reason this chapter has taken longer than expected. I'll have a better Authors Note in the next chapter giving you all my endless apologies and a better explanation. But right now, I've got to skeddaddle. Let me know what you think! Sorry again and a really big thank you to everyone who has made it this far :).


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